Monday

Riverside Park in Lyndhurst, New Jersey

Received Monday, December 11, 2006
I work part time. On the days I am home with my child, I am overjoyed to be able to go to the park with her. Three days a week I am stuck indoors for 10 hours a day. On my days off, weather permitting I go to Riverside Park in Lyndhurst. I have often observed nannies; great and not so great as I made my rounds with my daughter. Last week when it was so cold, the nannies were involved with and laughing with the children. Possibly because they knew that they didn't have to spend an extended period at the park? Today the weather is not quite so cold. I have to wonder if what I see as disregard and unkind behavior is really caused by micromanaging working mothers who mandate that the nanny must take the child to a park or "outside" for a certain period of the day. While that may be well intentioned, I think you miss the boat when you don't hire a nanny who is first of all enthused to be outdoors with your child herself. At noon today it was about 52 degrees. Very pleasant weather for a child to be running around on the equipment, but the nannies look so unhappy.
At this time of the day, the children present are babies and toddlers. Not a single one of the nannies looked as if they wanted to be there, in fact their grim faces brought me down. If you are a parent to a nanny that goes to this park, please make a surprise visit there and see how your nanny interacts with your child. These nannies were looking at the sky and hoping (praying) for rain. I don't know how that transcends to other areas of their job performance, but I have to imagine the lack of enthusiasm and apparent dread carries over into other aspects of their work.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

The issue here is that you have NO idea what the nannies had on their "to-do" lists for the day. Maybe they were asked to do a number of errands, but still had to make sure they spent time outside.

Or maybe they had the grumps, or a rotten weekend, or were stressed about Christmas.

The general expectation I see here is that nannies are NEVER allowed to feel less than 110% enthusiastic and excited about their jobs.

That's asking far more of nannies than anyone would ask of a worker in corporate america, don't you think?

Anonymous said...

Are you kidding me with this? Now..people are capable of reading nannies minds?To expect a nanny to provide loving care and a watchful eye is very reasonable. To expect a nanny to make sure that she realizes she is being paid to watch her charges is very reasonable. You need to remember..nannies are human..like you & I they have a bad day now and then and while it is absolutley not okay for them to take it out on the children they are watching...you people expect them to be smiling 24 freaking hours a day which is just not realistic!!As a nanny I get up at 5 am so that I can be to work by 630..I stay until 5pm.Sometimes our trip to the park is actually my down time..time to unwind as I do not get a set lunch hour and two 15 minute breaks!!! I watch 4 children whom I love.However, I have good & bad days just as the rest of you!We are nannies not magicians!!!I do not smile every day for 10 hours straight! I think the original poster is a hypocrit! If you are telling me as a mother that you don not find yourself tired or irritable on occasional I would say you are full of shi@@@T! Stop picking on these nannies!! If you have ABUSE to report by all means report it but not smiling 24 hours a day is NOT abuse!!!

Anonymous said...

Why no post last week when you say the nannies were laughing and happy?? Why are you posting negativly against these nannies this week? Something does not add up?Your story does not add up!

Anonymous said...

"Micro-managing" & "missing the boat" ?? Who the hell are you lady? You work part time for crying out loud! My nanny works full time for me..sometimes a 9-10 hour day!! Sounds like she works a lot harder and more hours than you do . We might all "laugh all the time" if we had it as easy as you!Stop worrying about a non-smiling nanny and working moms who "miss the boat" when hiring a nanny! You have alot of nerve!!Why don't you find a different park if this one" brings you down!"

Anonymous said...

If the nannies were smiling and laughing last week why did'nt you make a post for them then? You sound like the kind of person who makes sure the manager knows the waiter sucked but never talk to the manager when you have agreat waiter!!

Anonymous said...

No good nannies! Shame on them!!They should all be fired and all of you part-time moms should fill in.!!!

Anonymous said...

aren't nannies supposed to laugh and smile? Are are they supposed to pout and moan?

Anonymous said...

Hyper defensive much? Everytime we see a nanny doing her job we are supposed to run and post about it?
I don't think so.

Anonymous said...

Have you never had abad day when you needed to pout or moan?

Anonymous said...

You are right you should not have to run out and pat your nanny on the back for doing her job..but expecting them to be anything more than a regular person with real feelings and sometimes having a bad day is absurd!!

Anonymous said...

I thought the op's point was to hire a nanny who wanted to go outside instead of one who was so stupid that the boss had to make a schedule for her. Which could conceivable lead to a bunch of p'd off nannies standing around with gloom and doom on their face.

Anonymous said...

Not sure what you are getting at here! Have you ever walked through an business office in the middle of the day. People tire out and sometimes need to re-energize..why is a nanny so different? This is a job..they are working and unlike those pf you that run your own business or work for a company..they do not get a set lunch hour or set breaks during the day being a GOOD nanny is hard work!!

Anonymous said...

To Hyper Defensive. What kind of work do you do that keeps you smiling 24 hours a day??? Please enlighten us..or are you the Part timer that wrote this?? That would explain it!!

Anonymous said...

I don't have children. But I have to say I have been places where nannies congregate; parks or even certain stores and looked around at them and been so disgusted. I try and imagine having a child and having to pick one of them to be my child's nanny. This is not to say I have not seen great nannies in action, but I have also been places where I was full on disgusted by the level of enthusiasm I saw.

Anonymous said...

To the person talking about patting annay on the back! You make the same comment on everysite..it's getting old. Come up with some new material. You have made your self clear..you are anti-nanny!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes,but you only post the negative! Shame on you!

Anonymous said...

To the poster without children..It is a shame that only the bad nannies stand out in your mind.Please remember nannies are people ..and an occasional lack of enthusiasm is NOT the sign of a bad nanny. Our nanny's best friend was in a car accident1 year ago . She is now in a coma.We see the day to day effects this has on our nanny. Nannies are human..they go through divorces,lose parents get into arguments with friends...they are not any different than you & I!!And i don't know about you but my coworkers can always tell when I am having a bad day!

v said...

is op complaining about one nanny or a congregation of dismal nannies?

Anonymous said...

She is complaining just to complain!! Sounds like whichever audience she can capture!! Let's include it all and see if we get any takers!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why it seems like allegedly good nannies have to R&R on this site when there is a negative posting. There are many places you can go to get an upclose view of bad nannies. How many full time working mothers really don't know how it is? When I tell my nanny to go the park, I have to admit I imagine laughing and blue birds and happiness.

Anonymous said...

Is it laughing and Blue Birds and Happiness all the time when YOU are with your daughter?

Anonymous said...

Allegedly good nannies R&R because the general consenses seems to be that we are all monsters that neglect the kids we watch, do not smile all the time and need to be supervised with nanny cams because we are lazy,overpaid thugs!( to quote a post on another blog)I am sure that there are more good nannies out there than there are bad! I bust my ass to do a great job for my employers. I watch a set of 1 year old twins and their 2 year old sister. I get to work at 6am and leave between 430-5pm. I bathe the kids,feed the kids and read to them. I set up their daily schedule and routine. I enforce manners and patience. I am the one that wipes the tears away after a fall.I take them to the doctor and I pick out the clothes they wear everyday! Some nannies do a great job..but most of you seem to get off on the occassional bad nanny sighting!! I have been a nanny for 17 years and love my job. I know that most parents who employ a nanny take time to research and find a good nanny! nannies are human. We all slack off on occasion.Sometimes my mailman does not smile..or my waitress or the person at the checkstand. This does not mean they are bad at their jobs!It most likley means they are tired or perhaps have had a bad day! Constant Blue Birds and happiness is absurd and VERY unrealistic!

*****BTW there are many places you can go to view great nannies up close too!But you, I am sure won't take the time to post about them!

Anonymous said...

So All the nannies were full of joy last week, and this week they ALL had "grim faces"? There is something weird going on in your park, maybe a bad fairy puts spells on them.

Anonymous said...

It's Monday..what do expect?? They probably dreaded coming back to work after a nice ,long weekend!

Casey said...

This entire thing is silly. The OP was posting based on what she saw, none of you saw it, so get over it. I didn't realize this was a place for nanny's to get all defensive about each post. Just becuse the OP doesn't work full time doesn't mean she doesn't work hard to the person who said:
"Who the hell are you lady? You work part time for crying out loud! My nanny works full time for me..sometimes a 9-10 hour day!! Sounds like she works a lot harder and more hours than you do."
As a part time mom I'm sure she gets up and takes care of her family, her house and then goes to work and works however many hours, and comes home and still has a family to take care of. Being a Mom is a fulltime job, plus working in addition, most nannies are just nannies and don't have children and other work and a house, etc etc. I nannied for 14 years and now am a mom, I think we it's silly to sit here and nit-pick at a poster instead of reading what she wrote and MOVING ON!

Anonymous said...

To the above poster..Casey..I think you ARE the part timer sticking up for yourself!!

Anonymous said...

Most nannies are just nannies?? Hey Casey...you can kiss my a@@! I am a fulltime nanny for triplets and I have a 14 yr old son and 5 month old daughter. My daughter comes to my employers house daily with me!I work 45 hrs a week watchin 4 children under 2!! you are talking out of the side of your neck..idiot!!!!I would love to work part time and sit around judging everyone else for not smiling!!!

Anonymous said...

Whoever said "nannies are just nannies" you are a freakin bozo!!!!!!!!!Most nannies have families to cook for or classes to study for,papers to write and lives of their own and most nannies work FULLTIME..idiot!!!

Anonymous said...

Let's talk about what I've learned from reading this blog. Nannies have been observed being deceitful, cruel, sadistical, incompetent, sneaky, lazy, sleazy and negligent. I realize that these nannies are not in the majority, however, what I do see is a genuine need to keep tabs on one's nanny unless and until she has proven her loyalty to one's children and can be trusted. This issue seems quite serious.

Anonymous said...

I think Casey is right. nannies are just employed to watch kids and usually have nothing else to do. They should be happy all the time afterall they get to home an sleep since they don't have a family to take care of.

Anonymous said...

Shame on ANYBODY that would hire a nanny they do not completly trust!

Anonymous said...

I doubt they were praying for rain because cooped up kids tend to be more work...instead of the playground entertaining them, the nannies would have to. In cold weather, nannies would not be able to visit the park where they can socialize with other nannies...often the only form of adult contact they would have in the day.

Anonymous said...

This is soo true but maybe the mind reader knows something we don't!

Anonymous said...

Maybe one of the nannies that is usually at the park with the rest of the bunch died in a car accident.

Ila said...

"Being a Mom is a fulltime job, plus working in addition, most nannies are just nannies and don't have children and other work and a house, etc etc."

Let me say that a lot of nannies ARE the"full time mom". Before my employers husband came home from Iraq, I did it all. I was up at 7am packing lunches, making breakfast, getting them dressed, taking them to school, picking them up, spending an hour at the park, making dinner, doing dishes, housework, driving all over the state to take them to the "IN" places on days off, taking out the trash, bringing in the mail, bathing them, putting them to bed, laundry, etc. Oh yeah, and occasionally I catch a meal, a shower and a TV show. Then I go into my room, in their house, and crash because I have just had a 12 hour day. I have no home of my own to roam which we all know can be frustrating. I wake up in the morning to find "my" sink full of dishes that I didnt eat from. I mean, its not all pay checks and freetime to do whatever. And oh yeah, hopefully neither of them wakes up in the middle of the night. I am 'mommy' for crimeny sake!
I don't discredit moms who care for their kids at all, but recognize that many of us are working what YOU call fulltime jobs, but what the real working world calls over time. I am on the clock 24 hours a day, I run the house as though it were my own taking care of two kids AND their mother.

I am appreciated though, and I do get pats on the back for a job well done. Yes, I get praised for doing my job. Because how many of us HATE when our boss says "Hey you're doing a GREAT job."? Why do nannies deserve any less or any more recognition. I love my job! Its stressful and rewarding and tiring just like being a mom is.
Get over yourselves. Everyones situation is different.
And by the way, if you hire a nanny and are NOT aware of how she treats your children or whats going on day to day and you feel like you cant trust her, that means you have a serious lack of communication and YOU need to be aware of the life your child and nanny are leading!

Anonymous said...

Ila..you are sooooo right!! I too am a nanny and for the simple minded poster who said "Nannies are just nannies" you are horribly clueless...I have 2 and under(1year old twins & their 2 yr old sister) we are up at 6..baths,breakfast,playtime,a walk,naptime,lunch,park time,read a book,afternoon nap,laundry,dinner..mom & dad come home..spend an hour w/kids then we play until I put them to bed at 8pm!! If they wake up at night..i go to them and guess what in may I will have a 4th to tend to! So....for all of you simpletons who expect us to smile 24 freakinhrs a day..I guarantee I put in more time on the clock than you,with more patients than you and do a better job during the day than you because unlike the dizzy broad who made the post..i am too busy paying attention to my own situation and charges than worrying about weather or not people are smiling all day at the park!...tomorrows future..so get an grip!

Anonymous said...

4 kids under 3? What if they are sick and cant go to daycare? I just could never hire a nanny with that many children (especially when it looks like there is no end to the baby making in sight). Not too mention the toll this excessive number of pregnancies takes on a body. I am guessing it affects job performance?

Casey said...

Same point I was originally making, you are just screaming at each other, including me because of my opinion. It was a post and didn't hurt anyone, what is the bfd? I am not the original part timer re-posting, in fact I work full time hours for two businesses that I own and run day in and day out, I have a 13 month old son, go to college full time and do much more. I am a fantastic mom and I work hard. Most nannies I know are nannies and do not have families of their own, kids, etc. If you are a nanny and have kids, great, but that means its your job, so do people bash you for it? Why bash the OP about working part time, why not say GOOD FOR HER, wish I could!
I think a lot of nannies are single women, and some jerk who wasn't brave enough to share their name says most have families, difference of opinion. The difference is I don't stand here judging you, but since you seem to want me to, its to bad you didn't work harder and save enough money so that you didn't have to work full time with kids and not get to spend good quality time with your kids and only YOUR kids-not having to share their time with other kids, wish you were a better parent.
And for the record I don't think its fair of me to judge you, but you are doing the same with me, OVER a stupid post that DIDN'T HURT ANYONE. Grow up.

Anonymous said...

Casey..a little defensive are we?? Hope you handle yourself better when it comes to your sweet little 13 month old son! I'd hate to see him learn your bad manners and really hate to see him follow in your judgemental footsteps!-

Anonymous said...

Helloooo to the 825 poster..the nanny said she cares for those 3 children?? And hellooo if you have a nanny you don't need daycare...wake up and read the post before responding to it!!

Anonymous said...

Casey are related to the OP..you sure are defensive Dude! She must be your old lady!

Anonymous said...

Casey..you need to fish for compliments on a different blog!! We don't care what you do..the original post was stupid and unrealistic..it read like a "Lemony Snicket exerpt!" No body that employs a nanny expects them to smile 24 hours a day and those that do are lazy,parents who have NO idea what it means to get up at 1,3,and 5 to feed a newborn because their hard working nannies do it for them!

Anonymous said...

Reading these posts I realized something..the people posting are claiming to work..P/T..f/T and sometimes 2 jobs..you are not understanding..who the nannies that you see in the park work for! We work for women that don't work..they have more $ than Gates and are so bored that they literally pay for entertainment on a daily basis. They do not take their children to school,they do not bathe,feed change,dress ,wipe noses are play with their children..we do..it is a 12-24 hr a day job and several of us are up at night caring for fussy babies while mom & dad sleep! So,yes,sometimes we don't smile at you in the park. Sometimes we don't smile at each other but we are out..at the park...so that our charges can get some sunshine on their faces which..we get bashed for on other blogs on this site!! We work hard. Get off our backs for not smiling! That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard!Almost as absurd as miss part-timer bashing us for not smiling..If i worked PT I guess I'd be perfectly happy and hasve a24 hr smile too!

Anonymous said...

Casey, Let's see.Where is your child while you are in class..oh yes...you leave your child while in class and you work fulltime ..."Dayin&day out" to quote you correctly. Where is your child while doing this??.Yet you are a fantastic mom. OK

I take my child to the park daily..she is NEVER left while I go to class or go to work..we go to the children's museum once a month and story time at the library every Thursday..I see her all day long..I do not miss one single laugh or smile or 1st word because I am in class or running a business "day in & day out." We walk every day,we have a Mommy & Me class twice a week and we have baby gymnastics on Friday's..Do you feel I am a bad mommy not spending quality time w/my child?

I am the nanny you accussed of not spending quality time with "only" my child. Sounds like you should have worked a lot harder before becoming a mommy..then you too could see your child as often as I do!!I own a home,work hard and am with my child more than you are with yours..maybe you should be careful when making accusatory remarks such as " wish you were a better parent?" makes you look a bit foolish in my eyes. Tonight while you are working"day in & day out" I will be snuggled up with my daughter reading "The Velveteen Rabbit" and feeling sorry for you!Hope all the $$ you make after you get your degree is worth it!!

I do not begrudge anyone going to college to better themselves but if you want to dish it out..I'll take it.. I hope you can too.

Next time you leave your child to go to class..you think of me..you think of the nanny smart enough to get her degree out of the way before making a baby who she could not be with at all time! A degree that not only allows her to be with her child all day long but bring home money to pay for a California Mortgage !A Nanny that does NOT work "Day In & Day out" !Sounds like the joke is on you Casey..I would not trade places with you for anything..because then I would have to give up time with my sweet little angel!! I am sorry YOU are not able to be with your child as I am with mine.You should have thought things out before insulting me Casey..because I am a mommy who thought things out and now I have a wonderful life and all the time in the world w/my daughter.

Might want to rethink that ugly jab you took"wish you were a better parent?" Do you???

Casey said...

Not really, poster at 4:16pm--still too ashamed to share your name? I work and I go to school, I run a family business and a business from home, my son is with me constantly, I go to school one day a week--all day, and he is with his dad, is that so horrible? For my son to spend time with his father? When I work he spends time with both his grandparents, and me, lots of time we watch children at the business’ ChildWatch center. He comes first, I see him just as much as you see your daughter. I too do story time, and a Mommy and Me class weekly-yoga, he has two play dates a week, but gets also to spend time alone with his father. By the time he is school aged, I will be home with him full time and home schooling him, I too own a house—big deal.
You don't know anything about me either, and you are making ugly jabs. I NEVER came on here to insult ANYONE, the idea, I thought, was to share in sightings and help each other out. I posted to try and help this poor mother who posted and was being stoned with nasty comments. Now you all turn on me, because she is old news, all you women want to do is insult and insult some more; it gives this site a bad name. It's too bad we can't share in intelligent conversation and enjoy sharing stories with each other, good or bad, it's too bad you people have to twist words and then spit them back at each other.
And to the other posters, same as before I am not the original poster, nor am I her daughter, or do I know anything about her. All I know is you people should back off a bit and if you don't agree with it then keep it to yourself. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all--isn't that how it goes? I come to this site never with the intention of trying to insult anyone, but just to share my opinion. And sure I'm going to be defensive, if you have a bunch of rabid women posting against you for your opinion, wouldn't you be? Wouldn't you want to try and get the point across that you aren't trying to fight, but you are entitled to your opinion.
Maybe I should join all you and be anonymous, that way no one can respond to my name and be so nasty, you'll never know who I am, just like I don’t know who any of you are. It's too bad that you force people into feeling this way—that they have to be anonymous.