Received Tuesday, October 3, 2006
This happened at the Cold Stone Creamery (ice cream store) on Florin Road in Sacramento.
It happened on Friday, September 29. A nanny taking care of twins or two little girls close in age had two girls in a side by side stroller. The little girls were blonde, fair between 2 and 3. One of them was being fussy. One was not. They were both wearing lime colored shirts with like a pullover dress (the kind with two buttons at the top). The nanny got each girl a small cone. Then the nanny got her cone. The nanny was a large woman, maybe in her fifties. She seemed to be Hispanic, her English existed but was imperfect. Her appearance was neat. Styled short hair, she wore make up. Jeans. Hiking boots and I think a striped shirt. The fussy girl kept saying "want some yours" or something like that. The nanny was very dismissive saying "no, no you have your own". Finally, the nanny gave in and let the fussy girl have a lick. Then the other girl wanted a lick. The nanny begrudgingly agreed. You must know picture two little girls with miniscule vanilla cones and a nanny with a giant toppling cone, it would be abnormal if the kids did not want some. So then the nanny goes back to furiously ingesting her cone. The fussy girl asks again for "one more taste". The nanny ignored her and the little girl keeps kicking the stroller in such a way that the stroller was scooting. The nanny got mad and said something like "fine" and harshly offered the cone one more time. I don't know what she said but she was giving the child the evil eye. It was scary. Then the fussy girl went to hold it and knocked the cone so it fell into the stroller. With that the nanny picked up the cone and put it in the garbage and took the cones away from both girls and said "all done, no more". Needless to say, the girls were both screaming as the nanny pushed the stroller away. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she told me I should put it on I say your nanny. I cannot imagine the way that these kids are treated outside of the public eye!
47 comments:
Why shouldnt the adult get the bigger cone? You can't induldge children all the time. Im a mom and sort of feel like this incident wasnt all that bad. Perhaps she was having a bad day and needed the dumb cone!
To the anonymous person who commented above, so you think a nanny who has a temper tantrum becuase her cone drops and penalizes two tiny girls by swiping their cones away is okay? Sounds to me like she has maturity issues and anger issues and that would NEVER fly if she were taking care of my own. Who the F-ck is that piggy with a cone?
Ok, we never see all the angles of a story. Who knows that these kids are in a special diet??? Or maybe even with diabetes? So she was just protecting them by consumming more than they really could?
I'm with commenter #1. I've had those days with my own children. You give and you gice and you give and dammit - sometimes you don't want to share your cone!!! It's like - I give you my blood, and my air, and my space, and my time, and my heart and my sould because I LOVE YOU and I WOULDN'T TRADE YOU FOR THE WORLD. BUT. I am NOT giving you MY cone. I'm JUST NOT. Okay...well...I guess that's a MOM's perspective, not a nanny's. Still. Maybe she's a perfectly wonderful nanny having a crappy day. Not that big of a deal.
Let me reiterate. I told this story to a friend because I thought what I had seen was so awful. She had just read about the I saw your nanny site and suggested I post it. There was no special diet. The nanny got pissed off that her cone fell in the stroller and then she plunked it in to the garbage. She then ripped the cones from each of the little girl's hands and plunked those in to the garbage can. The girls were shocked and sad and started to cry. The nanny was pissed that her cone fell. She was taking out her anger over an ice cream cone that fell on children that could not have been much more than two years old. I am sorry that I am not conveying to you the emotion of what I saw. I wanted to pick up the garbage can and hurl it at the back of the nanny's head. Andreia, you sound like a goddamn wackjob. If your child has a special diet, you don't take them in to cold stone and get them cones. ANY good nanny or good mom would realize that when you have twins eating ice cream cones, you might not have the chance to dedicate yourself fully to the consumption of your own mammoth cone. "the angles of the story". What else do you want to know? This nanny was a beast. Next question?
It makes sense that bad mothers would defend bad nannies. Maybe they aren't even really mother's because this person doesn't sound like a real nanny. Sharing a cone, why be rude? Why snatch the cones away from a kid because your fell? Sounds like a punitive bitch. Who extracts "payback" like that on a toddler? I feel sorry for your children if you are a mother. You probably beat the living shit out of the kid anytime you have pms. rock on, bad ass.
If you have THAT LITTLE to give. DO NOT PROCREATE and DO NOT CHOOSE being a NANNY as your PROFESSION.
You said it sister, who is that piggy with a cone? I am a mother with one toddler and if I take her to the ice cream store it is for a cone for her. I end up eating most of her cone anyway to help her along as it melts. This nanny sounds a bit too gung ho to gobble up a big ole cone.
Aaarrrgghhh who is defending a nanny yanking ice cream from children? In the name of a pissy fit?
Good God. Is witholding ice cream now considered child abuse?
Maybe the nanny had skipped lunch.
Jesus, you people need a hobby.
WITHHOLDING ICE CREAM?
No but yanking the ice cream cones away from children because the nanny's cone fell IS just NUTS.
Wow, what tolerance you have for mistreating a child. If you can't grasp that that behavior is a window in to the kind of person who has no patience for chilren and shouldn't be left unsupervised with them, i dont know what is wrong with you. Is it your reading comprehension?
Nanny takes two young children to ice cream store. One young child repeatedly asks to sample the nanny's cone. Nanny demonstrates anger over this. (In a public place). Nanny begrudgingly gives a lick of her cone to the child. Child accidentally causes nanny's cone to drop. Nanny has psychotic rage episode and throws her cone in the can and as punsihment to the little kids she is in charge of Caring for she takes their kids away from them and throws them out to right the terrible wrong of the grown woman's cone falling. Two girls between 2 and 3? What happens when one accidentally pulls her hair? Or if the nanny pinches herself while closing the stroller? Who takes twins out for ice cream and really expects that they should have the time to eat their own "giant" cone unimpeded.
Get a hobby? This nanny made the kids cry just because the nanny's cone fell on the floor? She sounds like a psycho!
Ha ha ha, psychotic rage episode?
Bratty kid whines for ice cream and then knocks it down...nanny throws everybody's ice cream away.
Big freakin' deal. God, do you people have nothing better to do? Taking away ice cream is now considered abuse?
I want everyone to raise their hand who hasn't had a bad day and gotten pissy with their kids.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
As a mother, you are responsible for your child 24 hours a day. While I am sure mothers may from time to time make regrettable decisions and act harshly, I have a nanny and she would NEVER behave like this. A professional nanny does not act like this. They have a specific job description at which the top of patience and kindness. And not that I would think very highly of a mother that did the same to her child. Is it abusive? No, but it is clearly indicative that the nanny has issues.
I don't know about anyone else, but I personally wouldn't want my kids sharing from the nanny's cone! Call me a germaphobe, but that just grosses me out. Mom's cone? sure Nanny's cone? nope!
Taking candy from a baby. Who is defending this nanny? Not everything is abuse. But the nanny is a bitch. If you leave your kids who cant even speak up for themselves alone with a nanny, make sure she is nice. At the minimum!
Uggggh this site is now reminding me of a nother site dedicated to the sort of mothers that can afford to have nannies and either do or do not. Opinions from people who don't and could never are evident above. Sharing a cone with the nanny? Do you realize how close some children are to their nannies? They are closer to their nannies than their parents. The germaphobe person above obviously cannot grasp that. But having said that, if I was the mother of these children and observed this first hand, I would be pissed. The last thing you need is someone who is harsh and punitive! Good skills for a crossing guard maybe, but not a nanny!
"gotten pissy with their kids"
What kind of derelicts are visiting this site? SCARY!
It seems that the common, but unspoken, concensus permeating every posting on this site is that a nanny should, in every concievable way, be morally, spiritually, and emotionally superior to a parent.
That's just sad. Or maybe I'm just a bad mom.
We can rationalize this all we want (germs, nanny entitled to keep her cone, special diet, etc.) but the point is this: These girls are spending their days with a woman who is angry, frustrated and mean-spirited, and most importantly does not love them or care much about their emotional well-being. As mad as I have gotten with my twins, I would never vindictively grab their ice cream cones of their hands and toss them in the garbage. Would anyone who had any regard for their charges/children do that?
WTF is wrong with you people? I am a crappy housecleaner. I splatter grease when I cook. I wipe crumbs to the floor. I mop and leave streaks. I can never get the porcelin to sparkle. But when I pay a housekeeper to come in,I still know what has to be done. And I pay her to do the job the way it is supposed to be done. I expect her to clean the way I would if I made cleaning a priority. I expect my nanny to take care of my child the way I would if my child could by my #1 priority 24 hours a day. That is what she gets paid to do.
It is no wonder the world is in the state it is these days when people can find so many reasons to excuse an individual who was treating these two little girls with what I should have decribed as contempt. And that was before the ice cream even fell. Next time, I will most definitely say something straight away to the person/nanny/mother mistreating her child. The tolerance I see her saddens me. (I posted the original entry and the nanny was
M E A N)
No wonder people like Foley think they can send sexually charged emails to your children. Do so few of you really care about your children? So sad.
I guess I'm a bad mother, because if I'm out to get ice cream with my 2 year old... she gets a smaller cone than I do. If she asks for a taste of mine, I'll share it with her. If she WHINES when asking for a taste of mine, I will not share it with her. If she continues to be fussy and kick the stroller I will take her ice cream away from her and say "Bye Bye, ice cream." I don't believe in giving a child what they want because they can annoy me enough to make me give in. I would say the nanny's first mistake was giving in and sharing the cone to begin with. The girls had their own and it should have stayed that way.
you're a parent. the law gives you the right to treat your kids like shit. carry on.
I like the fact that someone is arguing that the children could be closer to their nanny than their parents so sharing ice cream should be ok, but at the same time the nanny is awful. I doubt kids would be close to her if she was so awful. Do I think that taking the ice cream cones was wrong? No, the kids where whining and misbehaving. Do I think there is more to the attitude and anger that she displayed that can't be conveyed in words? Probably.
I don't necessarily think that withholding ice cream from a child on occasion in an attempt to modify unacceptable behavior is treating your kids "like shit," but I appreciate the sarcasm... very amusing.
Is it me or was there one crappy ass, intolerant nanny, one fussy kid and one perfectly well behaved kid? What kind of maturity or intelligence is demonstrating by punishing both children? Or even one for that matter. It was a damn ice cream cone.
The thing here, I think, is that you want someone who shares your parenting philosophy to watch your children. you're paying someone to take care of them like you'd want them to be taken care of if you could make them your number one priority, all the time.
To some that means that you don't make the kids cry. You nurture, you give, you make them the most important thing there is.
To me that means raising them in a way that results in, at the end, responsible, balanced, functioning adults. Who, I hope, don't learn that if they whine, fuss, and kick, they get what they want. In fact if my nanny or sitter gave my kids what they wanted for a tantrum in public, I'd be inclined to ask just what the hell she was thinking.
I think this woman's attitude was probably inappropriate.
I think her actions were entirely fine.
For me. For my kids. I don't know how the mother of these children wants them handled. But this is a parenting philosophy matter, not something that needs to be reported here.
no wonder your children are shooting up schools and sexxing up congressmen. the actions of this person were not fine. it is not fine to be "mean". it is not fine, fair or rational to punish two kids for one child misbehaving. Some nannies work short days and some work long days. If I had to spend only eight hours a day with my child five days a week, I make fewer mistakes. If we don't raise the bar with regard to how children are cared for (by parents, nannies, etc) is it any wonder they are turning out so dysfunctionally?
Sometimes what appears to be "mean" (i.e. what makes a kid cry) isn't mean at all. Perhaps the children had been warned all day long about whiny behavior.
More to the point: if the nanny's cone fell into the stroller, it landed on a kid and probably spattered all over both. Instead of standing there in a Cold Stone trying to clean up sticky ice cream mess with whining, kicking toddlers and more ice cream getting all over everything, she may well have decided to cut her losses, toss the cones, get the kids out of there before they were too messy to get into the car (if she was driving) and before they really melted down, and take them home to clean them up.
I've had to make that call with my own kids (and have thrown things away in a way that looks angry but really is just my own reaction to the fact that they're wet and messy and sticky, because I have a sensory response to that sort of thing) and they've started to fuss and scream and protest, but I wasn't going to let them sit there are get even more covered in ice cream and more worked up (because if a kid is already fussy when they have ice cream, it's going to get worse when the ice cream is gone whether they eat it, drop it or it's taken from them) before I had to put them into the car. (I'm sorry, but when you have multiple kids, you don't want to spend time cleaning up car seats and upholstery. You do what you can to preempt such problems before they get out of control.)
You've got to be kidding me!! You really have nothing better to do than nitpick some nanny who doesn't share ice cream? Sounds to me like you were being a bit nosy and somewhat of a busybody. I seriously doubt you were staring at this trio for reasons of caring or concern for the kids wanting ice cream. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. She maybe should have been more patient and considerate with the children, yes. But I hardly think what you described was anything worth the effort you put into both spying on them, judgingly I might add, and posting this most ridiculous blog. This is coming from both a mother and a nanny and I'm just glad I'm states away from you- I might be reported to the police for telling my daughter no!
It was very much the effort. That nanny is on the clock eating her cone. She damn well better do so in a nice manner and who the hell is she to yank cones away from children? Did she pay for them? No. The boss did. Do you think the boss wants his money in the garbage? Ask yourself this, dont you think the tone of the whole scene is what motivated the send in? Ask yourself this, do you thinkk this nanny went home and told the boss what she did?
If you don't like the blog, GET OFF. Why are you here? WHY? Go to some pundit blog.
Kids really might be shooting up schools because some mean old person took their ice cream away.
Or they might be shooting up schools because they can't *believe* that they're not the most important person in the world, and the shock and disillusionment sent them off the deep end.
DUDE ABOVE we are talking about 2 year olds.
IT does seem that the nanny's attitude may have been problematic, I don't know, and I'm not really commenting on the scenario in the OP - I'm commenting on the tone here. What gets me is the judgment some people show on this site (this thread and others) over chubby/fat nannies, or what nannies eat. Eating a big ice cream cone is not aberrant behavior. It may not be the healthiest choice a person can make, but it doesn't make her fair game for ridicule as a person. Calling people "piggy" for eating an adult-sized ice cream cone is just not a mature thing to do. Are we wondering where kids get the idea it's OK to judge and ricidule others? I'm not.
Some of you people can't possibly be over 13 years old and God forbid you've been allowed to breed. The nanny was eating an ice cream "on the clock"?? Yeah, some nannies work 12 hour shifts cause the parents don't want to deal with fussy 2 year olds so she's supposed to go hungry until she's back in her own house and "off the clock"? Get a freakin clue. And how do you know who paid for the ice cream? Maybe the nanny did, you don't know for a fact WHO did.
I'm with the mom above who wants her child to grow up to be a responsible considerate adult. Part of that process is learning that you can't have everything you want just because you whined and screamed for it. A 2 year old ALWAYS wants whatever mommy or daddy or nanny is eating just because. It can be exactly the same stuff but it always looks better on someone else's plate or cone. WHY should they be allowed to comandeer someone else's food just because they haven't learned the concept yet of yours/mine/his. And I agree with germophobe, I don't like my own child and me to share spoons, cups, etc, let alone slobber on each other's ice cream. Doesn't matter how "close" you are, germs are germs and I could give him a cold or he give me one. Why is that a wonderful thing for us to share just because I love him?
i think the point was the nanny was an impatient shrew who snatched the cones out of both children's hands and tossed them in the garbage can because she the nanny was having a temper tantrum over ice cream cone dropping. This really isn't about whether or not the children should be allowed to ask for ice cream. There were two of them and the nanny could have been firm with the one. She didn't have to carry on like a wingnut.
The girls needed a swat on the butt..the nosy bystander needs to get on with her mundane existance!You people need to get a clue! Kids are brats these days!! I am shocked at all of you trying to reason with 2 year olds!! The age of reason is 8!!!!Have you seen how kids act in stores, at school or while waiting in line running errands with mom? It's appalling!This whiny, bratty behavior carries over to teenage life and into adulthood. We have literally raised a me,me,me instant gratification generation!!!!Children literally laugh at parents and teachers and whine until they get their way!! Stop this behavior. These problems started when the word" Corpral punishment " was added to our nations vocabulary..And..mom's left the homes to pursue a career! Their is a Goldie Hawn movie that sums it all up!! It's called "Deceived" the line is"oh for cryin' out loud, who's the God-damn adult here?"Love your children..spank them..teach them respect so the world does not look at them as little brats!!(which truly is your fault..not theirs!!)
WOW! Now I know the mind set of the parents who are behind the incredibly bad-mannered children in my kids schools. Listen up Mommies. Lesson #1; when a child of any age misbehaves with unacceptable behavior, i.e. kicking and screaming all "treats" go bye-bye. Positive behavior is awarded and negative behavior is punished with an award taken away.
here is a lesson for you-
you don't punish your kid because you are pissed off.
there were 2 kids.
the nanny was having a temper tantrum becauseher ice cream dropped and she punished BOTH children.
HOW IS THAT FAIR?
Quit defending these overpaid, intolerant thugs!
Over paid intolerant thugs!! You are the kind of person who spends money to get your fake nails done,have someone else clean your toilets,buy $60.00 jeans but skimp when it comes to your children!! No body said life is fair you cheapskate!!!!
are you kidding. where do you find 60 dollar jeans? walmart? any good pair of jeans cost a minimum of $130.
Ja, YOU(original post)made me laugh with all your nonsense. At first I was a unsure of what to think of your post, until I kept reading most comments and realized how full full of hate you are. Most likely abused/neglected as a child yourself or a bratty kid whose mom never gave in to your "wants".Definetly watching hatefully at a minor incident, telling your story and getting angrier by the minute because people (who probably had a good childhood or who knew how to make the best of their adult and childrens life) don't agree with you. Exagerating the story as you comment along, probably remembering your childhood. Props to that nanny for taking both childs cones away. You probably would of said something like this if she had left one with a cone,"while the other looked with a watery mouth, how mean this nanny singling out the child...." GET SOME T-H-E-R-A-P-Y
LOL this post is funny. first of all when i take the kids i take care of out to eat or for ice cream they know not to ask for mine especially when they have their own. if i decide i want to share, thats one thing, but they already know if they have a lapse in judgment and do ask and i say no they better not ask again. its not mean to have something as your own for crying out loud. kids dont need to be eating off your plate/cone or whatever you have anyway especially if they have their own. i think the nannys mistake was giving in. if she hadnt the cone would have never been bumped and dropped in the first place. and 5:38, who cares that she was eating ice cream while working? you sound so stupid!
and orginal poster: you suck as a mom and/or nanny if you dont have time to eat during the day. that is ridiculous! i hate when people use the excuse that they are busy with the kids so they cant shower/eat/change into clean clothes. if you dont know how to manage your time and have control of your kids enough that you can sit down and eat you dont know what youre doing.
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