Saturday

Patricia from El Salvador (In Beverly Hills, CA)

Saturday, October 6, 2007- Rant & Warning
I already posted this on Peachhead, so some of you may already have read this. But those who haven't....please do.I don't even know where to begin on this one. And I feel so stupid writing this email. But I feel that it is IMPERATIVE that I do and that I warn any of you out there looking for a nanny or who have a nanny now.5 months ago, when our twins were 2 months old, we found a woman who we thought was a godsend. The most wonderful nanny. She was so loving with our kids, experienced with twins, she was legal, she spoke English, she drove, she took them to such great places. I checked all of her many references & no one had one bad thing to say about her.Yesterday we found out that for the last 4 months she has been dropping our beautiful, precious children off at some random, unlicensed "daycare" & going off for the whole day to work either at other families' homes or at the farmer's market (or run errands or whatever). We had to call the police to get our children out of this place because the woman wouldn't open the door for us. It was a nightmare experience. It turns out, as I said, they had been there for 4 months. The twins she watched prior to coming to work for us had been drooped off there for FIVE YEARS! She was dropping off many other children over the years. But according to the woman who ran the place, our nanny was "such a good person" because she only made $60 a day (TOTALLY UNTRUE) & she was paying this woman $30 a day to watch these kids! OH MY GOD!Anyway, this is way more detailed than I had intended but I almost can't stop myself. I am so afraid for any of you out there that may come in contact with her because she is a MASTER manipulator as far as I am concerned. A total sociopath. I never ONCE suspected anything & we are NOT stupid people (despite what you may be thinking) & we ADORE our children. I am crying just writing this email.Anyway, I have a lot of information about this woman but don't think I should necessarily post it all here. PLEASE, if you, anyone you know, has a nanny named Patricia from El Salvador or you ever interview a nanny named Patricia....stay FAR AWAY. We live near The Grove so she seems to work mostly East of the Beverly Center but I have no idea. Please pass this on to anyone you know. I do not want anyone to suffer what we are suffering. Our kids seem to be OK, but I can't sleep or eat thinking about what could have happened to them. Sorry this is so long. If anyone thinks they might know this woman or she might be working for you, please email me off line.

55 comments:

Jane Doe said...

OP-
Please contact Jane Doe directly at isawyournanny@aol.com and provide your contact information so that she can pass it on to anyone else who knows or has associations with this Patricia from El Salvador.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for posting this -- you are doing a real service to other parents, children and the good nannies who care about them.

Anonymous said...

Wow, unbelievable!! I am sorry this happened to you!! What nerve on her part. Can I ask you something? Just wondering when kids start daycare, they usually get sick alot. Did your babies get sick alot? If so she probably had an excuse for that I am sure.

Did she get arrested, because wouldn't it be considered theft by deception, and also abandoment? Leaving the children with someone else?

I hope she did jail time! But it sounds like she hasn't.

Thank you for warning us. So let me ask what are you doing for childcare now?

TX Nanny said...

I'm just curious how you found out she was doing that.Hopefully by dropping in on her. I am a nanny and I believe strongly that parents should come home early occasionally and check up on their nannies. I'm so sorry this awful person did this to you, I can't even imagine how betrayed you must feel.

Anonymous said...

This makes me so angry. I'm glad you found out before something terrible happened. It sounds like the daycare woman was fully aware of what she was doing, which just compounds the evil. I hope you can take some kind of legal action against both of them.
UES Nanny

Anonymous said...

I agree with 9:45

They were both deceptive. I wonder if other children were being dropped off with this daycare provider

Anonymous said...

Its 10:01

Just realized other children were being dropped off as well.

Sorry, I didn't read that part.

Anonymous said...

how did you find out O.P.??? Did someone see your nanny out by herself, when she was supposed to be taking care of the kids.

Anonymous said...

I'm not so sure the daycare woman knew what she was doing.

I have worked at an in-home daycare, and if someone came to pick up the children and we had never met them, they were locked out and the childs parents were called.

The nanny could have been lying to the daycare provider, and she could have been unaware of who the OP was.

Anonymous said...

I am not a violent person, but after reading this, I feel I'd like to do something to Patricia...
something painful.
She belongs in prison. For a very long time at that-

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for this very traumatic event your famliy has gone through. Don't beat yourself up- this woman sounds like a real sick person and you would have to be that sick to in your wildest dreams even suspect that this is going on. The woman that was out sourced out to watch your kids could probably get is some real trouble- you might want to think about going forward in pressing charges to out her to other famlies che might be dealing with. Please don't be hard on yourself, that scenerio would be the LAST thing any parent would suspect. Take care.

maggie said...

Patricia was probably pulling in over a thousand tax free dollars per week with her nanny scam.

However, if your children who were supposed to have been watched in your home were away at a daycare for four months, I call your parental responsibility in to question. There must be some correlation to the depletion of the ozone layer and the withering away of any semblance of maternal instinct in so many mothers these days.

t.r. said...

There may be other Patricias out there.

The Tampa Bay paper had a spot on you today. In case you would like to add the article to your press coverage on the Index. I love the new banner.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Many families with infants do not allow the nanny to travel anywhere for the first six months of the job, and/or until the babies are old enough to handle the germs of everyday life and appreciate (not sleep through) the beneficial child-related outings.
How would this woman manage to get things done around the house for you if she was gone all day? Ie: children's laundry, dishes, etc.

Anonymous said...

further: if you have a housekeeper that does the laundry, etc, then ask the housekeeper about what goes on during the day between the nanny and children.
At first I agreed with Maggie that there must have been a lack of maternal instinct, but now I'm thinking maybe you are too trusting and could just have a big heart to think someone would be so manipulative.

Anonymous said...

The daycare provider clearly knew what the nanny was doing. She said she was getting $30, out of the $60 the nanny told her the parents were paying her.

Anonymous said...

Maggie, I have to agree with you 100%. I was thinking the same thing. I am sure I would notice something was not quite right with my children long before four months had passed. What about these other kids who were suposedly taken there for five years! The parents have to be somewhat accountable.

Anonymous said...

I am a nanny myself. I cannot imagine anyone doing this. This is unbelievable that someone can do this and get away with it for so long.
I would of press charges against her and the day care.

bs said...

I usually find Maggie to be offensive, but she is correct. A mother with young twins and you had no idea where they were for four months. For a nanny to pull something like that, she would have to be comfortable that you were sufficiently detatched from your children or life at home. Hope your job is worth it.

anonymous 1 said...

I think Maggie is a former nanny who got fired for being a drunk. Just a hunch.

kelly said...

OP, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. It is beyond deception what Patricia did to you and your kids, having you think that the kids were being taken care of, when in fact she was treating them like drop off laundry. Are you taking legal action? Also, you may be able to call immigration 1-800-375- 5283. That is just sickening. Please keep us updated.

sammy said...

This story is horrible and I'm very sorry it happened to you. But if I can offer you some advice, I wouldn't post any more personal information about this woman on this site or others because any lawyer would advise you not to: it may hurt your case.
Definitely take this piece of trash to court and take her for every penny she has.
It sounds like you are a good mother, but this should be a lesson to all working parents with nannies to drop in back home now and then to check on your kids and see what the nanny is doing. This story is so crazy to me because I used to be a nanny to twins and the parents treated me like crap and had a problem with everything I did even though I took great care of the kids and never let them out of my sight for an instant: they never got hurt and were always happy throughout the day. Sounds like you got taken, really taken by someone you trusted and my heart goes out to you.

Anonymous said...

How many of these stories have to be posted before people get a clue and stay home with their own children? Does everyone really think "not my nanny"? Are people really that greedy for money that they would risk their children like this?

And how little communication does someone have with their own child that the kid is being dropped off at a daycare every day for 5 YEARS and the parents didn't know about it? The child never mentioned someone else who was looking after them?

Anonymous said...

7:56,
An infant or toddler cannot be expected to tell the parents that this is going on, although I do agree that more mothers should be more on top of what is going on with their caregivers. Was the nanny in question keeping a daily log? If not, she should have been. I don't know that I buy the story entirely, it may be a troll. I agree that a 4 or 5 year old should have been communicating more with their parents about the events of the day.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry this happened to you. I come home early every now and again and usually find my nanny playing with my dd. I hope your twins are ok. What city/town did this happen in?

Anonymous said...

Stop being so hard on the Mom. When I first went to nanny care I was also naive and trusting enough to believed that a professional nanny was worthy of the same respect and trust as any other professional. Who would be twisted enough to think a nanny could do something as deceptive as this? Only after going through several "professional" nannies, did I find one that warrants the title. I've learned through bad experiences that just because someone has given themselves the title and has references (which can be falsified), they really are a childcare professional. There are a lot of liars and actors out there who put on a good show whenever the parents are around. The only way to catch the deceivers are showing up unexpectedly at various times to make sure what you think your nanny is doing with your kids is what's happening. That means being willing to disrupt the children's and nannies routine. (Or I guess you could install a nannycam--but I can't bring myself to tape someone without them knowing--afterall, there are good professional nannies out there who don't deserve treatment like that--you just have to sort through and keep trying until you fine one). It's a sad state of affairs, that this is what childcare has come to when parents can't trust people in a profession that should be helping, not hurting children. Both the nanny and the daycare provider should be jailed.

anonymous1 said...

This nanny is a criminal and criminals have MO's. Her scheme was probably to care for toddlers unable to communicate what was going on to their parents. Who knows what lies she had ready to go in case suspicion arose. This was a well thought out plan and executed for the sole purpose of making money off of unsuspecting parents.

nanny dana from philly said...

Just scary. Scary Scary Scary. I'm a nanny and I would NEVER drop my charge off to someone else. I have a great relationship with my "mom" and "dad" that I work for, as well as a strong bond with the entire family. They have helped me through so much in my life. They don't mind even if I bring the child to my own house sometimes..and I would never even leave their child sitting her with my husband if I had to run to the store. He comes with my everywhere.

This Patricia..scary.

Anonymous said...

Are you quite certain that this is real and that Patricia is not being outed as a result of a lesbian fornication turned sour?

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

Anonymous said...

I am curious as to where you found this Patricia from El Salvador. Did she come from a reputable agency that gave you references to check? And did you check every one of those references?
I don't really understand how a mom of newborns can even bring herself to turn them over to a stranger, unless you are a single mom and have no other choice. But your post indicates that you are not alone. How can it be that both you and your husband are willing to abdicate responsibility for your helpless children? And you had a near tragedy. I hope it was the wake up call you needed. Since nothing bad happened to your children, this might end up being the best thing that ever happened to your family...if you are willing to learn from it.

I made sure that none of the things that I see here on this website happened to any of my children. They were never with anybody I didn't know, they never played at the park covered in excrement, they were never left alone outside a public bathroom for 10 minutes, they were never entrusted to the care of a stranger in Starbucks, nobody yanked by their hair or dragged them by the arms or screamed at them for no particular reason. Nobody has come into my home and tried on all my clothes, drunk my liquor, emptied my refrigerator, stolen my money, checked in all of my drawers,or any of the other things people are accusing their nannies of here. Why? because I raise my own kids. And you know what? It's a real blessing and a privelege. There is nothing like watching life unfold through a child's eyes. You have been given the chance to be blessed in a way that nobody can possibly describe. Please don't let it go by, wasted.

PS And it's not because I can't afford childcare that I raise my own kids. I have a beautiful home, drive a nice car and have enough money to afford the best nanny. But I love my kids too much to let them grow up without being there to watch and help them grow. Early on, we didn't have a lot of money, but I was NEVER tempted even then to leave them so we could afford a bigger house, better car, or more clothes. "Things" may last forever, but children don't. There are not words for me to emphasize this strongly enough.

Anonymous said...

Wow, the perfect mom in her perfect ivory tower.

Who are you to judge someone else's life?

There are many many MANY great nannies and babysitters in the world. The events that are listed on this blog are the exception not the rule. And, what a great place to find out about the exceptions.

Since you are not a nanny nor a parent employing a nanny, you are just here to judge and feel superior - seems like a waste of time for such an involved stay-at-home mom.

Anonymous said...

Gee, you sound bitter. So, what tweaked your guilt button? Just opinions here. No need to get defensive. But,if something said gets you excessively upset (you seem inapropriately angry in relation to what was posted), it might be a good idea for you to explore why that is.

Are you leaving your children excessivley and feeling a little bit guilty? Do my comments make it too hard for you to hold onto the things you have been saying to yourself to rationalize? That's the whole point. And if your hackles are raised, it means you probably do want better for your kids...that's a GOOD thing. Make the step and be a mom to your kids.
You may be mad at me now (a little pointless since we are strangers), but you will be thankful later.

I just really like kids. I want the best for them. And I think there are a lot of moms who don't realize what a blessing kids are. This lady could easily have had a tragedy with her twins. She has a second chance, and I hope she takes it.
That's my opinion. And, by the way, thats' what a blog IS.

Anonymous said...

Dear 11:20,
The last poster is right. You sound a bit whacked.
She didn't respond to the most important part of your rant though. You say that these bad nanny postings are the exception and not the rule. I am sorry to tell you that you are very, very wrong. There are some very good nannies, but THEY are the exception.
I spend hours and hours at the park with my daughter. I could write a bad nanny report almost every single day! I doubt that any of the people whose children I see being treated so shamefully have any idea thet THEIR nanny is one of the bad ones. It is very rare that I see an attentive nanny playing with and tending adequately to a child. Mostly they sit around ignoring them. Some are plain mean and nasty to the children and treat them like a nuisance when they need any attention at all. I see kids that could easily be kidnapped because their nanny is not watching. I see these things almost every day. I think the lady is right. I think people have no idea how many nannies are mean and nasty to their kids.

vi said...

All you anonymous people need to cough up a ball and pick a moniker.

Step by step instructions on how to submit a comment that isn't "anonymous"

1) Instead of clicking "anonymous", click "other" and type in anything you want. It can be a number.


Yes, a blog is all about opinion, as anonymous stated, but how can I engage in a dialogue without a name or moniker?

11:20 here said...

Not angry - just put off by yet another SAHM judging WOHMs.
I have a really great nanny - great with both of my kids. I am a salesperson and drop in at home all the time - so, I see her in action. So, I find it hard to believe that I am the only mother who can find a good nanny.
This whole "raise your own kids" thing is tiresome. I am raising my children. My nanny is a wonderful teacher and caregiver but, she is not the mother.
I find this blog informative. I think I am a better employer because of it. But, the "I am a better mom than you" chatter is old.

Disgusted said...

There, I picked a moniker. I didn't know you could do that.

Anyway, what makes me really sick is that in most situations, people with private nannies could afford to stay home with their own kids. They might not be able to afford their lavish lifestyle, but they would be making sure their kids were okay.

In my opinion, someone who leaves their baby with a nanny is the same as someone who leaves their baby with any random stranger. You don't know the person you hired from the agency or off Craigs List. Alot of people won't valet their car because they don't want a stranger driving it, but they'll leave their baby with anyone who passes a background check and has some references.

When I chose to stay home with my own kids, I was amazed how many neighbors and friends hit me up to babysit their child full time as well. And they always wanted to pay me like $100 a week. Your babysitter bill should be at least as much as your car payment.

Anonymous said...

The name of this site should be changed to "Working moms are bad"

mom said...

Everybody who employs a nanny or babysitter needs to visit childcaregonewrong.com immediately.
I doubt any of these parents anticipated what happened to their children either.
After all, it always happens to "Somebody Else."

mattie said...

I feel that a young child should be with their mother. If at all possible. I wish I didn't have to work. I work from home at a job I don't really like because it allows me to be with my daughter. I wish I had the money to not have to work but it's just impossible: my husband and I are working class. If I had the money I would stay home and not hire a nanny. The moms who can afford to stay home and don't deserve what they get. No job is more important than your baby.
I don't mean to offend anyone, but I call it like I see it: if you have a full time nanny, you are not the one raising your kids. You might like to think you are, but you are mistaken.

Anonymous said...

11:57 is very wise. I hope you find a way very soon to get your wish and not have to work at all. Bless you for sacrificing to do the next best thing for now.
It breaks my heart that moms who are like you and wish above all to be full time mommies can't...and that others simply throw away the wonderful opportunity they are given to raise their own children.

cali mom said...

Ditto to the last 2 comments.

As for 9:51 and the hypothesis about "lesbian fornication"...wow! Paranoid much, or were you joking, in response to some of the really idiotic posts we see here every day?

Now to the original post, this is awful and the woman should be prosecuted to the fullest extent. I simply cannot imagine however, how parents of a child who had been going to this "daycare" for 5 YEARS could be completely unaware of it????????? Don't most 5 year olds know how to talk? Don't most 5 year olds (hell, even most 3 year olds!) talk about EVERYTHING, naming names, telling stories, re-enacting experiences, describing everything they observe? Unless the 5 year old spoke a different langueage than the parents or was communicatively disabled in some way, I just can't see hould how this could happen with the parents being completely oblivious to it.

And the sad opinion that good nannies are the exception to the rule? I could post a GOOD nanny sighting every day. Maybe most nannies in my neighborhood are better than average, but I see them all day playing with babies and toddlers, kissing them, hugging them, smiling, singing, talking, changing diapers, interacting and CARING FOR the children. This is more than I can say about the parents of those children.

Anonymous said...

Mothers with nannies should have their children taken away.

Meme said...

Wow, 4:17-I am the first one to say that if I a mom (or dad) is able to stay home and raise their own kids, they should, but your suggestion is more than a bit harsh. Jeez!

kelly said...

4:17, what are you smoking? Is it too much for you that we have entered a century where women can finally make major decisions. You need to slime your way back into the sea.

Anonymous said...

There are mothers and fathers out there who have to work, whether they like it or not. Divorce, death in the family, economic hardships etc. Maybe you live in a perfect world, but not everyone does. Better to get a great nanny and go to work, than to be stuck on the bottom of the socioeconomic pyramid with no health insurance, living in a bad neighborhood, in a bad school district, getting food stamps, no 401K, and nobody to pay the kids' college tuition.

Cristina said...

I, for one, disagree with Maggie and am disgusted that anyone would be blaming this woman for what Patricia did. For all we know, the OP may have just started a new job and was not afforded the luxury of taking an early day. She could be working a grueling job, or maybe it was a time of the year when her workload temporarily increased. Maybe her commute was especially long. We have no idea why she chose to hire a nanny to watch her children and why she didn't find out about the scam for four months, so it's not anybody's right to judge her character, parenting skills, and level of responsibility! To imply that she has little maternal instinct because another person whom she trusted took advantage of her is downright wrong.

TEreads said...

You know, it's an interesting discussion, but not everyone is built the same way. There are mothers who love their children and want to be with them all the time and raise them personally and there are mothers who love their children, but aren't suited to full time parenting and prefer to work outside the home in addition to parenting.
It's a shame when we are deceived by bad babysitters but babysitters and nannies are a necessity now (for stay at home moms as well -- we all need some personal time if possible). Let's not trash each other for our personal choices about how to raise our children, whether those choices are based on economic necessity, personal preference or just plain emotional needs (yes, some parents NEED to work outside the home for their emotional health).
By the way, I am a stay-at-home mother who would never presume to judge a parent who chooses or has to work outside the home. Everyone's built differently. And I've always tried to have a babysitter once or twice a week so I could have some time to myself.

MB Rye, NY said...

Hire professional nannies and you won't have any patricias. If you use an agency, make sure it is a reputable agency, so you dont have someone dress an Eva in silk clothing and try and sell her as a nanny. Children are being put in very dangerous positions by these nanny knock-offs.

Anonymous said...

Tereads, Really?

Not suited emotionally to parent?
NEED to work outside the home for mental health reasons? (Although I suspect "mental health reasons" here is just a denial-type term for "Don't like to spend a lot of time around children.")

Here's a suggestion: If you are this selfish, narcissistic, messed up emotionally..or simply don't care that much for children. DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. Or, give them immediately at birth to one of the thousands of families who are unable to have children, but would give anything in the world to be able to lovingly raise a child. Don't pay a substitiute mommy while you are out catering to your emotional imperfections, whims,personal fulfillment,or whatever. If you don't want to raise them, give them to a cargiver who will provide a lifetime of love, not just until their employment runs out. You'll save a boatload of money, which you can later use to pamper yourself in lavish style, and your child will have a chance at growing up in a decent,loving family, with parents who actually like to be with him.

You know, I had a similar dilemma not that long ago. I really don't care much for cats. I don't hate them, but I don't prefer them, and I think they make the house smell. So I ponderd for a very long time what to do about this dilemma. Should I just put all of my cats outside and leave them there? Should I then at least build some sort of enclosure so they could escape extreme weather situations? Or should I save the money and do something nice for myself instead...because I work hard and deserve a little pampering? Should I feed them myself in the mornings, or simply ask my maid to do it for me as one of her regular duties. Then I had a brainstorm, "I don't even HAVE to buy any cats at all!" What a relief! All of those cats I didn't buy are likely having nice lives with people who love cats, and I am not bothered with the smell or expense of creatures I would consider mostly a nuisance and a financial drain.
The worls is overpopulated already. Parents are becoming less and less involved, believeing that they can have it all and do it all. Look at the state of our youth in this country. Increasingly angry, violent, unmotivated and lacking in self respect. Do you somehow imagine that this is a coincidence? They have learned to abdicate responsibility and justify their poor and/or selfish decisions, just as their parents have taught them by example.

hj said...

116-
sadly i know many of people who "got cats" and remind the cats everyday just how much they hate cats.

Anonymous said...

1:16PM,
Sorry, but ask any mental health professional and you will find out that there are some parents who (and they find this out AFTER having their babies) need to be out of the home not engaged in childcare or they become a danger to themselves and/or their children. Andrea Yates?
Besides, isn't it each person's right to decide how they want to parent?
The Clintons raised a lovely person while holding down full time jobs (just one example).

cali mom said...

1:16 sounds fairly angry, violent, unmotivated and lacking in self respect. Maybe her parents were some of those disgusting vile creatures who felt they needed insane luxuries like medical insurance and groceries, and all at the expense of their poor child who is obviously suffering some deep emotional consequences. From the inane and insane comparisons attempted in this rant to someone deciding not to buy cats, I'd bet $$$$$$ this IS the same anti-abortion/pro goldfish screamer.

Now here's a third view on the overdone topic at hand: DADS should be willing to take up a few hours a week, at least of evening time, for SAHM moms to have a bit of alone time. Mom goes out to do the workout, meet a friend, go shopping alone, whatever. Dad makes the dinner and is...A DADDY for the evening. Many do, but since no mention has been made of them so far in all the raging debate, I think it bears a mention. As for single parents, why NOT have a baysitter a few hours a week, or a FT caregiver as needed? Or does 1:16 think that we just click our heels together and the Money Fairy appears with rent $, grocery $, medical bills $, school supplies $, diaper $, etc etc? Some people cannot even GET private medical insurance for any amount of money and HAVE to be part of a group plan to get accepted.

I'm all for PARENTS doing the majority of caregiving whenever POSSIBLE, but this constant hysterical screeching just goes to prove that some people will grow up with serious issues whether it was their parents or a paid caregiver that took care of them most.

Anonymous said...

1;16 here. I have nothing but respect for parents who HAVE to work, and do so, in order to provide the basic necessities for their kids.
But people who feel guilty and need to justify their position, often resort to proposing extreme scenarios to justify their position.

And if one parent is unfit to be around children, why can't the other parent make stay home...even if it is Dad. dad must have realized at some point before children arrived that wifey was a bit unbalanced/ selfish/non-nurtuting, etc. Time for him to step up and take responsibility for what he has done...made children with a fruit loop.

Or, take the kids away before harm comes to them. If a parent is going to harm or kill her children if she can't have a job, I really doubt she's going to be a decent parent after 5:00pm either. Use some common sense people.

The Clintons? That's your argument FOR hired childcare. Two of the most morally bankrupt individuals walking the planet? Thank goodness their daughter wasn't in their care. She might have picked up some bad habits, like murder, corruption, lying, adultery, hypocrisy, just to name the first few that come to mind...

Actually, you're right. Their sweet daughter is better for all of the time they DIDN'T spend with her! Kudos to her nanny!

Anonymous said...

Thanks 1:16. I have your number now.

cali mom said...

Yep, 1:16 sounds like the product of a meth addicted coal mining bible thumping consanguinating pair with 8 brain cells on their very stunted family tree. She better stop yapping on and trying to drag politiics into her every post and go back to reading Ann Coulter before everyone runs her off the board. Or just starts ignoring her.