Sunday

"Strange Encounter" at Lions Park in Upper Saddle River NJ

Received Sunday, July 15, 2007-Perspective & Opinion
I am a nanny who had a strange encounter with another nanny-and just wanted to get others views about it. This occurred on Friday, July 6 between 1:45-2:45 PM.

*Nanny- White- older- I assume maybe 50"s?- white/blond hair- turquoise hat/shirt- thin build. I know the name- but not sure if I should day it? Starts with a B
*Child: Boy 3 and a half- name starts with a J

When I entered the park- I noticed a woman laying on a blanket under a tree- her nose firmly buried in a magazine- I was playing with my charge on the slide- so I was facing her direction and noticed she never looked up once ( it was about 15 minutes)

I was there about a half hour- and the lady who was laying under the tree- comes over with Boy J- and says-to my charge- "Hi this is J- He'd like to play with you..... J say hi to ? - Looks at my charge and says-" What's your name?"
My charge says her name- and I say Hi to them- and J says- "What are you doing?"

My charge says we are making "birthday cakes" (out of the mulch) and J says can I play too- and my charge says, "Yes." Then, Nanny B walks away- and goes to lay down on the blanket under the tree and buries her nose in the magazine. Again....

The children play nicely- on the playground for about 15-20 minutes- and then my charge asks if we can go into the field near-by and pick flowers (actually the weeds...) and I say "Sure".
The little boy says- "I want to pick flowers too."
I tell him- "You have to go ask your mom."
and He says - "My mom is not here- she is out shopping- I am here with B my nanny."

I say- "Well if you are leaving the park you have to let her know first and tell her to come and keep an eye on you."

So he runs over and comes back with Nanny B- but my charge and I are already out in the field- Nanny B does not say anything to me...Nanny B starts roaming all over the field picking up garbage! While I stay by my charges side and J's side while we all pick the flowers. At times Nanny B is all the way across the field! She comes back with a bag of garbage and even one bag that was left behind with dog poop in it! I am a little ticked that she has gone off and is not keeping an eye on her charge. When she does come back- I say, "Your little boy is so cute."
She says "He's not my child I am his nanny B."
I say, "Yes, I am her nanny too." She says, "Yes I figured that."

Then walks away to go pick up more trash! I am ticked that she is not looking after J- but since my charge is enjoying his company-I allow it... After about half an hour - we are ready to leave- but I don't just want to leave J all alone.
so I walk across the field and say, "Bye."
She replies, "Oh you are leaving now?"
I say, "Yes"- and remind my charge to say good-bye and thank J for playing.

Was this weird or what? Do you think the parents would want to know that Nanny B is more interested in reading her mag- and picking up trash at the park then interacting or even keeping an eye on J?
Please send your nanny sightings in now.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why she was picking up garbage. That part isn't clear to me.
The other parts don't seem too weird, just a nanny trying to get you to take care of their kid!

Anonymous said...

Bad nanny, good environmentalist.

My nanny and I used to members of a large community garden in NYC. In order to be a member, you had to pick up a grocery size bag of trash per visit. Some days, of course, there was nothing around to pick up.

We'd wrap one plastic grocery bag around our hand to avoid getting the coodies and go to town. We both thought it was an excellent trade-off.

Oh the good old days. Now plastic grocery bags are known to be bad news for the environment.

Anonymous said...

9:11 again. Come to think of it, I was guilty of picking up trash at the beach yesterday. I had my kids with me.

nynanny said...

8:45, you don't think it's weird that another nanny was trying to get her to take care of her charge?! ummm hello, THAT'S HER JOB! unless of course that situation is not weird to you because you do this sort of thing all the time! i am so sick of all the bad nannies out there!

Anonymous said...

I think she was being sarcastic, no?

ble said...

Nice that she was picking up trash, but odd timing. Other than that, she was clearly just trying to get you to watch her charge, as was said before.

Perhaps she just wanted to look like she was doing SOMETHING and prefers trash pick-up to nanny-ing??? Weird.

Anonymous said...

I frequently have nannies check out when their charges join my gang in the playground, and I end up running a virtual play group while they veg. on the benches. This nanny sounds negligent rather than lazy though, as she was reading and not watching or engaging her child before she approached you. I think the parents would want to know.
A nanny

Anonymous said...

This is very common. Many nannies assume that they can "dump" their charges on other nannies at a moment's notice and it will be "okay". Of course, it's NOT.
You were much nicer to this nanny than I would have been. I'm a nanny and it's happened to me before and I always make it quite clear that I have my hands full with my own charges and am not able or willing to watch over theirs. The only time I'm willing to share duties is during a planned playdate. Otherwise, it's not an option.

Anonymous said...

Uh, folks,
don't you get it? The underpaid nanny, employed by greedy, stingy millionaires had to collect cans to cash in for extra cash to tide her over until the next payday. Geesh, do I havta figure everything out for you?

Anonymous said...

that is a possibility, I suppose, 1:17 but I doubt that is why. Her dereliction of duty seems puzzling. Pushing her charge off onto someone else to read magazines is probably not as strange as preferring to delve into dog shit and gather up used condoms over taking care of the child.

Anonymous said...

Odd. Picking the trash up does suggest that she isn't lazy. I live in an exclusive area of Harrison and I have noticed a nanny going through my recyclables. She is with the child- who is in the stroller- and she is pulling out bottles and cans. I want to say something to the nanny, perhaps even offer to set them aside for her. But what I am really curious is how little is she being paid that she has to go through refuse in broad daylight?

Anonymous said...

2:58:

We've been down this road with the post about the nanny on the breadline.

It's not about how much the person is getting paid. It goes beyond that. It's an illness of sorts.

My old landlord was like that, and she owned countless buildings in Manhattan. She was from the old country and couldn't face that fact that she wasn't starving anymore.

My own dad used to collect cans in retirement. He didn't need the money at all. He just never forgot The Great Depression.

Anonymous said...

9:47,
You need medication. Why jump down my throat? I didn't say it was right, I said it wasn't "weird."
Furthermore, I am not a nanny and if I were I would never do this.
Down, spot.

Elizabeth said...

I somehow doubt this nanny collects dogshit for extra $$$.

As for the laziness, there's enough info that an alert parent could spot her.

A Nanny in Baltimore said...

If one wants to earn a few extra $$ by collecting cans, then so be it. I do find it inappropriate that she is pawning her charge off on another nanny so she can do it. Honestly, if she is so into the environment, why give the charge a pair of gloves and get him involved. Teach then while they are still young and influencial.

Have these nannies never watched any dateline specials with child preditors? These people are sick and will got to extremes to lure a child in so they can molest and rape them.

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth, no one suggested that she collected dogshit for $$$'s. I'm sure she doesn't want to be seen just picking up cans and it's sort of a ruse to pick up miscellaneous trash as well and sort later. Poor thing.

Anonymous said...

O.k., while it sucks that she dumped her charge on you and you seem quite perturbed by it ... I can suggest that it should make you feel better that as you were left to take care of this little boy, try to look at it in a different perspective in that while she was picking up garbage, you had a small hand in helping the environment also, albeit indirectly. Try to look on the positive side - to help you get through being so bothered by it.
And yes, it was alittle weird. More so that she doesn't know you and you are watching the kid, than her just picking up the trash.
Next time, kindly suggest she (or whomever) join their charge ... or go to another area across the park, so that you don't have to deal with it.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the woman was just thinking that she didn't feel like cleaning dog shit off the bottom of her shoes or her charges shoes...hence picking that up along with the trash. Perhaps she is an environmentalist and if people hadn't been so damn ignorant in the first place to leave their trash all over the place she wouldn't feel the need to clean it up. Perhaps collecting and cashing in the cans is her "pay" for the good deed of cleaning up the field.

Regardless of whether this woman is or isn't a good person to the environment, she is shit for a nanny.

Anonymous said...

Or maybe because you, the OP, didn't let her know it was a problem, she assumed it was alright for you to cover for her. If you were getting so ticked, why did you let it go on so long? Are you one of those people who can't be assertive at the time, but goes home, dwells and becomes bitter?

I don't think she's shit for a nanny, she's just not a great one, and perhaps is not as socially astute as she should be. Even if she did take advantage of the situation, guess what? You LET HER. Your choice.

Anonymous said...

The can picking nanny is weird. I don't like weird people around my children.

ble said...

2:48....A nanny who isn't a great one IS shit for a nanny.

Don't innocent children deserve better????

Anonymous said...

Not only am I a nanny who would NEVER dream of letting the children I care for out of my site or let them hang out with strangers. But I am a mom as well and would be livid if I found out my children were not being better supervised.

As far as the trash picking goes, I dont think their is anything strange about that. Some people are just slobs, I dont want my children playing around other people's trash so if its laying around I will pick it up and throw it away. It gives me a chance to teach my children not to throw their trash around as well.

Anonymous said...

The can picker nanny is strange. When you pick up trash, do you abandon and ignore your children to do so?

Anonymous said...

1:13:

I can only speak for myself, but as a mother who does pick up trash in order to make my child's play environment cleaner, I usually have other people (friends or family) around me who will spot the kid while I'm tending to the task. If I don't, I keep a keen eye on the child while pick things up. Of course, I don't do it for hours. Maybe 3 or 4 minutes and I call it a day.

Anonymous said...

I am to OP...
and I let it go on- because the two children were playing nicely.
Also part of me felt bad that the little boy was not getting any attention and I just love all kids-
and enjoy interacting with them.

I am not sitting home stewing about it- believe me...
The reason I posted was because I had an opportunity to make a posting- where hopefully the parents or someone who knows them will get a heads up.

And this has happened to me before-
at the local libary-
it's sad that I work in an affluent area- but 99% of the families choose to hire illegals or au pairs- and what I see is usually what is posted in terms of bad nanny sightings.

Wish pepople would put more value on their childcare than on their homes and cars.

Anonymous said...

thanks for your post OP. You sound like a very level headed person who truly cares about children.

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Anonymous said...

I think everyone here missed the point.

It's not about why she is picking up trash, but when she is picking up trash. Obviously, trash picking was not the number one issue, even in the story we read, and we know that because prior to picking up trash she immersed in a magazine she was reading, so the trash was no that important at the time. However, of least importance here is the child in this nanny's care. She accepted the job, I am sure, on her own, and with the job come certain responsibilities, so she has to fulfill her duties as expected. If she does not like her job she can go and get a new job somewhere else.

That's the problem in the United States now, people have no responsibility, and if they do they do not feel accountable for the things they don't do, and if someone brings up the issue of accountability, immediately someone wants to sue.

Get real, do the job you were hired to do or get another job. It's not about the trash or the magazine, but rather the indifference that nanny showed towards her job and towards the child under her "care".

If I were those parents I would have her arrested for negligence.

If you know who this person is and you really care about your job as a nanny and about the children under the care of other nannies, then you'd better report this incident to the parents of the child so they can decide whether she stays or she goes. It's not your right to decide for them, and it's your responsibility to help a defenseless child.

Anonymous said...

You know what would've solved the whole problem and made her look like "Nanny of the Year"?

If she had asked the little boy to help her pick up some of the trash, specifically by making a game out of it.

The kid would've learned a valuable lesson, and the field would've looked beautiful!

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