Background: My best friend and I were both looking for summer nanny jobs together. I ended up taking my job first, and it was for a mother's helper at $12.00 per hour.My friend got her job two weeks later and it is a nanny job at $18. an hour. I took the first job I was offered because I wanted to work.
As it turns out, we are 15 minutes from each other in towns on the Hudson River. I work from 7-6:30. She works from 7-6. My first complaint is that I do more, not less than her for my money. I am a mother's helper or father's helper. Whichever parent is with the kids, and it is mostly the mom, I am her right hand. I cook, clean, toilet, make beds, do laundry, play games, read, run, swim, etc. My friend does all of the same but without a mom staring her down the whole time and for $5 more per hour. I'm just saying, mother's helper jobs are a scam and a half.
Now I can do the work and do the work without complaint. It isn't this family's fault, I have a great job to compare my job too. The kids are sweet. We're doing lots of fun things.
I do have a problem with the father. He takes the mother's helper role to the extreme. He is always sending me for something. Literally told me to "go fetch the sunhat from the trunk" and he said that in front of people. Also, he is a bit overweight and hairy and he wears what look like football under shorts for his swimsuit. I can clearly see the outline of his wiener, as can everyone. I mean, I can see veins, it's that clear. I'm hoping that August ushers in a new swimsuit or I might just have to spend some of my pitiful earnings and get him something from Target.
Another problem with the father is that we go to the beach a lot. He doesn't communicate well with me at all. Like he will take one child in the water for a far out swim and not tell me.. or he will set out with two children to go the snackbar and send one back, and meanwhile, I wasn't expecting it or looking out for the child.
The father also has asked me every day to put lotion on his back and it isn't the spray stuff. He hands me a tube of banana boat and says, "Laurell isn't here, so I guess you're up, go crazy". It's just weird. And usually other people are around.
Lastly, when with the father, we meet up with other families at the beach. And if someone like needs to take their child to the bathroom, he says to them, "let the nanny do it". That would be me, taking a strange child to the bathroom. I said as much as, "I don't know this child, I think that would make her uncomfortable" to which my boss said, "oh Nina's been through so many nannies, the kid won't even care". and then I find myself doing it, which is wrong on so many levels.
My job goes through labor day. I have let this go on too long. Rather than involve the mom, I would like to handle this directly with the father and practice being assertive. Any ideas of how and when to start the conversation? We are also going away next weekend for a Thurs/Fri overnight at Hershey Park. I feel I need to address this in advance because his brother and sister in law are also going and I can just see myself shepherding 5 kids!