Thursday

Finch Park in Ramsey, NJ

Received Thursday, July 12, 2007
I was at Finch Park at about 11 Am yesterday (7/11) and I saw a nanny who was in my opinion based on what I saw, mistreating the child. The child was a boy of about 2.4-2.9 months with brown hair that was ever so slightly wavy. He had a fair complexion and was wearing a yellow t-shirt with a blue print on it, surfboard and waves. I was just finished pushing my dd in the bucket swings when she came over and against his will stuffed him in the bucket swing. The boy said "These are baby swings I am not a baby" or words to such. The nanny said, "you're acting like a baby, here you go. Now I will push you like a baby". I continued walking away. I don't know how long she kept up like that as I was leaving the park. I could hear the child saying he wanted down. But she kept pushing him. The nanny was white, about 45-50 with short, curly brown hair and she wore glasses. She was wearing denim shorts that came about to the knee. The clothing she wore could only have been bought in the "women's section". She had on a white shirt with a matching denim print at the V of her shirt. Even though I witnessed this, quite next to her, it was only as I was walking home did I realize how much it bothered me. That may or may not make sense to you.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you sure she was the nanny and not mom or grandma? Not that it matters, it was still not kind treatment of the child.

Sometimes, when someone is frustrated it is hard, especially if the child is acting up, to not take it out on them, but we must remember they are little and try to find a better way to take charge of the situation.

While, this may be firing material (assuming she was the nanny), she definitely needs to be addressed on this issue and take steps to handle things differently.

Hopefully the parents see this. And hopefully she is not like this all the time.

Anonymous said...

here's an idea: mind your own damn business

Anonymous said...

I think what she said was very cruel (bad day or not, we should all at least attempt not to say things such as this to little children who don't grasp the reasoning skills we as adults posses.)

I think what bothers me even more than her words is the fact that she was forcing the child to swing against his will. Being forced to do any thing (even something as simple or minute as swinging) is very traumatic for the person being forced. We have to remember what it feels like to be small and powerless and how horrible it is to have this "gigantic-being" controlling us, deaf to our needs and desires when we are too small to protect our selves or do what we would like to do without assistance.

I'm not trying to blow this scenario way out of proportion (I wouldn't consider her horribly abusive, just a bit cruel and misguided...probably not good traits for a nanny and definitely not someone I would hire, but on the other end not a "death sentence" so to speak.) I'm just trying to give a different perspective on this scenario and zone in on the fact that this kind of behavior (as small as it may seem) does negatively effect children and unfortunately can even have lasting negative effects.

Signed,
Former Nanny and brand new Teacher!

Anonymous said...

Well put 3:33.

Anonymous said...

3:33 and 4:09...Agreed!

2:29...are you the nanny in question here????

Anonymous said...

WTF

Anonymous said...

good details, OP.
I understand how the sight could have bothered you more in retrospect.
Thanks for posting.

Anonymous said...

Demeaning a toddler by calling him a baby is abusive IMO, and forcing him to swing if he doesn't want to is mean. I guess she didn't want to run around the playground with him. Bad nanny, good post.
A nanny

Anonymous said...

What does which "section" she bought her clothes in have to do with anything? While I agree that forcing a child to do something against his will in an intentionally cruel or demeaning way is not the proper way to treat a child, I dont get the reference about her size.

Maddy Z said...

Here is the opinion of person who has over 8 years of experience in childcare . Worked in towns like Short Hills, Summit, Chatham, Morris town , Florham Park etc.If a parent has any particular requirements towards the nanny in terms of care you must address them right away instead of guessign and assuming nannies read your mind or have the same vision as you . Moreover , yes -mind your business .Person wasnt abusing the child , she wasnt beating him or yelling at him .You know , I came to this country about 15 years ago this culture of parenting in this country simply amazes me.Did that woman yell at the child ? No! Did she punch him , push him or neglected him while he was on the slide/swing ?No!So why in the world you post this rediculous article ? Too much time on your hands? Whats the purpose of this article ?!!! I came across this stupidity because I was just looking park in Ramsey area....lol.... "great " job ! You know what , my advise to you -go to post soviet countries or countries of Europe where kids are treated like adults. They grow thick skin and learnm how to be retional memebers of society .Instead we raise the children here with some emotional disabilities and fobias which nowhere in the world exists but in the US. Good luck in life .....lol