Tuesday

Questions for Nannies and Moms

My question is...what is the standard for when a nanny wants to bring her own child to care for while they care for yours? I have had 2 candidates with lots of experience who seemed lovely who want to bring their own child (in both cases the child is a toddler). Neither one of them has offered any kind of discount for bringing her own child which I find a little odd and in fact one asked higher rate than we are offering. I'm not opposed to a nanny who wants to bring her child but I think there has to be something in it for me...like a reduced rate of pay. As wonderful as they might be, their attention will be divided, much like a nanny share would be.

We were looking to pay around $18/hr. for about 35 hours/week. I kind of expected these nannies to knock ~$5/hr off their rate to bring their child (a full time toddler daycare starts at around $1500 per month where we live so if she were paying for care herself that's what she'd pay....so I feel like we both come out ahead). Trying to decide if I should just remove these nannies from the running or offer them a lower rate of pay? What have others done? (note: these are basically strangers to me...I might feel differently with a nanny who had been with our family for a while who then had a baby...)

Thank you in advance,




19 comments:

Chloe said...

Unprofessional to say the least. No way! Rule them out.

Anonymous said...

If you like the nannies and don't mind that they bring their children with them - offer them the reduced rate. I'd be prepared to negotiate a bit ($5-4), and if they accept - great. If not, look at other candidates. The truth is that you are willing to pay $18/hr for her to watch just your child. If there's another (not your own) child in the mix you should expect to pay less - perhaps they've already included the deduction in their rate, and would otherwise cost $20something/hr?
Personally, as a parent, I wouldn't be happy with the nanny bringing her children - maybe it would be different if she worked for me for years but even then I probably wouldn't be comfortable unless the child was very young or the same age as my own.
I feel that you pay, you set the rules. There are plenty of great nannies available.

Samjam said...

You would essentially be PAYING her to be a sahm. And have your kid tagged along. Nope.

Liz said...

Yeah I have to say I agree with those who have already commented. I actually remember having two different nannies growing up who brought their children. Each time I distinctly remember feeling a little ignored,having to compromise in my own house on things such as the bath water temp as her child liked it almost cold, having to deal with the awkwardness of two dicipline styles (my parents never ever spanked but she did regularly. I never told my mom about how I felt probably because I was like 5, but I do remember it and for those reasons would probably not go in that direction myself as a parent. Good luck!

Karen Nomore said...

I think you should hire her if you think she's qualified ))remember she's a mom and has real life experience. your child could have a friend to socialize with. I don't think she should get paid less. you want your nanny to be happy, to enjoy coming to work,to be able to pay her bills too. she would know what to do in emergencies, there are a lot of pros and cons so weigh your options but I don't think you shouldn't hire her bc she wants to keep her child close. if anything, that shows she knows how to care for your child rather than someone with no experience that can lie and say they do on "paper". you can hire someone who doesn't want to bring their kids, but I guarantee at some point they will bring them once they get to know you. a lot of people do this. I think that's ok. kids have play dates all the time. maybe you could suggest her bringing her child part time. or on a trial period to see if it works out. I think part time is fair at the same rate you were going to pay. she could afford part time care, still gets to be with her child and your child gets a friend, gets socialized, and you get a nanny that has real experience, who's responsible, who will be happy and feel respected and valued and your child will only benefit from a happy nanny. have you ever seen a mean nanny, one that's angry she has to watch your kid just to put hers in daycare? a lot of nannys have their own children and while they are young struggle with this part of the job. I'm talking about career nannies. some can handle it and some can not. why not let her child come? you need to feel like your getting something out of this deal, I get that. how about helping another mother out? not to be rude, but not everyone is fortunate enough that they can afford a nanny. they are the nannies. the housekeepers etc. I used to watch a little boy for $4 hr bc the mom was a single mom and just needed to get on her feet. and she did. I'm glad I helped. I get paid a lot more than that obviously but it was the right thing to do. people who you do right by will do right by you. be loyal and honest. just don't count them out bc their kids need to come
she will be the one to,do the work it shouldn't even effect you
you. have a contract, give her a trial period, pay her the amount you offered originally. you may have to go though a few nannies to find the one. good luck


Jaxx said...

Well said Karen! I agree with you 100 percent! I couldn't have said it better!

Kara Ivy said...

Exactly, Jaxx...I couldn't have said it any better, Karen. If you feel she's well qualified like you said, do a trial basis with a contract and see how it works out. It's hard to find a REALLY good nanny now a days!

NYCNANNY said...

"have you ever seen a mean nanny, one that's angry she has to watch your kid just to put hers in daycare? a lot of nannys have their own children and while they are young struggle with this part of the job. "

Lots of people leave their kids to go to a job everyday. Why should nannies be any different. If you don't like it or can't handle it go into another line of work.

I'm so sick of hearing about nannies expecting to bring their kids to work, get lunch provided to them, do their laundry at work, run personal errands , ect....

Also what happens when you want the nanny to take your child to a music class or open play and the nanny can't or doesn't want to spend money for her child too? Are you expected to cover that? Are you expected to feed her child all meals during working hours?

Seriously. Get a nanny who has professional work boundaries.

-a nanny

Karen Nomore said...

there are many types of child care. some watch kids in their own home, some bring their kids to your home, some go to daycare,some have a nanny,a babysitter, grandma, an uncle,free state provided daycare whatever it may be. A woman who runs a home daycare and has her own children there,is she crossing boundaries? she runs a business,is licenced,has a great set up for the kids.does that make someone unprofessional? like I said there are many forms of childcare and if the person caring for those children knows what she's doing and it's her job and it's what she loves that doesn't make her a joke.you don't have to sit behind a desk for it to be a "real job". obviously the nanny would bring her own food to feed her child and pay for outings etc. if she expects her boss to pay than she shouldn't be there. but to tell you the truth a lot of nannys get all types of percs, such as a car to drive, gas paid,gym memberships, country club memberships,cell phone paid every month,vacations,x mas bonus,birthday presents,gift cards,gas cards,credit,cards for lunch at panera everyday,you name it!! is that crossing boundaries and being unprofessional too?..... if the original poster is considering the woman that wants to bring her kid rather than a woman who wouldnt then that should tell you something. that she is worth it.

Jill said...

When a nanny brings her child to work, she does do so at a discounted rate. I wouldn't do it for 13 but 16 would work for me. My regular rate is higher than 18 so I would be offering my NF a discount.

Your child benefits from the social interaction and the built in playmate. If there are classes to be taken, the nanny would pay for her child to take the class. And of course provide her own kid's food and supplies.

It can work, but the nanny needs prior nanny share experience. And the family needs for be open minded. It's not for everyone. It's OK to say no and pay a higher Rte for one on one care

Anonymous said...

As a nanny not allowed to bring my child I can say it's hard. I had plenty of experience with families that I brought my son, they loved him, this is the first time I took a position like this. Everyday is a struggle because I'm raising someone else's child while I'm left with little time to raise my own. With this said and the hours you're offering this is not the case, the hours are low enough where they can find childcare and balance the work. I wouldn't mind leaving my child for only 35hrs a week at that pay, just make sure the package you're offering is worth what she will pay in childcare or allow the child part-time as someone mentioned. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

And that is exactly the reason why I will not have a child until 40yo is (when I retire from nannying), because parents will use this as a leverage during negociations

35 hours is not a lot.Perhaps that is that's why neither of them offered to lower their rate. I am currently single with no other mouth to feed but mine yet I couldn't live on what you offer and as a result would either negotiate a higher rate or pass. I am sure they would have been able to make an effort when it comes to the rate if it was 50+ guaranteed hours on the book.

If you really are looking to pay less, I would suggest you go for a childminder that will care for your child at her home at a reduced rate.Also, unlike nannies who have the statut of employees ( you pay taxes), I believe childminders are self employed since they work under their own rules and sort out their own taxes.Many Nannies end up being childminder once they are mom because although they do offer a reduced rate, since they care for many children, it ads up to a fair overall rate so they can make as much money as a Nanny charging a full rate.

Hope it helped!

Kara Ivy said...

What is a, "childminder"? I've never heard that term before. What is the difference between a, "childminder" and a nanny? Just curious. Thanks! :)

Jaxx said...

I was thinking the exact same thing

Jaxx said...

Google says: A childminder is a person who works with children more than 2 hours per day in their own home for reward. The England, Scottland, Wales area use this term.

Taleia said...

I think it's the UK term for daycare. Could be wrong.

Ness said...

I think it's pretty asinine to not offer a reduced rate to bring your own child. Personally, if a great nanny who was working with my kids already told me she was expecting and hoped to bring her child to work, I would allow it without a reduced rate. But I wouldn't hire a nanny who wanted to bring her child who didn't acknowledge this as a HUGE PERK and offer to knock off a few bucks per hour who was unknown to me. It almost seems like a bad omen about entitlement to come. And it DOES seem complicated in terms of snacks and toys and other supplies. These things are also complicated in a nanny share but in those cases the families benefit with a reduced rate per family. I would avoid and try to find a nanny you like who doesn't want to bring her kid.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I am based in the U.K, that's why I used the term childminder but I'm sure you guys have that too in America , maybe they use another word ? But it's pretty much the same as a Nanny appart from the fact that they work at their own home and under their own rules which makes them self employed instead of employed.

For exemple, a Nanny would earn between 10£ ph for begginers and 15£ per hours for the most experienced while a childminder would charge 5/8£ per hour per kids and are self employed . Some would instead set up a package price for each kids per week instead of hourly and like daycare ask parents to still pay for holidays if they want their kids to keep their spot,but since they can take up to 4 kids , the pay ends up being pretty descent so they can actually make as much as a Nanny, if not more in some cases. This is the usual route Nannies take once they have children so they can keep working at their home. Also they tend to know that bringing their child to work will be used as a leverage during negotiations, especially if they don't live in a Major cities and have less interview opportunities. So they anticipate.They don't stop their career choice , they just modify it slightly.

The goal in a carrer is that the salary should be increasing overtime, not decreasing which is what happen to most Nannies who want to bring their own child at work. My advice to those women if they want to remain in childcare and keep earning descent wages is to become a childminder and care for children at their own home. That way they can still have control of having a decent income and not be punished for deciding to have children.

Although I must say , they are regulations since they take care of children at their home . They need to be registered and inspected in order to make sure that their house/flat is fit for children and completely childproofed.

In OP's case , I think she should go for a childless Nanny that will focus 100 per cent on her child.

Kara Ivy said...

It sounds as if a, "childminder" in the UK would be the same as an, "at home daycare provider". Which is what I did myself for a few years until I realized I needed to separate working from home life by not living around thousands of baby toys (when I don't even have my own kids) 24/7. I took a year off after doing daycare/nanny/nanny share (all at the same time) before going back into being a solo nanny for an almost 3 year old girl. Best choice I ever made was to separate work from home. I'm lucky my hubby put up with it for so long! I love my little girl, my NF and my job sooooooo much more now!!!