Saturday

I just want to come out ahead..honestly

     I am a nanny for two boys 9 & 11. Both take multiple doses of Adder-all per day. I have noticed that we are often short or out of Adderall before the time. I also asked the boy (and I feel bad, but I tried to be very casual) what pills he took in the morning and he said he only took a multivitamin. If there were no issues, I wouldn't care if the Mom was sucking down the adderall, but there are issues.
     The 9 year old boy has no impulse control. I am a live-in nanny and work from 7-8 and 2-9 at night, but he has been removed from school so many times, for a day, two days, three days. That also means he is home with me. Now, I get that I knew in the beginning that if a child was home sick, it would be a long day, but there was never any mention of suspensions.

My question is two fold. #1 If I can prove the Adderall thing, ie I am guessing he has NONE in his system, is that medical neglect? (It is prescribed by his psychiatrist).

#2 The behavior problems of this unmanaged ADD are making my life harder. He is in a day camp program this summer, but I might expect him to be removed from that too. I am tired of picking him up early. I am exhausted by his behavior. He would be a lot to deal with if only during the non school hours. For my sanity, I feel like I need the 8-2 period free. Is there a way to address this (and not the medication) with the family in a way that positively affects me? They are of significant means, so I don't think paying more should be a problem, it was just never agreed upon.

I'm not looking to change jobs, although if they won't work with me, I think I would need to report them somehow because if I can't manage these kids, who else will be able to? I have been here almost a year. As a side note, in the beginning, I believe he was taking the pills and there was a significant positive change in both of their behaviors.

20 comments:

this_nick said...

D.C.F.

Jenny said...

If they are taking his medication- thereby depriving him of it- it needs to be reported. His Dr obviously feels that he should be on Adderall.If you don't want to quit, you should take steps to notify the proper authorities. It's more than your downtime at stake here. The child's well-being is at risk. For me, this is too much to deal with and I would quit. Of course, live-in work is too much anyway and I couldn't do it. I hope you can find a solution that works for you! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

DCF?? Seriously? Wow.

ADD/ADHD can be subjective and often a pitfall for many issues and MANY kids are wrongfully diagnosed. I work with SN..this is my niche.

Clearly there are issues here that need to be addressed. The meds isn't even one of them. Is he in therapies? Has he had proposer testing and guidance? Doess he have a tutor?

This sounds like something above what you are capable of providing. A discussion is in order though. Should you stay? If you do, then a pay raise is in order. Realistically, he needs one on one with someone equipped to handle him and teach him skills.

Angi

Anonymous said...

Because doctors are always right?

Angi

Calla said...

Doctors know more than a parent who is stealing medication. Yes. This child needs more than meds (interventions, therapy, someone specialized in ADHD, ADD etc...) but his meds were prescribed and shouldn't be stolen from him. Nanny is focused on the strain she's under. I can understand her POV as this can be very draining, but ultimately, this child needs help!

nc said...

Who takes the kid to the psychiatrist? If you go, I would mention you feeling like the kid isn't taking the medication. The psychiatrist can then ask the kid about it to confirm he isn't taking it, and reach out to mom once the psychiatrist knows this. Maybe having the psychiatrist reaches out to mom, things will start to change.

S said...

Angi,

Maybe you have had good fortune in working with families that are capable and willing to make the necessary changes for a special needs child that keeps them out of the add/adhd net that "problematic children" are quickly thrown into. However, many child care providers are working with parents that are not willing and/or capable of providing the stability, consistency and support that these children need to flourish without the need of medication. Its an ugly fact but it is what it is. The prescribing psychiatrists are aware of this when they write prescriptions. A kid who has parents stealing their medicine probably falls in the latter category. As much as the poster tries to remedy the issue using alternative solutions, she will fail because she doesn't have the support of the parents. I am posting this to counteract the guilt that the poster may feel in response to both your posts. You are not being realistic and her perspective is very practical in my opinion.

S said...

I agree with nc. Also, there is a possibility that the child has grown tolerance to the medicine and needs a higher dosage. I also agree with the right to ask for more pay on the days that he is home. Should you stay, you need to ackowledge the fact that you need to educate yourself on the proper ways to provide this child methods for coping with his behavioral issues in a positive way. If they are willing, perhaps ask them to provide you financial support for education for this particular type of care. You will get the motivation required for taking on this challenge and feel fulfilled in not giving up on him. I've been in a similar situation but with parents that refused medicine and were not capable of providing stability and consistency. It is hard and as time goes on your heart hurts for the child that isn't being provided a fair chance to thrive. Ensure you will have access to the resources necessary to help him before you commit to staying on this job further. Best of luck, S

Anonymous said...

There is no proof parents are stealing, it was speculation on OPs part. There is absolutely lack of communication here. It's clear the OP has no clue what has transpired in regards to his health and she is not equipped to dealing with it anyway. There needs to be an understanding of his needs, his therapies (if any ), what the parents are doing and what the school is doing. Not an ounce of that is mentioned here... Hence my reply. Jumping the gun on DCF was over kill without any of these details

Angi

Anonymous said...

All speculation. None of those details have been provided and the OP has been left out of the loop.

Angi

OP said...

It isn't speculation. She isn't giving him the medication.
I could supply more specifics but I am intentionally not trying to give out specific information like dosages and times, etc. Neither of the child takes them on my watch at all. One bottle stays in the cupboard and dwindles down. The other is not kept in the cupboard. I see this as the on the go supply.

Anonymous said...

Its still speculation... You don't know what's going on, unless you've seen with your own eyes which is clear you haven't. There is no communication here and that needs to change

Angi

Some-Young Lady said...

I don't really trust Angi, since every time she comments she is a different professional doing a different job, and apparently she has just done EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN, when it comes to kids. Which I find hard to believe, really..

Anonymous said...

I have 30 years experience working with children and my core niche is special needs and special situations. I can't change what anyone thinks or feels but I can give opinions and share my experiences just like the rest of you. At least use my name and don't hide!

Angi

Anonymous said...

*At least *I* use
Angi

Rebeca Johnson said...

She obviously thinks he needs it in the morning if she's addressing the issue on here. So yes, the doctor is probably right

Rebeca Johnson said...

I'm so glad someone finally said something about Angi.
-someone else who uses their name because it's such a big deal

Anonymous said...

And what exactly does it say about you that you only say something because someone else does? 0.o

Angi

this_nick said...

She a'ight. She's just wrong sometimes like all of us, and a little aggressive in her arguments (like me lol.)

Anonymous said...

Lol. But, opinions on a situation can't be wrong. They re just different.

Angi