Received Sunday, December 10, 2006
I am a nanny doing my shopping at the Cross County Mall in Yonkers, New York on Saturday afternoon. Mostly I was looking for a gift for my employer who I have been with 10 months, but I still didn't find anything! I noticed something at the mall worth mentioning.
A woman dressed in capris length tight jeans, with black high heeled boots and a cream colored fluffy sweater was at one point standing next to a very well dressed little boy about 6. He had dark, very short short hair, and a blue jacket but I can't remember anything else specific about the clothes. They were looking at some jewel items laid out on a table at the middle of the mall. The woman was about 26. I hate to say this but she looked like she had money so I don't know if she was the nanny. As I was standing there a well dressed man came up to her and said something like "can you take her, I have to go on the outside to get into Verizon". With that he left a little girl about 3 who I think was the sibling. She was also well dressed. They kind of seemed out of place at this mall. Left with both kids the woman looked displeased and didn't try and hide it. I would go so far as to say she gave the little girl a dirty look when she was left with her.
I go in to Home Goods and come out. There is the woman now outside Home Goods walking around. I see the little girl now but not the boy but don't think anything of it. The woman is now sipping on a straw in a drink and just looks like she can't wait to leave that mall. She seems to roll her eyes at everything and everyone in the mall, including me as I pass her by. I leave Home Goods to go down a level to leave through the exit I came in.
As I am walking towards the door, I see the father stroll in the door. He is now coming from the outside parking garage which has I believe 4 floors. I keep walking. As I get near the door to go outside, the boy pushes the door open and screams "Daddy, Daddy, wait". (He is coming in from the outside of the mall). I kind of gasp and stop and turn around as his Dad spins around surprised. His reaction is "Jackson.. What the...Come here". Not mean, just shocked. Then the woman comes around the corner first sipping her drink. The three year old is about 5 feet behind her and she comes around the corner. The father says to the woman "how did Jackson get outside? You scared me half to death" or something like that. The woman said something like, "It is too crowded in here, this is impossible". The father looks at her with disbelief. I realize now she isn't the mother but she also isn't the nanny. The father looks at the woman with his mouth kind of agape. I am thinking he is thinking "these are my children" by the look on his face. Then he says, obviously not happy "well I got the phones you (<---emphasis) wanted". So while he left her with the kids, he was doing something for her. She isn't the step mom either. She is like Daddy's new girlfriend. And if you are the mother of Jackson and a little 3 year old girl with dark, curly hair that were at that mall on Saturday between 1:20-2:30, this is a warning for you. That woman didn't care at all about those kids. If I was the mom, I would make sure she wasn't intrusted with their care in the future. I don't know how, but I would! I stood there for a minute trying to make sense of the whole scene but there was no sense to be made of it!
And if anyone has any ideas about what to do for my employers for Christmas, please respond. I am 22 and this is my first nanny gig. Thanks in advance.
25 comments:
I usually do something meaningful, involving their kids, for a present. In the past I have had the kids' pictures taken at Sears/JCPenney/or Target and then framed. This year I am going to take a bunch of candid shots of the kids and put it in a collage type frame. I've also taken a painting done by the kids and framed it. I usually give a bottle of wine along with this sentimental gift. Hope that helps!
in past years, i've gotten my employers a dinner gift certificate and offered to watch the kids for free for the night. they seem to enjoy this as they did not have to pay me overtime, and they got to go out without the kids which rarely happens! good luck shopping, and way to look out for those kids!
that's a pretty bad story. hopefully the father will dump her and find a good woman. maybe even a single mother with small children and shared interests in children.
My nanny gets the each of the two children a gift. She doesn't get me anything and I am so glad she doesn't. I would feel awful if she did! She is just one person, like you and by the time you buy the children gifts-you have done enough! And they will appreciate that. Really!
I wouldn't get the employers themselves anything. I would get the children something for the holiday they celebrate. I have been a nanny for 3 years. My first job I started in November and I was so excited to be in New York. I loved everything about it. I spent a week's pay on my employers. And a weeks pay on the children. I think because it was a)the honeymoon period and b)the holiday period and c) there was a lot of vacation time off I failed to see my employers for who they really were. By the end of January, I hated (and I don't hate) my employer. I hated her. The honeymoon period was over and she had revealed her true colors. I only lasted until Valentine's Day. Since you have been with the family ten months, you probably know what they are really like. But all nannies (and employers) should be aware of the honeymoon period.
Honeymoon period? I can understand that. But do our nannies think we are fools? For the month of December, my nanny goes out of her way to be helpful. She even smiles three times a week. She offers to stay late. She compliments me. It's sickening because if she knows how to smile and in general be a more pleasant and flexible person, why can't she do it 12 months of the year? Why is only when her hand is out for the bonus?
To the above poster! You are an idiot! get off you as@ and find a new nanny..one that you like! How could you be so negligent as to lv your kids with someone you obviously can't stand!!!!!!!
If she's not smiling, flexible, and pleasant the other 11 months of the year - why is she still your nanny?
If your nanny isn't as smiley, pleasant and flexible the other 11 months of the year - why is she still your nanny?
If you have a nanny that is that mainpulative, i.e. smiley, flexible and pleasant once a year (or when her hand is out), why on earth is she still your nanny?
why did you make the same comment so many times???? I'm not feeling you. My bonus is based on what I have done for my company all year long. I don't care what December tricks my nanny pulls out of the bag, he bonus is based on her year round performance.
I responded to the nanny who referenced the honeymoon period. The fact that I realize my nanny isn't so spectacular is only because I was blessed early in life when my children were young to have the most superlative nanny in existence. So I am a bit jaded.
The great nannies make it harder out there for anyone who follows in their footsteps, but I wouldn't want it any other way. And regarding my non smiling nanny; I trust her implicitly with my children. She may not be the most fun you can have on a Saturday afternoon but she provides meticulous care.
Can we please get back to this stepmother/father's girlfriend? I want to hunt her down and trip her.
I am a stay at home Mom of two little boys, and I also nanny for an 18 month old child in my home. The child I care for is wonderful, but I loathe his mother. She doesn't know I feel this way. Anyway, back to holiday gifts - I bought a nice present for the little boy and candy for his parents. Others have told me not to bother with the parents, but I had to get them something - even if it was small.
Can we get Tessy to comment? Or to write something? Talk about nannies getting screwed by employers! That was the worst!
My nanny would give my husband and I a bottle of the wine we liked, and/or some home-cooked food, and a nice card. I like the idea above of a certificate for a "free night out."
My nanny also gave really nice presents to the kids -- toys they truly wanted (and she knew what they wanted just as well as we did), and a Baby Gap outfit for the baby.
eitiquette rules dictate that alcohol is not a good gift option. Unless you know that they have a favorite type of alcohol and they are free to enjoy the alcohol.
I always give gifts to the children (usually a toy and something handmade) and a sentimental gift to the parents. I've made some very elaborate scrapbooks and memory books, framed photos of the children. One year I made a clock that was a photo collage of the children throughout the year and it was a huge hit. I also like the suggestion of the certificate for a dinner out. I know quite a few nannies who do that and it's always appreciated.
This year I'm starting a new job right before Christmas (next week!) so I won't have been there long enough to make a sentimental gift for the parents. Instead I'll skip giving them a gift and just give gifts to the baby. (I knitted an adorable baby blanket to match his nursery and got a few other little things.)
Sorry about the repeated post...thought it wasn't taking my comment - still wondering though, if you don't think she's pleasant the rest of the year, why is she taking care of your kids?
In the past I have gotten the parents a gift that is child oriented or else a free weekend away. This year I got them each something personal and got the grandparents child oriented gifts. I have been with my family for 3 years and we always have exhanged gifts so its not a big deal to me. I buy them something personal that doesnt break the bank.
things like this are probably why I keep trying to make things work with my husband. we have problems on top of problems but if we end up with other people, I just think we will only have more! And I can't stand the thought of some sk-nk mistreating my children!
I only get gifts for the children, and help them make something for their parents, grand parents, aunts and uncles. (Book marks, picture frames, hand prints in clay type things.) The parents really appreciate that. I think receiving a gift from the nanny makes some parents uncomfortable. Gifts are supposed to go down the pipe, not up.
Snapfish.com has some great ideas you can do with pictures . . .such as a memory book $12 that you can personalize and write under each picture.
I'm making a scrapbook of my 'charges' year of being two . . .complete with pics, quotes that their angel has said during the year, things she liked, crafts we did, etc.
good luck!
Print a gift certificate for a free nite of babysitting. That has worked for me in the past. I also buy gifts for the children but limit it to $20.00 per child.
I'm brand new at being a nanny since I only started this summer, but my employeer is one of the sweetest genuine women you can find. She goes above and beyond for me and treats me like she would a friend, even going as far as to invite me to a scrapbooking party one of her friends was hosting. Her little girl is 21 months and I orginally planned to make a small scrapbook for her and her husband of A, but ran out of time so what I am now doing is a small album of candid black and white shots. I went to the craft store Micheal's and found this great little photo album that is a frame and then you open it and it can hang on a wall displaying 13 different pictures. I got this for $1.99 on sale and the pictures are 19 cents each as CVS so its pretty cheap. A great idea that I suggest for toddlers for Christmas are these Look & Find books that are sold at any major bookseller, even for cheap at TJ MAXX. They are sort of like Wheres Waldo for babies and they come in all different characters from Finding Nemo to Elmo. I got my charge both of the Sesame Street books, The Disney Princess and Pooh Bear. All this didn't even cost me a weeks worth of pay. Good luck on getting a gift! By the way as a former child of a father who dated a woman that hated kids, save your kids a lot of pain by just dumping the woman. I lived with my dad and this woman was over all the time and it was pretty clear that she disliked my sibling and I. I hate to say this, but I finally wrote her an e-mail one day basically telling her off and that was the end of the relationship, I was also 16 when I did this so I don't expect these kids to be able to do anything, but someone should help them out.
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