Thursday

Outside Madison Avenue Presbyterian in NYC

Received Thursday, November 8, 2007
This morning just before 8:00 AM approaching 74th. Street, a nanny watching three children burst into hysterical laughter when one of the children, the oldest of the bunch tripped and fell on the street; towards the curb. She kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" but continued to laugh; and not help the child up. The two other children with her were not laughing, they looked horrified. Thank you to the little boy who picked up the older boy's back pack and thank you you to the very tall man in the navy raincoat who gave your son a hand. He seemed to wonder along with me; what is wrong with this woman? This happened right in front of Madison Av Presbyterian. The two younger children were both about 5-6 yrs. old. Same height. I think they were friends and not relatives as they had different coloring and features. The little girl wore a reddish quilted jacket with a black velvety trim, I don't recall what the boy of the same age was wearing, but the boy who fell down was about 7-8 and was wearing a jacket that had a denim body to it and grey sweatshirt like sleeves and hood. The boy who fell had brown, curly hair and wore glasses. He was carrying a solid black backpack with a silver Nike swoosh. The nanny was a petite, white woman with a short blonder bob style hair cut, slightly overweight and was wearing a large, camouflage jacket and greenish leggings that were tucked in to a quilted boot that resembled but was not an UGG style. Sorry but mostly what I can recall are the jackets.

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a disgusting, subhuman slug that nanny is. She laughs at a child's pain and embarrassment like someone would laugh at a Seinfeld episode.

I hope her employers are reading this, and fire the wench.

Anonymous said...

That is cruel. I hope she isn't his mother.

Anonymous said...

laughing at them makes them tougher.
he'll be fine.

cali mom said...

I always love it when the ignorant slug dungbag nannies post about themselves and try to stick up for themselves anonymously. At least we know they can recognize all the letters of the alphabet on the keyboard, although they are obviously confounded by all those confusing punctuation keys and don't understand the concept of Initial Caps. I guess someone "toughened them up" in their sad childhood.

Anonymous said...

@4:21 PM
I wonder what a nanny is doing on blogger at this time of day. hmmm...shouldn't I be busy laughing at children in the street?

you'll never know said...

I spent a month on Craigs List researching childcare options for NY families and realized that the same nannies are on Craigs list week after week. And then again, a month or two later. Either they are habitually fired or cannot get hired because they have no references and their background check turns up instances of assult/heroin possesion, etc. Craigs list is a testament to the fact that angry nannies are on the net- and their out to get you, the employer. So angry are they that you refuse to employ their mangy, lazy, criminal asses.

Anonymous said...

omg
angry nannies
on "the net"
run for the hills!

y'all are so much fun.
But I should really get back to job hunting and finding some kids to laugh at on the street! Right after I smoke some dope!

Anonymous said...

We have always disclosed to our nanny candidates on the phone that we conduct background checks. What I found absolutely shocking is that during our last round of hiring, we announced we would pay for the nanny to be tested for the HIV. Do you know that no nanny would consent to that? Makes me wonder how many nannies are infected with the HIV. Employers, assert your rights, trust for drugs and the HIV. Use nanny cameras, do complete background checks, including driving and credit check. I had a good friend turn up a driving accident that had caused serious injury to another person on a nanny who was applying for a job that required no driver's lisc. The nanny did not even admit she had a liscence.
Make sure to use switchboard and reverse phone directories to verify that the person you are speaking to as a reference is A reference and not a cousin. Use GOOGLE EARTH so you can see where the reference lives. You'd be surprised who is trying to pass themselves off as a nanny employer!
All of this is shocking and scary.
Be very careful who you leave your children with, especially if they are not old enough to speak for themselves. I would reccomend GPSing the stroller or diaper bag too. Yes, that is now possible!

Meme said...

4:36:

Sorry, but as a former health care worker, and a mom whose husband is also a health care worker, there is no reason to test a nanny for HIV.

Do you test all your kid's friends and teachers? How about all your relatives?

That is just crazy and I would not consent to it either. The risk of catching HIV from casual contact is almost 0. You probably interact with many HIV positive people every day. Hugs and kisses do not even pose a risk.

This isn't 1984. Get some up to date facts.

As far as other, more important, issues you mention in regard to background checks, I agree. I would not leave my child with someone without knowing they were not a pedophile or abuser.

I would check out as much as I could about the character and criminal history of the nanny as that is where the potential danger lies.

erics mom said...

I worked in a school, in the past. We were never ever tested for HIV. The only thing we were checked for was TB and of course background checks, etc. Come on, listen to Meme. Shes right. You need to do some research on this subject.

Mommy said...

Here's why it's relevant to test for HIV.
Here in America, having HIV is almost not a big deal anymore -- there are huge networks of people who can help, and great new drugs to treat it.
Nannies who come from countries where there's still a huge stigma attached, however, are wary of testing. Many of these countries have high rates of HIV for that reason.
It's totally within bounds for the employer to ask for an HIV test.

Anonymous said...

I'm not in the market for a nanny now, nor do I ever imagine I will go the way of the foreign nanny; but should I infact choose to- I would absolutely have her submit to a full check up. Absolutely. HIV is just one concern. What of all the people spreading HEP C? And mange?

Meme said...

Thanks for the support, Eric's Mom.

To the next two commenters, HIV is HIV. Yes, we may have better methods of treating it here, but that does make it more contagious or contagious a different way, just because your nanny is foreign.

And, I may be wrong (and I will check on this), but I am not sure it is even legal to request an employee take an HIV test.

jojo bear said...

You can get away with whatever you want when hiring a nanny. I have answered lots of ads that say "polish nanny" or "Jewish nanny wanted" and no one can bat an eye. I have know people ask me on the phone what I weigh because they don't want a heffer nanny. So I imagine an employer could not only ask for an HIV test, but order one online and administer it to the nanny in the foyer. There are no rules that protect us. If we respond to a job we want, we do what we're asked. I had a friend in Scarsdale who was being hired before the family's trip to Bali and the mother wanted to know if she was an eyesore in her swimsuit and so the mother asked her to bring a suit along. True. I proclaim Friday, November 9 Sympathy for Nannies Day.

meme said...

You make a good point Jojo and you have my sympathy.

Anonymous said...

JOJO Bear
"Friday, November 9 Sympathy for Nannies Day."

Great idea. Yes, the nannies posted about on here are awful, but let's have some sympathy for the good nannies who work for awful employers, how about it moms?

A lucky nanny with a wonderful work family

Anonymous said...

Hepatitis C is nearly impossible to contract unless one is sharing needles, cocaine straws, or toothbrushes(rare). It is very rarely even contracted through sex. A and B are what you should be worried about. Get smart.

Mom said...

There is a vaccination against B.

Isn't A more of a nonthreatening viral thing?

Anonymous said...

as a nanny i dont think there is anything innapropriate about doing an HIV test. kids get injuries all the time. theres always blood involved. i think gloves should be worn as a precaution when dealing with blood to prevent both the nanny and more importantly the child. i always have nicks and cuts as i cook everynight. insist that your nanny use gloves everytime

shocked said...

Cali Mom, you are an awful, awful person - you should be ashamed of yourself

shocked said...

I wish I knew why so many people feel so much hatred towards the people who are taking care of their children? "You never know," I can't get over the vile nature of your hateful, racist comments . . .

cali mom said...

shocked, LOL, you don't say? I'd ask you to elaborate but I don't have time for a good laugh right now. On the way out with my DS.

cali mom said...

10:04, (and Jojo Bear) I missed your post but it souns like a good idea to me!

Why do good competent (LEGAL) nannies subject themselves to hiring practices that could get a company sued for millions in any other industry? If someone treats you like that at an interview, (or even prior to it) that's someone you should run far away from and not even consider working for! Are individuals exempt from the labor laws that apply to companies, even though individuals can be employers? I wouldn't think so.

Anonymous said...

jojo bear
maybe the nanny should have asked the mom to try on her swimsuit as well. No respectable nanny should work for subpar-looking employers lol

Shocked said...

Calimom, you only reveal your own ignorance when you use phrases like "ignorant slug dungbag nannies." I can only begin to fathom the hatred you must feel in your heart towards these women, who do honorable work at barely living wage pay. Your comment was tinged with racial and class animus, and it saddens me to know there are people like you out there in this world. I hope for their sake your kids don't inherit your hateful ways.

Anonymous said...

Cali mom:

you got SERVED.

get a life.

cali mom said...

OMG, shocked, take some of your petty cash and buy yourself a clue. I'm surprised and mildly amused that you are so "challenged" that I actually have to explain this to you but I'll help you out (just this once). Read slowly now, 'k?

My response was to the person who was defending this a$$hole of a nanny that the ORIGINAL POST was about. Remember it? The one where a nanny was laughing at a child hysterically, and humiliating him?

Apparently you, like the slug dungbag I was responding to, and the slug dungbag that was written about, think that's perfectly acceptable. But most normal people do not, and I think it's quite nasty.

I'm not sure why you are projecting your own issues of racism and classism onto me, but I hope you are getting some therapy for that. Or is it just that perhaps you are brand new here or haven't been paying attention all along?

Shocked said...

Calimom, let me first assuage your fears and assure you that I am neither challenged nor in need of buying myself a clue. There is a big difference between not understanding what you said and thinking you're a horrible person for saying it, a chasm which I don't expect your mind to be able to leap across.

Let us first focus on what you said in your original comment and how you said it. What exactly, might I ask, is a "slug dungbag"? If we break down the etymology of your charming little phrase, we'll see that "slug" most like equates in your mind to "lazy," and "dungbag" to "a sack of sh*t." Calling nannies "lazy sacks of sh*t," in my estimation, is both racist and classist. It is clear that you don't agree, and that, fair Calimom, is what makes *you* racist and classist. Simple as that.

To address your other question, I am neither "brand new here" nor have I not been paying attention. In fact, it's because I'm not new here and have been paying attention that I'm so angry and disheartened by the hateful things people like you say. You'd think after reading hundreds of comments like yours I'd no longer be "Shocked," but it's people like you that continue to rattle my faith in the ability of people to be good, decent people.

And finally, if anyone will need therapy, it will be your offspring for having a parental figure in their lives such as yourself.

Anonymous said...

Seems to me 'Shocked' should reread the original post ... and then reread the post above Cali mom (@ 3:35) ... then maybe she'll have a clue.
Right on, Cali mom!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 6:49 am:

are you saying statements like this are acceptable? you condone that type of statement? yes or no?

"At least we know they can recognize all the letters of the alphabet on the keyboard, although they are obviously confounded by all those confusing punctuation keys and don't understand the concept of Initial Caps. I guess someone "toughened them up" in their sad childhood."

mom said...

Cali moms response was a commentary on both the nanny who did this to the child (original post), the idiot who suggested that laughiing at kids when they get hurt toughens them up, and those nannies who routinely come on here and defend the horrible nannies who do these things.

Unless you are one of these people, you need not take offense.

To those that are, her definition aptly applies.

Anonymous said...

7:46
Answer: a resounding yes.
Why? Because I could give a shit that people like them should be offended?

Anonymous said...

"people like them"--you disgust me.

take a hard look at your sorry life and get a clue.

Anonymous said...

9:35
Does it disgust you because you know it's "people like you?"

Don't hate the messenger.

Steve said...

people like me?

i am a single male with no children who has compassion for all people, no matter what race, class status, etc. who read about this ridiculous site on the NY Times and was astounded to find such vile people out there spewing their venom under the cloak of anonymity.

But anyway, i'm out of here, its a waste of my time...but I'll just leave you with this:

"Your current troubles, and you know, they'll get much worse
I hope you know how much you enjoy them
You're a pig of a person, If there's a justice in this world
hey, how about that
Your lack of conscience and your lack of morality
well, more and more people know all about it"--Lou Reed, 1978.

Still Shocked said...

It seems as though *all* of you have spent too much time on this hateful site, and it has muddled your ability to look at your own behavior objectively, so let me break it down for you:

It is one thing to object to a person's childcare skills or abilities. Note that I have not *once* stated that I think laughing at children is appropriate. It is quite another thing to throw around hateful slurs like Calimom did, and which most of you have now condoned the use of. *That* is what I took objection to, but everyone's logic and thinking abilities seem to have taken the day off.

I think one of the scariest things about this site is that mothers like the ones I have encountered will spend hours of their time spewing out hateful comments about nannies laughing at children, while the doubtless much greater harm in the long run is having a parent who views the world and the people who work for them with skepticism, anger, and hate. *That*, in time, will do much more harm to their children.

lc said...

Steve,
Who are you kidding?
You're in love with another man's woman & trying desperately to score booty priviliges.

Some even claim that I'm a terror, a dictator and they're right.
-Lou Reed

Anonymous said...

"We got some pretty good chemistry here. We got some toughness, and it's starting to show.”
-Lou Piniella (on ISYN?)

AMY said...

What obvious to me is that the mothers in NYC have serious issues! Employers/nannies don't behave like this anywhere else I have been! It's pathetic. You CHOOSE to hire uneducated/inexperienced women to care for your children HOPING it will end in disaster to keep your insecurities about being an inadequate parent a secondary focus.

The fact is, confident, secure, GOOD mothers who hire nannies- hire the BEST and think of themselves last. I have NEVER encountered ANY of this negativity (and I have lived in Norcal, Socal, Upstate NY and FL) anywhere else! I look around and I don't see nannies like described on here. The biggest infraction I have ever witnessed was a nanny talking on her cell too much at the playground and after several minutes of dirty looks from the rest of us she promptly hung up! You people have your priorities seriously out of order and I feel badly for the children involved.

What I think of a mom who hires an immigrant nanny who has no education, barely speaks English and takes poor care of her charges? I think what kind of mother would hire someone like that to care for their kids? She either was A: desperate enough to risk the well being of her children to save a few bucks or B: SO insecure that you need to hire incompetent people and risk the well being of your children so that you can maintain absolute control and feed your ego.

Pathetic.

pasadenamom said...

rightly said, 'still shocked' and 'amy'. i'm a californiia mom myself, and no-not like cali mom. i haven't seen any neglect or any form of abuse from nannies, here in pasadena or any of the other neighboring cities. trust me, my son and i go everywhere.

all you ladies (and i say this with good intention) just need to take a deep breath and relax a bit. no need to get yourselves worked up for silly reasons.

pasadenamom said...

ps....no, it's not right to laugh at a poor child who has fallen off the street curb. that nanny was cruel to further humiliate that darling child like that. she'll get hers in due time.

ad said...

Amy,
I concur 100 percent. I live in Westchester County and most of the people I know intimately are affluent. Any one of them could afford to hire the very best caliber of nanny and yet only a fraction do. I think the mothers take comfort in the stone, unfeeling faces of these women who stand out by the color of their skin as "the help". I mean, how esle could you explain it?

jackie said...

It's NYC, the moms there hire unqualified, uneducated, immig., non-english speaking "nannies" who mistreat children. Then they complain? wow........

Anonymous said...

I have a frenemy who finished her Benetton type tour of nannies by hiring a used car salesperson she met on the street to work as her nanny. Judge me not, I stay home with my children.

G.K. said...

I live in NYC and I hired the best I could find! Took 2 months! My nanny has a degree in elem. ed., speaks 3 lang., is from CA & she is terrific in every way. I concider her a close friend and trust her! I don't expect her to ever be on this site lol! I find Amy's post true, sadly... MOST of the women I know hire the worst so they can still feel valuable when it all falls apart. It IS pathetic that they use their children like that but not surprising when you concider the kind of people who do this. I want the best for my children and am not threatened in the least because I am an excellent mother. I wish these women would get it together- there might then be little need for a site like this :(

mom said...

Do you really think mothers hire poor quality childcare to make them feel better about themselves? I have never heard of this. I really hope it isn't true because that would be the most pathetic thing I have heard...maybe EVER!

I really can't even imagine...even Charles manson doing a thing like that. Maybe its just one of those vicious stereotypes.

Anonymous said...

Interesting. Interesting.
When your children look back at their lives, they are going to realize that mommy put them first by hiring the best. And they will love you even more for it.

I'm not anti nanny. I'm pro great nanny. They are harder to find but worth every ounce of effort you expend.

vi said...

955-
your kidding, right?
the mcmansions are filled to the brink with the very worst class of nanny. broken english. unable to smile. grim disposition. But having them around makes these psuedo mothers feel happy.
Oh new money, you can't buy class.
(Just watch Cribs).

Old money is much more likely to hire a real nanny.

Anonymous said...

I gotta say, I've not encountered a 'crappy' nanny where I'm from either. I'm sure alot of it has to do with N.Y. being so condensed? Dunno. But I would love to hear what everyone here thinks is the real reason these workforce mommies hire such sub-standard nannys? My guess? Trying to save a few bucks. One thing I do know for sure ... uber-rich ppl are usually the lousiest tippers! Middle-class are welcome in establishment anytime!

mom said...

I wonder if people hire nannies based on what the norm is for that area and don't look beyond that?
I live in Texas. (Dallas County...in a nice area.) People here seem to hire exclusively Mexican nannies...and clearly untrained. They sit in the parks in groups, having a good time among themselves and completely ignoring the kids they are watching. When they do interact with the kids, it seems to be mostly angrily, alhthough I guess this only from the tone, as I do not speak Spanish. It is not at all uncommon to see them pulling kids harshly by the arms, yelling at them, or swatting at them. I wonder if the moms have any idea. It is impossible to imagine that these nannies are capable of pulling the wool over anybody's eyes if they spent any time around them at all. Their kids are different than the other kids in terms of how happy they seem and how well they get along with the other kids...and eventually how they act and succeed in school. That ought to be a clue...if they spend enough time around their own (and other) kids even to notice the differentc. I wonder if they even realize that some parents go to school conferences and hear that their children are doing well, are well adjusted and well mannered, and get along nicely with the other children? I wonder if they think having consistent discipline problems in school is normal kid behavior. Maybe they just think all kids are whiney and unmotivated by life, and have no idea that a child who is loved and adequately stimulated is usually very curious, eager, happy and kind.

I also saw a lot of this in California. (Orange County. Nice area also. No reason for anybody to be cheap in either of the places I have witnessed this.)

Upstate Mom said...

This site is supposed to report "bad" nanny sitings, yet half the bloggers bash the working mother after a nanny turns out to not be so good. What's the problem here? If all nanny's were bad, and all working parents idiots and/or too cheap to hire someone better....there'd be a lot more reports. In NYC, with the tons of apartments, there might be 50 nannys per building. Yet, there is one or two added reports a day. I am glad we can try to recongize the bad ones, but stop beating up the working moms. They might not be rich, but they hire a private nanny to avoid the crowded daycares!! (or whatever). Prejudice and bias doesn't belong here.

mom said...

I think it seems that way because some of us moms come on here and see what happens to some of these kids, and it is so unthinkable to us that anybody might treat our dear children so terribly. So we think, "How can I make sure nothing like this EVER happens to my children?" And so we start to think. And the first thought is, "I will be the one who raises them and takes them to all of these places and watches over them so that nobody can do these things to them." It's pretty simple. But then it is also a fact that most moms who are stay at homes are SAHMs for the fact that they LOVE children...and when you really love a child, it somehow makes you love all children. And so, even though our own may be safe, we cannot help but be very distressed for these children we read about. So we think, "How can these children be safe from all of these bad things we read are happening to them?" Again, the answer is simple..."keep them safe in the loving care of a mommy or daddy who loves them dearly and will protect them from these types of people." But their mommies and daddies won't take the time to do it. Some of their parents don't even care enough to bother to find out where their children spend their days or how they are treated...and so we are sad and frustrated...and yes, sometimes angry.
It is so completely unthinkable to me that a mother would choose to let another woman raise her child for her. Even if the other woman was a perfect nanny. I cannot imagine. I really cannot.

cali mom said...

Wow. Shocked, tried, but the more you type the more it's apparent you're just too stupid to understandI say anything, so go sulk all you want. I don't feel sorry for you, you deserve all your misery.

Mom and all others who can follow a conversation, thanks for trying to help "shocked" understand. Even though it's like trying to teach a pig to fly.

cali mom (aka astounded) said...

Well, perhaps Shocked is laboring under the misconcepption that I am an uber rich nanny employer in Bev Hills or something, and that's why so much of her bitterness is showing.

The vast majority of the nannies I see around my neighborhood are excellent. I assume they get along very well with their employers, but maybe it's only the kids they love. I may write a good nanny sighting about one or 2 later tonight.

Anonymous said...

my sisters montessori class in Fremont CA has 70 kids! 2.5-3.9 yrs old! WTF! I don't care if there are 2 teachers and 2 assistants and if the place is HUGE, that's crazy....

Anonymous said...

Anyone familiar with the H.I.P.A. law and a person's legal right to privacy regarding their own health status?