Out of Breath Before the Interview



Sat, Sun, Tue, & Th night till 7am
Seeking long-term full-time and part-time nanny ages 30-45, twin experience required and or multiple toddlers experience. Must be born/raised in U.S.-English first language, and must be dog lover, Current DTAP vax/flu vax (proof required), current CPR, positive, energetic, team player, positive influence through teaching manners, following directions, sharing, learning tools, great safety instincts, and respect family privacy and confidentiality. Training rate of 15 per hour for a minimum two-four 40 hour weeks of training to begin with, then full rate based on ability/experience upon completing training successfully and able to carryout the program already in place. Must be a great team player and able to follow program. We won't leave you alone with 2 kids, 2 dogs until you are comfortable with running the program smoothly, and we are comfortable. Please do not apply for this job if you can not agree to everything listed or if you do not fit the age category we are looking for to meet our needs. We do not allow kissing our kids or for them to kiss anyone but mommy and daddy. Nannies play the role of a teacher that helps prepare them for preschool. So, no physical affection. Attire for job is scrub top, comfortable pants, eye make-up only if desired no big earrings and no necklace, tide allergy free detergent (sensisitve skin), very clean person with groomed short nails always. We require this be your only job and that you not have any children under 8 years old of your own. We have 2 lovable maltese-part of the pkg to care for when parents are not home... to feed, love, etc. Twins are very intelligent and need consistency with their already in place program. Need someone who is punctual. Must be willing to travel on our vacations (first one in June) though not much traveling. Need only those wanting long term stability, follows directions, team player, non-smoker, non-partier, "not needy", trustworthy, honest, reliable, does not require much time off, willing to go to M.D.'s when necessary if sick. Must take blood test for 2 bacteria and TB before starting to work to ensure safety of our children, which can be done through minute clinic and reimburse you if you work for us. We do have stairs and need to be able to carry 28 lb kids up and down the stairs. They are sweet girls going through potty training now. Our house is "very clean" with health and safety #1 priority. Thank you! Please email if interested and meet requirements. Must have DTAP and current flu vax and CPR cert. before training starts. This job does not require driving our kids anywhere at this time. We do not do "baby talk" and keep them happy playing and learning all day. A phone with text ability is required for this job and we will explain later, though we want someone who is responsible and not on their phone much at all so that they can focus on our kids. Mom needs to be able to text you while you are working though. We are big on cleaning hands, hand sanitizer, and protecting everyone on the team from getting sick. We need Sat night coverage 10:45pm-7am, Sun night coverage 7:30pm-7am, Tue night coverage 7:30pm-7am, Thursday night coverage 7:30pm-7am. They sleep through the night most nights. Training hours will be mostly during the evening M-W-F-S evenings. We only require clean up in baby rooms and play areas. No house cleaning outside of the baby areas or dog mess required. Resume, references, certifications, cpr, vaccinations-all proof required. if you live more than 25 miles from the Geddes Museum, please let me know in the email you send or let me know if you do not meet any of the requirements when emailing. I am very honest and plan to stick to "our needs" listed and do not wish to waste your time.
Please email directly at ********************
or an option. Thank you. I will start interviewing March 14th, but please feel free to email your resume. Thank you! I look forward to meeting you.
Los Angeles, California
$15 / Hour - $20 / Hour


Belle Vierge said...

I started reading this, thinking "This isn't so bad. A training rate makes sense. Vaccines seem a little overprotective, but maybe the kids have compromised immune systems."

Then I read the bit on no physical affection. And the uniform. And all the other requirements.

WTF is right!

justaneastcoastnanny said...

Wtf indeed!

snow said...

It does come across as wtf.
I'd wager these twins were nicu babies, and their parents may have come very close to losing them. It's also possible they have health issues. This coupled with what seems like first time parent wackiness for lack of a better term is cause for the extremeness of it all. Not the job for me, but I think the right person could do wonders with this family. Moving beyond the obvious wtf, I hope they are offering great hours, including overtime and benefits. The salary range being offered isn't that great for what they want and minimal hours if no other job is allowed.

MissMannah said...

I would apply for this one. I also agree with good hygiene and vaccinations. Like Snow said, these were probably very premature twins so the parents are going to be over-protective. However, I would ask for a clothing allowance if she's going to make me buy a whole new wardrobe for work!

MissMannah said...

The no-kissing policy was a little odd, I forgot to add that. But it is the parents' prerogative and I'd be ok with it.

oceanblue said...

I keep going back and forth with this one. The vaccines don't bother me much because as has been mention the twins could have immunity issues making them highly succeptable to illness and unable to be vaccinated. If that is the case I can understand being overprotective. Then I read again and things jump out at me like only being able to show affection to parents. What if the twins wanted to give nanny a kiss goodbye or a kiss to relatives or yo friends? And their choice of the word plan stick with the plan like their children are little robots. Like everyone in the world is there to go by their plan. I get the underlying feeling everything is about the parents all the time. I don't' know to make of this.

oceanblue said...

I didn't look at the schedule closely, but I hope they are offering seriously good money to have someone be available to them all the time and take no other job.

Kristen said...

I don't believe it is legal to disallow your employee from having another job/other work during the hours she is not working for you LOL. This ad started off reasonable, if not a wee bit overboard, but quickly entered wacko territory.

Also, the multiple incorrect usage of quotation marks, in my mind, speaks to the pretentiousness of these people.


Village said...

This position is for four overnights. This is a night nurse position, and they cost a fortune. $15/hr is cheap, and I bet the applicant will never see the $20/hr.

And cleaning up dog poop is not conducive to the care of twins in fragile health.

I would run from this.

NannyinLA said...

I was the OP...personally I also thought it wasn't so bad to start off. I understand the vaccinations, hygiene, etc. But the no physical affection really threw me for a loop. No kissing...ok. NO PHYSICAL AFFECTION because you want this person to be like a teacher??? Um...even preschool teachers give hugs last I checked. And the 2-4 40 hours weeks of training at 15 per hour before discussing actual pay rate? Seriously? Also, the way the employer kept referring to the "program" it totally reminded me of The Sound Of Music. Program? Not family routine, but program. The uniform thing was annoying too...just the tone of the ad. I personally found it very WTF appropriate. I read some of it to my MB and we laughed over it but some poor soul will take this job.

Siriusly_James said...

Um, excuse me, what???
I have worked as a professional nanny for more than six years, and given than some of these years were in a preschool, I have taken care of more than 50 children. I have NEVER met a child who never wanted to hug and kiss me. Never.
Saying that it is not okay for affection to be shown between child and nanny is just cruel.

If I should be blessed with children someday, I hope and pray that they will never meet a nanny who could refrain from hugging and kissing them.

I couldn't imagine spending time with my current charges every day without hugging and kissing and keeping them oh so close to me.

kimberstea said...

This is a whole boat load of strange.

I was ok at the start, thinking these are just super cautious parents of what are likely premature twins that are/were sickly.

Then I kept reading and it just went full throttle on the wtf scale.

These people should hire a night RN for their sick babies. She won't kiss them and enroll them.

Hire a pet trainer to teach their pets to poo on a pad and throw it out in the trash themselves

kimberstea said...

Wanted to add, sadly some preschools are now disallowing contact between teachers and students.

The preschool I worked at banned that my last year. We were told to give fist bumps.
This was to encourage personal safety in students, and protect ourselves from lawsuits.

Sounds good on paper, until one of the 4 year olds in your 3 year old room last year runs up to give you a hug and you great them with a fist bump. Or one of the kids falls at recess is in tears and you can only offer there there fist bump.

redridinghood said...

So according to this ad, the DOGS need love but the kids apparently don't? of course, it's the parents' absolute right to set whatever specifications they wish, but I have always been affectionate with my charges - for me, that's an essential part of the job, and I just couldn't be that cold and detached...especially if one of the children was distressed or in pain. And accompanying the family on vacation? I can imagine what sort of fun that would be.

xfileluv said...

Oh, come on all you. These parents only want what is best for the TEAM!

Anonymous said...

This can't possibly be real, can it? And at $15/hr for 2 kids? If it is real, this mother is more than over-protective. She is crazy and CHEAP. By posting such a ridiculous ad, she's limiting herself to nannies that are absolutely desperate for a job. A sought-after nanny would rather work at market rate for a nice family.

Nanny nyc said...

Run for the hills! If their requirements are this huge in writing imagine what they would do to you in person. i personally wont take a job that asks for an uniform, you are an equal and should be able to dress professionally but with your own clothes. No kisses or hugs? Ridiculous. Not have another job on the side? Stupid. 15, 20 per hr? Super cheap for twins, for the night. These parents are overprotective and controlling and they WILL drive you nuts over time. Pick a laid back, easygoing family that will not give you a headache.

AnotherLAnanny said...

I agree with everything previously said-the job is too extreme. If it's just overnights then why so strict about everything-you probably won't even see the kids for more than a few minutes!

Anyway I thought it was funny that they misspelled Getty museum at the end. If they live close to it then you would think they would know the correct spelling!

neva_eva_always said...

These parents are whacked lol. They're leaving them all night and no physical affection. So basically if they have a nightmare let them cry while you wash your hands, sanitize them and just tuck them back in bed so they can be traumatized. Let creepy mom and dad be the only ones to touch them (yes it's creepy because what family or friends don't hug?) and teachers? I don't remember pre school teachers coming to my house or my charges house to put the kids to sleep or watch the kids at night. Good luck with finding someone.

neva_eva_always said...

Oh and while it's at night and the mom HAS to text you you can't use your phone? Are the kids the ones who can't be exposed to daylight because the expectations are for kids who will be awake. I'd plan to be sleeping otherwise they just need a night nurse.