Friday

Fatburger at the Palisades Mall in West Nyack, NY

Received Friday, February 16, 2007
I was at the Palisades Mall just before noon today and grabbing a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed a nanny unable to control the child she was with. The nanny was on her cellphone and eating food from Fatburger (which is one of the places there in the food court). The child was a little boy still bundled up in a blue coat with the blue hood of the coat up covering his hair. The child was sitting at the little table with her and he had a bag of what I guess were cheez its or other time of small square orange cracker that he was eating out of a baggy. The nanny was engrossed in her food and phone. The child was not that interested in his crackers. He would start to slide off the chair and then want to walk towards the big ferris wheel. She called out to him each time and he came back. The third time or so, she got angry and plopped him down in a rough manner in his chair. Keep in mind, the nanny was not talking to the child at all. He was perhaps 3 years old. The conversation the nanny had continued to go on. The boy got up another time and she got up again. This time she picked him up and with both hands "plunked" him in to his seat with a thud. She then pointed her finger and phone at him and said sharply "I aint tellin you again". Her voice was harsh and ugly. The child slowly started to cry. I was finishing my lunch at went to toss it in the can and stopped and said "Hey buddy, are you ok". He didn't look up at me. Actually having stopped and asked him that caused him to cry more. Not loud, just sadly. The nanny held her phone two inches from her ear and said "Do I know you". As I started to answer she said "No that's right, I don't know you. And you don't know me. And this aint none of your business". Now I felt stuck. I wasn't making the situation any better for the child. I simply said, "I'm so sorry to have interrupted your phonecall". Right away she started talking to the person on the other end of the phone, "do you believe that" and then she started describing me in the most unflattering way as I walked away. Mind you, all of the time never responding to the child. I know there is no shortage of good nannies out there. Just look! This nanny was tall, thin and had a very distinct hair style. Her natural haircolor would have been black or brown and she had dyed it a shade of orange. The style was straight and sleek from the root and for half of the way down and then crimped for the last 4 inches or so. The hair was combed tight to the head and worn to one side.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

OP,I have to tell you I would have actually done more than that nanny if you ionterfered with me and my charges!! She was right! You did not know her,the child or the situation and you should have minded your own business. The child was told several times to ..."the nanny called out to the child"..and he still got up and left his chair. At 3 years old he is able to understand "the rules". He should have stayed in huis seat until the nanny ok'd him getting up.

Anonymous said...

As a nanny i am often running errands to the mall for my boss..returning a blouse or buying a gift. Sometimes I too stop for lunch . My charges often have to sit and wait as they are vegetarians and I am not. I also bring a snack for them as the nanny mentioned did.They know that they are to sit and wait for me whiler I eat. As a nanny I do not have a set lunch time nor do i alwys get a lunch time!! This nanny was acting like any mommy/aunt/caregiver would act while trying to eat lunch with a child that refuses to listen! You are a quack!!

Anonymous said...

Two responses only- both defending the nanny. Disgusting. A three year old isn't going to know to sit still for a protracted amount of time with a bag of crackers. If nanny was just eating her lunch, perhaps she could talk to the child. Then perhaps the child would stay at the table! And even if the child didn't listen 8 times, stop excusing a nanny or anyone for roughing up a child.

I would have done more if I was this OP. I certainly wouldn't have taken that S--T from some creton who doesn't know how to treat a child. Even rats know how to treat their young!

I love Steve Bartelstein said...

I haven't commented in awhile. I am shocked that someone could defend this, let alone a nanny. That doesn't make nannies as a whole look good. A good nanny should be able to have lunch and discipline a child without being mean or abusive.

Anonymous said...

what is with that giant opal ring that steve bartelstein wears?

Anonymous said...

Once again I am left wondering...how did you know this was a nanny and not a mother or sibling. In any case though I do agree that the kid was treated poorly though so kudos to you for saying something.

Laura said...

i jsut wonder what her hair looked like, its doesnt sound to..rad.

Anonymous said...

Palisades Mall in W. Nyack? Maybe it was a Harsh Nanny Convention.

My nanny takes my child with her to run errands for her own family. I am sure my son has misbehaved or follow her instructions. It is the way that the nanny deals with a simple child's misbehavior that clearly illuminated her character.

Anonymous said...

I am a nanny and this is not a way to handle a child.

Also to talk that rudely like that infront of an impressionable child is inappropriate and not setting a good example.

I always carry in a my big "nanny bad" crayons and paper and a few othe r little things incase something comes up (like errands or a lunch stop) where the child would need to be entertained.

Anonymous said...

there was a ferris wheel at the mall? wicked.

Anonymous said...

I am appalled at the first two responses from nannies. "They know that they are to sit and wait for me while I eat." The nanny in the post was harsh, and did not engage the child. There is no excuse for making a three year old sit bored with nothing to do, while you eat and chat on the phone. My charges frequently have to wait with me while a sibling is in a class. I bring books, paper and crayons, and play with them. My time is being paid for after all. It is called work. Adults aren't expected to sit and wait with nothing to do, in any Dr.s office there are magazines, waiting around on jury duty you can read, phone, even use a laptop.
I do think the parents have to take some of the blame for hiring her however. It is obvious from her grammar that she is not a highly qualified nanny.
A nanny

Anonymous said...

As a professional educator, I am utterly appalled at the nanny's response to you. Shame on her...she is not only hired to care for the child/children, she is supposed to be setting a positive example for her "charges".
Her employers should look into their HIRED HELP

Anonymous said...

The first two responses are sad and pathetic. Hope you go into another line of work more suitable for yourselves, such as cleaning toilets or hauling trash.

Anonymous said...

i am glad you not only posted this but said something. i can understand why the nanny was pissed you called her out on her sickening behavior. even though this blog ideas is at times invasive if more people thought strangers would jump in when children were being mistreated-
LESS CHILDREN WOULD BE MISTREATED

Anonymous said...

The first 2 posters are crackheads.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for that little boy and good for you, OP, for speaking up. I am NEVER getting a nanny; thank goodness my husband and I can work and can take of our kids at the same time. Thank goodness my girls aren't subject to the kind of day-to-day mind-numbing, soul-destroying treatment these kids under the care of nannies are. It is horrific - yes, horrific - and pathetic. Even the ones who "aren't so bad", sullenly ignoring the kid who wants to go see the ferris wheel. Awful, awful. These kids should be with someone who LOVES them, harsh words or not - someone LOVING. These kids don't have it and the next generation will suffer. Check your nannies carefully, fellow lawyers and other professionals - - send your sisters and friends out to monitor. My heart breaks for these kids.

Signed, Working mom with stay-at-home Dad

Anonymous said...

anonymous at 11:19,
Beyond the shadow of well said!
I completely agree.

Anonymous said...

This phone-a-holic nanny orange head should be ashamed, but you know what? Insensitive, it's-just-a -job child caretakers such as she, wouldn't be a bit ashamed.

We are watching, us the public. Nannies beware.

Anonymous said...

was there really a ferris wheel at the mall? I just can't get over that...

Anonymous said...

"Nannies, beware?" Don't make me laugh. Instead of watching us, maybe you should be watching your own kids. And if you don't have kids, then you should be getting a life...those of us who are great nannies say watch all you want, sister. You are an elitist loser.

Anonymous said...

To the first two posters, get a life.

HI I love Steve!!! Welcome back!!!

910, I totally agree!

1119, sadly, while I agree with whay you are saying, there are a lot of children out there who would be better off with nannies. I know a mom who shuts out her children. They are home with her 24/7, and it is not a good situation. When her son was a newborn, she couldn't stand his loud breathing and/or crying at night, so she would pull his bassanet into the bathroom, turn on the fan and shut the door. UGH!!! She has no nuturing bone in her body until her children turn three and can play by themselves. Then they are "good" and not "naughty." I try to be a good infulence, but am about to throw up my hands.

OP, thank you. Maybe being confronted might put a thought into her overprocessed head and hint she is doing something wrong. Or hopefully this site does it's job and alerts the childs parents or someone else that knows the family. I just hope to goodness that the "nanny" was not the mom. Any chance of that?

Anonymous said...

1129, wow, maybe the moms should watch their own kids. Then nannies like you would be out of work...oh shuks!! What a loss!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, the nanny was wrong to be on the phone. But, as a nanny, I can tell you that when someone - a stragner - approaches your charge you do get defensive. I did this just last week at the grocery store (although my charge is a 12 week old who was sleeping in her car seat in the cart) I surely don't trust strangers to get close to my charges - it only takes a spilt second for a child to be kidnapped.

Anonymous said...

11:34 nannies will never be out of work: there will always be a great deal of moms who value their jobs more than their kids.

Anonymous said...

Or value both, dumb ass.

Anonymous said...

Why would a good nanny be so defensive? Like I said, nannies beware. The public is watching ....
and by the way, I watched my own kids but feel every person should watch out for the weak and defenseless. So, laugh all you want while doing a good job of taking care of your charges.

Anonymous said...

636 it's not fair to say working moms love their jobs more than their children. Why do so many people come down on working mothers? Personally, I stay home full time but have a nanny who helps out twice a week. How many moms out there have to work? Yes, some choose to work for the joy their jobs bring to them, and as I've said before, they are setting a great example to their children. But don't assume their children are of no value to them.

Anonymous said...

This is really sad. I hope the parents see this post and fire her. They are paying her to take good care of their child. And to all you people who are going to say "maybe she doesn't get paid enough"...that is bs. If the nanny doesn't think she is getting paid enough then she should find a different job, not make the innocent child suffer. She obviously does not like her job, or kids for that matter...so why is she a nanny?

Anonymous said...

Simple, 955. She's a nanny, 'cuz she likes the job and the money, not necessarily the kid.

A said...

The first thing you could have done is take the nanny's photo with your cell phone. You also could have written down detailed descriptions of both of them to post on this web site. If you choose to get involved in a situation like this know that you could be making the situation worse for the child who is at the mercy of an abusive and stupid person.

Anonymous said...

To the first two respondents - you are sad excuses of human beings and if you realy are nannies that gives the nannies a terrible name.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this wasn't the childs nanny, but his mother.

jmt said...

Hi A - word of caution: if you try to take a picture of a woman like this, do it surreptitiously. If she sees you, you know she'll go all tasmanian devil on you! LOL

I wouldn't worry about short term abuse of this kid getting worse by angering this beast, I'd want her gone forever out of his life. Obviously, she can't help taking out her hissy fits on the poor kid already, so do whatever you have to to tell the parents.

Anonymous said...

It is not acceptable for me to spend my work day on personal calls, so why do so many nannies feel it is acceptable. (and yes, I have to work through lunch every day too). Any nanny who spends more than 5 minutes on the phone when she should be paying attention to the child she is being paid to engage should be fired. And I agree "maybe she's not getting paid enough" is never valid. If she agreed to her terms of employment than she needs to hold up her end of the bargain. Not doing the job she agreed to do do is dishonest.

Anonymous said...

I being a nanny myself. When i am taking the 3 yr old out i make sure that i always have snacks, fruits, toys ,books etc whatever i might need,it sound like a lot of stuff but it helps to keep him happy, just in case i end up in a sitution like this, so he would not be bored. While i eat, or make a phone call.