Saturday

TAKETHISJOB-1-1
Well, after about 7 years of nannying, it has all come to an end. There have been ups and downs, it has been quite a ride. After being used and abused, especially the last few years, I decided to get out, I am enrolled in college seeking a degree as a physician assistant, hoping to end up in pediatrics. As much as I have loved and adored and gushed over all my charges, the parents were not always as lovable, which is why I want out! My first position as a nanny was amazing, a dream job. In fact, the child was a little bundle of wonderfulness, and the parents didn't fall short of fantastic, if only I could have worked for them for the rest of my life, I would have been happy with that. But unfortunately I moved half way across the country, and nanny hell began.

The first family I worked for looked at me as their slave. I agreed to nanny their 2 children with typical nanny cleaning duties, and the pay was fair, so I thought, "great! I found another wonderful family, that was easy!" but it was not so. Typical nanny cleaning duties turned into deep cleaning, such as scrubbing the parents toilet (which children did not use) with a designated tooth brush. They were very demeaning, and treated me with no respect. I was walking past the living room to the kitchen to fetch my charge a juice box, when the mother surrounded by friends in the living room, snapped her fingers in the air to get my attention and asked me to fetch some iced tea and snack for her friends and grab a handful of movies from their collection for them to select from. Had she asked me in a respectful manner, I may not have taken issue, it was the sheer disrespect that led me to put in my two weeks notice the following day. The next family I worked for was very kind and respectful, and cared very much about how the children were doing in their educational and social development. I was heartbroken when they moved across the state 18 months later.

The following family I worked for was fairly similar to the first, I was their personal servant, and was treated as though I was a seething creature that should feel privileged that they were gracious enough to employ this poor soul. The next and final family drove me to be finished once and for all. I agreed on a certain salary based on a 45 hour week, after about a month, I was consistently working 60 hours a week. They would tell me in the am what time I would be leaving in the pm, and consistently 3 times a week at the least, they would call me a half hour after the said leaving time and tell me I would be there for an additional 2 to 4 hours. They never asked, they told me, with no offering of a sorry or a thank you. When I brought up grievances about being compensated, they would become defensive and say they would give me paid time off to make up the difference, this never happened. There were many occasions where I was there for 16 hours.

They recently moved, only telling me a month beforehand. I had been planning on quitting but since they were moving, I did not want to leave them stranded with no Childcare and forced to find a nanny for a month, so I worked until the end. Once it was over, I declared I would not be treated this way again and drove down to the college and applied and registered.

In conclusion, there are many wonderful things about being a nanny that other careers do not get to experience, all the special moments, watching a child's eyes light up when you've taught them something new. Our jobs are to educate, develop and most of all love the children we care for, what is more precious and noble than this? We nannys are truly blessed. But on the flip side, we are ridiculed, treated very poorly, and so underpaid. When did a nanny become a cheap alternative to Childcare centers? I realize that not all nannys feel taken advantage of, and for you lucky ones to be working with a family that you love, I am truly happy for you, cherish all those special moments. But parents need to realize that nannys deserve respect, we care for and educate their children, we don't turn on a tv and plop on the couch, we work very hard to make sure children are being challenged and guided. To all you nannys, do not let yourself be taken advantage of, your time and skills are valuable, be sure they are appreciated. Do not bend over backwards constantly if you don't receive respect from the people you are doing it for. Stand up for yourself, be true to yourself, and love yourself. If you do this, you will not end up in the situations I did. Good bye nanny life! - Anonymous

31 comments:

HungryAndNervousMissDee said...

Occasionally I will snap my fingers at one of my favorite servers at Applebee's in a joking manner. He has a great sense of humor and sweet personality, which is why I always sit in his section, leaving him a nice tip.

I would've snapped at her, ignoring her request. I can't help but wonder if she is truly a bitch with no people skills, or if she realized she was able to get away with that level of disrespect. Had it been me in that position, I would ignored her at first, going back into the room a few minutes later and responding with something like, "I am sorry I didn't come running to you before, as I was busy with the kids. Did you need something from me? I didn't drop what I was doing because you didn't say my name." This would've embarrassed her, at the same time letting her know she was being rude.

The last time someone snapped her fingers at me, I walked away. And it was my ex boss. She never did it again.



♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

How demeaning that someone snapped their fingers at you!! I think she was putting on airs around her company...you know..being all snooty. Screw her.

I feel like you on somedays OP. I feel like I am a great nanny, have a great work ethic and this is my niche. Then I come across families who treat me like the "hired help" and it makes me so discouraged.

I have had a few wonderful families who treat me well and pay me well, but they are far and few between. I don't want to lower the bar, but it is tough these days to find good families.

Congratulations on your new career path.

I wish you all the best as you enter this stage in your life.

LittleMiss said...

How rude for her to snap her fingers at you. I would have turned around and left since she was home. It's hard though when you truly care and love the child/children and if you need employment. The wise thing would be find another job before you quit. But, I would have done exaxtly what you did. And, since she has crappy manners, I can only imagine what she'll teach her children.

MissMannah said...

I have always believed that you allow people to treat you the way they do. By acting like the family's slave, you allowed them to treat you as such. Why the heck were you cleaning toilets to begin with? You are capable of the word NO. Though I was glad to see you put in your notice the day after that MB snapped her fingers at you.

Have you ever heard of the phrase "you have to earn respect to receive it?" Not everybody automatically respects everyone else, but by respecting yourself first, you are showing them that you deserve no less and (more importantly) you will expect no less.

Sickofher said...

Everyone is nice but MissMannah!! What a shock! Must be nannies fault right? She caused it! MissMannah you can be such a bitch.

MissMannah said...

Duly noted. You'll notice I did not say anything about OP's bad experiences being her own fault, but instead gave her a very valuable life lesson.

Melanie Raye Castor said...

I can't believe she snapped her fingers at you! How RUDE. Good on you for putting in your notice and getting out of there. All the best for college, OP.

Anonymous said...

Op here,
Oh miss mannah, how I hoped you wouldn't comment. I need no life lesson about earning respect, I am already quite aware thank you. Some people are just unkind, as was the case. Preamps you need a lesson in social competence, it is evident you have not made many friends on this site, I wonder why that is.
As for the rest of the commenters, thank you for the well wishes for my schooling, I am very much looking forward to my future!

ericsmom said...

I don't think Ms. M was being rude. She was asking a question on why the she was cleaning toilets. It is a question I am wondering myself.

You guys are not being too nice. Practice what you preach

Anonymous said...

Considering my original post was lengthy, I left out a few details, I scrubbed toilets because I was told the extra duty would be calculated into my salary, this did not happen. This was a factor in my decision to leave. Do not assume that I am meek, I do not allow my self to be taken advantage of.

Joan said...

I agree OP...that Miss Mannah has not made many friends on here.

It's because she likes to start drama.

She should have her own reality program.

Nashville Nanny said...

I agree with Mannah. You can't allow people to treat you poorly and then expect sympathy. You're an adult. Demand respect. Or find a new position.

Anonymous said...

Nashville,
I did not allow any employer to treat me poorly, I leave a position promptly after poor treatment occurs. I don't not expect nor want sympathy, I was simply sharing my story. Read a little more carefully.

MissMannah said...

I did read your post carefully. And you're right, you did not ask for any sympathy. However, you did stay in a bad situation when you didn't have to:

"They recently moved, only telling me a month beforehand. I had been planning on quitting but since they were moving, I did not want to leave them stranded with no Childcare and forced to find a nanny for a month, so I worked until the end. Once it was over, I declared I would not be treated this way again and drove down to the college and applied and registered."

I can see how you got burnt out and want to pursue something different, but you have to admit that the families were treating you exactly how you "trained" them to do so.

I do not go to websites hoping to "make friends." It is impossible to be friends with anonymous internet people anyway.

Anonymous said...

I chose to stay with that family, I was not guilted into it, I cared for the child, there was going to be enough change for him with the move, I didn't want to add having a person he didn't know to care for him for a month onto his plate. So in that instance, yes I did stay in a bad situation, for the good of the child, not because I was not able to stand up for myself. If you noticed right before that, since you were reading so carefully, I said I was planning on leaving that position, I wanted to secure another position before I did so. It is obvious that you are not trying to make friends, when I originally made that comment, I was not literally suggesting that you were seeking friends, silly me, I thought that was obvious. Allow me to rephrase. It is evident not many enjoy your presence on this site, I wonder why that is?

Let's take a moment said...

Again with the bullying...*sigh*

I could see how MissMannah's post could've seemed a bit brash, but there is some truth to it. Learn how to take the substance from out of the whole.


Anyway, OP, I'm glad you're now happy with where you are in life. I was encourage by the last few sentences in your post (which, oddly enough, are somewhat parallel to what Mannah was saying). Take care.

gypsy said...

Well congratulations on persuing your education. You won't ever regret it! Too bad about the families. I learned the hard way how to react to abuse of my time. The very first time someone is later than the allowed ten minute leeway, I immediately request extra cash to compensate me. I will say, "As per our agreement, you were to be here @ 6:00PM. You arrived @ 7:30. So you owe me $x, due tomorrow when I arrive. "But I called & said I would be late." "I know, if you hadn't as per our contract you would've owed me double." I wouldn't allow anyone to get away with not paying me for my time. Ever. And nannys don't clean toilets. It makes me sick what some lazy & cheap parents will expect out of the person they've hired for their childrens benefit!! Also, so glad you quit after the finger snapping. I am so crazy, no doubt, I would've spilled a drink on MB "accidently." I just don't tolerate being treated like garbage very well & I am big on turning the tables! What a b! I agree with MM that you treat people how to treat you. Its great that you were going to quit. But your post sure sounds like you tolerated A LOT of BS! I hope you enjoy your time @ school. Don't look back! :)

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

Kind Reader,

Thank you for re-posting OP's anonymous comments... however, there were so many of them it would have thrown the thread off track having all of them at the bottom so I had to delete them.

I appreciate your effort though!

ericsmom said...

If you post on this site your story you should realize everyone has their own opinion. If you are that sensitive why even bothering posting?

I don't see how Ms. M was rude. It seems OP is being a little abrasive to others that do not agree.

Okay now I will be the target. Go ahead....

Nashville Nanny said...

I enjoy Mannah's presence. Don't speak for anyone but yourself when you start bullying another member of the site. If you don't like what she has to say, move on to the next comment. She gave her opinion, which she, as well as you or anyone else, is entitled to.

Dr. Juris said...

Mannah and I don't always see eye to eye, but y'all can be some mean bitches on here. Seriously--she was offering her opinion, and you start attacking her personally. It's ridiculous, really.

gypsy said...

Miss Mannah gave great advice. I understand OP may have wanted to vent & wasn't seeking advice. But advice is expected here. Its impossible to gauge how often OP was abused based upon her post alone. But in fairness, it did sound like OP had been through quite a lot! After all, wasn't that the *point of her post?

nycmom said...

I do not think Miss Mannah's comment was rude or an attack. I think she presented a valid opinion and did so without insults or personal attacks.

The same cannot be said of OP's and others' replies .

Lyn said...

I don't understand when people say they never let themselves be taken advantage of, and then end up working 16 hour days and not demanding payment for that time. Or cleaning toilets (with a toothbrush?! People really do that?!) And not demanding payment for that.
I am a very patient person (most days, haha), but if one of my MB's EVER snapped their fingers at me, that would be my very last day. I view myself and conduct myself like the professional service I am. I highly value myself as a person because if I don't no one else will. You set your own self worth. If my boss decideds to treat me like I am less than worthy of being called by my name, that's fine. It's their issue. I'll serve the end of my day, correct them on their behavior as professionally as I possibly can before leaving, and then let them know I am terminating our arrangement effective immediately.
Then I would get on ISYN and bitchbitchbitchBITCH because people are crazy and this is the best place and way to vent. :)

I hope your next adventure is a better one OP! Good luck!

MissMannah said...

"I highly value myself as a person because if I don't no one else will."

Very well said Lyn! That is exactly what I was trying to say.

Misery loves Mannah and co. said...

You enjoy her presence because misery loves company. Haha. Now, go and dosado back to your charge, you Nashville hill billy. Lol. Ahahah

I concur said...

I concur. Mannah needs to stay where she was a few days ago- under a rock : D

Tell the truth said...

No it was not what you were trying to say you slithering snake!! You were really trying to start WW III as you seem to like to do in here frequently.

stop the name calling said...

You guys are being totally nasty for no reason. I hope Mary Poppins delete your comments.

Nashville Nanny said...

Hillbilly huh? Interesting choice of words, considering I moved here 9 months ago from NJ. So, I'm pretty sure I'm not a hillbilly by any stretch of the word. Thanks for taking the time out of your important life to attempt to insult me, sure do 'preciate it!

MissMannah said...

Whoever said that has obviously never been to Nashville. Sure, it isn't LA or NYC but it is a lot bigger than the rest of Tennessee. (except Memphis, but I hate that city...ok not too fond of Nashville either!)

Come out to Okie, then you can see some REAL hillbillies!