1) FREE housing for the right person - (NC) Hi, we are a Military family searching for someone to help out in our home. We recently got custody of my grandchildren 7 and 4 yrs old. I need help around the house and with the children. You can still have a regular job as long as it doesn't interfere with the chores or the time I expect them to be completed. This is NOT a paying job, but a great way to save $$$. Must be able to relocate anywhere in the USA (Military), pass a drug test, criminal background, and an EXTENSIVE interview. In exchange: we will give you a very nice, furnished room for yourself, 1-2 meals a day, gas allowance for errands and the possibility for a cell phone. You must be VERY good with children, be well mannered and be respectful with good ethics. I require that you have some experience cleaning and cooking. Must have a valid drivers licence and reliable transportation. PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU MUST BE DRUG FREE!!! We are not comfortable with any drugs or addiction in our home, around the children or in our lives. We are willing to pay travel for the right person to come to Fayetteville. Must have references as well. Only serious need apply. NO emails, phone calls ONLY. If you cannot follow these simple directions no need to apply!
Submitted by N.C. Thank you!

2) Nanny needed ASAP - (NY) Looking for responsible non-smoking, non-drinking Christian nanny. No parties or late nights out. We don't want you showing up the next morning caring for our children hung over or tired. You must be neat and clean. Your job will consist of cooking, basic cleaning, guiding the children in picking up their rooms and making their beds. We need you to set a good example for them. Hours are Mon-Fri, 8am to 6pm. Bring your resume, drivers license, CPR and any other certifications with you to the interview. Serious inquiries only. Our kids aren't cash cows so if you're only doing this for the money we're not interested. Pay will be discussed at the interview. Position is available ASAP.
Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

3) FT nanny needed! - (NC) I'm looking for someone willing to watch my children 5 days a week for 9 hours a day. The hours would be from 5am-2pm. I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old so I want someone who would do different daily activities with them like going to the park or doing arts and crafts. I also need you to walk/drive my daughter to school in the mornings (the school is only a block from our house and her hours are 9-12). I will pay $20.00 a day. Please email your resume to me with references (required) and I will call you to set up a time to meet our family.
Submitted by CoolBeans. Thank you!

4) We are looking for a Live-in Nanny/Housekeeper - (Las Vegas) You must speak english. We are looking for a female between the ages of 19-35. I put the age range because we have 4 very sweet boys ages 8, 7, 6, and 5 and I have found that it can be difficult for older nannies to keep up. The boys like to play soccer, swim, and are very active. I take them to school every day from around 7:30-4:30 so you would be home alone most of the day to clean the house. Once I bring the boys home, I need you to play with a couple of the boys while I help with homework, or while I make dinner. The boys go to bed around 7:30. I am a very hands on mom and put in a lot of time in with the kids so I mainly just need someone to clean and be an extra set of hands to help out with the kids when I need it. We are looking for a very trustworthy, patient, and kind person. Must be organized and a very good cleaner. I love to cook and bake but I am not such a strong cleaner. Duties would include cleaning and organizing the entire house (floors, beds, kitchen, bathrooms, laundry, ironing, etc). You would have your own room with a bathroom right next to it. You have cable, phone, wifi and pretty much anything you need. We are a loving and flexible family and we would like someone who is the same. We like to think of our nanny as family so we want to make you as comfortable as possible. We are looking to fill the position immediately and want someone who is looking for a long term position. I don't want to get the kids used to someone who plans to move, or change jobs 6 months out. We occasionally travel so we would like someone who is able to travel with us. We also have very nice dogs so you need to be comfortable with animals and help care for them. I prefer someone without children or pets of their own. We pay $200 cash per week and we give raises with time. All room and board is of course included. If you have any questions, or are interested in having an interview, please email me through this ad with your name, phone number, and a little information about yourself (age, experience...etc) and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thank you and have a great day.
Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

5) Babysitter needed tonight - (VA) My regular babysitter bailed on me at the last minute. I have a date at 7pm and should be home by 1-2am. Pay is $5 an hour. All you need to do is put my daughter to bed. She will already have been bathed and fed. Just read a book to her and put her down. You can just sit and watch TV like you would at home only you'd be earning money for it at my house! If everything works out I'd love for you to be my back-up babysitter from now on!
Submitted by LaLa. Thank you!


SillyMissDee said...

A windy, cloudy, rainy fall day here in WI. Chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven, and CL WTF on my screen. Life couldn't get any better....

1. In order to save money, doesn't one have to make money? And they gave this person custody of small children? Uh. yeah. I can have a nanny job with a family that pays me, adores me, appreciates me AND have a furnished room, meals and a cell phone. It's called a paycheck and roof over my head, plus grocery shopping and my cell phone. Did I mention that I work to afford all this?

Dammit, I need a drink after reading this ad.

2. I was up until midnight doing homework and I went into work at 7a this morning. There are people that can survive on 5-7 hours of sleep, and make-up tricks that can cover up tired eyes. You want to set a good example? Try not sounding like such a bitch when writing an ad.

3. Yeah. I make $125 a day with my current family who I work with once a month. For what I make in a day she wants to pay per week, AND she expects someone to get up at 4a for that amount of pay, plus do activities? I can see the "activities" being lazy and the TV on all day, or passed out on the couch while the kids are doing whatever they want.

Bartender!! I need another drink. Make it a Cosmopolitan after this ad...

4. I am 40, and I can keep up with your boys. $200 per week? Ouch. I would rather get hit with a football in the boobs by a 10 year old. Oh wait that already happened. But seriously, $200 per week? I can make that babysitting for 24 hours.

Bartender! I need a shot. Nah, make it two.

5. Bartender, give me the entire bottle, better yet, give me two bottles. I am going to call her on her oh so important date to drive me home. Then she can go home to her kid instead of paying $5/hr.

I am not drunk...hahahahaha

Village said...

#1 You're in the Army now.
#2 You might as well be in the Army now.
#3 Now you've just been enslaved.
#4 Nanny needed to clean, a very good cleaner, for cleaning, to clean the house, and clean the dog. Oh, and we have four kids.
#5 'Put her down' YIKES. Oh, never mind, it's a child not a pet. Mom just looking for a stranger to put her child to bed.

Lyn said...

1) SEROUSLY?! There is so much wrong with this ad. People want and expect the world without expecting to pay for it. They feel like the universe owes them this luxury and it's disgusting. They want someone to clean, cook, be their Mary Poppins, and think that offering her the worst room in their home and 1 meal a day is enough to entice her?! I just don't understand people like this. It's disgusting.

2)"Our kids aren't cash cows so if you're doing this for the money we aren't interested" Oh! My goodness! I never before realized that a job is supposed to pay me! They're right! I should pay them for the privilege of being their Nanny! It's like the fog has lifted and I suddenly see everything clearly! I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for a non-drinking non-smoking Nanny to be your live in. That's fine. But what is a late night out? I have always been a "good girl" with very little in my life that would even appear as questionable to other people. Even when I went through my "crazy" stage off at college I was still better behaved than pretty much everyone I was friends with. But, I still stayed out until 2, sometimes later. And it really ticks me off that they are going to set a curfew for their Nanny (because we all know thats what is going to happen). If you trust her enough to let her into your home then you need to trust her judgement when she is not in your home.

3) This sounds a lot like my job, except I'm paid hourly the rate she expects to pay for an entire day. I would LOVE to know what kind of person applies for these jobs? Those poor kids. Having an ignorant mom and a terrifying Nanny.

4)Want a younger Nanny? I get that. My MB's neighbor has a 72 year old Nanny, I kid you not. And the neighbor is ALWAYS trying to "nanny nap" me. She is always commenting on all of the fun places I go with my charges, all the chasing them around in the yard I do, our crafts, our tye dying. It's sad. Whenever I see her Nanny (who really is a very sweet old woman) she is just sitting down while the kids boredly sit at her feet. It's sad.
Back to the ad, so she wants a maid? An extremely cheap maid?

5)It's almost better to go up to a random stranger on the street and ask them to babysit your child. At least then you have some idea what they look like and how clean they are before they are in your home ALONE with your child. So messed up.

RBTC said...

funny village !

being the devil's advocate - #5 is not completely bad for the right person. A young person, or someone who needs quick cash might be ok with making cash for doing nothing if that is the case,

but - yeah,asking for a last minute stranger to watch your kids is unbelievable

Zarine said...

Sometimes I want to smack these cheapos.

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