Received Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I saw a nanny - young attractive blonde named Monica - slap a brunette 4 (ish?) year old girl yesterday in Union Sq. Park around 4 O clock.
Here's the story:
This little brunette girl poked another little girl in the face- the girl ran to her mom crying- the mom said to the poker -" you hurt her and shouldn't hurt other children" or something to that effect. The nanny grabbed the child and was severely scolding and then slapped her and they left the park.
She was back today and the nanny wore a blue striped tee shirt and the girl wore a purple shirt. I would horrified if a sitter treated my child this way.
38 comments:
can you snap a picture of the nanny with your phone?
if she does that again in your presence - would you call the police?
i am worried about how that girl is trwated in private is slapping is appropriate in public. of course, the slap was not acceptable either.
Dude, slapped her where? Makes all the difference
makes no difference. if my nanny slapped my child, i'd cut off her hand.
and what is with the background of this page today? is it me or is it white?
it must be you..its blue on my side.
It does make a difference where she was slapped - I automatically think 'slapped in the face' (absolutely unacceptable). If she was slapped on the hands I don't have as much of an issue, especially if she was instructed to do so by the parents.
There's no way it was ok for that nanny to hit that child. It doesn't matter were the child was slpped...iit's not her business to do so.
how do you know it was a nanny?
I guess it's okay then for an adult to slap a child to teach them that poking another child is not okay.
Sickening, whether nanny or parent.
Re: To those of you stating that it's okay to slap a child in "certain areas". So, let me get this straight, we are going to teach a child to not be physically violent by acting physically violent towards them? That makes loads of sense. Come on people, that's a mighty hypocritical and confusing way to teach a child a lesson. The word slapping was used (not spanking) and let's differentiate between these two words (regardless of whether you agree with spanking or not) SLAPPING is never okay! Slapping connotates more agression, and is compltely inappropriate. It's about time we stop standing up for these horrendous nannies, are start standing up for these poor children!
Oops, should say "and start standing up for these poor children!"
test
i just posted a long winded comment to i got the apple regarding the tolerance of some people to excuse bad nanny sighting and to blame the children. to call the children brats. yes, some children misbehave, some children have behavior issues and other children have days where they can act like brats. none of this excuses hitting, smacking, slapping a child.
if you are at all confused, wonder why the judge had to issue an order telling her she is not allowed to spank or smack or slap her children.
hmmmm if britney does it, doesn't it show you what kind of leper smacks around a kid?
thanks for the insight i got the apple. we need more people like you.
The sad part about this is,nannies are always finding a way to "hit" the child. They just do it sneakyly. Not all nannies do this, I don't, but when the child starts misbehaving to a point where the nanny can no longer take it, they end up afflicting some kind of pain to the child.This is the very reason as to why I belive nannies should be trined for this particular craft, should have been some sort of teacher, and know CPR, I strongly believe just because you're a parent,you don't get to be a nanny. they need to be trained, and have patience. I feel so sorry because a lot of nannies just aren't true(meaning the smiles are glued on in front of the parents), and when the child can't talk yet, do you know how much murder these nannies get away with? I'm writing a book about it this instant. It's sad and sickening,and a no win situation for parents that need to work. Why do parents have nannies when they don't work? Is it ebcause they're lazy? Just a question.
"Why, I'm Jenisis, of course" - so If the mother has to work, then it ok to have a nanny.
What if a woman wants to be a mother but knows her personal limits and can afford a nanny? Does that make her lazy or practical. Not every woman wants to spend all of their time devoted to their children - a woman of means has options.
I am not seeing what this has to do with a nanny slapping a child.
anonymous, you don't have to see what this has to do with slapping a child in my question. I already posted how I feel about the slap.
I personaly feel...why have a child, or children if you don't want to take care of them? Screw the "means", my parents had the "means"...they still took care of me. That's very selfish and self absorbed. Maybe they just wanted offspring to pass on their legacy to...ADOPT,THEN! There are plenty of children out there that would be happy to be out of a foster home just to live in a "meaningful" home. Many of the children I have come across throughout my career have parents that have nannies, while the mom spends all day at a spa, or at the gym....the kids are and were horrible. I also have a few friends that grew up the same way, and well, they aren't friends anymore. One is in a psychiatric hospital because she tried to kill herself. Her reason-because her mother and dad didn't want her. The nanny raised her. Don't have kids if you want to live your meaningful life...or get dogs. The fact that a parent has "means" is one of the lamest excuses ever, and yes, the parent is lazy, why? Because they don't want to take care of their responsibilty. "Oh, look at me, I stay home all day, doing whatever I want, but my nanny cares for kids day in and day out." RIGHT!
Bad Nanny. =( Nannies should never, ever hit a child. I am generally very pro-nanny on this site but I'll not excuse any childcare provider for striking a child. Bad, bad, bad.
Every day I come to this site, and every day I find more confirmation that NOT leaving my small child in the care of a stranger/nanny/babysitter/daycare worker is the right thing. As it is, when they're in elementary school and can speak up, its still hard to figure out sometimes what's going on.
If the nanny has your child 8 to 12 hours a day, they discipline them as they see fit. They're spending more time with the child than you are. Therefore, they are more in a position to deal with the child's behavior.
And the thing about "personal limits"? Yes, that means you're lazy. And didn't really want to parent, but wanted all the perks of having a kid. At least one parent, mother OR father, should be home with the child when they're small and can't defend themselves.
Look at all these celebs that have kids. They go around acting like they do so much when they don't. Donald Trumps wife has a full time live in nanny. Does she work?? No, she just a lazy mom. Probably gets all dressed up to go to charity events, thinking she did something noble. The only one that seems to really be a good mom is Katie Holmes. Maybe I am wrong but thats what I think. She seems to spend alot of time with her daughter. On the other hand I think Angelina Jolie is a terrible mother. Do you ever see pictures of her holding her daughter?. Maybe one or two pictures. Most pictures are of her holding Maddox or little girl. Now, I don't know what goes on behind close doors, maybe she is a caring mom to her biological child as well
I would love to have a babysitter two days a week. Just so I can do errands, go out, etc. If I could get someone in 10 hours a week I would.
I don't have family that offers to help out much. Once a week at the most for 2-3 hours.
My husband works nites, so after he comes home he eats, goes on the internet, etc. Then he doesn't wake up till the next morning until 11 am. During the morning I try and take my child out so it won't wake him up. Then my husband goes out to change the oil on the car, go see his friends,etc. He leaves for work at 2.
4:32
I loved what you wrote. I completely agree. These women on here are so judgemental of these nannies and how they handle their "charges" (who came up with that ridiculous name?) and none of this would even be a problem if people raised their own freakin kids. How can you ask someone to practically raise your child for you when you should be able to do it yourself. Get off your high horses or use a condom.
I feel you 1:06
I work for my kid 12 hours a day, and sometimes overtime. I make 6 figures, but that still doesn't take away the fact that when they hired me they said "We like our helpers to have lives,too" Ok, cool, but where is mine? So if you're killing me like this, I'm going to do what I want. I discipline the way I wish (but, I don't hit, I hate that, I've been trained for many years, and can easily say I'm one of the best), I take care of my business, I choose the classes he takes,I have a few of their Credit cards in my name-so I buy what I want,I'm pretty much the mommy and daddy. However, the parents are helpful, wonderful, open to all thoughts, and involved in their kids lives when they can be.
I really think it's super idiotic to have a nanny when you do nothing all day, and hey, if you need a little break, try daycare...the kids being around other children can work wonders for your child.
However, I truly don't recommend it until you're child is old enough to use his/her words. My own child won't have a caregiver until he/she can tell me what's wrong.
I am a mom, I was working and had a babysitter for my kids well, one day I decieded that my kids needed me more then I needed the money. So I quit my job. We went to one car and got rid of cable and a lot of other extras. We went down to a one income family. I did not like the thought of someone else raising my kids. I am not judging other people that have babysitters or nannies or daycare. I do understand that sometimes things happen in ones life that you have not control over. In these cases sometimes both parents(if there are two parents) have to work. I am just saying that until your child can talk for him/herself and tell you what happened while the parent is away then one of the parents should be home with them. My youngest son is 4 and that is still to young, so I am staying home still. I have no intentions of going back to work ever,if I do then it will be after he is out of high school.
You can never be sure of what is happening when you are not with your kids, case in point someone "slapping" your child for poking another child, words would have worked just as well.
Please understand the only one I am judging here is the nanny that "slapped" the child.
One more thing I just don't understand woman that intend to hire someone to watch and raise their children before they even get pregnant. I just dont understand it.
Sorry about the long post, I was just moved to write when I was reading these comments.
9:22, are you also 12:44? I agree completely. Yes, a few hours during the week is necessary for sanity and if the dad is not able to take on responsibilities at the times you need him to, then a babysitter a few hours a week makes sense. But lazy "moms" who just want all the easy parts (i.e. shopping fior cute children's clothes and the bedtime kiss, "sleep tight!") of parenthood and none of the actual personal involvement should not reproduce.
I also went through trying to work when my little boy was first born while my husband went down to PT hours and we had a nanny 2 days a week, and after going through hell trying to make it work w/my asshole employers I realized I was only working so other people could spend time with my baby and said F- that! I wouldn't miss all this for the world, and he'll be my only one, and time flies. I feel very lucky that I can make it work.
I am 12:44 and I am not 9:22. I would like to add something else.
You know the old saying "Children are a gift" well this coming from a mom with hard won children(infertility issues) I know the true meaning of that saying. When you have to go through 5 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant and many surguries and tests. You really dont want anyone else raising your children and you really do want to spend every moment with them that you can.
When I read some of these postings I just want to cry. That people would put, what should be their most prized posession in the hands of some of these people. I would not let some of these people watch my dog let alone my children.
Again, I am not saying that I am better then any other mom or dad out there, just doing it my way. Staying home and raising my own children. Teaching them my thoughts, morals, ethics. I guess what I am saying if they are messed up as adults then I did it and I have no one else to blame.(that last sentence was a joke.) I love my kids and I want to shape them into the adults they will become.
I do want to add that a child should never never never be slapped in the face. If you need to get a childs attention to the importance of a situation then that a quick swat to the bottom is all it should take. ie, if a child runs out into the street without looking or goes to touch a hot stove. That is why small children wear diapers and god made thier little bottoms with a little extra padding.
Right on, 3:07am. When I was a kid, my cousin got a major nose bleed when an older sibling slapped her cheek. It wasn't even a big slap, but it was enough to cause a major nose bleed. It was an awful experience for all of us.
3:07 AM
You sound like a loving mom, but diapers and tush fat are so you can hit them there....... please, that isn't funny. There are still people who believe in controlling their children through fear and/or pain, i.e. spanking.
I am a loving mom. I would never spank my kids without talking to them and making sure they understand why they get the disapline that we see fit. Believe me at 4 and 10 they dont get spanked very often anymore. We do a lot of talking and timeouts now. I do understand that there are a lot of people out there that take things to far. I was never so shocked to see a billboard that said a stove should only be used for cooking food. It took me a minute to understand the billboard because my mind does not work that way.
One thing I have learned from reading the posts on this website. You have to be very careful about what you say, some people take things to heart that were ment as light hearted.
I am sorry 8:56 if I offended you. My kids are never slapped and on the rare occasion that I do have to spank them like I said before they understand why it is being handed down. One other thing, I never never never spank when I am upset. I alway have a handle on the situation and in a calm frame of mind.
I guess my mind doesn't work that way either. What did the billboard mean?
I am very scard to even say here because if people dont know then it will give them an idea of what do to, but, I gues if your mind works this way then you already know. So I guess I will tell you.
I guess some people will use the stove to abuse a child. Put their hands on a hot burner and burn them. There is even a bill board with a picture of a broom closet with a say that only brooms and mops should be in here. Saying children should never be locked in a closet as punishment.
Re: The billboard about stoves. OMG, I assumed it meant don't use it for heat, which can be dangerous with a gas stove. That is sickening.
Yes it is very sickening. Someone had to explain it to me too. But, I am always looking for the good in people. Even if they appear bad I am still hoping for the best in everyone and thinking they would never hurt a child. I dont understand how anyone can look at a child and get so mad that they just shake or hit a child so hard that it hurts them real bad. I think someone should make a machine that we could put the people that hurt children and make it do to them what they did to the child. Not kill them because I think people that kill children should be forced to live with that knowledge. Maybe even make them look at a picture of that child everyday all day just to remind them least they forget. But, I think people should feel what a shaken or slapped baby or child feels when it is done to them.
Ok, I will get off my soapbox now. I just love children and think that nobody, I mean nobody should hurt them.
The billboard about the stove wasn't meant to imply child abuse. It was put up to tell people not to use it to heat their house. Especially, in the city sometimes the apartments get cold so people put on their ovens which is dangerous.
Nannies make poor substitutes for mommies.
We don't know the whole story. Maybe the kid mouthed off to the nanny while she was trying to verbally reprimand her for hitting the other child. I don't think slapping kids is a good idea as a rule, but if they're endangering themselves (e.g going to touch a hot stove) or if they're hurting someone else (e.g. hitting another child), then sometimes it's necessary to underscore the point with a slap to make sure the kid remembers not to do it again. When I was a kid, one time I hit another kid and my dad slapped me (on my hand) and said, "do you like it when I do that to you?" Of course I said no & then he said, "then don't do it" Kids aren't born with empathy, it has to be developed. And honestly, the question my dad asked me, underscored with the slap, helped me develop empathy and some respect for the Golden Rule.
12:35 again, oh & re: the billboard, yes, people do use stoves for heat. We did when I was a kid & the landlord shut off the heat in our apartment building for over a week in the dead of winter to try & drive rent control tenants out. It's dangerous to do so because it can be a fire hazard & it can cause carbon monoxide poisioning. My parents would only do it for brief periods to warm things up a bit during the day & not at all at night when we were sleeping. They had us layered in sweaters and gloves & hats on top of clothes during the day & on top of pajamas at night.
Kid does something mean and hurts another kid, kid gets a little slap to inflict a little pain and teach the lesson that it HURTS when you get poked/hit. This is how you get a well-behaved child and not a spoiled brat.
10:07
No, that's how you get a kid who will take a swing at the first person who says something he doesn't like. Just never his parents, because he will be AFRAID of them.
8:23 agreed.
I'm guessing 10:07 prefers to skip the slapping altogether and go straight to the head crushing and the arm breaking. THAT really teaches the little spoiled brats some empathy.
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