Received Friday, January 5, 2007
I saw your nanny Thursday 1/4 with your son of about 2-3. The nanny carried a small backpack that was obviously the child's backpack (primary colors/basic design). The first time I saw the nanny she was on her cell phone. Ten minutes later, she was still on her cellphone and the little boy was trying to get at the backpack which she held from him while continuing in a conversation in Spanish. The boy was losing patience and kept asking for a toy. The nanny spun around to keep him from getting at the bag but kept ignoring him. This went on for another ten minutes. During which time the boy took a break from asking for his toy and sat on the ground and was poking the ground with a stick and swatting a rock around. (This was just a sad site). She is still blabbing on the phone paying the child no mind. He stands up again and reaches for his backpack and asks for a toy (something to do???? While she gabs on the phone). The nanny spins around again and said "ayyy" or something like that. The little boy now tries to reach the backpack and the nanny got really angry and grabbed his fingers off the bag and bent them backwards. This caused the boy to say "ow ow ow ow ow ow" and he released. The whole scene was angering me because somewhere a mom thinks her son is playing at the park with the nanny. I was now within ten feet of her and I gave her a very seriously disgusted look. She waved her hand at me and now spun around. But this time when she spun, she took the backpack off her shoulder and let it drop next to the boy. With that, he open up the bag and takes out an army guy and a blue and white ball. Why couldn't she do that 20 minutes ago? And then make her call? There was no reason for this! The nanny was medium weight, short height with rusty brown hair that seemed kind of matted. She didn't wear any make up and she had on black pants and a grey open sweater with a waist sash. The little boy had on a sweatshirt that had a red body, black long sleeves and two white stripes on the arms. He also had on black Nikes with a yellow swoosh. By the way I am a SAHM with one 2 year old and I am most often and on a regular basis amazed by the devoted and loving nannies I see here at this park. Just not this one woman.
118 comments:
Here's the bottom line. Nannies don't love your children. That's your job. Nannies don't think your kids are cute. That's your job. The best you can hope for is a nanny who will feed, clothe, diaper (if appropriate),and basically keep your kid safe and alive until you get back. I'm a SAHM. I adore my children and we've made big sacrifices so that I can stay home with our wonderful children. I watch a little boy in my home a few days a week. He has fun in my home - playing with my kids, their toys, etc. I take good care of him because I'm being paid to do so. Do I care whether he lives or dies once he gets picked up? Not at all. I know how that sounds. It's just the truth. Only YOU love your kids. Your $8 per hour nanny really couldn't care less. PRIORITIZE. Don't have kids if you aren't going to raise them.
You Fu*king bitch. What the F is wrong with you? Just because you are a cold, dead bitch doesn't mean that is how most nannies are. There are really bad nannies out there and there are really bad mommies (yes, even really bad SAHMs). 90 percent of the nannies stay with the family they work for because they fall in love with the children. They don't just care if the child lives or dies when they are not in their care but whether the child has a nightmare or his warm jacket or knows how much she is loved. You are really a nasty b*tch. I cannot believe anyone leaves their children in your care! I expect more from the people I board my dogs with then you seem to allow the child in your care!
To the first poster-WTH is wrong with you? Many, many nannies love the kids they take care of! I have been a nanny for 5 years now and love the kids in my care-they are a part of my life! What is wrong with you? thank goodness you don't have a nanny because you would be jsut the type of employer that nannies hate! ugh-what a disgusting post you made
You don't know the variables involved. The child wasn't being outright abused, was he?
Oh and also to the first poster-you take care of a child in your home but couldn't care less if he lived or died once not in your home? OMG! Please stop watching him now! What a heartless, cruel excuse for a human being you are!! signed, a nanny
WHAT VARIABLES INVOLVED?
The scene seems pretty clear to me. I am S&T of seeing all these pathetic excuses people post to excuse this kind of behavior. Many nannies are paid very well. Even if they are not "well" paid, they have accepted a job position which includes specific duties of care and treating a child like this is absurd! Almost absurd as the "variables" poster. I have a variable for you-"what if the nanny was a sadistic pig?"
I have had 4 nannies in my life. Three of them were great. One of them treated the job with the same regard as she would an office job. She liked the kids as much as she had to to get the job done, but no more. She wouldn't ever stay late or attend a birthday party unless she was getting paid. She never bought the children a gift or gave them a birthday hug. This didn't work for our family. We have four children and our nanny is most definitely a VIP. We care about her feelings, her comfort and her happiness. It is a two way street.
I see nannies like the first poster out and about. They are the minority, because most people who choose to work with children love children. Those like the first poster-should really stay back fifty feet from all living creatures!
I'm not a nanny, nor do I have any kids of my own yet. I do babysit from time to time. While poster #1 may have come off as harsh, it's not like she isn't doing her job. She takes care of the kid for her boss. He has fun during his day - what else matters?
412, maybe the point of her statement, that she couldn't care less if he lived or died. Wow.
335, you sound cold. I wonder how you charges parents would feel if they knew how YOU felt. Bet you wouldn't have that job anymore. So, are you raising children like yourself? Without empathy? Sad, if you are. Because as a mom, I might not like every child out there, but I do cry every time I hear about a child dying in an accident, a child who has been abused, a child who has been kidnapped, etc. Get the point? Ever hear the phrase, It takes a village to raise a child? Because there are a lot of people out there who probably love your child, and would be sad if your kid would die. Think on that. Sad. Sigh....
459 has a point, and got me thinking. Super bad choice of phrases that I used in my first post. Yes, it's the "queen of evil" here. Of course I don't wish any harm on the child. Of course I dont' want him to DIE. Of course I feel absolutely sickened when I hear stories of any child being hurt, or abused. My point was that I could never LOVE him like I love my own children. It seems like these Mom's have kids, only to stick them with a nanny for 12 hours a day while they climb the coorporate ladder - all the while assuming that the nanny is doing her job for her. I am not capable of giving this child the love and emotional attention that he deserves from his MOTHER. I cannot. It's not in me. Do I smile and talk with him? Play with him? Hug him when he falls down? Of course I do. DO I love him? No, I don't. Again, I apologize for my poor choice of phrases before.
On a slightly different note, I think that 20 year old childless nannies, or older nannies with grown children - can become really attached to the children they care for and love them to pieces. However - any nanny or caregiver that has young children of her own would be LYING if she said she loved the "charge" just as much as she loves her own. When I'm watching this little boy and my own two children at the same time - who do you think gets my attention first? My child or her child? Mine or course. It's just human nature. I feel sorry for the boy I care for, not because he isn't cared for here - but because he's basically been abandoned by his parents who would rather dump him here for 12 hours a day than love him and care for him themselves. All so they can have a better car, bigger house, etc. I guess I just think that kids need their parents. I would swallow glass before EVER leaving my children with a nanny.
You still are reprehensible. You are an uneducated stay at home mother. I have a Phd. I went to an Ivy League School. I have a career that brings me lots of recognition. My children are proud of me. My children are my priority. However you are hypocritical to say you would never leave your children home with a nanny. How could you? To pick up an afternoon shift at Taco Bell?
Stop trashing working mothers. We have every right to our careers.
I know plenty of stay at home mothers who do nothing but neglect and run from their children all day long. Just being home with your child doesn't mean ANYTHING!
that is pathetic that all she had to do was "drop" the backpack to the child.
5:21 - FYI - I have a BA degree and a teaching credential. We own our home in California. I've never once worked at a fast food joint, nor would I ever need to. I stay at home with my children because they are young and they need me. We play together, read together, create things together. We go to the beach, we go on hikes, we ride bikes at the park. That means EVERYTHING to me, and to them. You can take your big fancy degrees and hold them close to your heart. You'll need that icy brand of warmth when your children look back on all the times you weren't there for them because you were too busy polishing your many framed degrees and certificates. They won't remember you - they'll remember the nanny. But hey - you're super smart and that's great.
514, thanks for rephrasing. I understand your point of view. I myself have a part time nanny who comes in about twice a week so I can run errands. She'll usually take my son to the park, a museum, or something else that is fun. For me, it is a real hassel to have to deal with tantrums while I'm out picking up dry cleaning or groceries.
I don't think, though, that ALL working parents are abandoning their children. If they both work to have top line everything, and keep up with the Jones's, then they need to reprioritize. But some parents have no choice. My best friend doesn't have to work. Her husband makes enough. But she works for the ACS, and as a cancer survivor herself, needs the benefits they offer. Her husband can not get those benefits at his job.
Personlly, I know a lot of working moms who would love to stay home, but can't. And for parents who love their jobs, I give them credit. If they display a good work ethic and trully enjoy working, they are doing a great service to their child.
Again, thank you for rephrasing. I had hoped your op was not meant the way it sounded.
The nanny in the post is neglecting her charge, and sounds rather mean.
As for the respondent who says nannies don't love their cares, many of us do. We are nannies in the first place because we get pleasure and satisfaction from working with children, and they are easy to love!
I have read somewhere that parents who only care about their own children, in reality care only about themselves. (The child is an extension of the self) As for your snide $8 remark, I get $15.
A Nanny
5:21...SNOT!
"You don't know the variables involved. The child wasn't being outright abused, was he?"
I would think having his hand bent backwards until he said "ow" several times would be considered abuse.
And to the first poster: even if nannies don't love their charges (I personally don't believe that but then again I might have been lucky with the nannies that I've had), they should still behave with some common courtesy toward their charges. To ignore a 2-3 year old child and keeping his toys from him when it does not take more than 10 seconds to just give him his toys is plain mean. To just *drop* the bag to the ground instead of handing it to the boy speaks of indifference and lack of respect. How would you like it if a teacher just drops a book on the ground next to your son's desk for him to pick up and read? Not acceptable? I didn't think so. It's derisive and insulting.
And finally, thanks for your holier-than-thou attitude towards working moms. Not all of us want to contribute to the Martha-Stewardization of America. There is more to our identities besides being a parent.
You wrote:
"You still are reprehensible. You are an uneducated stay at home mother. I have a Phd. I went to an Ivy League School. I have a career that brings me lots of recognition. My children are proud of me. My children are my priority. However you are hypocritical to say you would never leave your children home with a nanny. How could you? To pick up an afternoon shift at Taco Bell?
Stop trashing working mothers. We have every right to our careers.
I know plenty of stay at home mothers who do nothing but neglect and run from their children all day long. Just being home with your child doesn't mean ANYTHING!"
I found this post sad. There are so many elitist working moms and it's so depressing. I am a working mom myself, although my husband and I share the childcare duties: I work mornings and he works evenings so there is no need for childcare. I personally wouldn't want a nanny: I wouldn't trust just anyone with my child. That being said, I'm sure there are many wonderful nannies out there.
I am a nursery school teacher. I have a BA and own my own home. I went to a state school. I have a career that I love and that helps people. It may not get me alot of "recognition" but it gets me lots of hugs and smiles. Does the poster I quoted know how silly and stuck-up she sounds? I wonder...
As for the OP, it is never right to bend a child's fingers backwards. That must have hurt. The nanny sounds like she has seen better days.
Just my two cents!
I love Martha Stewart and I think the world would be a better place if we'd all follow her example a little more closely. :)
Please share the time that this was observed at Flint Park, and as many other details as possible. It will really help to identify the child. Thanks.
Poster #1:
I bet your kids wish you'd go back to work. With a 'tude like yours, you can bet they do.
You need a break. A day at the spa or something. I'll watch your kids for $7.99 an hour so you can feel as though you're getting a good deal. You know, because everything you do is such a sacrifice and all.
I bet your friends, your kids, your husband and half the neighborhood has heard about the sacrifices 9 billion times.
ps: who cleans your house? I bet not you.
She sounds like she cleans the house. She sounds poor to me. You know the whole angry poor person hating the rich employers. She basically hates the person who is putting clothes on her child's back on food on her table. Pricesless. Ignorant. Ridiculous! All that & so much more & a teaching degree? I don't think so, but even if you did have one- why so bitter? Some of these working mothers love their careers and children so much and have been so succesful that they hire nannies with teaching degrees and pay them 80 k a year. Which is better than any teaching position I know of!
"Comment moderation has been enabled. All comments must be approved by the blog author."
Duhhhhhhhhhhhh. Read the fine print. I hate reading repetitive statements, especially when they are so idiotic!
Sammy not sure what the hell you are talikng about..are you on the wrong blog buddy???
to poster 11:17..have finally figured you out! Anyone that disagrees with you MUST be poor and low class!! You are pushing that issue so hard in every blog that you must be poor,low-middle class yourself. You are like the gay basher that finally comes out after 30 years of mouthing off and pointing the finger. You are very sad and though you would like us to think you are educated and affluent..you are truly a wannabee but has yet to get there nobody! Enjoy what you have..there is nothing wrong with being poor! You just need to get a second job instead of spending all your time blogging and in no time you will be out of that tenement and trading in that Taurus!!
I am neither rich nor poor.
I take issue with nasty people who pass judgement on working mothers! As if a woman is obligated to fulfill her entire destiny in the rasing of a child. If that is your choice, how wonderful for you. How wonderful for anyone to be able to do what they want to do!
1202 you have a right to your career and kids have a right to have a mommy not a mommy stand in!
you are only obligated to take responsibility for your actions..if you want a baby have ababy if you want a career have acareer but don't try to make yourself feel better by harping on nannies...they will never do the job to your satisfaction..if you want something done right..do it yourself..BTW that phrase was coined long before you or I were here!!(and for a good reason!)
12:30,
can you take that up with my husband? He barely pulls down 60K. He pays the utilities. Every other expense including mortgage, private school and nanny is my expense.
And what is a stand in mommy anyway? There are parents a plenty out there that are home all day doing nothing but smoking crack and or sabotaging their children's self esteem.
Oh please!
I work PT in NYC. I have a nanny who is great but she doesn't have to be since I try to schedule all the children's activities so that I can be a part of their lives. I try to limit working in the city to 2 days or less. I interact with a lot of working mothers, stay at home mothers and nannies. And as for, "if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself" That is pure crap! Ask around. There are nannies who are so great that their mere presence makes the child's mother look incompetent. Not everyone knows how to be a mother. This doesn't mean they are bad people! The working mothers I know are on the whole most involved in their children's life in the way that it counts. I know stay at home mothers with nannies that have zero obligations and fail to materialize at class performances and special events. If you are a child in that class, do you feel worse because your semi famous mother is working? Or perhaps maybe you feel bad because your mom is home on UB and can't drag her stupid ass away from the computer to put in an appearance?
Take a guess. Take a gander.
AMEN 12:30!!!! Amen. All of this mindless chatter could be saved with your comment. I couldn't agree with you more. :)
lol @ "semi-famous mom"
LMAO at "semi-famous mom"
Too funny....she just had to get that in there. Life on the "Z" List. :)
For all you SATMs without nannies and passing judgment on others in this website. What are you doing here? If you don't have a nanny, you don't need to check this website. You're just here to throw mud at other people and read arguments with morbid fascination. GET A LIFE.
wow.
I just have to say that there are so many assumtions and inaccurate 'myths' being thrown around here.
I am a part-time nanny. I LOVE the children I work with. Sometimes I don't
'like' them when they are demanding, but I love them even so. To be honest, I think that I am a fantastic nanny. I have never had complaints from any family that I have worked with, and more often than not the parents have worked WITH me to raise their children in a healthy manner. No parent that I have worked with has ever abandoned their child by leaving them with me. to the contrary, I would venture to say that the child has been Well served. Every moment of the day (except naptimes) is devoted to helping those childrem be the most that they can possibly be, healthy, intelligent, cared for, and sustained emotionally, mentally, physically, etc...
I personally take offense at the idea that a parent abandons their child by leaving them with a smart, educated and loving childcare provider. I also take offense at the idea that anyone who does so, does it in order to run off to a high paying job. example: the last family I worked with was a single mother and 4 boys under the age of 8 years old. their father had passed away just the year before. Yes, they were fairly well off, and yes, I had the care of all four boys frequently, but tell me that you wouldn't need time to yourself, not to mention putting your husband's affairs in order and figuring out how you were to support your family in the future? After that experience, I have difficulty with anyone whining about their situation (unless, of course, it is WELL founded).
So sorry to be so long about this, but I feel very strongly. I hope it is take in good humor.
thanks.
if leaving my child with my nanny (who has an ECE degree and tons of experience) such a bad thing, then what shall i do once my child is of school age. should i quit my job and home-school so that i don't abandon her in to the care of *gasp* a teacher?!?
my god we should ALL (both parents) quit our jobs and raise and teach our children so that they can grow up and not have jobs so that they can raise and teach theirs.
get real. if you stay at home i respect what you do but one situations isn't ideal for everybody. as long as our children are happy, safe and well-nutured and we are doing the best we know how i think we should cut each other a little slack. no one person or situation is perfect and what a boring world it would be if everyone did things the same.
let's love our children AND love our lives (and yes, we deserve lives too)!
poster 843 yes you should home school!!!!!!!!!!!!
Right on, 8:43.
I rather dig the fact that my children have a loving relationship with our nanny. I don't feel threatened by it even remotely. I think it's healthy for them to have an attachment outside of dear old mom.
These sahm's who come in here to insult people only do it because they're unsure of the decision they've made and they resent it.
I'm not saying that all sahm's feel that way. Note at all. Just the ones who feel the need to martyr themselves.
"you deserve lives too" what the hell is wrong with you? While your babies are babies,,THEY ARE your life!!
I am nanny. I just want to state that I realize becuase moms work out of the home..I have a job! I do not despise or have ill feelings for these woman..however, the statement "we deserve our lives too" really throws me! Do you realize that you miss out on so many fabulous firsts with your children. As a nanny who truly cares for and loves and respects the family she works for I can tell you I have shared so many firsts with my chareges! When the oldest took her first steps..I said nothing..when she said daddy..I said nothing..when they forgetfully call me mommmy..I correct them but say nothing because I worry that my boss will feel a sadness that she has missed out on these things or will feel bad about the mommy thing! I cannot speak for other nannies but can tell you that even if asked I would not fess up to my employers about these things because they can never go back and change it!
No matter what you feel you deserve..you are missing out!
So please keep that in mind while you are out "deserving your life"!
And to poster "ap " you are sickening! "My husband only pays for the utilities!!??" What the hell is that! In a great marriage no one keeps track bills are paid and life goes on! So why don't you take your husbands balls out of your purse and give them back to the poor guy..I am sure he misses them!! Besides..sounds like you have your own anyhow!!
You sound like the same nanny who is watching a child in her house. Hateful and idiotic.
Let's be very clear, children are happy when their parents are happy. So if you are a SAHM and happy about it, you are doing the right thing. If you are a WOHM and happy about it, you are doing the right thing.
The argument that WOHMs are missing out on so many things is so ridiculous. Most of the SAHMs I know have full time nannies and have to consult the nanny to find out when the child has piano lessons or jazz class!
Now, there you have a case for neglect, bad parenting and women who shouldn't have children!
1130 no I am not the OP posting about not loving her charge as much as her own! I simply am sad that so many women are willing to allow someone else to see their childs first steps or hear their first words!Maybe you do not mind that you missed those things..as I stated,,I am not speaking for others..only myself and I would have hated it if I missed those with my children! Who knows..with what I am hearing and seeing on this blog..maybe it is better that some of your children are being raised by other women!
poster..11:30..the way you feel about a mom consulting the nanny for info is the same way some of us feel about you allowing someone else to raise your child 40-60 hours a week. Why are your feelings valid and ours are not?
1140..goodpoint
You are simply misguided.
You blame a parent missing their child's steps on working parents, especially working mothers. My experience is with stay at home mothers who have and collect children just to pull out and slap on a Holiday Greeting Card. Every other day of the Year, the children are raised by the help. Not because the mother is at work, only because this is the type of person that should not ever have children. Some women have no maternal instinct whatsoever.
Some women have careers and children. They have it all because they want it all and they work like hell to keep it all.
11:42, STOP POSTING TO YOURSELF! Duh, you are one angry Sahm who wishes she could make enough money to warrant going to work but she can't. So she doesn't. And she waits hand and foot on her DH and holds her hand out to ask "pretty please can I buy a bottle of white" and DH hesitates but then okays the purchase (but decided on red).
I never thought about the fact that my daughter might have actually walked for my nanny during the day. We always asked when we got home from work but my nanny always said" no..they always do that stuff for mommy or daddy" .....???
1145 okay..it's clear you swing the other way! I see your posts everwhere!! You are anti man and anti happy stay at home mom who is not a feminist!!! So you like puss*..who caers!! It is obvious that when some one dis-agrees you either play the "poor card" or the "sahm card" ! You are boring and repetitive! So we don't agree..back the fu*k off dyke!
to poster 1145..what the hell dude?What's your story?
Who are you talking to? Me?
My husband and I are equal partners in our marriage and relationship. He is a wonderful father, provider, lover. My contention is that his career is no more important than my own! We both love our careers and work together to make our family and children a priority. You may think you "recognize" me but your posts always stand out. Rude, crass and filled with obscenities. You kiss your husband with that mouth?
I don't even work full time but I despise subservient women. I despise women who are afraid to set examples of strong, competent women for their daughters. If you're lucky, I live on your street and I can be your daughter's role model.
Now, get me a chicken pot pie. B*tch.
1145 I am not a stay at home mom! I am a nanny! As I stated when you read my blog!! Not sure how you missed it but you did!! I make great money and take my baby with me!All your little scenarios are not as cute as you might think..you are awfully desperate to win your argument..trying to convince yourself or me???
Someone who watches children in her home is one step down from a shady daycare. I know some chics on section 8 who take in a kiddy here and there for fast cash. Don't mean a thing.
pkay..you can pretend all you want but there is no way in hell that you are married to a man...a women maybe but no man wants a stuck up feminist in his bed!!
1200..who are you referring to..watching a kid in their home?
I think nannies are great! I know many children that I think would be completely lost in their own homes without the presence of the nanny! Nanny tucks them in at night. And nanny says the prayers with the child.
well if she's "taking her baby with her" she obviously does not babysit in her own home! Hello
I would never want my children fratenrzing with the nanny's offspring! Thank your lucky stars that your boss is a liberal!
liberal versus bitchy feminist?? Which is worse???
1205 I am glad you have a nanny that raises your children..hope some love and kindness rubs off from her..lord knows all we need are more little you's running around!!yuck!!
It's just me all alone.
And Emily Kestrel 1995.
Pot pie..well I am sure you eat pie but I was thinking of a different kind!
I think you have "bitchy feminist" confused with "strong, intelligent woman".
I can still make the men's heads turn. I'm all woman.
oh..okay honey you go ahead and tell yourself that!
1209 you are so full of shit!! Anybody that has to talk themselves up on a nanny blog is NO head turner!
Who is on here?
I see a femininist, a bitter nanny with a fould mouth and a stay at home mom green with envy over the career mom across the street. But who is drinking the Emily Kestrel?
Not me. I'm only up because I am bfing!
a strong intelligent woman would not try so hard to convince others that she is such!!
Was she talking herself up or responding to the fact that you insinuated because she had a career, she must be a lesbian?
Tsk. Tsk.
lesbian ..bitch call it what you want!
A LIBERAL IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!
who makes the Emily Kesstrell?
just curious. not that I could...
A drunk blooger might be right up there though!!
Summit Lake Vineyards.
look ladies cl has a great women searching for women section..please go there to pick up and stay OUT OF THIS BLOG!!
Humble Pie
did this just become matchmaker.com??????
You are accusing a woman who is breastfeeding her baby and asking what vineyard makes a certain kind of wine of trying to "pick up".
You are out of your mind!
well thats it..the liberal,feminist lesbian man haters are now on the move..this blog has become a meat market!! bye bye
Jeez, Emily Kesstrell is a kind of wine. Has nothing to do with lesbians or matchmaking!
How pathetic that I felt the need to clarify that! And I just got here.
get over yourself!! get a book on breastfeeding!
Meat Market?
I was curious about the wine. Even though I won't drink while breastfeeding. How you could convey that in to anything tawdry or match.commish is beyond me!
I think you are out of your mind!
Um, I love men.
I came. I saw. I figured it out. Now I am going to sleep.
Good night All!
1222 are you looking for something to help your milk come in?
no. This is baby #3! I've got that part down. Just surfing the net to pass time.
gotcha!!!Enjoy your down time!!
okay..you love men..but do they love you?
i'm the mom who posted about deserving a life too. i love my child but i love working too and i don't see any reason why i can't have both. it makes me a happier person and i cherish the time i have with my child more because of it. why is it such a big deal for the moms to miss out on things such as first steps or words. of course i want to be there! of course there is only one first time. but most sahms have partners who are missing out on those same things. it's ok for the dad to miss out but not the mom??? and what if the first time my child writes cursive is at school or the first time that she gets a perfect score on a spelling test. does the fact that i wasn't there make it any less of an accomplishment for me to be proud of? does it make her any less my child? i think not.
Why is it the same on every chatboard? Arguments between SAHM and WOHM always turn nasty. ON UB, most times they end up getting deleted because so many expletives get thrown around. Can't we all just get along?
413..well as long as YOU are happy that is what counts! Besides..I am glad your children have a loving nanny to guide them because if they turned out narcissistic like you that would be a real shame!!!
That isn't my nanny I am talking about! My nanny is great, don't get me wrong-but all of the special things and memories with my children- I want those for myself. It isn't always possible, but between my husband and I we make sure one of us is there! We definitely would never have a nanny saying prayers with our nanny. The person I referenced by the by- is a stay at home Mother. So take it up with her.
I am going to say this once and only once. When you decide to have a child, the child needs to be your priority. You can still make your child your priority and be a succesful career person. That is what excellent nannies are for. Many mothers have the ability to stay at home and make their children a priority. Some don't. Let's quit judging and bashing. Meet me at babycenter.
))))))))hugs(((((((((((
funny quote:
"children are happy when their parents are happy."
this was so funny to me. I'm still laughing!
to the poster who said: "Someone who watches children in her home is one step down from a shady daycare. I know some chics on section 8 who take in a kiddy here and there for fast cash. Don't mean a thing."
this is so ignorant that i'm not offended by it. I wonder if the person who wrote this is as racist as she is classist. She probably is one of those "liberals" who is very non-judgemental until her daughter brings home a black guy.
I feel sorry for her kids.
Children are happy when their parents are happy. Not my quote but oh so true. Or do you think that a stay at home mom who spends all day kevetching about the sacrifices she has made for them and to stay home positively affects a child's self esteem?
Liberal = Hypocrite.
I've never met a liberal that didn't have his hand in a rich republican's pocket.
"1209 you are so full of shit!! Anybody that has to talk themselves up on a nanny blog is NO head turner!"
this was very well-said
so well said but not by you.
I pity the ignoramus who cannot submit a comment that is not laced with obscenities.
now that's a bumper sticker!
"I've never met a liberal that didn't have his hand in a rich republican's pocket."
"Children are happy when their parents are happy."
This is not always true. The quote should be "Children are happy when their home-life is happy."
Children's happiness should come first. True, if you are an unhappy stay at home mom, your kids will be unhappy. But on the same token if you are a working mom who never spends time with her kids and you are happy as a pig in XXXX, it still doesn't always mean that your kids are going to be happy.
If you think that then you are fooling yourself.
"Well Jenny, I'm sorry you miss me but I'm so happy: doesn't that make it all better?"
sounds dumb, doesn't it?
My children love the time they spend with their nanny. She is a part of our family. There are things that I am there mother will be there for regardless of my work committments, but on a daily basis, I leave my daughters with the best nanny this side of the Mississippi!
One reason I know this is because of the comments from other mothers. Both working and stay at home mothers are in awe of her. Some people are magical with children. Believe that. It doesn't need to detract from your role as a parent. In fact, if you play your cards right-such a person can only compliment your relationship with your child.
All of this bashing and posting judgments against someone who doesn't do things the way you do is wasted and ridiculous. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my children's happiness. Nothing.
8:07,
you sound poor.
go back to school and get an education so that you too can have a career.
A life outside your children will help you to become a well rounded adult, instead of a bitter hag.
No offense.
And by the way,
children of working parents may miss out on some things, but there are perks too!
correction,
..........There are things that I as their mother will be there for regardless of my work committments,........
8:13
why do I sound poor?
can you with your education explain in an intelligent way what in my post suggested that I am poor and uneducated? I would love to hear your amazingly brilliant explanation, although I fear you don't have one.
signed, 8:07 poster
8:07,
"Happy as a pig in XXXX" is a low class saying. The name Jenny is beyond WT. Did you put those X's there or were you censored? In which case, more credence to your lack of tact which further exemplifies your standing.
Also you just come across as bitter and ignorant and I can hear the 78% lean beef sizzling from here.
Sloppy Joes all around.
mmmm I love sloppy joes... :)
jenny is a white trash name? that's just ignorant. as far as the expression "pig in XXXX" sorry for offending your tender ears.
you sound like a joy to have in the family: your kids and husband must be so proud to have a wife and mother who is so quick to judge others, and so quick to hate others due to what you assume their social status is.
you obviously are an unkind person and know nothing nor do you care to know anything about the state our country is in. there are alot of people who really could use a sloppy joe, and many of them are kids. while we are bickering on this site about what makes a good or bad nanny, some kids are not only without a nanny, stay at home mom, or a working mom, but are without dinner. some kids are starving and some moms work hard at their jobs just to put sloppy joes on the table if they are lucky. I know: I'm a preschool teacher and many of my kids are in that boat alot of times. their moms are all individuals who are dealing with what life has dealt them.
all situations are different and you shouldn't judge unless you have walked a mile in the person's shoes you are trashing. I would rather have some of the teen moms on welfare I know than an elitist, unkind snob like yourself.
941, your post makes a lot of sense. Thank you for reminding people that there are a lot of others out there in a lot worse shape than ourselves. If more people worked hands on in the community other than just write a check, what a difference there would be in our communities.
822, the name Jenny is not WT. It happened to just be a very popular name in the mid-seventies. Not my birth name, but never the less, a lot of people call me that. Don't knock someone because of a name. I'm sure in 20 years, when the trends change again, all the "new names" parents use now will too be mocked. BTW, sloppy joes are great. Maybe you should try one? I reccomend ground sirloin, though.
Personally, I have always hated the name "Jenny".
1129, that is why I go by Jen. I didn't choose my name, obviously, but I work with it. But I don't go around mocking and degrading people based on a name. That shows "low class". :) I just laugh whenever the whole class issue comes up on these blogs. Usually the ones who are accusing, are. Money or no money, class is irrelevant. It's all in how you treat others.
Don't worry about 813's posts!! HE/She says the same thing over & over & over& over & over. He is ,I am guessing, a very poor and uneducated person who happens to trash every one that dis-agrees with his ideas and values..or lack of. He claims that everyone is poor and then comes up with some clever synopsis(or so he thinks) as to their personal home life.."trailer trash" " go get my chicken pot pie bitch" or "sloppy joes" are just a few examples!he most likley belittles if not beats his dog & wife and we can only PRAY that he does not have children! I truly don't care weather he is well to do or poor but he pushes the poor card so much that this convinces me he is one of those people that trashes his own kind in order to convince others he is not like them! He is a bit to desperate! He will never admit that he himself lives in a trailer or small apartment.. not that there is anything wrong with that.An affluent or truly educated person would NEVER talk the way this guy does .Maybe if we all ignore him he will go away! Too bad he has nothing new to say besides how poor someone is..it might be a bit more interesting!
I too have noticed this person is quite offensive as well as uneducated and very redundant in his posts. Perhaps Mentally unhealthy and uneducated. If you pay close attention you will see anti-woman hints in the posts.Always ordering woman around with foul language. Reminds me of a bad Saturday aftrenoon made for TV special.Scary actually!
He's just trash..wish JD would can him but no censorship on this site!
I don't understand why some of these SAHM's think that a working mom is not being true to her "motherly duties" or loves her child less because she either has to, or decides to work. Yes being a parent is a full time job, however, that does not mean that a mother should have to stay home with her children. Not every woman wants to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with their children, and the fact that they have a nanny is not selffish at all. It does not mean that they love their child any less, in fact it shows how much they love their child to know enough that getting time away will make their time together that much more meaningful. If they know that being a SAHM will only stress them out or that they wouldn't be able to handle it, then IMO they are doing the right thing. And this does not mean that they shouldn't have children either. I'm not condoning the working mothers that don't spend any time with their children, but the mothers who either have to work, or the ones who know that their relationships with their children are better off if they have a life outside of being a mother. Because after the kids are all grown up and moved out, what do you have left if you spent 21 years devoting everything to them? It might sound selffish, but you also have to have a sense of yourself as well.
And for the first poster, I saw your apology and first would like to say it takes a big person to admit when they are wrong. However, speaking as a nanny, I do truly love and have a connection with the child whom I nanny for. I know that he hates the cold so I make sure that I bundle him up in a blanket when we walk to the bus stop with his older brother. My heart breaks when he gets a bump on his head. No I might not love him like his mother does, but I'm the next best thing. And I don't see anything wrong with that.
1:07 - Well, you sound like a great nanny and your employers are lucky to have you. I am guessing that you are young and don't have any children of your own? If only people like you were the rule rather than the exception.
I am a new poster here. I'm a nanny and have been for the past 11 yrs, and I'm also a single Mom of a 1st grader. I just saw this website mentioned in a recent issue of The New Yorker magazine and of course had to check it out. I've read everything on the first page, including the comments on all of the postings (most were humorous, I mean adults sitting there "net-arguing" with random strangers, seriously?). I have a whole bunch of thoughts running through my mind regarding several of the posts, but didnt feel compelled to actually jump in and post anything until I read the comment posted at 5:14 (anonymous, also her comment is the first one listed). She makes me SICK. She is a disgrace to child-care workers everywhere, let alone anyone with one single ounce of decency in them. As I said, I've been a nanny for 11 yrs and my first job was really just babysitting (I was barely 18 then). The boy was 6 weeks old the first day I had him. After falling head over heels in love with this baby, I decided to educate myself on everything childcare related, read every magazine, book, article I could get my hands on so I could reassure his Mom (who was reluctant to go back to school after having her baby) that her child was in the best care possible. Took some classes, got certified, CPR, all that jazz, and 11 yrs later, this child is still one of my charges (in addition to a 22 month old, different family). So this anonymous poster said "any nanny or caregiver that has young children of her own would be LYING if she said she loved the "charge" just as much as she loves her own." BULLSHIT. The 11 yr old is as dear to me as my own child. I raised that little boy for his entire life and I treat all of the children the same, including my son. Discipline and love and attention for ALL of them, equally. I LOVE that 11 yr old and at this point he is considered family not only to me but also to my entire family. He is invited to all of my family gatherings without anyone even thinking twice about it. Birthdays, weddings, christenings, he is always there with us. My son and this boy are like brothers. I don't hesitate to keep him overnight just for the hell of it, just because he is an amazing kid and we enjoy having him. His Mom was a young single Mom in a bad situation when she had him and she's worked her ass off to make sure she doesnt go on public assistance and there have been many MANY occasions when I would let her pay me a couple days late, or I'd offer to take her son for a night so she could get some extra sleep or pick up an extra shift at work. He stays late with little to no notice sometimes, I buy him gifts, snacks, treat him to the movies sometimes, all with my own money, and the bottom line is this anonymous person is just wrong, and the child would be ten times better off with anyone but her. If she thinks that the child who isn't hers can't tell that he isn't as loved as her own son, then she's a fool. We all know children are smarter than most people assume they are.
Anastasia,
I agree with you 100 percent. I don't expect a nanny to arrive on my doorstep and proclaim love for my child. But the nanny I have definitely regards my children as family (as we regard her). This creates an enviable situation for all of us. If someone is closed off to the possibility of feeling genuine affection for her charge, then she doesn't have the open heart that is exemplified by so many great nannies.
By the way, The New Yorker article you are referring to, is that from back in October? I haven't seen anything recently and I subscribe.
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