Received Thursday, November 29, 2007
Is this a small thing? I watched your nanny who had your daughter sitting on her lap while she was talking with a nanny friend. The nanny was wearing a shiny jacket that had puffy squares on it. The child looked tired and was leaning into the nannies chest and was tracing the squares of the jacket with her finger. No biggie, right? Out of the blue, the nanny grabs the child's hand, throws it down at her side and says, "stop poking me or I will break your fingers off". And then she went right back with her conversation, as if that burst out was nothing abnormal. This all happened at Pelham Bay Playground off of Bruckner Boulevard. The nanny and child were both white. The nanny had a a short, mod hairdo and several earrings in her ear. The child had medium length blond hair, wavy and was very light skinned. She had on white tights, tennis shoes and a pleated skirt.
30 comments:
No OP, not a small thing. Thanks for posting. This Nanny threatened that poor little girl, and I'm sure it must have scared her.
OMGosh!.....that is no small thing!!! What is WRONG with people??!!!.....again, I am angry with the parent(s). This girl (nanny)sounds like a very unprofessional person! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
"Is this a small thing?"
Really?
It's horrible, it's actionable.
I can't imagine being that child's mother, going to work each day and hoping that my child is being loved, just to find out that she isn't
Yes sue doe nim, and then parents wonder why their children are cranky, angry, withdrawn, or inexplicably agressive.
This little girl will likley always remember the day she was threatened with having her fingers broken off. And who knows what else this wicked woman says to her?! You do not speak like this to a child if you have even an ounce of caring for her, so this girl is likely receiving NO affection, love, or even basic kindness as her personality and her perspective of the world and her place in it are being formed.
Good job mom and dad for placing your child in the care of an emotionally abusive monster and not caring enough to ABSOLUTELY KNOW how she is spending her days. This nanny inspires me to revive the ever popular term "Asshat," however it is the parents who are ultimately responsible for this child's welfare.
Again, it's the parent's fault? Could it be the abusive nanny's fault for just one minute? She is an adult, hopefully smart enough to realize that she hates children. She fakes it for the parents daily I am sure. Why the hell do women like this apply to be nannies?
That's why I broke "asshat" out of the vault just for this nanny.
I don't see how a person could be this ugly to a child and still manage to do a fantastic fake job for a pair of really involved parents who spend A LOT of time observing her with the child...both when nanny knows they are watching and when she doesn't. Have they had friends and family secretly observe her for extended periods at the park and other activities? I am guessing not. Threatinging to rip fingers off a child is not an isolated event that comes out of the blue. Either that or they know and simply don't care...which I hope is not the case.
I have heard mothers talk to their children like that more then I have heard nannies talk to their charges like that.
That poor girl. I understand that sometimes being 'poked' can get annoying, but thats when you move their hand gently and say "Stop please."
Maybe a small thing to some, but it just sounds a someone said something stupid when annoyed. Maybe the kid had been poking at her for quite awhile and the nanny/mom (no one knows for sure)just wanted it to stop. I really don't think this kid is going to be in therapy scarred for life over this one incident. Go ahead and flame me for stating my opinion, I know you all will, because most of you have nothing better to do than pick apart others lives, trying to cause trouble. Bunch of petty witches (with a "b")
My parents said things like that to me as a child and I turned out good. Not abusive or scared. It sounds harsh when you read it. About what age is the girl?
....It won't scar the kid, so go ahead and say it?
Well why not shove her off your lap so she falls and scrapes her knees. Something like that wouldn't scar her either. (Not emotionally at least.)
No.
Saying that to a child shows your ignorance and that you're nothing more than a big bully.
How do we know it's a nanny and not a mom?? It's possible that parents do speak to their child/children that way, although it's horrible to consider. I am sure the girl would have responded to a more polite request than that. I hope someone who knows her reads the blog, and stops the nanny/mom or informs the parent.
When I was 4 or 5, my little sister and I shared a room with my older (teenage) sister. One night we kept talking and giggling and wouldn't be quiet. Finally, my sister said "if you two don't quiet down and go to sleep I'm going to hang you on the wall by your toenails!" Scary? A little. But I don't think she said it because she hated us! Sometimes people say stupid things when they're frustrated.
It was certainly immature for her to react this way to the child. However, I don't think it means she hates children.
I'd also be interested in the way she said it. Did it sound like a sincere threat? (like Peyton in "the Hand that Rocks the Cradle")
Could she have been joking? I've said similar things in jest. (i.e. Boy, if you don't get those stinky toes off of me, I'm gonna eat em for lunch!)
This is not a small thing at all. This is terrible. Good post OP. Hopefully someone who knows this child will see it.
It Could have been a Mother
and there could have weapons of mass destruction.
I've seen many moms talk like this. It isn't unlikely that it was a mother.
Especially since there is no reason stated for it to be an assumed nanny.
I was thinking the mom thing too, but didnt want to be first to say it. Mom or nanny, this is terrible.
Uuuuuuuuugh!
What is up with the "Is it the mom, or the nanny"?? Who really gives a flying hoot? A kid is in trouble! I'm so sick of seeing this on EVERY post, and I know I'm not the only one.
I would like to believe that OP has some common sense and while witnessing the interaction, can decipher the "mommy/nanny" question, and post her thoughts/opinion. I think we should assume 'nanny', unless OP states that they weren't sure of the relationship.
Now that I've got that out of my system I feel sooo much better!
When one of my kids was misbehaving, really misbehaving, I used to tell them "I'm gonna knock your head off".
Naturally I never followed through and they seemed to know that I wouldn't.
mommy dearest?
... still not a nice thing to say to your kids - whether they thought you meant it or not.
When my charges are giving their mom attitude, she will start tickling them and say, "I'm gonna have to hurt you bad!" in a joking way. Obviously they know she is joking and it is just to get them to laugh (which it does). I, however, disagree with this entirely! They go around saying that to other people and it's not something that should be said at all, joking or not. At that age, they often don't know where that line is between joking and being serious. Threats are never okay, not even to be funny. There are much more effective ways to change behavior. Read a parenting book or something.
1:06, there is nothing wrong with the mom joking about it.
Even the 2 year old I used to care for knows the difference between joking and being serious.
And parenting books are full of B.S.
1:06
I'm with you - joking or not - any kind of threat towards a child - veiled or not - is wrong. And just to touch on the 'tickling', many psychologists have said that it is a mild form of torture, and IMO I believe it is, too. Any time I was tickled as a child, I absolutely hated it. And most of the time, when you're begging the person to stop, they don't.
My kids and I have "joked around" and said silly things all along. Kids do like that. HOWEVER, none of my "jokes" ever once included mention of knocking their heads off, hurting them bad (or at all, in even the slightest way), or breaking any of their body parts off. I don't know. That just doesn't sound right to me.
Even though I am an adult and can use reason (which is not a particular skill of young children), if I was joking around with somebody and they jokingly said any of those things, I think I would still feel a little creeped out, even though I would fully realize that they had no intention of actually hurting me. It's just a weird thing to "tease" about.
some words of wisdom from my mom:
"I'm going to knock your head off"
"I'm going to slap you silly"
"Who do you think you are"
----then she'd wait until we said---
"Nobody"
and she would say "That's right".
I heard her say this to my 10 year old brother and it stuck with me. I can't remember what he did.
"When I tell you to jump, you ask me how high, and when I tell you to take a shit, you ask me what color I want it".
All of these things were said in anger and with menace. "I'm gonna hurt you bad" while tickling a child doesn't sound at all troubling to me.
Least Expected One,
It probably doesn't sound as bad to you because the cruel and demeaning things your mother said to you and your brother are even worse. But that doesn't make this OK.
My mom used to say "I'm going to knock you from here to kingdom come." I never knew, or even pondered what that might actually mean. I just knew she must be pretty mad when that came up. (Although I did have a mental picture of myself flying through the air to some faraway kingdom in the clouds to find a royal family all dressed up and sitting on thrones. Didn't sound too bad...except for the possibility of being hit so hard I could fly all the way there from the force of a single blow.)One day she said it and my sister, who is much younger than me, sat very quietly for a moment and finally asked, in all seriousness, "Where does King Come live anyway?"
In this world of over zealous, overly politically correct autocrats, be careful what you say and do front of your kids. One of my friends' children was expelled from school for repeating something his Mom does in jest. He put his finger to his head in the sign of gun during a particularly boring moment in class and whispered to his friend, "just kill me and get me out of this misery" and was removed for expressing suicidal tendencies and required to attend counselling on a regular basis as a condition of returning to school. Nuts huh? (Whoops, unusual reaction isn't it--wouldn't want to offend).
2:33
I hate to hear these stories too. Where has all the common sense gone?
Oh Mom, lol (post 1:52), how I do love your little anecdotes!
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