Nanny asks you.. "What do I do?"

I quit my last position about a month ago- I left on good terms. I am able to see the boys when I want to. I was asked to babysit the boys overnight in a few weeks and of course I said yes. Last Weds I went over there to babysit all day (their sitter had called in sick). The children are 3 years and 10 months old. I was with the 3 year old from 5 1/2 months till just after he turned three. I went over there and was shocked at the 3 year olds behavior. He think physically hurting someone (especially his baby brother) is fun and allowed. He shoves, head butts, kicks, etc. He thinks it fun and a way to release angry. His parents are clueless (one reason I left the full time position). His dad told me (only seen family one other time since I left)- he does this all the time. They do speak to him about it but don't follow through with discipline. I don't want to go back. I left that day with a bruise on my back because this child head butts and I don't want the baby to get hurt while under my care. What do I do?


redridinghood said...

While it's great that you still get to see your former charges, the fact that the parents don't seem to be willing to rein in their son and stop him from physically hurting people would be a huge red flag for me; my advice would be to let the parents know that you won't be going back to look after their children again - and tell them exactly why!

Anonymous said...

I do not visit households where there are no consequences for harmful behavior. If the parent doesn't have a way to stop certain behaviors how could I possibly as a babysitter or for casual care? As a full time nanny I'd discuss with parents how we respond to behaviors and work on a plan but for casual sitting it's not worth the stress. Even for past families, because that's all I sit for these days.

I wouldn't go back and I'd be honest about why. Until there are consequences to them for his behavior they likely will not change. Losing childcare, losing babysitters, and eventually school issues will bring the point home. Or not, as is the case with some families.

Sarah said...

I really love these boys. I decided to go and hang with the boys. I am so glad I did. As soon as the parents left; I sat down with the child and gave him a firm but gentle talking to. I told him I was happy to be here and hoped for a good day. I also told him that his hands are only to hug and give high fives. He needed one warning the entire time I was there. The day was fantastic.