Sunday

...non-disclosure agreement?

Received Sunday, June 24, 2007
Has anyone had any luck having their nanny sign a non-disclosure agreement? I have a part-time housekeeper and a full-time nanny and I would like to have them sign a non disclosure agreement. What I would appreciate knowing from employers is the best way to approach this and from nannies, I am curious what your reaction would be. For reference, my housekeeper has been with us three years and my nanny for 9 months. I have looked on the Internet for the wording of one, I would be interested in hearing feedback.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a nanny, I would wonder what you had to hide.

Anonymous said...

As a nanny I have signed them and have no problem doing so.

annie said...

If you explain your motivation to the nanny plainly and clearly, I don't think you should have much of a problem if you're dealing with a reasonable person.

If I, myself, were asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement, I would be completely agreeable IF it went both ways. My employer would have to agree to not disclose any information about me to anyone else and would have to agree to suffer the same exact penalties, legal, monetary, etc., if they were to break the agreement. If they were willing to do for me what they want me to do for them, I'd be perfectly fine signing and would actually feel good about it.

Anonymous said...

10:40 ....
I would think there would be all kinds of private Info. a Nanny could come across:
Financial records
Medical records
Social Security Info.
... or maybe wifey had an affair and hubby forgave her? All of this is something to hide - and NOBODYs business!
I think it is very reasonable to ask for a nondisclosure agreement ... they are actually becoming the norm nowadays. I doubt she would be offended - why would she? Your just asking her to promise to keep her yap shut. Nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

I don't see this as a big deal, one way or the other. As an employer, I would cover my bases by making sure that I was properly paying federal and local taxes on the household employees (you don't want to be afraid to enforce the agreement because you yourself were not operating within the scope of law) and also making sure that the employees understood the gist of what they were signing.

I have a sort-of related problem where I didn't have a written work agreement with my nanny (she is the third we have had) and she is constantly claiming I made a promise to her that I did not (like increasing the number of paid sick days, extra paid vacation days, etc.). I am going to ask her to sign something stating the terms of her employment but it is annoying that it has to be so formal.

Anonymous said...

"It is annoying that it has to be so formal?" Give me a break, 12:31, how would you feel if your boss or your husband's boss didn't want to bother with the annoying formalities of putting things about your job stability and compensation in writing?

Anonymous said...

OP, I think that it is perfectly fine to ask a housekeeper and nanny to sign this agreement if you feel you need it. The only issue in your situation is that they have already worked for you a while. (Agreements like these would normally be arranged at the initial hire.) So, from their perspective, they may wonder why you are coming up with this now. They will probably be inclined to see it as related to something they've recently done, or related to themselves in some way. Try to explain it to them in such a way that they understand it does not have to do with something they've done wrong lately, and that it does not reflect on them personally.

Anonymous said...

I think most professional nannies are aware of NDAs, and would have no problem signing one. It is pretty much standard for high profile families.
Annie;
I love your suggestion to make it mutual. I disclose a lot of personal information about my background to prospective employers, which I feel they have a need to know in order to entrust me with their children. I don't appreciate it when another mom says something that shows she knows all about my life.
Parents:
It may seem harmless to discuss, maybe even brag about your nanny's background but she may not want her life to be an open book for the whole community.
A Nanny

Anonymous said...

Annie,
I think what you proposed would solve so many problems. It should go both ways! It should have always went both ways.

let's try again.

Shane said...

I would never have thought of it before, but now that I read annie's comment I wish that my boss and I had a mutual NDA. I'm leaving the family soon for a new opportunity and the mother has apparently been discussing my plans with lots of other moms in the neighborhood. I know she totally means well, but it's weird! I'm getting suggestions from all over the place about what I should do & what school I should go to & where I should move.

She didn't blab about me to be mean, I know that, but if I was talking to all these same people about her job and what she intends to do she would flip out I'm sure. You can say that the two aren't situations you should compare, but there's never really a reason to not treat people as you'd like to be treated yourself.

Anonymous said...

A non disclosure agreement does not mean that the nanny or babysitter can not speak about neglect or abuse of the child. The mandated reporter status of the nanny supercedes any non disclosure agreement.

sf said...

You could pay me to sign one. And then I would do it.

Allison said...

Pay you??

Anonymous said...

If I were a nanny i would not sign it because you are concerned about the nanny discussing your intimate details but yet you come on this board and discuss everyone elses info especially the nannies

Yaya said...

My bosses are both doctors so I had no problem signing a confidentiality agreement. Their concern was that I will come across patient info.

Anonymous said...

The center I used to teach preschool in had a confidentiality portion of the handbook, and you had to sign a paper saying that you have read and understand all of the terms in the handbook. However, I don't recall every being asked to sign a specific non-disclosure agreement.
I agree with annie: it should go both ways. Why not write in the contract that both parties agree not to disclose personal information?
I nannied for a family who blabbed to all their co-workers about me, the problems with my pregnancy, things about my husband etc. and I did not appreciate it.
It should go both ways. The employer also is allowed personal financial info, etc. of the nanny.

Anonymous said...

to yaya:
4:59 here.
The parents I nannied for were also both doctors. They used to tell me personal things about their patients all the time. Perhaps the doctors you work for are ethical, that does not mean all doctors are. Some doctors are really bad parents too. I can tell you that all the doctors I worked for cared about was getting to work on time, and their kids could have been bleeding out their eyes they still would not take them to the pedi.

Anonymous said...

If you didn't sign a non disclosure agreement prior to being hired, you have every right to be pissed about being presented with one now. I would most definitely sign it for a monetary exchange. Perhaps an economy car. Airline tickets. I don't know, what are you offering?

Anonymous said...

to the OP:
I am wondering why after nine months of employment you feel it is neccesary now.
What are you hiding, from her and from us?
Spill, please...

Anonymous said...

OP,
Sounds like you are trying to wing it on this non disclosure agreement. I would pay to consult with an attorney and have him draw it up. You can use the same agreement as new people come & go from your home but you want to make sure it is an airtight agreement. Our nanny has penned an article for a popular magazine about life inside of our home. And while she has used psuedonyms in place of our names, she used her real name. You have no idea how much sleep I have lost over this.

Anonymous said...

What did she say about your home?

Anonymous said...

12:33, How did you handle that? Please tell us more.

ble said...

This posting just have me 'curious' (as opposed to nosey!). Now not only do I want to know why the OP wants the ND to begin with, but I want to know what mag 12:33's nanny wrote for and what was said!

Anonymous said...

ble:
Me too!!

Anonymous said...

I have signed ND's with more then one family. I think that as long as both parties understand and agree to it is should not be an issue. It is not about hiding anything, it is about keeping your employers personal life from being an open book to the world. I have worked for high profile people and just very private people, it was not about hiding things it was more about comfort and safety of the family.

I do agree that you should have a attorney help write the agreement so that it says what you need and want it to say.

As nannies we know things about our employers that should not be shared with the outside world. we must keep private things private if a family feels that a ND will help insure this they should have it drawn up and signed.

Anonymous said...

A frenemy suggested to me she was going to have her new hire sign a non disclosure agreement. I about fell on the floor. It's rather presumptious, isn't it? To assume you are at all remotely interesting? I think this is just another thing people do so they can pretend they are high profile or akin to celebrities. Keep on dreamin'

Anonymous said...

to the frenemy lady@ 3:27,
I really am sick of your posts. You are the only one who uses that stupid term, so we know it's you.
As for the non-disclosure aggreement, I wouldn't have a problem signing one. I would ask that they write in, though, that it goes for them too. It's not about thinking you're "interesting." It's about making sure that the family's or the nanny's private life doesn't wind up as someone's book, with your dirty laundry making some pathetic gossip money.

Anonymous said...

Oh Pipe Down.
Seriously.
Most people are only interesting in their own minds.

Anonymous said...

I too am bothered by the term "frenemy" and have seen it on these boards for the first time. Does it mean a friend who is your enemy? If so, that is pretty stupid. Why would you hang out with someone who is your enemy?
Is that what it means, could someone enlighten me? Sorry for my ignorance, but my friends are all...friends.

ble said...

It basically means someone you hang out with or are nice to but don't really like. Usually you keep them around for some kind of gain on your part or because they are the type of person who could get you in trouble. Hope that helps.

Anonymous said...

I don't think having one is a problem, but it might be a better idea to include it in a nanny contract. Then, you have everything written down in one place, and it isn't like this one thing is the only thing you are all concerned about. Plus, it makes it crystal clear to both the family and nanny what boundaries and expectations are held of the other party.

Anonymous said...

My first thought is if you needed so much privacy for a non-disclose agreement, you should probably hire a lawyer to draft one for ya so that you can be certain its enforceable. What type of information do you want to protect?

Anonymous said...

hah... I would never sign a nda! how am I supposed to write my tell all book...

Housewife said...

Quick question, if the nanny did disclose how would you remedy it? Nannies aren't rich and if a book was published you can be sure it would take more than a few months to churn out.

To what end?

Is it to make a statement or is it in preparation for litigation.

Just asking.

Anonymous said...

what the heck would they be disclosing? this is among the stupidest ideas I've ever heard.

Kelly said...

I never had a problem signing one. Besides, any self-respecting nanny knows not to spread the news on info such as:

-Who is/was sleeping with who
-Family's security information
-How much money employer has or does not have
-If the tabloids are rally telling the truth about the alleged pregnancy test, or STD.
-Family's health information
-Cosmetic surgery etc

Now, the following information is worth revealing:
-If there is abuse of children/spouse/partner/pets(verbal, or otherwise)in the home
-If the nanny or other employee is being abused.

maggie said...

Generally speaking, if you have a mutually respectful relationship- you don't need a piece this piece of paper.

W.P.N said...

It is certainly at this this point strange for them to ask for you to sign this now. I am normally signing those before I even meet the families. Of course we would like it to go both ways. At the end of the day people blabber. I am sure my employers say all kinds of funny and odd things about me but, normally all in good standing. Maybe the family is about to drop a big secret bomb. I think families are concerned especially with high profile ones that you start dishing the dirt about them. I know I discuss thins with my closet friends so I am sure they do. In my experience this contract is purely for the families to feel that you are not going to write a book or start revealing in the playground the ins and outs of their personal life. I am also sure that they have become more paranoid with books and blogs and television shows that are coming out. There is a reality show floating around right now for nannies and their families! I have been approached many times to spill the beans and write it up or asked if I would be interested in television shows. the answer is no no no.

All I know is that if blah blah blah revealed stuff about me you can be rest assured I would consult my lawyer. You have to be careful these days. In any event I choose well and would feel that maybe the relationship is over is their is gossiping and bad mouthing hovering around.

Rule of my thumb is not to tell my families much about my personal life! They would collapse in horror! I have an exciting life outside of diapers, manners and taking little Johnny on trips to the natural history museum. It is my personal life and the families have theirs. There is no need to gab but, always be diplomatic and professional on the job.

The difficult part is when one if the parents start to reveal stuff you just do not want to know about or when you are put in a sticky icky position. Example; when Mummy is out of town the mice men are at play!

W.P.N

KAROLE TULLY said...

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