Received Thursday, October 25, 2007
I saw your nanny exiting the subway in Tribeca up on to Franklin Street. She was dialing on her phone as she headed to the top steps. Not an unusual site. An Asian child dressed in a navy blue rain slicker (designed like a pea coat) and with a bob of shiny hair with bangs and sweet face came up two steps behind her. Nanny was listening on phone for dial tone and child kept going. Nanny turns left and child is now in the street having followed a man in a black coat. Your nanny wore a black coat too. Child followed man in street diagonally and entered cross walk about twenty feet from the curb. Man feels child on his heels, turns around and says to the effect of "whoa" and looks around as he ushers child straight back to the curb. The nanny is still on the other side of the subway exit but she has looked up and she comes running over. She apologizes to the man and says thank you. Yes, it ended well, but your nanny is a slouch.
This nanny was African American with a bun on top of her head. It may have been clip on hair. Her jacket was black and had a nylon/ rain proof texture. She was also carrying a small (mini) black and red backpack over her shoulder.
Suggestion: I pay for my nanny's cell phone and she has unlimited minutes. The only condition is she not use it except for emergencies while out with the child. And I get the bill, so I know who she is calling and when.
44 comments:
OP that is a great idea about the cell phone. I haven't had any issues but, that sounds liek a really good practice.
Yeah! Check up on that nanny! Monitor her phone calls! Snakes alive! Just because you pay a woman peanuts to muck-out your kids doesn't give you control over her 24/7
you treat your nannies like slaves
what if the nanny was calling the parent of the child. But no matter what the child should be monotered at all times.
"What if the nanny was calling the parent"
If she was my nanny, she would still be fired. Hold the kids damn hand. Stop on the sidewalk off to the side. Stop excusing shitty nannies. You are ENABLING them to go about their shitty business.
Even if you give your nanny a cell phone she can still use her own. How do you know if the nanny was not trying to call the mother or father....
Who cares if she was calling the pope - her charge was following a stranger across the street.
If she had to call someone, she should have the child next to her. Holding her hand or sitting down on a bench or chair. No excuse. New York is busy she could have lost her in the crowd. Or that man, if he was evil could have just walked off with her. Then what? Do you think well its okay she was trying to call the parents?
Yeah, she should have been holding the child's hand, but, please, monitor your nannies calls all of the time just to ease your mind-especially if you pay for it, but I pray to God she has her own hone so that she doesn't feel like she's in jail or 11 years old.
Parents crack me up complaining about a nanny's behavior when they do the exact same thing or worse.
Also, don't assume just because a lot of black people wear hair extensions, that hers was fake. Everyone wears them now, so I guess it's safe to say that all people we post about had hair-but it could have been a clip-on.
re:
Also, don't assume just because a lot of black people wear hair extensions, that hers was fake. Everyone wears them now, so I guess it's safe to say that all people we post about had hair-but it could have been a clip-on.
I am the OP. Her hair, the air specific to this singular woman appeared to be a clip on. Evident was a black 'banana style' clip and the hair color did not match the hair color on her scalp.
But, I am pleased to see you came away with THIS from my post. Never mind that a strange man saved this child from what could have been certain death. Never mind that. Never mind that the nanny didn't hold the child, have the child in her site or realize the child went in a different direction.
Oh heaven's no. What is important is your agenda. However misguided it is.
And I don't monitor my nanny's cell phone calls. She has an unlimited plan and can call anytime anywhere she wants. When we got her the plan and let her pick out the phone, we explained we were happy to do so but that in exchange she should not make non emergency calls while out with my child. I know for a fact that she speaks to people during the day because I work from home 1x a day. But she does it while she is at home with my dc. I appreciate that she doesn't take advantage but she feels comfortable and she should to make calls during the course of a day.
This is not a true report.
I've never seen an asian parent hire a black nanny. Never. Especially in Tribeca, which is close to Chinatown.
Asian parents would prefer their child be nannied by a Chinese speaker. So they can be close to the language and culture.
Nice try, troll... but you're not believable.
No one seems to think nannies are human. This woman could be a fabulous nanny having a bad moment. Yes, it was dangerous, and its lucky it turned out the way it did... but fired immediately? cell phone monitored? give me a break
Yes, she could be a fabulous nanny having a bad moment. However, as an average mom with more than a few bad moments, I can say that this
particular situation has never happened to me. Yes, it is probably luck, but I were this nanny's employer, I would definitely take this as a serious warning.
"I've never seen an Asian parent hire a black nanny. Never. Especially in Tribeca, which is close to Chinatown."
Not true. But I wish ALL of these New York, NY parents would just keep their kids really close to home when they are not watching/raising them. Subways? Public bathrooms? Public libraries? Just ridiculous.
Give KIDS a break and don't require your nanny to be filling their time with the sites and sounds of such a dangerous city as a way of convincing yourselves that your kids are being "culturally stimulated" being put at risk is more like it.
Please. Non-Asian people do adopt Asian children.
Look around before you speak.
Anonymous said...
This is not a true report.
I've never seen an asian parent hire a black nanny. Never. Especially in Tribeca, which is close to Chinatown.
Asian parents would prefer their child be nannied by a Chinese speaker. So they can be close to the language and culture.
Nice try, troll... but you're not believable.
2:16 here to the OP
I'm sorry, I thought I commented on other things in my post besides the womans hair. I must be mistaken.
So, if the parents care that much then why don't they have a driver, or give the nanny money to use a cab? I'm betting these employers aren't worrying about her every whereabouts. I have to say, OP, you sound a bit psycho with the phone thing. If I were your nanny I would run far far away.
I am a nanny and I would never not hold my charges hand (he is 3.5 years old) while walking with him, even on a non-busy/non-crowded street. I don't think this is justifiable! I have only used my cell phone twice when out with my charge (in over a years time) and both times I set down with him in my lap and spoke as quickly as I could. How can we even attempt to justify this? It is not safe to have a little child trailing behind you, where you can't see them, period! What was she thinking? Phone or no phone, that child could have been kidnapped and killed or hit by a car...and if I were the parent I would either put her on probation or fire her! Sorry guys, but sometimes "little mistakes" have HUGE consciences!
Opps, consciences = consequences!
Ugh, haha sorry Jane, I didn't mean to post that 4 times, my computer froze, so I re-clicked.
To Jaden's mom, the OP, and all the other illiterate people out there: it's SIGHT, not SITE. SIGHT as in eyesight, SITE as in website. Damn, people. I usually don't jump on poor spellers' backs, but this is getting annoying.
Jaden's Mom
"Children shouldn't be taken to public libraries", are you kidding?! The children's rooms of NYC have specially trained librarians, and all kinds of activities, from baby lap story time to computer instruction. They are a wonderful resource for parents and care givers, and toddlers who go to the library regularly and help choose the books to take home tend to become enthusiastic readers.
Children shold be taken, by the nanny, where ever the parents want them taken and they should be cared for responsibly.
oops...I meant "should." I noticed the typo, spelling, and grammar police are back out.
I am a nanny and I am probably guilty of talking on my cell phone more than I should. But I would never do it without containing the child first! This is absolutely unforgivable. Who are the idiots who have attempted to justify this?
My SAHM wife loves taking our 8 month old to storytime in the library. He loves interacting with other babies, and my wife loves interating with other mommies.
The storytime is conducted in a separate area of the library, away from other patrons, and my wife tells me the woman conducting the whole affair is excellent.
So to the person who says babies don't belong in the library; screw you.
I took all of my children to the library to story time regularly, from a very early age.
They love to be with the other kids. And it is a way for the younger ones to pretend they are at "school" when they are sad because older siblings get to go off to real school and they are left behind.
Ok guys I am a nanny and a mom.
The mother and father of my charge call me everyday on my personal cell to check in. Also, If I have a palydate or activity to take them to the mom likes me to call and let her know as well as when I might decide to take the kids somewhere so there can be any number of times when i am distracted by the kids parents calling me.
And what parent hasn't lost track of their child at least once for a few seconds or minutes? I never let my child out of mui sight and yet can remember losing her more than once for seconds that seemed like hours. I doubt the incident you are describing took more than a minute. And before you say it I KNOW thinks can happen in a slpit second but thats reality and we are all human, this doesn't sound horrible to me. Sorry
I try to be fair and this sounds like an honest mistake.
OP, great post. Sounds like the nanny was having a distorted moment. Still, she should have been holding a child's hand.
As for 2:45 "I've never seen an asian parent hire a black nanny". If you are not kidding, you must get out a bit more.
11:25, if you are minding a very young child in public, especially walking up or down stairs and you get an unexpected phone call that you must answer, you STOP and HOLD THE CHILD'S HAND. It is your JOB whether a parent or a nanny to keep the child safe from falling down stairs, getting lost, getting hit by a car or getting lured off or grabbed by a stranger. If you think this nanny's "honest mistake" was no big deal, you have no business taking responsibility for the well being of children. Children are left to roast to death in cars by parents who are making "honest mistakes". It doesn't make it any less dangerous.
Have I ever lost sight of my 3 year old for a few seconds or MINUTES in public? NO. Especially not in a very crowded and dangerous public place like walking up the stairs from a BART station onto Market Street, with all the bums, addicts, crazies, creeps and speeding cars. You scare me.
Cali Mom: I agree 100%. I too have a 3 yo, and an 18 mo. This kind of "honest mistake" is unacceptable.
And yet how very often I have seen kids being walked by nannies along the busy street and being paid far less attention than I would ever consider acceptable for my own!
It is a lot of work to keep a toddler in hand at all times, especially in very busy places. It takes a very dedicated individual to keep them safe at all times.
That's why it is so incredibly important that parents are absolutley sure about the level of care their children are receiving when they are not there. Sometimes a mistake that happens in an instance like this is one that can never be undone. It's not a risk worth taking...ever!
I agree that the nanny should have been sure to keep the child close to her before calling, but stop acusing nannies for everything. Even a good parent could have done the same thing, only because he's been distracted. So before acusing the nannies for whatever happen with a child, try to consider if it could only happen with her.
I will not consider whether or not it could happen with a mother. I know damn well that it could. Look at Madeleine McCann's parents. If they didn't kill her, they should still be locked up for neglect and endangerment. Just because a mother does it, does not make it okay. The difference is when you are working, regardless of your job, you have to choose when you can make and take phone calls. Whether you are a post man, a surgeon, a receptionist or a police officer. And certainly if a tiny child is depending on you for his/her safe pass through the bowels of New York City.
4:09: Just because it COULD happen with a parent does not excuse the behviour of the nanny in question. We are not talking about SOME parents. We are talking about THIS nanny.
And I would consider any parent who would allow this to happen with their own child even more lacking in the necessary child-rearing skills than this nanny.
9:33: You forgot CITE. As in to make reference to.
Jeez! Get a real hobby!
Why do people get so defensive? Why is it always "a SAHM could have done this too!"
I agree that there are some really crummy, negligent parents out there...but is that ANY excuse for a nanny, or anybody else, to endanger a child? Just because something worse COULD happen, or somebody ELSE could do something bad, doesn't make any negligence involving a child any less serious. This is I SAW YOUR NANNY. Maybe the mom of THIS child is not one of the negligent moms who would take her child into the city without holding his hand at all times, and maybe SHE wants to know about THIS nanny so she can get her child more professional and competent care. One child at a time might just have ot be good enough for now.
5:58, I agree completely about the McCanns. Whether by murder or negligence, they are 100% at fault for her disappearance.
Cali Mom and 5:58, I am in agreement as well. I have said this all along.
I agree also that the Mc canns shouldn't have left their children alone at all...especially in a hotel room.
I would never have considered such a thing for a moment, and my first thought when I heard they had been at a restaurant when she disappeared was, "What the heck were they thinking?! Idiots!"
However, if they are not the ones responsible for her death, and a stranger really did come into the room and take her, my heart breaks for them nevertheless. It was an incredibly stupid thing to do, but what a price to pay! Nobody deserves to have to live with that. Nobody.
I hope to heaven they didn't do anything to her themselves. The whole thing is very, very weird.
Child neglect is prevalent amongst the Brits.
10:44
Are you from N.J. the library description you gave sounds like a place I go to. Englewood library if that rings a bell. My son loves it too, and I met alot of nice moms. Now, we get together after class for coffee, etc. We get association and so do the kids. All in the same age group for the most part.
Way to go Eric's mom!
I have made some lifelong friends at my kid's activities. It's a great way to have a social life that includes your children. That way you can choose nice friends for your son by seeing who he gets along well with, and you can choose mommy friends who share your same values and general parenting philosophy. Then you have a "village" to help you through the tough times in parenting as well. Everybody can bring a little different perspective to any dilemma you might be having with your child, and you might just get some great ideas that had never occurred to you.
Get the dads together sometimes too for some whole family activities. We are going to high school graduations now with families we met before their children could even walk. My kids have lifelong pals who they have grown up with, camped with, vacationed with, etc. And my husband and I will have friends in their parents as we enjoy our grandchildren together!
Someone find OP's nanny and tell her to drop OP's 'cell' phone because it's an invasion of PRIVACY AND ILLEGAL. I don't pay that much for my phone and get unlimited minutes, texts etc and would rather pay my own bill than have a circus owner wanna be tell me when to use it. Um ... I'm not that old and maybe to you I'm not professional since I don't go to classes with no hand on experience like 'real' nannies but I can watch kids running around the park, around the house etc while on my phone because I do have emergencies that DO NOT constitue a petty mother minimizing my phone usage. If something happens due to neglect or abuse while I wasn't paying attention that's one thing but you hired the low end of spectrum of a nanny if they're that desperate for their own phone they let you pay for it and micromanage it.
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