The Dinner, Interview and Being Too Nice

I advertised on social media about being available for weekend childcare. Having been a weekend nanny with an education background, I was specific about the schedule and the pay. I got a response from a family located a half hour from me. The drive wouldn't be that bad because it is mainly interstate. I met the parent, a single mother with sole custody of her son; dad isn't in the picture. She is a sweet person, offered me the position which is one weekend per month, totaling 28.5 over the two days, Saturday and Sunday. This would be in addition to working full time during the week. As it turns out, she is the sister of a family enrolled in my old center, and may know my former nanny family, as this mother and my MB are both in the same field. 

When I wrote the ad, I was specific as well in pay: $10-15/hr, negotiable. This position pays $50/day, which is $100 per weekend. That is well below what I want, and the only reason I accepted the position is because she's a single mom, very nice and I know her sister. 

After thinking about it, I don't want the position. Part of it is the fact that I have to be there at 6a, which is getting to be the norm for me with my new job. The other part is that I would be there 14 hours both days, not to mention the pay. I have great pay with my new position, but I am trying to move and have bills to pay, just like anyone else. 

Is there a decent way to tell her I'm not interested? I drove out to her after work, she bought me dinner. I don't feel like I wasted anyone's time, but I also don't want to upset her, either.


Unknown said...

So less than $4.00 an hour? 😳
I have a hard time believing you are worried about turning this position down.
So she is a nice person and you know her relative. That doesn't come into the equation.
I can't believe she doesn't feel ashamed of herself.

Anonymous said...

Simply tell her "My rate is X, the rate you proposed after doing the math was less then $4/hour. Maybe you forgot but minimum wage is Y"

It is illegal for any employer to pay less then minimum wage. So you could take the job and sue her for back wages and claim you didn't know it wasn't minimum wage compliant. The law clearly states it's the employer's responsibility to know and comply with the law; that burden doesn't fall on the employee. And yes, when I was desperate for a job I did just that; you seek legal help from a law school with lawyers who will take the case pro-bono.

Seriously though, this mom should really put her children in a child care facility and then have a nanny for the hours it doesn't cover. No nice person would ever pay an illegal un-livable wage. A nice person would realize they can't afford it and find an option they can. A nice person wouldn't shove someone under the financial bus for their gain.

OP said...

I waited for a long time to find my part time nanny weekend position and it was worth the wait. The hourly pay was good, and it ended due the upcoming birth of a third child and the au pair was a less expensive way for childcare with a two mortgages and the cost of center based care.

After thinking about it for a few days, I did what I had to do. She didn't seem too upset and even if she was, I didn't really care. I understand that it can be a struggle as a single mom. But be realistic.

Anonymous said...

Dont put anyone elses feelings before your own. Stand up for yourself. Sometimes the truth does hurt but its always better than lying and sacrificing yourself for. Stand up for yourself! It will get easier and easier the more you do it.