Readers, Mothers, where are you? I need a less direct audience to discuss this! We had an incident involving our nanny of five months in November. I don't want to get in to the details, but she created an alcoholic treat and left in a common place, my four year old sampled some. She came upon him, immediately induced vomiting, called poison control and called us. I was upset. My husband was furious. My husband fired her that evening and send her packing without a reference or severance. I feel I knew the nanny better and that she generally exercised great judgement but this was just an oversight. She left our home and went to stay with a nanny friend of hers where I learned, through a mutual friend that several items dear and expensive to her were stolen, including cash, ipad, iphone. Still feeling bad about the way she left our house, I reached out through the mutual friend, for sake of explanation, the mutual friend is her best friend's employer. I arranged for her to receive a new ipad and iphone delivered to her best friend. I sent a short letter saying in essence that I was sorry that things ended so terribly and I appreciated the way she treated for and cared for my son. I did not share any of this information with my husband. She responded to me by email yesterday and said, again, in essence that she was sorry for her carelessness, she missed DC and she really appreciated my gesture, but what she really needed was cash for living expenses until she found a new job. Here, I would like to say that I wasn't looking for an ongoing conversation. I wrote back what I thought would be the last time saying, "I wish you the best, I was hoping having access to an IPAD and phone would help you in your job search." She then followed up with an email asking for me to meet her at the Apple Store and return the stuff for cash and give her the cash. I was put off by this request. I mentioned this to her best friend's employer who said to me, "I really don't know how you kick a girl from Kansas out of your house without a dime to her name. I don't know how you let DH do that. If you would have handled your situation with the proper etiquette, this poor girl would not be in this awkward position.". I'm between livid and exhausted. Help me make sense of how this should have gone or how it needs to wrap up.
*edit* Nanny made sorbet with champagne and set it to chill in our kitchen freezer in a tupperware style container. While she packed up my son's playdate and got them on the elevator following a playdate, my son stayed in the kitchen, where he consumed about 1/2 cup of the sorbet and a handful of Cheez Puffs.