Sunday

Worst Nanny Experiences - Part II

To read Part I of this feature, please click here

This is the second and final part of the Worst Nanny Experiences Feature.

11) Never make the mistake of interviewing with parents just after the birth of their first child. Perhaps they are just too happy. Maybe it is the ecstasy of being a new parent, maybe it is C section drugs. I don’t know but I definitely got a wrong read on the parents, especially the mother. My third nanny job I got and was able to show lots of good references. I was to take care of just one baby. This would be a cakewalk for me because one child didn't compare to the 4 I had at my last job. The mom didn't want me to start much earlier than when she went back to work because she wanted her bonding time. I came 4 hours a week until she went back to work. 4 hours a week I spent barely taking care of the child but more helping her with errands. This was not a problem since they were paying my full salary. Yes they were generous. I can say that they were easily very generous. The baby was beautiful. He wasn't a crier either. Just a real good baby. And so my job started. Mom called alot. Warning sign #1. When I say a lot, I mean about twice every 3 hours. Mom also provided me a cell phone. She asked me to send her pictured of the baby at least 2x day. Okay I could do that. Mom had asked me originally to jot down notes of the baby's day so she would know when he had his last bottle or what. That seemed pretty reasonable. Within a week, Mom who now starts to show herself as a total corporate micromanager type was grating on my nerves. The child was to be dressed in a certain outfit. Even though the baby was still sleeping when she left for work. So not only was I told what to dress the child in on a particular day, but she called to confirm the child was dressed in that outfit! I was to record what time the baby woke up. Ok. And what was in the baby's diaper. And how much the baby ate at every feeding. For example, 12:15 PM, 4 ounces made, 3 1/2 ounces consumed. Sound like enough? No. Then she thought it might be helpful if I recorded how many "burps" I got. I was also supposed to record the # of bowel movements the baby had. Not just how many, but the size and consistency of them. Do you see where this is going? Mom and Dad had went out of their way to hire an experienced nanny and for what? Mom scheduled the baby's entire day. Feeding I understand, napping even. But suggested activities. She even scheduled suggested times for me to make my personal phone calls or take a break. She suggested songs I should sing to the child while feeding him and then songs I should sing to the child while rocking him to sleep! Only an idiot would need this kind of direction. I was getting nothing out of the job. A monkey could have done it. So I gave notice. The parents freaked out. They threatened to sue me for breach of contract and called me a "corrupt individual". The end.

12) Nanny B here, a frequent blogger. I have my own horror story that I think will beat them all out of the park.

My first nanny position was in Maryland where I worked for a married couple with 4 boys. Mom worked alot and dad was in the military overseas. After 2 months of working there, mom started dating not 1 but 2 different men. On several occasions she would have one guy sleep over one night and the other guy sleep over the next night. What made it worse is that my room was next to hers and I could hear all the awful things being done (sex isn't awful but when your trying to sleep it is). It got to the point when mom wasn't even coming home anymore and I found out she had rented out her own place somewhere else and started moving her stuff there. The highlight came one day when one of the boyfriends ran over the dog and killed it and she left me there to explain to these 4 boys what had happened to their dog and then called me up later to ask me if I could call boyfriend #2 and find out where he was so she could take boyfriend #1 to a restaurant. Dad ended up coming home about a month after all this took place but then I started feeling trapped in the house because he would take the car and be gone all week and I was left with the boys in the house until the weekend. The final straw came when they locked me in the house one night and took away the keys so I couldn't even get back in. I managed to have a friend of theirs come pick me up and get my stuff and I went to her place for a week until I could get on a bus and come home. It was horrible!


13) My worst nanny job wasn't really all that bad. I moved from Texas to work in a suburb of NYC for a woman who had achieved a lot of fame & recognition in her "field" and her husband who worked in some sort of finance business. They had two children. The husband was one of those men that was just drop dead good looking. I doubt anyone could disagree with that. He was tall, built, with dark blonde hair and an easy smile. Probably the best looking man I have ever personally known. Having said that, he didn't act like he was the best looking man. He was quite down to earth, involved with his children, in love with his wife and always pleasant to me. The wife who was attractive, but not especially so was the problem. The nanny job was fine. What wasn't fine was that the mother would have a bad dream about her husband cheating on her or leaving or, or even after watching the movie Indecent Proposal and she would show upon my doorstep sobbing hysterically. I lived in a gate house on the property. The woman was very nearly inconsolable. I would have to talk her down and tell her how much he loved her and this happened probably once a month. Other times, when we were out to dinner even, and after learning about her issues, I could see her tense up anytime an especially attractive waitress was serving us. I was with the family for about 19 months and the woman told me all of her secrets and fears. What made this job so awful is that at a summer barbecue I attended with her, I met one of her old friends now living in Denver. After introducing me to her friend and telling her what a great nanny I was and what a great friend I had been to her, I thanked her and walked away. It was then I heard the mother, this friend I consoled so many nights say "X is the perfect nanny; no man would ever look twice at her". I don't know why I let it, but it hurt me to the core. I quit shortly after for no other reason then I fell out of the love with the job and the whole situation.


14) I have worked for a nanny for about 10 families, all over the United States. I recently took a job for a family on the East Coast. This is an example of where nannies got to be as on guard of wrong first impressions as employers (continue reading Worst Nanny Experiences Part II- #11-20)

70 comments:

Anonymous said...

As an employer of nannies and with a fairly succesful track record of good hires and relationships, I have to say these stories made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

#11:

I had my nanny record the baby's entire day in a book, and that included bowel movements (inc consistency), milk consumed, nap times and length of naps, etc. It's actually very important information, because in the first few months of a baby's life the pediatrician will always ask questions relevent to the above. A non-involved mother will not have the answers. Any involved mother (even if it's via the nanny) will. Come to think of it, my nanny was experienced enough to make the suggestion before I had a chance to make the request. We were definitely on the same page with that. It's standard stuff. You are obvoiusly not experienced with newborns.

I agree that the 2x a day photos and excessive phone calls are a bit over the top. Not my style at all, and a pain int he rear for you.

Regarding the outfits, so what? What was so difficult about putting a child in an outfit the mother selected? The only time I've ever interfered with a nanny's choice is when I've had to, and I didn't feel guilty about doing so on occasion.

Maybe you're the type who would have a child sitting around in a diaper and an overly stained t-shirt during a playgroup when there's a fresh change of clothes sitting 2 feet away???? The type definitely exists -- I've seen them.

Anonymous said...

9:52, are you laughing at how badly the nannies got treated, or that you are not as crazy as some of these employers? i have only had 2 nanny jobs, and after reading these realize how very lucky i am to have had good experiences with both of them! i can't wait to go in to work tomorrow and tell my bosses how happy i am that they are normal and appreciate me!

Rachel said...

#11 Was the baby formula fed, or was he getting pumped milk?

The number of poos and consistancy is important to note, as it can indicate a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance.

I used to me a nanny- and it would have made me INSANE. Now I'm a lactation consultant and mother- and I understand why this is important to know.

From my perspective, this mom wanted to be home with her kiddo... but probably HAD to work, thus she was overly involved.

Anonymous said...

Keeping a log for infants is standard practice, for both parents and nannies. It is important to know how much the baby ate, and when. It is also important to record BMs. When I arrive, the log the parents have kept helps me know when the next feeding is due, if the last feeding was less than usual, she may be hungry sooner etc. When and how long she last napped lets me know about how soon she will be ready for a nap. As peds. usually ask about BMs, and the quantity of milk consumption it is helpful to have a record. I do agree your boss was over the top with the pictures, calls and dictating outfits. That would annoy me. Especially as babies spit up, weather changes etc. they have to be changed frequently. I think I can decide what clothes are appropriate.
A nanny

Anonymous said...

I would be mortified to treat my nanny like the parents listed here! How sad!

1028 you're cheeky.

Anonymous said...

#11 is the least offensive of all of these.

Anonymous said...

I have to say I find it odd that people would make comments on the first of these. The nanny clearly attempted to tolerate the mother's need to micromanage everything. She said she understood the bowel movemt recording, the bottle but come on! Anyone who tells you what songs to sing to a child wants to CONTROL you. I freaking hate puppets almost as much as I hate puppetmasters.

Anonymous said...

150 K a year nanny. That was funny as hell!

Anonymous said...

to the nanny whose boss said she was a great pick for a nanny because men never look twice at her.

That sounds like a very mean thing to say. However I have friends who are drop dead gorgeous and they just put out a vibe that they are closed off to other men. Either because they are married, not interested in the married men they are around or lesbian.

Don't take it personally. I am sure you are a beautiful person. You have a beautiful heart to have been so concerned by the wife's distress.

GL

Mel said...

#20 was the most unbelievable! Who are these people? LOL!

linda said...

As a nanny who previously couldn't stand the idea of this blog, thank you for printing the other side of the spectrum. Yes there are bad nannies out there. And you should never tolerate someone who is unkind to your child or puts your child in danger, but nannies too have experienced their horror stories.

Anonymous said...

I didn't really realize nannies would have to deal with such things. I don't know why, but it never occured to me.

Anonymous said...

I am one of the nannies who submitted her story here. And I have to say, I am kind of disappointed that I have not garnered a single comment!

Anonymous said...

I am a nanny and I would have to say that if I thought, let alone had actual proof of the parents using drugs, especially in the house I would have to report it to the authorities. Even if it would cost me the job...There is a very important thing in Family Law reffered to as BIC - Best Interested of the Child. Drug use is not acceptable for anyone.

Anonymous said...

as i read it, only one parent was using drugs. doesn't that matter? one rational parent and one not?

Anonymous said...

8:33 PM If one parent is using, and leaving drugs around the house, those children are at risk, and the other parent is not rational, but an enabler. She is not putting her children first.

Anonymous said...

pardon my naivety, but what does one smoke out of a soda can?

Anonymous said...

About the infant log, I am an infant caregiver and it is standard to keep a log. (Although I have never had a parent actually ask me to write down how many burps!) The rest of the things do normally go in a log. It is standard. That being said, it does sound like the parents were crazy. And if they were upset at your leaving, tough shit: this is America, a free country. Many parents feel that they "own" their nannies.
I once interviewed with a family from India who actually wanted me to sign a contract saying that I would give six weeks notice if I left and also stay until they found a replacement. I politely explained to them that in America, you don't need to give six weeks notice, you actually don't need to give any, two weeks to a month is just polite but not a law...
stupid people.

jmt said...

If you poke a hole in a beer can then pop the top it shoots out fast (what's that called?) and you have to drink the whole thing. I know that crack pipes can be made from plastic soda bottles. I'm sure the party dad knew every trick in the book.
I wondered myself what I would do if I repeatedly found drugs in the house where the kids could get them. Would I tell the mother who was working all the time or just call the police? I think the mother knows and is in denial. So I would just call the police. She had plenty of years to deal with her husband before. The husband wouldn't even rate any sympathy or consideration. Only the kids matter.

Anonymous said...

I kept a journal for my own new born!! I am a stay at home mom and looking to start hiring a nanny. I was so tired and nursing i could not remember when her last poop was or how much/little. Have to know this stuff if you are nursing. Otherwise there is no way to tell if they are eating right. Or you. I would still want my nanny to keep a journal for me and the doctor if need be. Reading these made me realize that I am goingt o treat my nanny good and let her "find" her routein as well as long as we communicate:)

Anonymous said...

I vote # 18 as worst. It has all the elements of a good scandal. An illicit affair, a lothario like husband, drugs, alcohol, the three year old with the binky....

oh my

lauren said...

"Baby Nurses" keep a log.
I don't think the nanny was against the basic log. She was even okay with taking 2 pics of the baby a day! But she is right, if you are going to be that sort of controlling parent and you don't want a nanny that thinks for herself, spare yourself some change and hire an off the rack sort. Myself, I want my children in the best possible care all of the time. If it cannot be myself or my husband, then only the highest caliber of hands on, full charge nanny will do!

Anonymous said...

the beer can thing is called shotgunning.

Anonymous said...

My nannies are told to give me one month's notice, and vice versa (I would give 1 month's severence pay). I'm on my 3rd nanny in 6 years (the 1st to left to pursue greener pastures) and this has worked out beautifully. No one took issue with it and gave proper notice when they left.

It takes longer than 2 weeks to find a nanny! 4 weeks is cutting it!

Anonymous said...

Oh, your nannies "are told" are they?

Anonymous said...

My contract with the family I work for states that I need to give them 3 weeks and they need to give me 3 weeks if we are ending the contract early...I feel that is definitely fair!

Anonymous said...

Yes, that's right. My nannies are told. They are told and they agree. If they don't agree, I would not hire them. If I had a nanny who agreed to the terms and then changed her mind and didn't give proper notice, I would never give her a reference without mentioning that she did this. Workign mothers don't want to hire irresponsible people. Luckily, I've never been in that situation. My nannies have been great, and they have been treated wonderfully by me in return.

At least 4 weeks notice is very fair.

Anonymous said...

"yes that's right, my nannies are told"

Isn't there a more respectful way of phrasing this? I get your point but the employer/employee thing is a two way street dependant on respect.

Anonymous said...

In a perfect world, 4 weeks notice would be ideal. However, these postings are about nightmare positions and the fact that these women gave notice is commendable. As a nanny, I conduct myself in a certain way and expect my employers to do the same. If I found myself in any of the posted positions, I can't guarantee I wouldn't head for the hills without a second thought!

Anonymous said...

i feel like i just read the nanny diaries part 2. that was a lot of info.

Anonymous said...

Yes, sometimes it does take more than two weeks to find the right nanny. However, that does not mean that you should have to give a month's notice. If a nanny chose to sign a contract, that is her choice. I would never sign a contract that said I was obligated to give more than two weeks notice. Sometimes it is just not possible. Everyone must do what is right for their own family, and a nanny should put herself first before a family she is not even related to. If I had done a great job in their employment for any length of time, and only gave two weeks notice, I would expect a good reference. If a parent will not give a good reference to a nanny merely because they cannot stick around for a month or more, putting their life on hold for someone else's family, then that parent is unethical and unfair and not someone I would like to work for.

Anonymous said...

2:34:

I give my nannies plenty of respect. I am upfront about what I expect from them. It has always worked in my favor to be upfront. I not only verbally tell them before I hire them what I expect, but I give it to them in writing too.

Cuts down on a lot of misunderstanding. Nanny #1 who was shocked that she had to keep a log would not have been shocked at all had she agreed to take a job with me.

I lay everything out for an employee to see upfront.

Anonymous said...

851,
I don't think nanny #11 would have been any less okay with the log had her employer told her about it in advance. Her employer is a precise example of what is wrong with corporate America and all the waste that goes on. A Basic log- that makes sense. Calling to confirm that the child is wearing the outfit and writing down the # of burps, that is detracting from the time that the nanny could actually be doing something life altering, educating or stimulating with the child. This match would never work because some corporate schmucks want no one in their employ but non thinkers. Question nothing. Just do. Don't think for yourself. Never use common sense. Just give the higher ups one more thing to have a conference or board meeting about!
This doesn't happen in Japan, I'll tell you that!

Anonymous said...

I am the employer of two nannies. One part time and one full time. I think it would be ideal if a nanny were able to give 4 weeks should she decide to quit, but I don't understand how that is at all practical. I think alot of employers try to pigeon hole their nannies in to positions so they can't or won't leave. And on the flip side, you say you would give your nanny four weeks notice if you fired her? Are you kidding? If I fired my nanny, it would be because she was either not good to the children or somehow dishonest, in which case she would be fired right away. I think it is really hypocritical for an employer to take a haughty tone and suggest that this arrangement would ever be mutually beneficial. When a nanny decides to quit her position, she doesn't get severence, so what does she get from staying on for those four weeks? Perhaps you are in the habbit of hiring idiotic nannies who can't make heads or tails or perhaps cower in fear at the the thought of a "contract".

You just pissed me off.

Anonymous said...

9:19 with the 2 nannies:

If I quit my job in corporate America, I am required to to give 4 weeks notice. If I don't, there goes my 7 year glowing reference down the tubes. I think it's fair, because my job cannot be filled within a few days or a couple of weeks. Ditto for a nanny position.

If you are a working parent, your livelihood depends upon a nanny who is responsible. If you are not a working parent and you have nannies just for relief purposes, that is another issue entirely and there is no earthly reason why one couldn't be more flexible. That is not my scenario.

Now on to the topic of me paying severence. You made a silly assumption. I would not pay my nanny severence if I *FIRED* her. If I *FIRED* her it would be because of gross misconduct, and gross misconduct is never rewarded.

However, if I decided to change childcare situations (like putting my child in daycare), yes -- I would pay her for 4 weeks. Her livelihood also depends on mine, and it's not easy for nannies to find a new suitable, respectable family at the drop of a hat.

If the nanny was not guilty of gross misconduct but wasn't working out for lesser reasons, I would still go ahead and pay her for 4 weeks.

It's a mutual respect thing happening in my home. There are no nannies "idiotic" cowering in any corners, I can assure you of that.

You can treat your 2 nannies however you like. It's not my concern. What IS my concern is that the employer/employee relationship IN MY HOME is built on mutual respect and understanding.

maggie said...

The stories were all interesting to read. Maybe you should have broken them down in to 5 stories per post?

Anonymous said...

Oh my god! Did you report thatwomean to Child Protective services? That breaks my heart!!

Anonymous said...

Whoah!! This gives me great insight into what happens to nannies and families! I just have one thing that is bothering me! The nanny that worked for that mom that was NEVER home and would never see her kids...did you report her to the authorities? My heart is breaking for those children!

Anonymous said...

which woman?
what # is that?
this should have been reported to CPS while she was pregnant.

Anonymous said...

i question the stability of any mother that buys "sprayable" cheese.
You said East Coast, but I am thinking you were down south. So backwoods!

Anonymous said...

#16.
Tell us more.
What was wrong with this mother?
Was she a widow?
Was she on drugs?
What kind of work does she do?
Have you ever ran in to her since you left?

Anonymous said...

and BUYING BULLETS?
Gun shopping-
legally, wouldn't you be an accessory to murder
or an accessory to conspiracy????

who are these people????

Anonymous said...

I'm the nanny who posted #16, the story about the mother who avoided contact with her children.

To answer the specific questions:

No, I did not call CPS on her. I never witnessed physical abuse of any sort, and there is no law that mothers must love their children. The children were always well cared for -- by me or by other nannies or by relatives. I don't think she was a good mother...but I also don't think CPS could have done anything.

She was not a widow. She was a Single Mother by Choice, meaning she conceived the children via artificial insemination with anonymous donor sperm. She was very proud of this -- the fact that she was able to "have it all" by herself. It took her ten years and millions of dollars to conceive the children via IVF -- which I (and others) always found ironic given her lack of interest in them once they were born. She frequently referred to the children as her "million dollar babies". This bragging to her clients is what led to the demands that I dress the children up and bring them to the office to parade them around. "I need to show them off," she would say.

What was wrong with her? I don't know. I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I definitely think that there was something medically/chemically wrong with her -- she frequently admitted that she was "not right". She showed some signs of bipolar disorder and some signs of borderline personality disorder... but again, I'm not able to diagnose her. The prolonged fertility treatments were her explanation for her emotional problems. She often told me that years of injectible hormones had irrevocably changed her personality.

I won't mention her exact profession but I will say that she was an executive in a medical-related field.

Until recently, I still lived in the same area where she lives with the children. Not only did I run into them from time to time, I also wound up befriending some of her later nannies after they too left. I also knew many people who had contact with them via school, extra-curriculars, etc.

All of this information comes from reliable sources, but I didn't see any of it first hand.

By all accounts, the children (who are now tweens) are hellions. In the six years since I left, they have been through countless nannies (most last 2-3 months) and they are now basically blacklisted by the nanny community. Stories of this family are so legendary that the every in the nanny community of this town has heard them and refuses to work for her.

I actually had it pretty easy compared to later nannies. While I worked there, the mother was crazy but the children were sweet. There was already signs of discipline problems with the oldest boy but he wasn't awful. The little ones were the light of my life at the time. I utterly adored them. Unfortunately, years of emotional neglect from their mother and a string of nannies who stayed just long enough to bond with them before leaving took their toll. All of the children have emotional and behavioral problems. At least one nanny quit because the children physically attacked her again and again without so much as chastisement from their mother. Another told me children (at the time ages 6-9) would defecate and urinate on the floor to get attention.

It makes sense to me, given the circumstances, that the children would be emotionally disturbed and have behavioral problems. But it still devestates me. Even though I know leaving was the right decision for me, it took me years to deal with the guilt. And I still miss the sweet babies that they were, and regret that they turned out the way they did. I hope that it is not too late for them, and that someone will show them the unconditional love they obviously need.

Anonymous said...

re: "my nannies are told"

my boss quivers when I don't say good morning to her. she is always asking me if I am okay and what I need.
the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. don't you know it?

A. McGregor said...

to the nanny who had such an experience with the invitro (non)mother-
You weren't specific when as to what years you were there. But there are crucial years in a child's development where if they have structure, support and love, they will be okay. Experts disagree as to what precisely these formative years are. Some people say they are 0-3, others say 3-7, others 0-7. One day those children will be adults and every kindness that you had a chance to show those children lives somewhere in their hearts. I work with troubled teenagers and it is amazing to see this spark of light that still shines in some of these teenagers who have witnessed gruesome things, abuse, drug abuse, etc. I am constantly shocked by the seemingly out of character displays of compassion and kindness that pierce through outbursts and agitation. I often wonder, where did that child learn that kindness. And it is something that they can build on or we- as professionals can build on as long as that light is there, the child has hope!

Anonymous said...

These stories are worth money!

Anonymous said...

I know how these nannies feel...i worked with a family of 5 children the parents didnt care about their kids becuae they had a 6th on the way...there was never enough food in the house...no phone in the house...anytime i would say something, the mother especially was good at telling lies and then quickly changing the subject...Some people just shouldnt have children.

Anonymous said...

if there was never enough food, maybe they shouldn't have had a nanny??????

Anonymous said...

To the first "nanny"seriously,You need help.You might have experience with children, but that doesn't mean you know what you're doing, even in child develpoment 101 20 years of research prove that repetion of songs,activities etc. improves infants memory,speech, and learning abilities, so singing her the same song for the same activity everyday was a great idea!!!!!!! to say that a parent is too anal with their own child for simply asking you to monitor the babies eating habbits and bowel movements... is obsurd, especially when that is the first thing a pediatrician recommends, especially for new and nervous parents... some parents want to make sure they are doing the best possible for there child. especially if it's their first one, how do you know they hadn't miscarried, or had a child die before and maybe were just taking precautions.Even if they didn't every person considers safety a different way. obviously you don't have kids and if you do i'm sure you leave them to random people they are probably dirty and don't wear shoes. ok maybe the outfit thing was a little overboard, i'll give you that.. but just because she called every few hours you acuse her of being psychotic. unless the child is 6 or 7, you want to take as many precautions with their child. and posting a message on an international website about it, is very childish and immature. your judgement is obviously a little off, and possibly you're mental health...When a family welcomes you into their personal life and leave you to care for the life they created, as a trusted care giver you respect their wishes, as long as it does not affect their health or well being. maybe you should condsider a new profession! For the other horror stories, i didn't read them, but hopefully they are worth other reader's time!

Anonymous said...

8:36,
What is wrong with you?
Are you on Drugs?
Why so angry?
You make no sense!

Anonymous said...

36 PM You are very defensive, did she strike a nerve? Actually, you sound like her employer!

jmt said...

In defense of the OP, she repeatedly said that she was fine with the detailed food logs, poop logs, etc. It was when the micromanaging got weird and excessive that she took exception. A lot of people are glossing over that fact from her post and vilifying her for it.
The mom really sounds like she isn't ready to leave her child and wants to exert as much control as possible from afar in a situation where you by definition have given up that control of your precious to a caretaker. It's sad.

Anonymous said...

I think 836 has a valid point. While the mom from the first post was a little over the top, nothing asked of the nanny was outlandish. Who knows how long the parents tried having a baby. It would explain their determination to not miss a moment. No one here, including the OP, knows the circumstances.

BUT, 836, I think you went to far to suggest the nanny has mental issues. She admitted she was bored with the job, and used to having more children than just one to take care of. That is no reason to give up working with children. She isn't a bad nanny, just an underused one with that particular family. And what's with the reference to leaving "her" children, if she has any, with barefoot dirty people? That statement seems very juvinile to me. Are you kidding?

Anonymous said...

barefoot dirty people?
where is that?

Anonymous said...

jmt, you always come across with logical and sound opinions. Thank you. It's a relief to have one person post without using terms like 'idiot' or other such nonsense. Just curious, are you a mom? nanny? neither? If you're any of the above, you are probably a very level headeded GOOD influance on the children in your life. Can't say that about a lot of others who post here.

Anonymous said...

Alot of the comments are idiotic.
I appreciate when people call a spade a spade. Having said that, I also love reading the wise & introspective JMT comments. I miss L too! Even though I disagreed with everything she said.

Anonymous said...

1203, 836 says "obviously you don't have kids and if you do I'm sure you leave them to random people they are probably dirty and don't wear shoes"

Is that way off base or am I just being surly?

Anonymous said...

Thanks.
I missed that entirely.
That's plain stupid.

Anonymous said...

I agree about L. I always got a laugh at the storms that would kick up when L posts.

And yes, a lot of comments are idiotic. I get very angry when people post crap about working moms not loving their children or that stay-at-home moms are lazy. I enjoyed the segment on Oprah about the whole mom thing, and thought of this site. Ah, to live in a perfect world....

Anonymous said...

I have had the same experience working for NY/NJ families. I'm from a big city in the Midwest and even in this big city, I meet friendlier and more honest people here then I ever met in NY/NJ. It is so sad that people have children and then don't even raise them. I'm expecting my first child and I'm sad that I will have to find childcare so I can work. I want to be with my children, not pass them off to someone else. I love being a nanny,but I have to say that being taken advantage of is the number one duty of being a nanny.

jmt said...

Thanks for the compliments on my posts. I'm reluctant to say too much about myself, but I will say that I am neither a mom (sigh) nor a nanny. I am lucky enough to sit for and help raise my nephew since he was an infant. I am also a massage therapist, and have a long background in biology. Hence the health and science stuff.
As for keeping an even tone, I try to imagine saying the things I type face to face. I can't believe how some people on this blog talk to one another.
Be well.

Anonymous said...

JMT, your nephew is one lucky boy. And I wish more people would not type the crap they do. It is very obnoxious when the name calling starts. Take care!

Anonymous said...

reading all the comments....about the nanny asked to record everything. Sorry folks that is just ridiculous. I raised two daughters from birth thru college on my own. It is ridiculous and has no proven medical need. That woman was a pscho. She needed to stay home and raise her own child.
I think nannys on the whole are doing these parents a huge favor. It is very difficult to raise children. But the outcome is not always that great. The parents have no relationship with the child. You cannot wait until your child is a teenager to start a relationship. You have to start from day one or your child will not respect you. If you want children then you need to stay home and raise them. They did not ask to be born. You are being selfish when you hire a Nanny and then expect and expect and then refuse to pay. The pay being offered now to nannies is insane. I paid a babysitter to watch my five year old until I came from work and I paid her $350 a week, this was in 1980. I see posts where parents are offering that in 2007. They are out of their mind.

psy said...

and I wonder why so many mothers whine, "he/she (the child) has no respect for me"

And then they sit back and demand respect.

Respect is Earned!

Anonymous said...

This is to number 11 and the people that don't get her point.
I am a nanny living in a similar situation than this girl right now, the difference is that the mom doesn't work and doesn't live the house either but just follows me everywhere I go in the house. She doesn't help me with the baby, she just sits by me and watches whatever I am doing. It's annoying to hear what she has to say when it comes to feeding, bathing or whatever. It's frustrating to be ean experienced nanny hired to do exactly as you are told and still have to listen to all the drama of the mom that doesn't even know how to be a mom and how miserable her life is being rich and not having a job....it's so depressing, I feel so bad for her. Come on parents, hire a nanny and just let her do her job or get a teenager that you can teach how to do things and boss around.

Anonymous said...

Here are the basics: Agree on and sign an employment contract before you ever start working. Then give your employers a daily note about how their child is doing. Also keep a weekly journal for them. You only need to summarize each week in the journal. Communicate with your employers. Ask for a monthly review during the first 3 months. Expect them to treat you with respect, pay you well and on-time, and honor the work you do. Reciprocate by doing your very best every day, following the family's schedule and being on-time as often as humanly possible.
Don't forget to enjoy what you do. Any employer who micromanages you, spies on you, verbally abuses you, demeans you or constantly disregards the rules of your contract is a JERK who does not deserve to have a quality nanny!!! If you are miserable, FIND ANOTHER JOB ASAP and give 2 weeks notice.

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have been a nanny for years, I have had some great jobs and some awful ones, I think anyone in this business can relate. The reason I am writing this is not about a job that I got or even wanted but one I recently applied and interviewed for before quickly running away. I found this man on a community message board, he was looking for a full time live out nanny for his 4 boys, no cleaning involved, $17/hour, doesn't sound too bad right?? Well wrong lol.. We exchanged a few email and decided to do a phone interview first "as not to waste his time" He started by asking me about my living arrangements? "Did I have a boyfriend?" "How long have been together?" "were we serious?" "Was I going to get hired then turn around and get "knocked up" like most nannies do?" He then proceeded to ask me if I was active, I fumbled around giving him an answer and he says "well are you fit or are you fat?" being a larger girl I had no idea how to answer this, not that I did or should have. Next he tells me that if I am used to some "cushy ass job where you sit on your ass and watch little girls play with barbies then this isn't the job for me" he continues on telling me his nanny needs to get out on the felid/ice/ basket ball court and play contact sports with his boys, "were not looking for any sissy bullshit around here" so after all this I am basically speechless, not that I could get an word in edge wise. So he says he would like to meet, not at his house in case I am a "nut job" but perhaps at a coffee shop, "that way if your fat and ugly I can slip out the back door" Safe to say I skipped the interview, after taking to some nanny friends, turns out this guy has been looking for 4 years, I wonder why? lol

Amberle said...

I have been a nanny for about four years for four different families (three part-time and now a full-time) and I just have to thank God after reading these posts because my families are amazing. I am still in touch with all of them and babysit for their kids from time to time. The parents all love their kids and wanted to spend time with them.
The contract idea is incredible. The family I am currently working for has a seven-page contract for nannies to sign, but everything is laid out - all expectations, house rules, pay and overtime, hours...literally everything. In addition, when I started the parents said that they believe in being open so that any problems either of us have, we could discuss and figure out a common solution. It has been such a blessing to know that if I have a problem, I can go to the mom and say here's my problem, what's a good solution and the mom will listen and come up with a good solution, and then vice versa. There is no pent-up issues because of this - I never have to feel like the parents are upset over something I did but they don't want to mention it.
So, if you are a family looking to hire a nanny, try those ideas. Believe me, relations will be a ton better if everyone feels as though there is communication happening