Thursday

Why I won't get involved again


This isn't me, but the same thing happened to me. I was at Sears and a mother was screaming and bitching at her child. The child was even younger. She pinched the child's thigh really hard and I saw her. The girl started screaming. I said, "why did you have to do that". Whoa. She got in my face and screamed at me louder than she had screamed at her child. The child started screaming worse and saying, "mommy, you're good, mommy, I'm sorry, mommy, I love you, please, please". She ended up yanking the daughter by her arm and dragging her out of the store. I was so scared for that child. The associates called the police at my request but did not get there in time.

So, what's the right way to get involved...without making things worse for the child?

17 comments:

RBTC said...

i am not sure what to think about this - the mom was extremely stupid to let the girl stand up in the cart and then fall - but i am not sure the bystander was right either to start screaming like that

but yes, Op it's a forgone conclusion that when you confront a stupid parent they will scream - but it was brave of you to try!

emily said...

Wow, this mom went batshit crazy!

Anonymous said...

She did. But she was surrounded by people yelling at her. What I think is awful is that NO ONE asked that little girl if she was OK. Not the mom, the lady intervening, the person taking the video, the store personnel, anybody.

BKmommy said...

I think you're dammed if you do say something and dammed if you don't.

I once sent a submission here about a really awful nanny. A week later I saw the nanny and her charge again, this time the child almost got hit by a van while crossing the street (the nanny was on the phone and crossed the street while leaving the child behind. The child darted across the avenue but the light had changed and a van screeched to a halt to avoid hitting her). At that point, I made it my business to find out who the mom once since I suspected they lived in or near my neighborhood. I managed to find the mom via our local online board. The mom e-mailed me not to ask me about her nanny and her child's safety, but to tell me to mind my own effing business, that her nanny was a good nanny and it was the best she could afford since she was a single mom. I informed the mom about the child almost getting hit by a van and the mom's response was "well shit happens sometimes".

Some parents are shitheads and the best thing someone can do is just call the police 'cause no talking is ever going to replenish the common sense they lost ages ago.

RBTC said...

BK - sometimes you have to do the right thing no matter what! keep it up!

Nay The Nanny said...

That video was so horrifying I can't even stand it. Stupid, stupid, stupid...accidents happen and I hate to make assumptions...but based on her reaction, and the fact that she didn't even get off the **** phone...plus, the poor kid's arm was already in a cast. HELLLLLOOOOO...I am glad those people yelled at her, I am sorry but maybe that was a wake up call for that woman.

HobokeNanny said...

Pure trash. Always is in these types of situations. They have kids from different baby daddies and just rely on the system to raise the kids.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

These days, you just never really know who you are dealing w/. Like "Road Rage", these situations must be approached in a cautious manner.

If I saw a child being yelled at, perhaps a little too harshly, I would just give the mother a dirty look and move on.
However, in the event that a child is being neglected or abused, I feel it is my obligation as a compassionate human being to step in and protect + defend the child. This can be done by me personally trying to talk to the child's parent and/or by notifying a security guard or the police.

I couldn't live w/myself if I knew I just turned a blind eye on a helpless and vulnerable child.

Kat said...

Makes me wonder if mom PUT her into that cast

soccermama129 said...

Does anyone know where this happened? Those kids were wearing soccer uniforms identical to the ones my kids wear for their travel club.

soccermama129 said...

oh, nevermind, I see now that it was in NJ. Poor child, what a tacky, classless woman. It's her fault that she allowed the girl to be standing in cart, then not pay attention when she moved it.

StaceyWhoStoppedBy said...

So as awful as this is I think that this is when you call the authorities yourself or you follow to the car at a discreet distance and get the license plate and submit the video and the tag to police, store management and CPS. Tell the manager that they have a liability issue on their hands if they fail to follow up because mom can claim injury in the form of accident on their property. Never confront directly because you can make it worse for the child. But you can use media, social media, police, community boards and the authorities to impact those who try to hurt kids. Also if you do confront do not address the abuser- call for medical aid, for management, for police, for security- whatever... but do not give attention to or address the abuser. Ignore, ignore, ignore... If the abuser removes the child then simply report as much as possible as quickly as possible and let the authorities take it from there. (Unless you are prepared to intervene at the risk of your life and health for the sake of saving a life in imminent danger.)

malocup said...

That's exactly what I thought !

Chatcat2000 said...

I think it is great those women spoke up that way! The mother can kick off all she likes but the fact is her bahaviour is documented. More importantly, the little girl knows there are others out there that will stick up for her and that is an important seed to plant especially since she wasn't blessed with a good mother. ALWAYS say something. Civil courage is important.

LaMar said...

Civil Courage is Important?
Bravo. I love this. We're gonna use it for a graphic!

hmmm said...

that the person recording had started way before the kid fell out of the cart means that the mom had already been making a scene that was of note.

poor kid.

I recently asked a man I dealt with in the past not to beat his dog with the leash after a small dog fight and he made that woman's reaction look like nothing. people get defensive when they know they are in the wrong.

And if these kids (and pets) are getting treated like that in public, it really is hard to think about what it looks like at home.

Anonymous said...

Sneaky Silent Abuse!
She will continue to get away with this as Child Social Services will see know problem as usual. I'm happy to see these women called this women out...good for them and gives that little girl some hope that someone is looking out for her. Because Mom could care less...neither did Walmart!