I have a bit of a issue that I'm not sure how to handle, or even if I should say anything at all. To give some background: I've found the family I work for online, and from the ad itself it was clear to me that there's something unusual about the family since they used a word 'spouse' instead wife or husband. Anyhow, before the interview with the family, I was given the website that the parents kept a blog on and I learnt that it's a two-dad household. I don't mind or care particularly so I went for the interview. I think that the dads were a little concerned at the interview that I didn't bring up the fact they are gay parents because they brought it up towards the end as in 'so, you are aware we are gay dads, just so you are ok with that' kind of the way to which I was kind of 'good for you'. For me it's the same if I nannied for a family that's black or Asian (I'm white), blended (step parents) or was a single dad/mum family-different doesn't mean wrong. I've worked for them for couple of months now and I'm very happy, and the kids are simply wonderful!
But I have an issue with the cleaner/housekeeper...When I started they had a Polish woman who would ask me all sorts of questions about the family and kids, like how did the parents get the kids, did they adopt, who's the bio dad, bio mum, etc. I found it a little awkward (especially since she worked for the family since before the kids were born, and anyway, it's kind of a personal family business, isn't it?), but shared what I knew from the blog (which is very basic stuff that the parents made public themselves). There was some awkward musings on her part on which child looks like which dad, but that was kind of all of it. But then the family let that cleaner go and got a cleaning service instead. The woman from there, on the other hand not only had the same awkward questions but also made some comments that I (!) feel kind of offended/concerned by. Just today she commented on the little girl 'poor thing doesn't have a mother' and 'it's wrong for the kids to be in that lifestyle'. I kind of shrugged off the mother comment because the kids and I were going to the bathroom to brush teeth (they are still very young and wouldn't understand anyhow), but the other comment annoyed me enough that I snapped (I was preparing lunch in the kitchen while kids were playing in the living room/playroom) at her that they are loved and most of all kids need to be loved by their parents. I also said something kind of like, there's plenty of single parent homes where there's no dad or mum, and kids are fine ao the fact there no mother in the picture doesn't mean anything. There's plenty of unloved, uncared for kids and even kids living in abusive household - those are the 'poor things', not my charges! The cleaning lady didn't say anything to it so I'm hoping that's the end of these comments, but it really bothers me. The kids are getting older and they will start noticing such things. I don't want to cause this woman to lose her job, and she does clean really well, so there's that. Also I keep the kids away from her so we don't disturb her - we go to the gym, etc, so there's no interaction between them other than 'hi'. I'm also a little uncomfortable bringing it to the parent's attention - I'm sure they deal with this stuff enough as it is. And then, there are the kids - she's nothing but smiles (she doesn't speak much English and speaks a broken Polish/Russian to me) to them, but the fact itself that she comes to their house with that attitude makes me uncomfortable. So, I'm not sure what to do. I would really appreciate advice from other nannies as well as parent, perhaps someone has been in that situation? If any gay parents read this - would you want to know about it?