Sunday

Presenting Nanny with Appropriate Presents

OPINION
Hi everybody! I need some help with a question about a present for our nanny. We had the same nanny for 3 years. She started working about 30h/week and right now it's more like 20h/week. We are moving out of state and I am wondering what will be an appropriate "good bye present" for her? I ordered a photo booklet with family pictures and maybe she will get some of our stuff. I have a shelf and a tv table that we won't take with us because it's pretty old (not broken, just old). I am not sure if just the booklet will be enough? Or if she will feel that after 3 years just a photo booklet and some old furniture will be an insult? What do you guys think? We really love our nanny and I am so sad that we are moving so far away! We live in SF and are moving to NY next month. Thanks!

45 comments:

workingmom said...

She won't be insulted by these items if you also include CASH. (not a check)

I would give a $300 "going-away-gift" for three years. But my dollar amount might be on the low side. It will be interesting to see what dollar amount others suggest.

But you want to give cash. Nothing says appreciation and we are sad to be leaving you like cash does.

Ness said...

I think after 3 years you might want to get her something a little more substantial. I disagree that it has to be cash (although it always is appreciated!) but is there something you know she would really like but wouldn't treat herself to? We had heard our nanny pining for Ugg boots a few years back so got her a pair when she stopped working for us. She had also mentioned she always had wanted a gift from Tiffany so we considered that too. They have some really pretty silver jewlery that's in the $100-300 range and it's pretty timeless so she could wear it for a long time and think of your family.

If you can't think of something else, I would agree that at least 300 cash is appropriate!

princess said...

I agree with ness! Those sound like great, thoughtful gifts! I also don't see why cash vs check matters... I'd be happy with either!

Bethany said...

I would leave off the furniture unless you've already talked and she wants it.

The photos and a card are nice.

I'm someone that prefers cash to gifts even from family and friends. I tend to be picky. While I'd appreciate the thought I'd prefer to pick the UGGS out myself than to have someone but it. I"m also a fan of gift cards if you know the places she likes to go.

One of the best gifts you can give a great nanny is a great letter of reference to carry with her as she looks for a new job.

workingmom said...

Cash v.s. Check

Because cash is convenient and can be used anywhere, for anything. Cash can be a true bonus, and doesn't have to be claimed on income taxes.

Checks can be traced, misplaced, difficult to cash, and bounce.

When giving a gift, it's courteous to give a gift that doesn't require a lot of effort on the part of the recipient to actually enjoy the gift.

If you really want to show your appreciation, cash is king.

OceanBlue said...

Cash is great! If you can double her weekly check , but put it in as cash along with regular pay.

christine said...

Believe me, your nanny would be insulted that the old furniture is part of your going away present. Just mentioning that you don't plan on taking it and asking her if she'd like it is okay but presenting it as a "gift" doesn't signal, to me, how much you appreciated her for three years.

I agree that cash is king and you should give her a weeks pay, if possible.

Lyn said...

I think the photobook and some handmade cards by the little ones is a perfect gift! I would love that!
However if you are in doubt you could always add a bonus to one of the cards. It's a sweet gesture and I'm sure she would appreciate it. However, I think the cards and book would be enough.

Manhattan nanny said...

When you let a nanny go, some sort of severance is usual. Even though she is part time, she may have a hard time financially until she finds a new job.
The photo booklet is a nice personal gift, to go along with the cash, and a great letter of recommendation.
I second the advice re the furniture. Tell her what you aren't taking and let her decide if she can use it or not, but it is not a gift.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

I think the photo book is a lovely idea, but I wouldn't count the used furniture in the gift department. Saying it is a going away gift is just tacky in my book. However, you can offer it to her...just not as a present.

I think giving her cash along w/a very nice letter of recommendation would be awesome. It is tough out there in the job market and all and she will need the extra $$ to love off of until she finds a new position.

OR

a gift card to one of her favorite stores would be nice as well.


I find it very refreshing how considerate you are by getting her a farewell gift.
A good nanny is truly a gem and it sounds like your family truly appreciates all she has done for you guys over the years.

Kudos to you!

princess said...

A check that is a gift does NOT have anything to do with income taxes. Gifts up to a certain amount, I wanna say 10,000$ but don't quote me, do not have to be paid on. I want to stress that in no way do gifts qualify for income taxes and there is no reason to pay taxes on a gift check whatsoever.

Lyn said...

Princess is right about a check not counting towards income up to $10 grand. I had an old employer give me a large check as a parting gift once and when the end of the year came my accountant let me know I didn't have to pay any taxes on it as it was under the gift limit.

StrawberryShortKakes said...

I agree with the others that cash is always a safe bet. A few summers ago I worked for a family and they gave me a Vera Bradley backpack that the mom and I saw in a catalog once. She just happened to ask my opinion on one that she was considering buying herself and I innocently mentioned one that I liked. They surprised me with the gift and I was so appreciative. They actually have me a pattern that I wasn't particularly in love with but I didn't tell them that. They gave me the gift receipt so I exchanged it for a pattern that I liked better and now I think of them whenever I use the bag!

If you have any more personal ideas like that, those are always good but with cash you can't go wrong. Also as a PP said, homemade cards or crafts from the kids can be priceless.

Village said...

Money honey. I'd do AT LEAST three weeks pay when she was working the most hours.

The photo book is nice, but old furniture that you will give to a charity if she doesn't take it? That's not a gift. That's a favor to you if she hauls if off and you don't have to call Goodwill.

UmassSlytherin said...

this is a no-brainer. If she's that great, put your money where your mouth is, OP.

read my lips: GIVE HER CASH.

nycmom said...

I have parted with two long-term nannies. For the one when we moved out of state, I did one week/year of service = 4 weeks salary. She was extremely grateful and happy. She was definitely earned every penny!

I also helped her find a new job by posting on various boards, including paying to place ads, and provided numerous references.

lexeael13 said...

I think its great you want to give your nanny a present and the photo book sounds great I also agree that you can not go wrong with cash also or perhaps a gift card to a store you know she enjoys so she uses the money to get something for herself

Bethany said...

Also, don't give her a pet or your pets if you have them. I know you didn't mention this in your post, but this came up recently with a nanny friend of mine.

Susannah said...

The picture book is a lovely idea.

Your old furniture does not count as a gift.

I agree with the others that you can't go wrong with money.

I'd steer away from other gifts unless you are 100% certain it is something she wants.

NOgiftCARDS said...

The thought of even mentioning old furniture...no, just no!

Cash is king. A weeks pay IMO.

Ness said...

Ok...a GIFT...is a GIFT. Different from severance or bonus. So that's why I suggested something thoughtful you know she would like (with cash or gift card as last resort). As an employee, I would want some cash. As a person who had been part of your daily life for 3 years, I would want a gift that showed you knew me and valued me.

Truth Seeker said...

$$ Cash money Baby!! $$

Nannykins said...

Cash is King. One weeks pay, rounding up to the nearest hundred. A momento is nice, but trust me, your nanny needs cash.

Flip1 said...

I would treasure the photo boon more than anything as its personal and thoughtful, cash is too impersonal, a gift card for somewhere I like would be excellent

ericsmom said...

Flip

You must be out of your flipping mind. Or be pretty financially set.

You would rather have a photo book than money???

Umm, photos are great sure they will be thrown away after a couple of years

MissMannah said...

I'm in the minority here, but I agree with Flip. I've always said that money is a tacky gift. The nanny should be given a real gift and severance pay.

shake said...

Hmmmmm.....I love cash but I never throw away my photos. They are my most precious possesion & the thing Id rescuse in a fire first! Thing, not person...kids, hubby, photos..lol

moneybags said...

Really? I think cash & checks are so impersonal. My mom wrote my three year old a check for his fourth bday. It made me a little sad bc there is no thought behind it and of course nothing for him.

But as an adult, I love cash. Especially a weeks pay. It says, "I value you." Id be so happy with a photo album & a weeks pay. I think other stuff is just junk to me. I already have everything I need/want. JMHO

give her cash said...

When my family moved to Washington they gave me $500, and that was the best gift I ever could've gotten. CASH CASH CASH

Save a tree said...

Ok, second hand furniture is not a gift. It's an added bonus but not a gift. A target gift card or some cash in an envelope with a nice card is appropriate. I'd say $300 is ok. I wouldn't even waste money on a photo book. That's what we give parents who aren't home to see their kids as a surprise so they feel better about being working parents. But then again I don't keep stuff like that. I always recycle photo books (even family ones!). I think your thoughts are nice but no. Cash and card will do.

Tina Marie said...

Believe me, cash speaks for itself.

It says, "I just want you to have this as a token of appreciation for all the hard work,loyalty and love you have give our child."

This will help your nanny out with her bills and such until she finds a new nanny job.

MichiganMom said...

Actually, a "gift" you give to your nanny is absolutely taxable income, and you can't get around that (other than by cheating on your taxes). The IRS is VERY clear on this point. It doesn't matter if you call it a gift or if you really like the person. She is your employee and therefore it is considered compensation and it is taxable. This includes the value of non-cash/check gifts like gift cards, vacations, jewelry, or whatever. The only exception is what are called "de minimis" gifts with a value less than $25. It doesn't mean you shouldn't give these; I think they are great ideas. Just know that you need to report it as compensation and both you and the nanny will need to pay your share of taxes (payroll and income) on it.

Lyn said...

I have been a Nanny in 3 states now and have been to several reputable accountants and companies. I have always been honest about the amounts received from my employers as gifts or bonus money and have been told everytime that as long as it is under the $10 grand threshold I did not need to pay taxes on it. I doubt these people would be lying, haha.

princess said...

Yep, Lyn, exactly! But hey if people want to pay that's their problem! Lol

erica said...

Save a tree,
I believe you're in the minority here. Only one or two other posters poo-pooed the photo album idea. So you're not sentimental, that's cool, but most people would really appreciate a gift that thoughtful.


MichiganMom,
Excellent post. Unfortunately, some nannies are unaware that cash bonuses, given under ANY circumstance, are taxable.

erica said...

Lyn,
I found this on a site called "4nannytaxes.com":

http://www.4nannytaxes.com/faq/NannyWages.cfm

thatsnotgreenatall said...

How wasteful. I'm sure someone else in the family would love a photo album.

IRS said...

This is so false. Look it up. The minimum you have to report is soooooo much higher than $25.

urinsufferable said...

Ill take it!!! Money tacky?? The next time you get a tacky cash gift, just feel free to forward it to your favorite charity. Or, would that be tacky??

Lyn said...

Erica, unfortunately I cannot pull up the page you referenced. The websites server seems to be down at the moment. But I will try again tomorrow. If the person above is correct in saying that your source lists any gift over $25 MUST have taxes paid on it then I have some birthday cards from my 10th birthday I need to report, haha.
I always get my taxes professionally done just to be sure I am 100% covered if something goes wrong for whatever reason. If they tell me I don't have to pay taxes on my Christmas present then I assume they all know far more than you or I do. :)

OP said...

OP here:
Thanks everybody for your help.

I helped our Nanny find other job, however I think they are not a good match. We'll see how it goes.

I still have not decided on the cash gift. Her bday is coming and we'll send her a gift.

We did invite her to dinner like last year for her bday, so maybe that will be enough.

Thanks to all for your comments.

erica said...

Lyn,
I don't propose to know more about taxes than most here, only what I've read up on. However, I believe monetary gifts from someone other than an employer (up to $10,000 as another poster mentioned) are non-taxable.

For example: when a close family member passed away a year ago, they left me a large insurance policy. I have a sister and two brothers and felt it only fair to share some of it with them and gifted each $10,000. Before doing so, I made sure they wouldn't have to pay taxes on that amount.

no moniker said...

RE-posted for Anonymous...
I just finished my nanny job after 3 years and my family gave me a bean necklace from Tiffany's that I just love because I would frequently call them "little bean" when they were new borns. I felt like this was an amazing gift and I will always remember the children. They also gave me two weeks worth of pay in cash and an iPhone, something I desperately wanted. I felt appreciated and cared for when I realized how much they actually knew me.

workingmom said...

Erica (and other posters),

The $10,000 cap you are referring to is a "gift" in a different taxable category (luxury/inheritance)than a $300 "gift" would be (employment/bonuses). And if the giver gave the $300 in the form of a check, it is tracable, and an accountant or the IRS COULD make the receiver claim it as income or wages. Being that it would be so similar to previous wages, what proof would the receiver have that it wasn't?


That's why I suggested avoid a check and give cash; then it remains a true GIFT between the giver and the receiver, period. Forget the taxes; it's a large enough amount to matter to the ex-nanny, and a small enough amount that you don't have to feel guilty that the IRS doesn't get a cut.

MichiganMom said...

To clarify my earlier post and the questions/comments about it:

Gifts from your mom, aunt, friend, etc. are not taxable if they are under the $12,000/year limit.

Gifts from an employer to an employee ARE taxable above $25. They are considered income since they come from your employer.

Without this law, why wouldn't everyone ask for a $12,000/year pay cut from their employer, and then ask for a $12,000 gift that wasn't taxable?

This rule basically prevents employers from pretending the wages they pay employees are gifts and not reporting them as taxable income.

So, no, you don't have to report gifts from friends/family. You do have to report gifts from your employer (and, to be clear, so does your employer have to report those and pay his/her share of the taxes on them).