Wednesday

HELP PLEASE!! What do I do?

I am in a rough situation and I know I'm my heart the right thing to do. I know also what you are all going to say.. but here it goes.. the family I have been a nanny for has been really upsetting lately. Things have just gone south. Things are the same as they were when I first started 2 1/2 years ago.
Parents have become rude and crude. Mom is consistently embarrassing me and talking down to me or about his oldest. One time she took a 6oz baby bottle off the drying rack and found formula still inside (after she "washed it"). She put it into the sanitation bag and cleaned it that morning. I used the 4 oz bottles and didn't touch it all day.

I'm not allowed to suddenly take kids out. One time- mom didn't have an address for me to meet her I was calling from my cell phone in the car- trying to get to the doc office that I didn't know where it was and I got lost. After trying to call her 100 times- my cell died in the car. I went home in tears.

Bosses are always late. My position starts and ends at 7am/6pm. I understand that they have the occasional traffic/car troubles but this is everyday I don't get to leave before 6:30/6:45. Sometimes, especially with dad, around 7pm.

A couple weeks ago- mom had picked up C from school (the oldest- he just turned 3 years) he came home screaming/crying for mom to play with him. Also found out (next day) that oldest wanted to take his mom out for coffee. C wanted to spend time with her. Anyway, mom had to finish her work in home office. Had to be on call. Mom was so upset. "I have to get on this call- its so important- S (me the nanny) will you please just f&$@in feed him (child gets symptoms of low blood sugar and can get really upset) so he stops being an a$&. I was so upset!! She has no control over her kid.

The oldest has hit his baby brother- right in front of me and mom (as we were talking). I said C you are in time out and mom says time outs are a joke to him (child) I count... Um thanks for telling me and what does counting do? Oldest is very sweet and loving. Super smart. But mom let's him get away with everything. He has bit me and times out work wonders for me. I never have an issue afterwards. I've tried to talk to my bosses and nothing is being resolved. (I get nothing but blame and mind your business attitude from boss- like she so frustrated with me...

I have a chance to leave this position this week. I was offered a fabulous job with a lot more money. I would have to start next week. I love the boys I currently work with and have not told my bosses yet- I know it will end ugly. I don't want to do this with the boys- I have a bond with them. This thought is killing me.. but when you have bosses that treat you like crap....Help!!



8 comments:

Anonymous said...

OP here:

With the bottle situation- Later in the day MB took it off the rack and the formula mess inside. She blamed me. Oh S(nanny) you have to wash these better!!! Um I didn't wash it in the first place nor to I use those 6 oz bottles during the day.

Corina Yildiz said...

Sounds like a similar posting on the old ISYN. Am I the on,y one that heard this story? Wording just a little different.

Erica said...

....you've not asked a question?

Leigh Raymer said...

This Post simply came thru our email - if you have not already - YOU NEED TO TAKE THE BETTER JOB. I can tell you from experience it's bad for your health to be in an abusive situation - get out. You love the boys, offer to come visit/watch them for free a couple of times, but be prepared for meanness from the mom. Do not stay in a toxic situation when you do not have to - let us know what happens

Anonymous said...

Another post I don't quite understand. The oldest wants to take the mom out for coffee? That makes no sense. I'm not really getting what the problem is. The thing is, if someone has actually offered you a better job, why are you writing to random people on the internet about what to do? Ugh. And yeah, @Corina, this totally sounds familiar.

Leigh Raymer said...

a note: what I got out of it is - some nannies are very strong minded, like the contributors above, but other nannies and humans allow themselves to be manipulated and the manipulators really know who they can bully. Also, the manipulators use the kids to get the timid nanny to stay and tow the line, so yes, we have seen this type of thing before and the OPs comes here for advice.

The Op is going to have to break away from the beloved kids to get away from the toxic environment ( I have been thru this as a nanny) - NOW. As posters said above, while she has a good offer. I hope she keeps us posted, and TAKES THE BETTER JOB!

Sarah said...

OP here: actively looking for a new position. Current family showered me with bday gifts this morning. Why feel bad about what's happening soon? Cursed with a good heart....

Erica said...

This makes no sense. You wrote you had a position offered to you, and now you're saying you're job hunting.