Received Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I was eating lunch at the Crabshell in Stamford, when a very tall African American women came in (long black hair) with a Caucasian little girl about 18 months old. She had straight brown hair and many of her teeth coming in. She was drinking a bottle of orange juice and a pink little outfit. The little girl was so cute and she reminded me of my little girl. About ten minutes into lunch a much older white male came in and sat at the table. This was clearly not their child and I am 100% sure they were on a rendezvous date. The two proceeded to feed each other at the table and smile at the little girl every once and a while. The nanny was very kind to her but this was totally inappropriate and not their child.
The nanny was wearing a red dress, red scull and cross bone slide shoes, red glasses and a red coach bag.
I am writing this because my daughter's care giver is wonderful and if I knew something like this was going on, she would be fired. I do not pay her to have dates with her boyfriend while on my daughter's precious time.
Sincerely,
Blood Boiling Dad
82 comments:
How could you be 100% sure this was a rendezvous date? Maybe the man was her husband and they met for lunch.
If they were both being attentive and kind to the child, who cares? And how in the world can you know what kind of "date" is was? That *could* be her husband, and there is no way to know if that is not her child. Bi-racial children can look caucasion, you know.
why dont we leave the responses to those of us with nannies. Is this appropriate?
N-O.
And if you were a good nanny, you would know this!
This isn't a bad posting. Maybe, you need to take your wife and daughter out more. Instead of looking at other couples with their children.
not everything is out right bad. this site is not called i saw your bad nanny. is it? the thought of sitting across from my nanny as she played footsie with her s.o. and sucked strawberries out of his hand makes me ill. i could not subject dd to such!
I am a nanny and my husband and I meet for lunch sometimes. My boss knows and is totally fine with it, the little guy I watch loves my husband. I do have to say that we don't make out or anything like that, but I doubt them feeding each other and making googly eyes bothered the little girl.
I like when I see couples showing affection towards one another. It shows the kids the strong family bond. When I go out with my husband we act silly together, and kiss and hug. I don't see it as something to be ashamed of. I want my kids to see how much we love one another and how much we love them too. Thats why we shower our children with hugs and kisses too.
This may not be a case of a child being mistreated by the caretaker, but it's still a justified post. If I had a nanny, I would want to know if she was on a date while working... working with my child, on my dime. Maybe she doesn't deserve to be fired, but definitely confronted about her behavior.
maybe that's the little girl's dad and he's having an affair with the nanny.
maybe the little girl is adopted.
maybe that is the boyfriend.
who cares? they weren't neglecting or hurting her
I'm not a prude. I have a robust sex life, but this is lunch. In the afternoon. At a family establishment. People who act like this are idiotic. Most people who behave overtly sexual or especially flirtatish in odd places and at odd times are cheating on their spouses. But even if not, I don't want to see it! Not at dinner. And especially not at lunch. Get a room.
I wish the person that this was written about saw this post. Maybe, she could tell us the whole story, and what her relationship is with the man and child.
Has their been anyone that has been written about respond to these ads?? I see all these accusations but just wondering if the parents or the nannies write in. Either to say thank you or thats not true.
3:07-
are you the child in question's parents?
are you the person who is paying the nanny's salary?
Then how is it up to you?
If this is in fact how it sounds then I would not be happy if I were the childs mother; however, we cannot really be sure. This could have been their child, could have been his child, could have been the nanny meeting her husband for lunch. Then again, could be the nanny meeting for a torrid affair on her employer's time. Hard to call.
Most people that say they have robust sex life are lying to themselves.
3:09
Shut up, you don't know who this woman was. By the way I am not 3:07.
I would never comment on my sex life except to denote that I am no prude. This behavior shows a lack of class. In addition to everything else.
Ro: I dont see where the OP says they were being "overtly sexual." You are exagerating the posting.
If these two people were of the same race, would you react that way?? Just wondering if you were more observant because of the different race.
Ro...the OP said they fed each other and smiled. If this is overtly sexual to you, I'd hate to see what a kiss might make you do!
3:15: Good Point.
Maybe, they are going to have a midday treat...
thanks 3:17
Adults feeding each other is sexual and flirtatious.
Who knows, who cares, this is nothing to write in about
yes,.search mamaroneck motel.
this midday lunch tryst could be a sign of things to come.
Maybe, his wife isn't giving him any at home. So he has a fling with the nanny. What can the poor guy do. He probably works all day while his lazy wife sits around and watches her soaps.
He is a man thats how they are.
Let them have their fun, if wife can't take care of him. Someone has too. If he is rich maybe hes taking care of her. Who could pass that up
If you don't have a nanny, perhaps you should refrain from commenting or suggesting what is or is not worth writing about.
If my nanny met her boyfriend for lunch, I would want to know. And I would hope she could maintain her composure during lunch. I agree that it is a sign of class, lack of class. And from my nanny, I expect more.
322 You reveal yourself as an ignorant idiot. Many wonderful, hot and regular looking nannies can pass up the advances of the rich men they work for. And most rich men have beautiful wives who can afford to maintain their looks.
You sound like you are on the fringes, eager eyes leering in, nose pressed up against the window. wishing and dreaming.
I heard stories up here in Bergen County of this all the time. The husbands sleeping with the nannies. Most of the nannies were 23-25 and the men were 38-40. I guess they couldn't resist. I was shocked at first, but maybe its more common up on the east coast.
Its 3:22 I like getting everyone angry on here. Just because a guy has a beautiful wife at home doesn't mean, he is satisfied with just her.
Maybe, invite the nanny over for a threesome
3:22: who could resist that? Ummm...someone with morals maybe.
That said, I do not believe this was the case with this nanny. I think it was likely much more innocent as the OP wants to thinks it is.
Yes, I was just joking around with the "who could resist".
This posting just made me laugh. I thought it was pretty stupid
I am a married nanny for two infants and am not only allowed to go out to lunch with my husband, but encouraged to!
My husband met with the family I work for early on and when the parents have date nights my husband is allowed to babysit with me and spend the night if it is an overnight. He works 4 long days a week, so often on Tuesday afternoon we will all go to lunch together, take the kids to the park, etc.--he loves the babies just as much as I do and also gets invited on all family trips.
OP--don't be too quick to judge. My other nanny friend does the same thing with her fiance. Granted, neither of us are all over each other when we go out with our partner, but we are "ALLOWED" to do so, having been given permission by our employers.
I am a black woman with a white husband and our children look white.
443, you must be very light skinned. That is very very uncommon.
But that is also not the point. I don't care what color you are or the child with you is, I can pretty much tell when the child is with a non parent.
This is so silly. How does the op know whether these 2 folks were married or not?? Perhaps they have a adopted a child??? Whatever...it doesnt sound like anything too earth shattering occurred here.
Perhaps OP...you could spend the time you spy on others with that beautiful little girl of yours.
I have met a lot of children with one African American/dark complected parent whose children look white. 2 examples: My bil is a fairly dark complected North African and two of his sons have white blonde curly hair and one has blue eyes. A friend of my son's has blonde curly hair and blue eyes and a fairly dark skinned AA mom. Any way it is hard to judge based on appearance. Also the child could have been a friend's who this lady was watching as a favor, a niece, etc.
Also, if the child was happy and the behavior was not innapropriate then what's the big deal?
i agree this post is ridiculous. how many Dads actually post here anyway??
i've taken my charge to lunch with my boyfriend on numerous occasions and my employers are fine with it. they love him and encourage us to get together during work days when we can. how do you know that this wasn't the case?
gut says fake sighting....or a jealous father.
Wow some of you are just SO full of it. 324 I'm glad you ripped into 322 she sounds like an ignorant cow...one of those rich UES wives who wishes her husband would spend more time with her then leering at the nanny, or out playing golf because he can't stand the site of her overly botoxed plastic body..at any rate, who the hell cares if this child belonged to the woman or man she was with? As the person who posted this stated, they were not neglecting the child in anyway. There are more serious problems to discuss instead of this nonsense.
forget what they did over lunch. you do realize that statistically, the babysitter's boyfriend (read the news) is and has 1) kicked a child to death, 2) raped a 4 year old, 3) raped a 10 year old boy 4) strangled a 7 year old, 5) shook a baby to death for crying. Need I go on?
I don't want my sitter spending time with my child with anyone I don't know. Got it?
Oh, are you playing that card 840? Well then, I do read the news sweetheart and the childs parent is fully capable of being a psychotic nutter as well as any tom, dick, or harry off the street. In addition- friends of the family, someone you trust are also capable of sexually molesting and abusing your child. So please if you are going to start preaching about statistics, do some investigating. The most dangerous person to your child is often times the person you wouldn't think twice about leaving your child with, the person you would never imagine doing anything harmful to your child-your husband, your friend, your neighbour, your in-laws, YOU. Wake up.
"sweetheart" and "wake up"
in one post?
I think what she meant to say is that we are already taking a risk when we leave our child in the care of a nanny. It is up to us as to whether or not we want to double said risk. All of those people that you mention, they are already there. It doesn't mean you go pall mall wild bringing in bums of the street to fraternize with your child.
Honestly? You have a problem with a well behaved child in a restaurant, sho is getting great affection from her caregiver, and being shown how two people in love act?
Get a life. My husband meets my charge and I for lunch all the time, and while we don't make out, we show affection in an appropriate way completely naturally and normally, and with out attention focused on him (my charge).
Sad to see someone having a problem with a child seeing what love actually is, without divorces, nasty arguments, and such involved and messing happiness up.
840...where do you get the statistics that show EVERY man has done this? You are insane.
I vote for Jealous guy as the OP on this one.
those are just some of the cases from 2007 involving the babysitter's boyfriend, daycare worker's boyfriend, nanny's boyfriend.
Claire I posted before (3:22). Hey I was just joking around, if you read my other statements below. This post was just over the top for me. Anyway, it doesn't hurt my feeling what anyone posts after I comment. I laugh at this whole website
Blood Boiling Dad should change his name to
Horny Dad that can't get laid
10:18:
Well aren't you the bad ass?
yes thats me. thanks
I'm sorry, but how do you know this wasn't the mom,aunt,cousin,babysitter for a day,personal tutor,anyone practically? She could have easily not have been the nanny,this is America,we're melting.
It's always interesting when posters talk about about what is and is not 'allowed' by nannies. It's funny really.
A nanny cannot go out to lunch?
A nanny cannot meet anyone for lunch?
What if a nanny runs into someone while out...should she tell them to 'go away'ypu can't be around my charge?
Is that what happens on your job posters/parents?
Has the fact that you 'employ' someone gotten to your heads?
Do you think you are now in control of their lives to tell them what they can/cannot do?
If you don't want your xhildren socializing - why pray tell are they allowed to go to parks?
Whats this? a 'no fun for the nanny deal'???
Nannies you better wake up and stop making other people live your lives for you..if a parent has such stringent ridiculous rules, then perhaps SHE should be the one taking care of her own children.
And do me a favor- don't meet your husbands for lunch either- afterall it is wrong for nannies to show affection, then it clearly wrong for you too.
Enough of this darned double standard.
This is not an extension of slavery- Get over yourselves
yo sharpton,
pack up your slavery card.
your argument makes so little sense.
the problem with nannies is that they are employed by a family to do a job. The family may consist of any components, but most def the child the nanny is caring for is a component of that family. The nanny's are getting away with treating the children in a way that is not okay, why? They don't understand that they WORK for the children. If you were a VP of marketing and took a VP of finance out to lunch, would you play footside under the table with your husband and feed him? Unlikely.
Highly unlikely. If nannies want to be treated like professionals, they need to act like professionals.
I am an RN at a hospital. I cannot leave the hospital on my lunch break. I work 12 hour shifts. Excuse me if my heart is not breaking for this nanny.
And I work in Stamford, so I can tell you that the activities observed today are more suitable for the Crabshell on a Friday night before closing.
11:53 PM
Move to NYC, I see nurses from the hospital in my hood in the park eating lunch and relaxing.
11:53, bitter much? Maybe you need a new line of work. Or a husband of your own.
My daughter looks WHITE but is mixed with hispanic. My husband is BLACK. He takes care of her while I am working. He gets many looks, stares and (mostly positive) comments through out his day. It is perhaps strange in America to see this sort of thing. It is more common than you think though and therefore I deduce this may have been her step-mother and not her nanny. Too bad we couldn't hear back from any of the parties involved and get down to the truth!! P.S. dont judge and never assume!!
Simple silly people spouting off about their heroic lineage bore me. As I previously stated, I am quite able to use my powers of deductive reasoning and assess whether a person in question is say a nanny, a mother or an older sibling.
This may be a bit too much for you to digest, but also realize that "in America", there exist pockets of people with great intelligence and reasoning capabilities. Person with common sense and the ability to pick up on the most minute details.
I will continue to assume, assess and judge with reckless disregard for the outcome. However, I do appreciate the time you took to detail the jagged lines of your family tree.
You are a perfect example of the flaws of this great country 3:36. You give "white people" a bad name. Thanks
11:53 seemed on target to me.
when it comes down to it, what you all think about this doesn't matter. it only matters what the parents of this little girl think, i wouldn't like, maybe you don't mind--but it doesn't matter... what do HER PARENTS think.. maybe they will see this and decide for themselves
Oh, 3:36 AM, hang it up. Your 500 dollar words will not make anyone believe the fact that you are of "Higher" Intelligence...especially when you use such language on a simple nanny spotting board. Save that for your senior thesis, or a report at work, or whatever you do.
The fact that you "think" you can tell if a kid is with her mommy or not, in America, makes you look like a fool. I'm black, my kid is Japanese, and white...everyday, I get "Oh, you're son is gorgeous",or,"Your mommy dresses you so nice." These people could have easily not addressed me as ay particular person, but because we live in America, the melting pot of the world, people can't tell anymore, and they don't make themselves look like idiots thinking they "just know" that the adult the child in with isn't the parent. Wake-up, smartness.
4:09 AM, I don't think this person gives white people a bad name, I think any race tries to discern such findings...they're just stupid to do so :).
Why do you assume 3:36 is white?
409?? Perhaps you are projecting your own issues.
None of this matters except what the parents who employ this nanny think. As for debates about who might possibly be able to pass as whose daughter, so annoying. This is just a longer extension of the "how do you know it was the nanny".
OP observed the nanny over a lunch period in a closed environment. I am guessing he got it right. If there was any hesitancy, he (or any of the other OPs that you question) would not even think to post it on a nanny blog!)
And unless you pay these hornitas salary, it really doesn't matter what you think.
If she was actually the nanny then I would like to work where she does. As a former nanny, I can not imagine ever being able to save enough for a Coach handbag.
I personally don't believe in lovey-dovey behavior on the job. So if this woman is a nanny, I'd say both adults were being innapropriate, regardless of their race. My point of view.
Now regarding the genetics debate, I am no expert, but I can tell you that nowadays you just can't tell who is whose biological or adopted child. So, for anyone to say "I can pretty much tell when the child is with a non parent", sounds like Apartheid police on the loose. It is not good for the children when we as adults focus on whether or not they belong to their guardians based on their phenotypical attributes. Don't get me started on Apartheid.
I wrote this comment because I wanted people that have nanny's to be aware of a possible situation that could happen. This had nothing to do with race. My nanny agreed with my point of view and told me to come to this website and post "my opinion".
Best regards,
My Blood is no longer Boiling-Dad
9:25:the point here being that it has not ever been established that this was, in fact, a nanny.
Funny that the dad (OP) supposedly reposts and the only thing he is offended by is that someone refered to him posting this due to the races of those involved. Funny that he doesnt seem to mind being called a jealous pervert for the most part!
who cares?
if the mother sees this and realizes someone thought she was the nanny, who cares? what happens? maybe in that case, the mother enrolls in some sort of etiquette school so she can mind her manners better when in public.
you may be right that it isn't a nanny, but who cares? if it was a nanny, the parent needs to know. and if they already know and are okay with it- where is the harm?
m-e-d-i-c-a-t-e
All the more reason why nannies should be required to wear a uniform.
Your nanny was probably afraid to disagree with you. What about your wife what did she think?
My wife thinks I was nuts to write this but I wanted other parents to be aware of what could happen.
BBDad
Your wife is quite to very fortunate as perceptive men make the best lovers.
4:59: WTF? Please learn English and then come back.
BBDad...like most men, you should listen to your wife better.
I think your wife has the brains in the family.
Dad's brains are down south...that's why he is spying on this woman out on a date.
459 sounds like english to me.
And this dad sounds hot.
this is one of the most stupidest posts i have read in a long time with a whole bunch of idiot women and one stupid ass man (supposedly)
3:59...yes the words are English, but in some strange random order that make no sense.
The Dad sounds hot? He sounds desperate and pathetic.
10:18
Get real!! You sound like the idiot from your posting. Go stick your head in the toilet
"go stick your head in a toilet"?
Why you sharp-witted scholar, you...
sweetie, you don't know that they didn't adopt her, or if it was his daughter and she is her step mother. Stop jumping to conclusions
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