Fed up and slightly creeped out...Help?

What happened is the family I currently work for is over a half hour away from where I live. I don't get reimbursed for gas except when I have the child in the car, although hes not a child hes 14. He's starting drivers ed in June and I am basically superfluous as it is, just a chauffeur. I am supposed to work 4 days a week from 3-6 and they are very nice but very inconsistent. So I decided to look for another position. I had an interview with a mother of 3 children who was very nice, recently divorced. She hired me and gave me the specs of the 4 days a week I did before but with the hours of 4-10 pm since she co owns a restaurant. We agreed and I was ready to hand in my 2 weeks notice. I sent her a message saying I was going to turn it in assuming everything was still ok and she writes back saying she changed her schedule so that she would only need me on the weekends overnight and get the kids ready Monday mornings and asked if that was still ok. I would not have known about the changes had I not sent her a message so I said I am unable to do those hours and I am sorry and hope she found someone who fit the hours because her children were wonderful. And I went about my business. Then ever since (been 2-4 weeks now) she calls me or texts me or emails me, even when I'm in class to see if I can work for a couple hours. Despite my saying no, over and over and over again, she continues to call and text and email. She has my schedule written down and calls me when I'm in class or at my other job and unavailable. I have tried being nice, now I'm getting annoyed and slightly creeped out, and I can't explain why. I don't want to be rude and just ignore her because she found me on a website and through her friends, which can cut more potential jobs for me later and yes I realize how selfish that sounds. What the heck do I do?


MissMannah said...

If she calls when you're unavailable, just don't answer. That seems like a no-brainer to me. The beauty of voicemail means you can call her back when it is convenient for you. One thing I didn't understand from your post was whether or not you want to do any part time sitting for this woman. If you don't, tell her that you are unable to fit sitting jobs into your schedule right now.

As for your current job, you were the one who accepted a job 30 minutes away but you seem to be under the misconception that the parents should be paying you to drive to their house. That is nuts and you'll never find people to agree to those terms.

freespiritedm said...

After reading MissMannah's comment regarding the gas reimbursement, I actually had to go back and read that part of your original post again. You really expect your MB and DB to reimburse you in gas expenses driving to and from work each day? That IS nuts, and I have never in my life met someone, in any occupation, who was paid to drive to and from work. That's just part of having a job...

I regards to this woman who is calling you for occasional child care, I really don't understand what the fuss is about. I babysit for families on the side. Sometimes I can fit their time frames into my schedule, and sometimes I can't. If you don't have any interest in working with her, then just say so. "I appreciate you offering me the opportunity to occasional care for your children, but unfortunately, I'm not in a place where I can comfortably fit this into my schedule. If anything changes for me, I will surely let you know. In the mean time, I hope you are able to find someone wonderful to work with."

justaneastcoastnanny said...

I have actually had parents reimburse me for driving to their house. In that case it was because the job was outside of my specified work area, and that was their way of landing me as their nanny.

So it's uncommon but not impossible.

As for your question, Politely tell her you are not available. After that ignore the woman's phone calls. She already knows you are not available there is no point in continuing to speak with her.

Keep looking for a new job. I hope you land your dream job!

Kat said...

I'm with the others, politely refuse her, and if it continues you can have her number blocked.

As for being reimbursed for Gas, no, you accepted the job knowing how far the travel distance was.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

I do not think a family is obligated to reimburse you for gas to and from their house. I think it is fair that they pay you only when transporting their child, etc. However, I have heard of families paying for gas for their nanny to work for them if she lives quite far. Personally, if I found someone I really loved and my kids did too, and she couldn't afford to work for me due to the long commute, I would give her gas money to come to my home if it would make it possible for her to work for me. However, this is an option, not a given. In other types of work, it is practically unheard of to get your gas reimbursed even if you have an hours drive every day.

I think this woman is off her rocker. You basically told her clearly that you are not interested, but she seems like the type of woman who needs to be told in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.

Since your reputation is at stake, perhaps you can let her know as diplomatically as possible that you do not think you are a suitable match for each other, however you wish her luck in finding someone she can better connect with.

Best of luck to you OP.

nycmom said...

Generally, employees are not paid for their regular work commute, nor is it tax deductible or applicable for pre-tax transport accounts. Transport DURING the work day should be covered by the employer, assuming it was their request, or is eligible tax-wise as a deduction. So the old family seems to be doing the correct thing.

The only common area where this is handled differently, ime, is big cities such as NYC where a monthly metrocard of similar is included as part of the comp or a perk.

Regarding the ongoing texts, I agree with everyone above. You need to be direct. Send her an email or something in writing clearly outlining the ONLY times you are available for occasional babysitting. Stop answering during class or, even better, turn your phone off (barring the need to keep it on vibrate if you have kids or other emergency obligations). If she asks for you to work outside your listed available hours, simply text back, "as I have previously explained, I am not available to babysit outside the hours I described. Sorry! Jennifer."

Ann O'Neemus said...

1) Don't answer your phone in class

2) Don't pick up when you see this woman's number or name on your phone.

3) Don't get dragged in to explaining why you can't babysit. Just say 'sorry, I'm not available' a few times and she should get the message. If she continues, just stop responding.

OP said...

I was the one that wrote the post and I reread and it and realized I didnt explain well..I work for an agency with the family thats a half hour away, I was assigned and they wont let me find a different family. That was through an agency not my own choice, I dont really get one at the place I work now. Hence me trying to find something else. If I dont answer her phone call she texts me. If I ignore her long enough she blows up my phone.