Roxbury Park in Beverly Hills, CA

Received Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Your little boy pleading with his nanny to help him on to a springy animal and other equipment. This occurred sometime between 11:00-12:00 PM today. (5/30). Your child white- dark hair, green eyes, and was wearing long, muted orangish cargo shorts with pockets, a khaki colored t-shirt with a silk screened eagle print on it, and uber trendy brown leather sandals. The nanny, Hispanic- had a long ponytail, worn high on her head, long straight dark hair inside, a smock style pinkish top and Capri denims with a thick cuff that was flipped up on both legs. The nanny may have been pregnant. The nanny plopped down and was reading a tattered paperback book that looked like a romance novel. The child did not cry when she refused to respond to him. Rather he sulked at the base of one of the spring animals and started to eat sand. This put me in a precarious position. I was near enough to put the child on to the animal myself, but it didn't feel right to touch another person's child.


Anonymous said...

I would have helped him. You could have looked at the nanny and said, "It's okay, I'll help him." or something like that. Did you at least get the kid to stop eating sand?

Anonymous said...

I would not have helped him. Granted, the nanny sounds like a bitch. However, I would never touch a strange child in a public place and I certainly would not help him onto a piece of playground equipment that he may be too little to use. And as a rule, if a child cannot get onto a piece of playground equipment by himself, it is NEVER safe for him to be on it at all. That's my rule: if you cannot get on it by yourself it's not safe. BUT that nanny should have done something else with him if that was the case: there are a million other things to do with him. She sounds lazy.

jmt said...

Isn't it sad and ridiculous that we've gotten to a place where no one wants to even touch another person's child?

Kelly said...

Quite often, I find myself stuck with a neglected child who finds me and my kids fun to play with. When the neglected child wants to get in the swing, or climb something, I ask him/her where mommy or nanny is, and I yell out to the guardian "Your child wants to go in the swing, is it okay if I help him/her?"

Unfortunately, some guardians are too stupid to realize that I am trying to tell them to help their child, so they simply take a few seconds from their cell phone or blackberry, and nodd 'yes' (for me to help their child).

While we are on the issue of negligent guardians, I keep seeing this mom who simply shows up at the playground, takes her 3 yr old kid out of the stroller, and lets her run loose (without even looking at her, seriously). The child goes around ransacking strollers, grabbing toys, going through people's bags. Whenever the kid swipes something from someone's bag or stroller, she runs to give it to her mother, who holds on to it (while on her cell phone) without asking where her daughter got the toy. When it's time to go, the mother calls the kid, puts her in the stroller (along with the pirated goodies), and off they go.

Anonymous said...'s not that people won't touch someone else's's what they'll get accused for if they do...

Anonymous said...

I would have asked the nanny if it was ok if I help him, and then hopefully she would have gotten off her lazy ass and done it herself.

Anonymous said...

7:16, you are making some sense, but at the same time does that mean a child should not be able to use the swings? I'm an adult and can hardly get on the swings sometimes, what about a child who is even shorter than me? My toddler loves the toddler swing, but he can't get himself into it, should I stop letting him swing?

Granted I am talking about my child not my charges but I think you're "rule" may be a bit much.

Anonymous said...

another lazy ass nanny slug sighting. People People People
When will you learn to hire good nannies? Stop employing these bargain basement airheads and pay attention to your child's needs.

Anonymous said...

I would have said something to the nanny about the sand.. that's just not healthy!

Anonymous said...

A toddler swing/baby swing is a swing that of course a child must be placed in. Because they are babies. Do you actually think that I was saying a baby/toddler should be able to get themselves into a baby/toddler swing? How dumb can you be? Those swings are made for children who cannot get themselves into a regular swing. Of course I meant equipment that children get themselves into and out of.
I'm glad you think I make some sense, because you make no sense at all.
Furthermore, if you can hardly fit your large behind into a swing then maybe you need to think about doing some crunches. Your kids will thank you for it because they will have more active play with you rather than merely sitting in a swing while you eat cheetos.

Anonymous said...

12:01 I never said anything about being large, its more of short leg issue, but thanks for your blinded assumptions! The only reason you think I make no sense is because I am sarcastically replying to your nonsense. Nice try though.
I'm glad to hear that I can still put my toddler in a swing without breaking your rules. And just so you remember you said "And as a rule, if a child cannot get onto a piece of playground equipment by himself, it is NEVER safe for him to be on it at all. That's my rule: if you cannot get on it by yourself it's not safe." and there is no part in there you say it is ok for it to be a swing you say it is NEVER safe if they can't get on by themselves. I also put my son on springy animals and stand next to him while he plats, they are high from the ground and any child that is able to get themselves onto these small springy toys would really be to big for them anyway. By your rule no one can use them because the big kids are to big and the small kids can't reach. Try playing/ helping your kids and they can enjoy the entire park!

Lindi said...

Not to be contrary, but I am a preschool teacher at a Bright Horizons, and we have a center-wide policy that no child should be placed on playground equipment. (We don't have swings because we are not allowed to as they are unsafe.) We have some big plastic tubes that the preschoolers climb on and the incoming older toddlers always want us to put them on them but we are not allowed. If they cannot get on them safely then they probably cannot get off. It is actually a rule at most accredited preschools and daycares.
I agree with the poster in question that playground equipment should be age-appropriate.
The whole argument about baby swings seems slightly ridiculous, too because obviously a baby cannot get into one of those swings! I hate regular swings personally: I cannot tell you how many times I have been at a playground and have seen children of all ages get hurt on them.
Anyway, just my two cents!
p.s. if you're fat, don't be ashamed, just excersise.

Anonymous said...

But swings are fun even though they do lead to many injuries. My sister broke her arm falling off of a swing and she was basically a couch potato and a pansy. It's hard to believe someone like her could of got her arm broken.

Anonymous said...

Schools and daycares have those rules to avoid being sued. A parent or nanny can judge their child's abilities, and spot them.
12:01 PM
Your opinions would get more respect if you weren't so mean. (I'm not the poster you attacked)

lindi said...

I partly disagree with the comment about daycares having rules so that they don't get sued. Of course there is a liability factor, I agree with that. But that is not the only reason. I know that personally the daycare I work at is top-notch and the teachers and directors really care about the kids. As I said, I work there and I also babysit for many of the families. I have learned so much about childcare from working there. The rules are first and foremost to protect the kids. I do not believe that if there were no fear of being sued that the teachers and directors would let the kids do whatever they want.

Anonymous said...

1201, you are a real piece of work. Do not have contact with children. They'll pick up your bad habits.

nanny bree said...

Why don't you stick to the issue and pen an intelligent comeback? Since you can't or wont, I will do it for you! (Thank me later.)

The issues at hand are:
1. Touching/helping a child you do not know in a park and
2. Putting children on things that are too big for them.

I wouldn't touch another child that I did not know or pick them up. Call me crazy, but to do otherwise is just foolish considering the stupidity of many people.

I know that it is important to encourage children to take risks, and I do encourage my charges to do so. But we have to remember how many playground accidents there are every year in our country.
I tend to agree that a child should not be playing on equipment that is too big for them. The problem with "helping" them on or encouraging them to try it is that they think they can do it. Toddlers and older babies simply don't have the capacity to understand holding on to something and shouldn't be expected to remember how. That is not an age-appropriate expectation. If they are out with sitter or friends and another adult who doesn't know them as well puts them on it, they fall off and there is an accident. That is the reasoning behind that theory.

Play should ALWAYS be supervised. But it only takes a second for something to happen. If a mom has her back turned for a second and a kind stranger places your child on a spring animal or a slide, it only takes a second for them to get seriously injured.

I think people on this board spend too much time insulting each other and not enough time examining the issues at hand. You are all worse than the kids at time.

Anonymous said...

I said have THOSE rules (against helping children onto equipment) not all rules. Sorry for the confusion. 11:19

Anonymous said...

Lindi- what do you do at recess? You aren't pushing kids on swings, you aren't helping them on the jungle gym. Do you do anything?

Anonymous said...

Since when did everyone start raising such little pansies? I'm not advocating plopping a two year old on a springy toy and leaving him there to fall off, but what's the harm in helping him up and holding him while he bounces?

lindi said...

anon at 10:17
I assume you don't know much about accredited preschools and your kids attend a sub-par one or else you are a SAHM and have no idea how to entertain them in an educational and fun way.
We do many things at free play time although it is not called "recess": we are interacting with the children, talking to them, singing with them, making things in the sand, chasing each other, drawing with chalk, READING BOOKS (new idea for you?) playing at water table, and many other things they love.
You also sound very rude. Is there any need to be nasty just because someone disagrees with you? You should act more like an adult, if you are one. We should all be setting examples for the kids, not insulting people. That's pretty sad.

Anonymous said...

I think it's sad that people would accuse others' kids of being "pansies" for whatever reason. Everybody raises their kids differently. Get with the times: we don't call our kids sissies or pansies anymore: I'll bet you flip out if you son wants to play with a baby doll or push a toy carriage.

Anonymous said...

No offense Lindi, but you shouldn't be pointing fingers at anon 10:17 for being rude, since you were quite rude to me (226) with your 1030 post, again assuming I'm fat an need to exercise... you came off pretty much like a dick. I wouldn't hire someone like you to watch my child.

On the post subject: I think it is different when there is 1 adult to several children (at a preschool); I also don't think OP should have put someone else's child up high, BUT the "rule" that I shouldn't put my child on a springy animal and stand with him, my hand on his back, making crazy noises and helping him bounce--to have a good time--is silly. It is different when you are talking about someone else's child that you are not in charge of, or if you are a preschool teacher who is watching many kids at once and can't handle it. But as a parent with a child, or a nanny with a single child, why not?

Though I disagree with cheesepower's name calling, he/ she makes a good point about helping and interacting with children!

Anonymous said...

To the fat lady:
I believe the poster in question said "IF" you are fat, excercise.
Furthermore, why would you not hire someone like her? If your nanny or daycare provider thinks you are fat, you wouldn't know about it. I'm curious to know what "someone like you" ,means. Someone who doesn't share your opinions? Someone who encourages excersise? Someone who speculates that you are fat? A preschool teacher who holds safety in high regard?
Explain yourself! And I'm also curious about those "crazy noises."
Do you have Tourette's? Is that why you use the word d**k? It's not a very nice word. At least poster in question didn't swear. That's so low-class. Unless of course you do have Tourette's. If you do, I apologize.
As far as your needing to excersise, let's get real, lady. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. We can't see you but with the average number of people being obese in our society, you probably do need to hit the gym.

lindi said...

Oh, my goodness! 9:38 you sure do have a fresh mouth! I hope you don't speak that way in front of your kids!
And I apologize, although as the above poster said, I did say that if you were fat you should excersise: sorry if I hurt your feelings! You are right, we should practice what we preach and not be insensitive to anyone, even a nameless faceless person on the internet.
As far as not hiring someone like me: well, that's your opinion. Luckily I will never be in the position of needing a job from you!
:)cheers and goodnight all!

Anonymous said...

The problem is that you people make this website a game of insulting and name calling, you have to keep up if you want to enjoy it. For some reason I don't have the right to share my opinion, but Lindi and others do. This site isn't about insulting each other it's about helping children who need it. I simply posted about being a bad mother for letting my child have a good time and play. But now I'm fat and need to exercise (which everyone, fat or not, should-and I do incase you are going to ask) and I have Tourette's. Funny when I first came on the site I was none of these things, but now I am.... interesting.
And to answer your question, the noises I make usually go with the toy, there is a bulldozer so I do some "vroom, vroom"'s and other vehicle noises, there is a few animals and I make the sounds that go with those animals as well. Again it seems that you do not think it is ok for me to have fun with my son- I'm breaking your rules by using the toys at the park, making noises and having a blast. Apparently because I PLAY with my son and don't hire someone to sit and watch him do nothing at the playground (which is designed for ages up to 5) because he is to little to do it without help, I am a crazy fat mother with Tourette's. WOW. Thanks for enlightening me.

ro said...

actually 957, you come across as slim, stylish and hip to me.


Anonymous said...

To tourettes,
Don't feel bad, I'm sure there is a support group that encompasses all those factors.
There is a wonderful tourette's documentary on HBO. You should check it out. It was excellent.

Anonymous said...

9:58 AM
You sound like a fun mom to me.
My charges love my animal voices.
A nanny

1236 said...

Nanny Bree, my jab at you was not about anything other than your rude "if your fat" and "eating your cheetos" comments. Don't teach childen to make fun of overweight people. Saddly, there are a lot of people out there who have weight issues. I personally have issues with the last 6lb. of baby weight I just can't get rid of, and I find myself offended by you. While I'm lucky to only have to worry about what to many is an insignificant amount of weight, there are many out there battling the buldge. It's rude come on here and belittle others. But again, theses days, it's all about do as I say, not as I do. Grow up.

Anonymous said...

that or if a guy is a teacher at a center and the guy is changing diapers or taking them to the bathroom or giving hugs and such, youd freak out and say PEDOPHILE !! even if you said what you said above.
as for Lindi, i know all about accredited centers, as for policy and for them not getting sued, some of those policies even at those accredited centers are quite nil espeically when they say in their philosophies that they are commited to children's development, diversity, etc. yet will not allow male teachers to change diapers, take them to the bathroom, or give them ettiquite lessons on how to hug the kids.EVEN if they change the kids in full view of the adults, (heck why wouldnt i ?!) and are visible when taking them to the bathroom, the only time, parents gave me weird looks or questioned anythiung was when i told them i couldnt change diapers or the such, they did this whenever they overheard me asking another co-worker to go change a child, take them to the b-room, or whenver i gave just a pat on the back to a child who came running up to me and grabbed my legs( i mostly worked with the two-4 year olds, cause thats where i was needed the most) and were especially hurt whenever i said "im sorry i cant hug you ill get in trouble" try tell ing that to a 2 year old, or pushing them away!!. I quit preschool mostly due to this bull, and went to nannying, mind you it was harder to find work, but the families i worked with still sing my praises much like the parents at the schools did and a few of my co-workers did. I found out pretty much that they wanted to hire me mostly becasue of the fact to stay accredited. let me tell you only ONE school was a TRUE accredited preschool that let me do my job and eliminated this un-do stress. I unfortunatly h ad to quit in two weeks cause the schedule conflicted with my class schedule, so please when you speak of "saftey policies" especially with bright horizons, spare me and these parents that. if your a true teacher you wouldnt say that,a nd a true accredted center would NOT say that they support diversity and discriminate against a gender, especially since NAEYC strives to end this, yet only the NH chpater eliminates policies such as this so that not to encourage or teach children to fear men. in other words like you said practice what you preach.

i mean you are teaching kids that it doesnt matter if your a boy or a girl you can do anyting right?.... sooo about this playgorund thing? if your encouraging them to explore.. ever heard of scaffolding?

oh and those activites, ie interacting with the kids, such as dramatic play and duirong those times whenever a child said no boys allowed id bust out the miss ashley getup (shes a character i made up to promote gender equality in an activity i previously did, shes a southern belle) to let them pretend they are a girl, or playing tag, etc. each time i did them, i got looks and "can you come in here for a min" all the time. why.. cause they were such good teachers..... yes there was a few of those types of parents but they then came and watched me in action and all that subsided. and no im not bsing. this is all true.

oh goody here comes the well i had blah blah blah work at preschools for such and such years and he never was treated this way, you probably were just way too weird!!..


even now bright horizons wants me back, but i told them, until that policy is removed, and I am treated equally, without any of those types of things being done to me, and the parents are also included in the decsion making process then i will come back. otherwise thank you but no.

also if you work for bright horizons how do you babysit for the families? i explicityly remember the pad sayhing that it is forbidden that i babysit for the famileis to keep it professional.

. The rules are first and foremost to protect the kids. I do not believe that if there were no fear of being sued that the teachers and directors would let the kids do whatever they want. riiight just like that male issue. huh. take some ECE courses, which i certainly hope you have if not how did you get the j ob?! so in other words those RULES are there to protect your selves, not the kids, ie that policy with males even thogh parents find that quite odd and discriminatroy as do I. the feild has launched several campaigns such as worthy wage etc. to make the feild better and get it more recognized. BUT it wont, because of policies like that, because of the elvel of discrimination, no males are recruited. becasue of fear of that. if more centers remove it. youll find alot more respect.

yeah off topic but whenver preschool teachers mention that especially in regards to nannying... it gets me!