Wednesday

Slaps, punches, head butts, OH MY!

I've been with a wonderful family for over a year...since my charge was 2 months old.  Fast forward and we have a very vibrant 19 month old who is full of energy and spunk.  She also hits.  I have no idea where she gets it from.  She has three older brothers ranging from ages 6-14 who do NOT hit or fight.
She head butts, slaps, and punches then immediately thinks a kiss or hug will make it better (she will slap, then pucker up...).  She gets time out and if we are holding her when she hits, we calmly put her down and walk away (she then cries or sobs begging to be picked up...which we do not give into).
This is not a violent family and the parents do not yell. 
Its getting to the point where she does it in public...help!

11 comments:

Snow said...

She's not getting it from anywhere.

Hitting in the like is fairly typical toddler developmental behavior.

When she starts to hit, kick whatever, stop her in the action. change your voice( not yelling or anything scary) but it should be different from your play voice. Look her in the eye and Say something to her like " I know you are angry, but you cannot hit me. Hitting hurts." Then set her down and walk away.
However when she comes to you afterward and is behaving as she should show her affection. You don't want to ignore her appropriate behavior.

justaneastcoastnanny said...

I generally agree with, snow,but since she apologizes right after it seems to me this behavior is not being dealt with the same way all the time. Come up with a plan to teach her appropriate behaviors and all stick to it adjust as needed.

MissMannah said...

Agree with the 2 PPs. Violence is normal toddler behavior because they don't have language skills. I'm kind of worried about you as a nanny if you did not know this. Perhaps some reading and/or classes are in order?

RBTC said...

thank you for your post and caring about your charge so much - you are a great nanny to care - let us know what happens ;)

trapperkeeper said...

Mannah is quite possibly the most condescending poster on this site-so tune out her noise. I agree with the two posters,however I do believe in short time outs for repetitive hitting.

kendall said...

Mannah, do you have to be rude to every other nanny who posts on here? It's getting old. I'm kind of worried that your charges won't know what respect and kindness are because you sure don't.

Cookie said...

There you go again, Mannah with your know-it-all comments. Do you ever have anything nice to say or are you always looking to tear people down here? You are not America's Supernanny. I take nothing to say seriously so why do you think you can come on here and dictate nannies like you know best?

Nanny nyc said...

This behavior might be an expression of frustration of the lack of language. When child starts getting upset, say what she means to say but can't "I am upset because I want ..." And acknowledged her "I know you are upset because..." Some sign language might be very useful to express what she wants without violence. Patience, love and understanding. Good luck.

MissMannah said...

Do I have to be rude to everyone? No, and if you'll pay attention, I'm not. Do I think nannies should be constantly bettering themselves at their job and making themselves aware of normal toddler behavior if they choose to work with toddlers? Hell yeah I do!

Tiredofknowitallnanny said...

Miss Mannah, I am going to diagnose you as Aspbergers. No sense of what is appropriate.

MissMannah said...

Is Aspberger's the syndrome where snakes have problems in social settings?