Grandma Nanny Takes Advantage

My Nanny is a grandmother in her forties and she has a 9 year old granddaughter, my children are 2 girls, 5 years and 2.5 years. My nanny kind of pressured me into letting bring her gd to work, not an emergency but to give her parents some space. At first I thought this idea could be helpful to my 5 year old, she could learn from an older playmate...but, my nanny's gd is very aggressive with her, telling her what to do, and grabbing her toys etc. Sometimes I feel I need to take my daughter with me to the store etc which defeats the point of having a nanny. It has gotten better a little, it's apparent my nanny has said something as the gd has said   " I need to be nice and do thus and so" to my little girl, but I am still not comfortable - suggestions?


Leigh Raymer said...

I am going to vent my own feelings about this issue as I have experienced it. On one hand - women ( usually) who need to work and have childcare simultaneously have it very rough, there is no clear cut solution. But I have had women work for me who become calloused and irresponsible bringing their kids to the job causing all kinds of havoc from preventing their mom doing the job to doing damage to the venue and too much to list here.

Then I am made to be the bad guy if I tell them how they must not bring their kids to the job- they guilt trip me like I am atilla the hun, so I have had to deal with this, I have had to let them go and they hate me to this day, very distressing

Unknown said...

Have a sit down with your nanny while her grandchild is not present, schedule it for a Starbucks on the weekend if you need to.

Let her know your concerns, tell her that while you'd like to be accommodating to her needs it's not worth it to you if you're concerned about how your child is being treated while you're away. Tell her the issues that specifically bother you and ask her how she thinks the two of you can work together to find a solution. Grandma giving the 9yo a talking to should help but she will need to follow through on correcting her granddaughter when she misbehaves.

You're right to be concerned, after all you pay for this care and it may as well be as perfect as possible. If the child's behavior doesn't change after a good talk with your nanny then it's time to ask that the child no longer come over (or find a new nanny if that's a deal breaker for her). I'm guessing the girl is in school most of the time but if you're unhappy with the time your 5yo is having then make a change, it's your right.