Friday

Am I Being Harassed?

So I have been a nanny  for 7 years and I know what I am doing. I have relocated to California from Oregon for my husbands job. I have worked for several families over many years and I feel I am being micro-managed and watched too closely. The dad works from home and basically spies on me, follows us to the park driving by in his car. Is this harassment? I am 30 and have worked with babies and all age groups for 7 years. These kids are 3 and 5. At the park I have to be with the 3 year old at all times, even if he is just walking in the play area. I sat down once to drink water, the dad drove by and said something. How far is too far? Today the dad wanted to know how frequently I visit the bathroom. Is that too far? They have the door rigged with an alarm so they know when I leave for the park. I feel trapped, I am not allowed to let the kids ride their bikes or power wheels. I feel like I am being treated as a child. I also feel they may be illegally taping me.

Editor's note : - we asked the Op if one of the kids got hurt while she was in the restroom and the Op answered   " No, but the 5 year old got into some valentines the mother was going to take back to the store, I do have a weak bladder, and the mother asked the 5 year old if I was in the restroom a lot and the 5 year old said yes"

6 comments:

Crescent said...

They aren't breaking any laws. If you don't like it, you quit.

Anonymous said...

It’s technically not illegal, but it sure is micromanagement, and at a beyond tolerable amount of it imo. Are you prepared to move on if need be,(because that’s the only leverage you have)? I would have a serious chat with them and let them know they either need to trust you to do your job, or you will move on. Taking a pee break is brief and shouldn’t be questioned. I’d also find out how exactly are the kids getting their exercise daily so they aren’t bouncing off the walls. If time isn’t allotted for that, you can’t properly manage them and may determine if you can continue there. After that if dad trails you in the car, give him the kids and end your shift immediately. He can put his supervisory skills to direct use as he feels it should be implemented. Your leverage is yourself, being willing and able to walk is the only thing parents like these will respect. Next time use this experience to question the parents about issues like these ( couched in a less confrontational way but suss out their parenting philosophy and how you fit in it.) Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Added note (I wrote the comment directly above): What I meant by "next time" was next time at a nanny job interview. I don't think you need to be as gentle with your current parent bosses. They are overdue for a professional, but terse talking too. Just curious...are you very young? Not that it would excuse this behavior to you at all but they seem to be treating you like a child. In any case I think you need to present yourself in a stern serious matter, draw yourself up to your full height, be sure your tone isn't iffy, uptick questioning in tone, or anything that shows you are unsure, upset or riled (though I'd be upset in the sense this behavior would have me fuming). You are a professional, you are providing a service, and your talk needs to reflect that This. Will. Not. Continue.

June said...

In the state of California they are legally required to disclose that you are being recorded only IF it is both audio and video. if it is just video, it is completely legal. If you are this unhappy you need to leave, it's that simple.

Samantha said...

Yes asking how often you go to the bathroom is too far, especially since the safety of their children is not compromised at this time. You are an adult and they are treating you like a child. IMO I would look for a new (healthy) job as soon as you can. Good luck!

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