Sunday was a little shorter, and once Sunday came around, I was back in "adult mode", and going back into my routine of working twelve days on between two jobs and two days off. A had a meltdown about something, and when she has these moments, I ignore her by telling her in a calm voice she needs to use words, because I cannot understand her when she cries. I go on about the morning, clearing breakfast dishes, sorting clothes, playing with P, etc. while she melts down. Sometimes she tries to kick or slap me, not because she is a mean child, but because she, as a preschooler, wants to test the limits. When she does this, I give her three warnings before putting her in her "spot", followed by the timer for 2:45 minutes. I still ignore her, and when she is done we discuss why she was upset and and the nice way to handle things. This works with her and everything is cool. She is a sweet, funny, charming child whom I love with all my heart.
I don't know what caused the meltdown. She kicked me, and I placed her in her spot, where she was screaming because she knew she made a bad choice. The next thing I know, P is having a meltdown as well, for what, I don't know. I'm keeping an eye on him so he doesn't fall and hurt himself, and while he is screaming, he's asking for a nuk. It's a guess where he learned to ask for a nuk during a temper tantrum, isn't it? I ignore him too, as I think the meltdown started largely because A started one. I have never had a toddler ask for nuk during a temper tantrum.
After a few minutes, everything was calm. We went outside, explored snow and ice and had fun. We ate lunch, took a nap and nobody had anymore meltdowns. I mentioned something to DB about his meltdown and I mentioned that he asked for a nuk during that time. DB tells me they give him a nuk to calm him down when he's upset. They are a sweet couple, yet sometimes I think they need to rethink their parenting.
When baby comes in July, A will be 3 years and 4 months, and P will be 2. Will nuks be given as a soothing calming during meltdowns and nap? I feel as though by giving a nuk on demand to calm down, nothing is being learned, such as self-soothing or regulation.
Personally, I want to throw the nuks out. I have to remember they are not my kids, yet I have free run of house when I am there. I'm considering stopping use of the nuk during nap for P, just to see what happens, because my feeling is that once baby comes, it will be harder for him to give up the nuk.
If nuks are given out for comfort, nannies should get naps, lovies and chocolate in their work agreements.
Our lives as nannies....but we love it.