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I have had a nanny job for 3 months and I really need it but there is a part that makes me really uncomfortable.

The younger brother is 4 and the older brother is 7, I am mainly hired for the younger brother, gladly, but I do have to deal with the older brother who I believe is unruly and mean. I always have a fun day with 4 yr old and then when 7 gets home at about 3 by carpool, I constantly have to make sure he does not attack 4 yr old, calls him names, smacks the side of his head, even says " I should kill you!", One time 7 yr said to me - first week - "feel free to smack him anytime you want, I do". Now 7 yr old has many activities and my time with him is limited - Thank goodness for that. The dad works so much I rarely see him, but the mom does get home from work and keeps me there about an hour till she is settled and when 7 yr old says these things to his brother she says in sing song voice "not nice" or ignores it, etc. Now, I am careful to see if 4 yr is ever injured and he is not that I can see - no bruises, and I do what I think best - he adores me - i would do anything for him. But am I doing enough? I need this job. What do I do? thank you



8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Be aware of other jobs that may come up - this one is making you uncomfortable and putting you in a position of stress which was not agreed upon, try to leave, it will not make you a bad person, sometimes you have to help yourself

NotjustaNanny said...

I agree with Anonymous.... look for another job, there are plenty of jobs out there.

Kat F said...

This is CPS worthy. The four year old is being attacked in his own home and his mother is doing NOTHING to stop it. You are a MANDATORY reporter, so report this.

Elephant Kisses said...

Is this in Chicago

Anonymous said...

clearly the older boy is over scheduled and jealous that you are there with his brother all day. you also said you see yourself as a nanny primarily for the younger boy....is that what the parents said to you? To take care of younger one and ignore the older one? That poor older kid gets no attention from any adult in the house. I feel for him.

Anonymous said...

Call child abuse hotline the next time he makes a threat.

George said...

Oh cmon, seriously? Two of you want to call CPS on the family because the 7 year child isnt nice to his 4 year old brother? Last time I checked, a 7 year old isnt mature. 3 month is certainly not long enough to know the history. For all tou know, the mother has corrected the older brother countless times. If its real abuse, its one thing. But this sounds like the older brother is jealous and mean

DanishNanny said...

You need to let older brother know that this is NOT OKAY. He needs to learn from the adults around him that being mean/hurtful/abusive is NOT OKAY, and little brother needs to learn that nobody is allowed to talk to him like that, EVER.

Talk to the mom about how you will work on this, be professional and serious about it, just like you would be about and matter concerning the children (this is your job, you need to take it seriously). Let mom know that this is NOT "normal", "cute" or even "okay", because It's teaching little brother that when simeons is mean to him, he just has to take it and nobody will help him.

Come up with a plan with mom to curb this unacceptable behaviour ASAP.

Apart from Kettinge older brother know this is NOT OKAY, try to schedule some things the brothers Can do together, and make sure you give them both positive attention.