Received Saturday, October 6, 2007
BAD babysitter sighting Friday in Central park at the Adventure Playground (67th/CPW) between 2-4 Friday 10/5. Babysitter was white/American probably early/mid 20's, long drk hair,denim skirt and red shirt, fat (I can say that because I am too). She was with 2 kids in a black or blue Phil & Ted's stroller. A baby girl, 8 months and a little boy, probably 2.5 yo. husky build and shirt dark hair anyway, the little boy was out of control- taking kid's toys, throwing sand, splashing little kids with water,etc. anyway, the babysitter kept saying "he won't listen to his mom, so I don't even try to make him listen to me". She kept going on and on about how the mom didn't make him listen. Well, it gets worse. He had been playing in the water and sand in a regular diaper and then he pooped in his diaper and it went everywhere- up his back, down his legs. The babysitter did not even notice. The kid took his own diaper off. It was really disgusting. She halfway cleaned him off and just let him run around totally naked for an hour at least. He was in the water, in the sand, going down all the slides- naked! It was so disgusting and unsanitary for him and the other kids. I finally said something to her when he came over to my 13 month old who was playing in the water when he took my dc's bucket. I told her that she should probably put a diaper on that kid. She again said how the mom didn't make him listen and how she couldn't even catch him to put a diaper on him (she had been sitting on the steps for the past hour while the baby was in the stroller). Finally she makes the kid come over to her and lays him down on the ground and says "yuck, there is still poopy in there" meaning his butt and then asks me to borrow my bucket so she can clean this kid's sh*t out of his butt. I said no. So she took some other kids bucket and filled it with water and washed him off right there next to the water where all the kids were playing. So disgusting. If I were this mom, I would totally want to know about the way your babysitter is with your dc. I would definitely fire her.
54 comments:
First , I would hope she's an American, as she is in America.
Second, I really wish she wasn't. How disgusting, lazy, idiotic... **shudders**
American, as she is in America.
You dont have to be "American" to be in America, god you're an idiot.
Oh, now that is very unsanitary! I think both the mother and the nanny need to put their puny brains together and get their guidelines in order.The playground sprinkler is not for washing off poop, and exposing other children to fecal matter.
that is nasty! why didn't she have some wipes or something?
People take better care of their dogs in NYC--At least they pick up their poop.
Truly a disgusting post. Makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with people.
Terrifying to think that the mother might not see anything wrong with this nanny.
12:05, you don't have to be American to be in America.
You could be visiting. Or be here illegally. Whichever.
12:05, Please, lets not turn this horrid nanny sighting into a debate about something completely off topic.
This woman is awful. I hope someone will find out who she works for and tell them how awful she is.
Another case of someone who ought to have been sterilized before it was too late. An ignorant babysitter like that is obviously the fault of the ignorant mother, who the ignorant babysitter referred to multiple times. And the ignorant adults will raise an ignorant spoiled child who will likely produce more ignorant children because no one will teach him better.
Someone is obviously completely unqualified and inexperienced if they don't notice a poopy mess in the diaper or ON the child after the poopy diaper is removed, and if they are so unprepared that they don't even have the necessary tools for the job (ie diaper wipes). Unfortunately, I bet the mom would have no problem with this scenario, as this person is undoubtedly making $5/hr off the books, and who can beat that price??
Oh my GOD! How is it that no one at that park went up to her, handed her some wipes and a toss bag, and told her to clean up the poop before her charge spread some sort of disease all over the place, infecting THEIR kids?
Seriously. I am not a very outspoken person, but the sitter's behavior (undoubtedly prompted by the parents disciplinary ineffectiveness with the little boy) would have had me offering her some pointed advice and cleaning equipment.
Her inaction was not only lazy but dangerous. OP, how many people watched this kid smeared with poop run around naked? IOW, how many people did NOTHING? Which, when you think about it, makes them pretty culpable in the blame game we have going here....
Thank God for courageous, caring moms and others who take the time and effort to report these incompetent, substandard caretakers. Hopefully, the information provided will circulate around enough that it will eventually get to the right parties, in this case, the parents who need to fire this disaster of a nanny, and with regard to other sightings, to other parents with similar idiots in their employ.
I'm sorry, but the parents weren't there the nanny was, so judging them is inappropriate unless you know they are aware of how the nanny behaves. If she's any good she would appropriately discipline the child. A 2 year old can easily be picked up and removed from a play area if she would have bothered.
OP: You should have notified a parks officer. I live downtown and I've seen caregivers and their children escorted out of the park for not keeping the children properly diapered and creating unsanitary conditions like this.
NO NO NO, this is completely disgusting and just plain 'ole nasty! How could she? How could anyone that's sitting there watching this foolishness just let this happen? Ridiculous.
Ewwwww! So nasty! I'm dry-heaving at the thought of it!
All I can say is EWWWWW!
If I saw the child naked going down the slide and playing in the sand with a poopy butt I would of left the playground with my child. That is nasty. I wouldn't even want to go back to that park.
so if your kids smell like crap, when they come home from this park you will know why
This is exactly why nanny quarters need to be searched and often, so that parents know exactly who they are dealing with. Keep on top of your lazy, stupid, sluggish nannies, parents!
Mmmmmm.....E Coli, anyone????
Um, 12:40, so you think the nanny is hiding the poopy sandy diapers in her underwear drawer? Stealing the other person's bucket and then disposing of it in the empty Kotex box in her bathroom trash? What evidence would you expect to find of this incident by snooping around in her private areas? Are you in the habit of reading your nanny's diary and you are well aware of how much she hates you but since she's cheap you don't mind leaving your children with her?
I shudder at what a nanny's underwear drawer might look like or contain. And what of her diary? Isn't a mandate to keeping a diary the ability write? I think you would need some "sort" or translator to be able to comprehend the ramblings of a nanny. And the only thing more pitiful than a the hope and woe of a nanny's diary is the sucker who gets his or her thrills seeking it out.
Really, there is a whole, big world out there. Get out!
Maggie,
Your hateful bigoted attitude toward nannies as a group is very hurtful to those of us who are dedicated professional nannies.
As for your snide comment re writing ability, read your post. "need some "sort" or translator"... "pitiful than a the hope" In addition to these bizarre structures, two sentences start with and.
An insulted nanny.
insulted nanny,
relax. maggie is a notorious drunk.
I don't employ a nanny at this time, but if I did, I would definitely know what was in her room, what she did in her room, and I would be sure to inspect any written materials in the room for evidence of her outside activities. Would I read her diary if I discovered one in her living quarters? Hell yes! I would do anything to protect my children and would make it my business to know everything about my nanny. So, what's wrong with that? for Cali Mom: A person's private living area could reveal many clues about their sanitary practices, for example, and might prevent a parent for continuing to employ some shit-fingered nanny to take care of their children, like the one at the playground.
Wait a minute! Maggie, are you the 'Maggie' that always seems to rub people the wrong way?
Paranoid control freak at 4:44, pray tell, once again, since you haven't been able to answer as many times as you've been asked, HOW would you know from snooping through the nanny's underwear drawer if such an incident as this happened at the playground?
I know it isn't as salacious and you'd have to actually get off your heavily lipo'ed ass to do this the right way, but if you wanna know what your nanny is up to when she's out with your kids, get out there and observe from afar. Since I'm sure you'd have to cut your manicure a few hours shorter though, it'll never happen. You'll have to satisfy yourself by counting her tampons and Kotex. And telling your manicurist about it since she's the only person you can even pay to listen to your clacking teeth.
Unless a nanny is exhibiting strange behavior (drunkedness, incoherence, mean to the kids), there is no need to search through her belongings. It is uncivilized and shows a lack of respect. If there are trust issues, or any kind of nanny underwear fetish, it better to let the nanny go, rather than treat her like she's on parole.
cali mom, you really arent't thinking straight. You think it's ok to play private dick and do a stake out on your nanny, but don't look in their room where they might hide something that they don't want you to know they have or use... and not just in their underwear drawer. What about diaries? What about paperwork? What about checkbooks revealing their expenditures? What about the contents of their wastebaskets?
No stone should be left unturned in learning all about your nanny.
If you are so untrusting of your nanny that you want to search her things, fire her.
If I had learned my bosses were reading my diary, looking at my checkbook, and going through my underwear drawer and garbage, I would have walked out.
That is a complete invasion of their privacy, and the things kept in their rooms usually have nothing to do with the children. You have no right to know about their sex lives or what they buy, if none of it reaches your kids.
There is nothing wrong with watching your nanny at the park or coming home early. It tells you much more about how she feels about your kids then you would find by reading her checkbook.
Maggie is known as the little bitch princess
Good arguments for NOT ransacking the nanny quarters. On the other hand, reasons to do so also make sense. I am glad I don't have to really make a personal decision regarding this.
well then, think about this anonymous1, it's well known that nannies creep about all over their employer's houses and snoop into everything. They drink the liquor, try on the clothes, that is... when they can squeeze their fat, lazy asses into something they covet, they gorge on the food, and there is nothing sacred to them or safe from them. And you now doubt whether or NOT nannies' quarters should be searched? There is no doubt in my mind and there has never been any doubt. Don't you think some of these nannies doth protest a bit overly much about the possibility of their rooms being open to inspection? Why do you think that is?
To the paranoid control freak employers with underwear fetishes: Your nanny's checkbook is NONE of your concern. Nor are her credit card statemnts if the card is in HER name and not yours. None whatsoever, and I'm willing to bet she could sue you for having snooped through PRIVATE FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS that DO NOT PERTAIN TO HER EMPLOYMENT WITH YOU. What she bys with her paycheck is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS as long as it's not illegal. And if you think your nanny is disposing of something illegal in her wastebasket, then YOU'VE made the mistake of hiring an idiot.
Again, skip a manicure, get off your lazy fat but lipo'ed ass and go see for yourself what the nanny is up to if you don't think you can trust her around your children.
And bettr not leave YOUR checkbook or diary laying around, either.
12:05, what do you have against nannies?
I never once went through anything. The only drawers that were opened in the homes I worked in were the drawers that held spoons and forks and art supplies.
I never once tried on any clothes, the only things I put on were dress up clothes with the kids.
I never dreamed of touching the liquor, even when one family told me I was welcome to it.
And, fat lazy asses? I've met very few lazy nannies, and even fewer fat ones. There seems to be alot if you come to this site, but thats because people don't come here often with the good sightings, everyone prefers drama, and you seem to be one of them.
If you are going to leave your precious child alone with someone, you shouldn't feel the need to go through their things. If there is so little trust that you need to do that, why on earth would you leave your child alone with them for even a moment?
1:13, probably because
a)the nanny is an illegal immigrant so the employer can easily intimidate her, thereby satisfying a neurotic need of her own and
b)she works cheap, (off the books) leaving more cash available for the really important things like cosmetic procedures and Bloomies.
It's obviously not because she cares if the children adore the nanny or because she thinks the nanny is wonderful in any way.
12:05am, you sound quite bitter. Seems that you've had a bad nanny experience. It is unfair though that you are using your experience to judge all nannies. When I was a nanny, the only time I went through my employers' drawers was when I was putting away the lanudry. The only time I went through documents was then I was making international and domestic travel arrangements for the families. I never had any use for clothing that wasn't mine, money that I didn't earn, or documents that weren't mine. I now have part time/sometime nanny, and I trust her completely. Not all nannies are bad. You will give yourself a heart attack by being so paranoid.
1205 am,
when someone says "doth" as in doth protest, i am overwhelmed witht he desire to kick them repeatedly in the head.
Interesting stuff here on this blog. Who are you people? I wonder if I know you on the street.
Regarding nannies and judging books by the cover and nannies going through your possesions, I have an opinion.
I have had two nannies in my lifetime. One for 2 years and one for 4 1/2. Both nannies were overweight Americans. I saw zero of the stereotypical behaviors one assumes an overweight or fat employee would engage in. Both were mild mannered, ate an appropriate amount of food, looked for extra things to do for the children and didn't hesitate to get in a swim suit and jump in the pool. They were precision drivers who could have given clinics on carseat safety.
I am in the Boston area, and while this may sound awful, there seem to be a fair amount of overweight nannies. The only reason that I mention their weight is because I have lived in New York and I think the nannies in Boston are better than anywhere else. There is just a different level of professionalism.
And by the by, I am a size 2 petite, my size 16 nanny isn't trying on my clothes. What an odd thing for someone to say that nannies try on their employer's clothing. My nanny makes an excellent salary and she lives in. We provide her a vehicle and pay everything for her, so she has enough disposable income to buy whatever she wants if she wants to obsess about clothing.
I wonder if some of the people posting even have nannies? I have met so many wonderful nannies.
12:05 has serious issues.
I would have no problem with my employers going through my things. I have nothing to hide. Go ahead, look at my bills and go through my drawers. Go through my purse. Look in my diary.
It just makes them look like huge asses when they don't find a thing!
Seems if people spent as much time and concern with their children, there wouldn't be such a huge demand for sitters. The good nannies would have steady employment with good families who didn't feel the need to ransack their belongings in their absence, and your friend's nanny's cousin who just arrived from Guatemala and is willing to work as your highly unqualified nanny for $5.00 an hour off the books wouldn't be such an appealing option. Leave the good nannies for mommies and daddies who have no option but to work, because of divorce, death of a spouse, single parenthood, or some other tragic situation. Those people who are forced to work to support their children probably wish more than anything that they could be with their kids all day. The rest of you who just can't be burdened to be a parent, and instead feel the need to go lunching, shopping and to the spa all day--get your heads out of your behinds and quit being so selfish. Does it make you feel good about your manicured and pampered self that it might have been YOUR child playing at the park slathered in his own excrement while you were busy enjoying martinis and crab cakes?
Leave the good nannies to those who NEED them and go home to your child. There should not be a need for such a site as this on the internet! Our society has become so incredibly selfish.
10:40, you make it sound like all moms who have nannies are like that.
Or just because the mom chooses to work, there is something wrong with her parenting.
This has to be the most prejudice site I've ever been to.
I agree that it is mean for a mom to work unnecessarily if she has kids. If she has to support the family because she is somehow alone, that is one thing. But to work because you want to be "fulfilled", or because you want more or better stuff, that's just selfish. Kids want to be "fulfilled" too. They don't want to be locked away in a daycare, or waiting hours upon hours with a substitute mommy every day for you to finally show your face. How "fulfilled" do you imagine that makes them feel? If you can't be bothered, don't have any. That's a choice, you know.
And if you don't have a job, but just like your "me" time and to be pampered, you should truly be ashamed of yourself. Judgement? Yes! Your kids can't stick up for themselves...and you don't seem to be...so I guess I will.
Moms deserve to have "me" time. Everyone needs a break sometimes.
And what about the moms who work, and the dads stay home?
I will be having kids, and no matter how much money my husband makes I will be working. Having a part time babysitter is not a problem. The kids hanging out at their grandparents house isn't a problem. Mom working while Dad is home isn't a problem.
And while my daughters grow up knowing they have every damn right a man has, your daughters will grow up in a little bubble. Good job.
12:20pm, I feel sorry for your wife. She is probably at home right now, and is not allowed to have a nanny over even for two hours a week so she can have her hair done or have coffee with a friend. Your poor wife is probably suffering from postpartum depression and on the brink of hurting the kids, but you are too manly to bother with her well being. Honestly, I hope your wife is seeing the mailman, or the hunky UPS guy.
Dear 12:40,
I feel sorry for your eventual kids. I hope the huge chip you have on your shoulder doesn't fall off and hurt one of them. And while you're busy teaching them that they have "every damn right a man has," are you planning at all to teach them about love and nurturing, compassion and empathy? Or do you just want them to work at being as much like men as possible? Just what the world needs...more angry, bitter women with chips on their shoulders. You seem to forget that with "rights" comes "responsibility." Sure you have the "damn right" to do anyting you please, but that doesn't mean that having children while still believing that the universe revolves around you and your whims and desires is the ethical thing to do. If creating a litter of narcissists is your goal,go ahead and teach them everything you know!
I enjoy this blog and I am a stay at home mother with three children and a full time nanny. I don't need to do everything for my children to be a perfect mother. My children are happy to have a mother that is not frenzied, bitter or exhausted all of the time. I have a tremendous respect for stay at home mothers who do it all themselves, I do. And I have met some wonderful nannies over the years.
There is nothing absolutely noble about being a sahm without a nanny. Many sahms spend all day on the computer or worse- watching television. How is that beneficial? And how many of these Sahms bashing nannies and working mothers on this blog fall into that category?
When I decided to get help, I considered a mother's helper but I had the good sense to want someone who could do it all-drive, dance, swim, draw, bake, sing, teach, etc.
I hired a real nanny. And we both have days when we are beat, exhausted, upset, frazzled, moody; but for the most part; we inspire each other to do more and more great things with the children, and my children are the happies, most well rounded and emotionally secure children you'll ever meet.
Win-win.
I think that sounds great...because you are there and available. What kids really need to know is that they are valuable and important to their parents.
I just don't see how being absent from morning to night conveys that message to them.
10:40 am,
How exactly are the devastated single parents who are struggling to live on a single salary and some life insurance supposed to pay for the good nannies they need and no one else apparently deserves?
A good nanny in a mid-range market makes about 35K per year. A good nanny in a high-end market makes about 50K per year. A great nanny in a high end market can easily hit 6 figures.
I don't know many everyday single parents who could afford those salaries plus benefits, do you?
To the mommy war posters:
Is it possible to accept that SAH and WAH and WOH parents have all made the decision that is right for them and their families?
One thing I don't understand about women, including myself, is the apparent need we all have at times to reassure ourselves of our value by DEvaluing the choices others make.
She WOH? Well, then I am a better mommy. Even if I yelled at the kids all day hyesterday.
She SAH? Well, then I am a better mommy because I set an example for my kids that women can do whatever they want to do. Even if I can't be home when I'd like to be, because I can't work PT.
She WAH? Well then I am a better mommy and worker because she's tryinbg to focus on too many things and doing a bad job at all of them. Even though I fed my kids at the drive through the last 3 nights.
Let go of the guilt, ladies. Accept that you are where you want to be, and accept that other people can make other choices. No one is as miserable as the person who insists she is the best mommy on the block.
...hops off soapbox...
Nannies have been around for centuries, and most often were needed for gentlemen and ladies, none of whom needed to work.
Don't you think we're being slightly judgmental as a society when we condemn people who employ nannies simply because they CAN? It doesn't mean they don't love their kids, it's just a different mode of operation.
How those kids turn out doesn't hinge on the parents using a nanny; it has much more to do with the nanny's abilities and values.
And I would suspect those kids will turn out a sight better than those who are stuck with a mother who HAS to work, or a SAM with lousy parenting skills and no money.
At least these children are born with the possibility of the advantages their high-income homes provide, like the best schools, extracurricular activities, exposure to new places, food besides McDonald's, and money for college, a first home, a computer, a car.
chick - Great post. I am not sure which type of SAHMS riles me the most: those who think their kids fare so much better because they never take a break from them, and those who think their kids fare so much better because they are rich enough to afford a nanny.
It is good that some of these mothers have spare time, and others spare money, because obviously they all have brains in limited supply!
3:40, why the excessive hostility? Are you guilty about something?
You are resorting to silly arguments in order to keep from looking at whatever it is that has you so upset, or about whatever it is you are doing and harbring secret guilt about.
Stay at home moms are not glued to their kids 24/7, but they are available to them. We have friends, outings, shopping trips...all of the stuff other moms have...only we work them in around the times that our children need us most. And we can live with a little of that other stuff until our kids are in school,instead of making a personal lifestyle that is so involved that it excludes our children...but you already knew that. Lashing out senselessly is not productive.
You anger comes form within. Don't blame the site. It just reminds you of what you try so hard to rationalize away..but you already knew that too.
::gag::
Linda,
Use your guilt to guide you to do the right thing.
When it gets too tough just repeat this to yourself, "I am a big girl. The world is not all about me. (Have smelling salts on hand at this time, just in case.) I can do something for my children first, despite my desire to perfect the art of instant personal gratification. (Have person familiar with Heimlich procedure on hand at this point, in case you gag again.) The world is not ALL about me. The world is not ALL about ME. The world is not ALL about ME? The world is NOT all about ME!!???? The world is not ALL about ME. The world is NOT all about ME!..." (Keep going until you start to believe it. Or at least until you can say it without gagging.)
That's the first of your 12 steps.
Follow along and you will be on the road to recognizing that your children are people with feelings and needs in no time!
Post a Comment