Wednesday

Disconnection ;(

I babysit for 2 siblings. One is 15 months old and has been with me since 9 months. Mom had another baby and he is now almost 4 months old. Truth is there is no connection between the 4 month old and me. I don't know what to do. Idon't want to quit since I love the 15 month old. I just can't seem to connect with the younger one. He doesn't do anything but there is something about him, I just can't.

11 comments:

Samantha said...

Is this your first nannying job? How much time do you spend with 4 mo. old? I’m wondering if there’s no connection (yet) simply because of how young the baby is.

Leigh Raymer said...

Samantha - you are really smart with your comments! I hope you continue! I have a feeling here that the baby might be special needs, not able to show love being young. I know I went thru that as a young and older nanny. When I was younger, it mattered to me if the child reached out to me and connected with me - then I learned to care about reaching the child - doing anything it took - I do not know if that is the case - maybe the writer will update !

Corina said...

How can you judge a 4 month old with having special needs?

Leigh Raymer said...

Corina, I am not judging, I am merely entering the idea in for discussion, that is what the blog is for, but you are right no one should be judged. I have seen it written before that even at 4 months old babies should have certain responses to give and receive emotions, i have been a nanny and in child care for a long time, it's just something I have seen, I am not judging or making a diagnoses.

Corina said...

Where does it even say the baby isn’t giving or receiving emotions? I am thinking she means the baby doesn’t do much. Think about it at 4 months they are not mobile obviously like the 15 month old. She may feel
more connected to the eldest because he/she is now waking and and saying words. Giving hugs etc. While the infant is not in that stage yet.

Leigh Raymer said...

Corina you have a good point. The post bothers me because in any case the nanny needs to absolutely love their charge unconditionally, no matter about connecting - we just don't know - the person wrote what they wrote ! tu for your input !

Anonymous said...

Love doesn’t just happen, whether you’re a nanny or not. I’ve nannied for plenty of children that I got along well with but I certainly didn’t love them. Also, you mentioned that you “have a feeling” the child was special needs. That’s entering it for discussion. You made a decision about a baby with absolutely no information. I sympathize with this nanny because it’s not always easy to connect with a newborn that doesn’t do anything but eat and sleep. As the baby gets older and can interact more, hopefully a connection forms.
I kind of wish you wouldn’t comment.

Anonymous said...

*that’s NOT entering it for discussion.

Leigh Raymer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leigh Raymer said...

Anonymous, I am absolutely listening, I am lucky that for some reason I have never had trouble loving the kids. I do remember 2 kids I had to pretend to love lol, but this disconnection feeling is something I needed to learn about - thank you for your input

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