Monday

Sticky Situation Started with a PB Sandwich

rant 1
Hi all, I have an amazing story to share. I do not need advice as I told this Mother to take her 'job' and shove it!! Well maybe not in those words! Hehehe, which I know was the right thing to do. So the story goes - I started a new job for a family (who were friends with my much loved previous family) working 1.5 days per week. The other 3.5 I go to University.

When I had the interview they told me that I was to bring my own food and snacks as their previous Nanny "would eat all of their food". I said fine as I like to eat pretty healthy so I have packed my lunch in the past but also on the odd occasion I have eaten at previous houses for lunch. But I agreed because, whats the big deal?!? Anyway last week I was sitting in a lecture when my phone rang, it was MB. I let it ring out but it rang again 2 seconds later. I decided to excuse myself and take the call as I was worried something serious had happened. MB begged me to please please go and pick the little girl up from daycare as she was very sick and MB and DB could not possibly make it home that day. Stupid me I agreed and left Uni to rush and get the little girl.

I always buy lunch at Uni as I had no food with me but rushed to get their child and by the time we got back home (1.45pm) I was starving. I had second thoughts but decided that as I had not had lunch I would just make myself a PB sandwich... I also later had a bag of trail mix as MB was running late and arrived home at 7pm. The next morning was my work day for them and as I arrived home both MB and DB were there waiting! They put the TV on for the kids and told me we needed to chat... my mind raced and I thought of a million reasons why, but eating a sandwich and a bag of nuts did not cross my mind!!

The MB told me that they were very angry as they had a suspicion that I had been eating their food!!! I told them what I had eaten the day before and explained why. They told me that their "rules" were never to be broken and that I had pushed their trust, that I must remember that I am not a family member and that I cannot just help myself to whatever I felt like eating and that they would now consider a Nanny cam to ensure I did not "take" food again... I asked if there was anything that was actually the problem and they were using this to bring it up. They told me NO and that in their eyes a lie is a lie and being sneaky is being sneaky. It didn't matter how good I was with the kids, a liar is a liar. Well I stood up, told them that I would give them $3 to cover the cost of my food, calmly took the money out of my wallet, gave it to DB and left the house. They both tried to stop me and said I was over reacting. I told them that I would no longer be able to help them as it is clear to me that we have vastly different values.

Anyway I was asked by my ex boss what happened as she had found out via the daycare that I was no longer helping out so I told her the truth. She was shocked and said to me that I had most certainly done the right thing. Anyway, have any other nannies had such crazy things going on???

54 comments:

NannyPants said...

Holy crap! I don't even know what to say....that is complete bullshit and I am proud of you OP for standing up for yourself!! LOL at giving them 3 dollars...maybe that put it into perspective how fucking CRAZY they were being.

Sam said...

I'm glad you left! People are idiots!!!!!

OceanBlue said...

Bravo!

Do you have a new job.

AJ said...

I have had some strange families that I have worked for. I had one mom who had me doing nearly 60 hours a week, since they were both physicians. Sometimes wouldn't even see their children at all that day. The youngest was 5 and would tantrum when I would leave at the end of the day. I am going into my 4th year at University and I had a night class once a week that met for 3 hours. It was only offered once so I had to take it. It interfered with her schedule too much so she let me go with a gift card...in front of the kids. She then asked me a few weeks later to take one of them to soccer practice. I hung up on her. Some people never cease to amaze me. Good for you on telling them to shove it. You'll find a family who deserves your talents.

NC nanny said...

That is awful OP! Families are ridiculous though. I just finished with a family of over a year and a half that I legit bent over backwards for. I did anything they needed and they had no complaints. However when enough was enough and I decided to leave (for school!) they fired me a week into my notice. Told me on Friday that the new nanny started Monday and that was that. Obviously I was counting on that last pay check. Just like PP, my life interfered with theirs, as I had tried and tried to get them to work with me 2 nights a week in order to take this class. It's sad when things like these stories happens, but remember you will find a family who will love you and desire to see you happy, healthy, and successful.

nanny to three said...

Good for you OP! You did the right thing! The last family I worked for got divorced after I was with them for 3 years. I decided to stick it out with them and continued to work out of both the mom's and the dad's houses. I ended up doing everything for the dad, laundry, grocery shopping, babysitting his nephews, taking his dogs to the vet. He didn't appreciate anything I did and would often leave me rude notes telling me that I was using too many clorox wipes, or he found a white sock in with a dark load. None of his complaints were child related or even a requirement of the job, so I just did my best to brush them off. One day when I was working at MB's house, he texted me and asked me to stop by his house and let his dogs out. I went over and tried to get them outside, but the one dog just wouldn't budge from her spot under the bed. She's a big dog, and we were already late for a playdate. I texted him and told him I got the one dog out, but the other one wouldn't budge. I apologized for not being able to get her outside, but told him I had a busy day planned with his kids, so we had to leave. That night, I got a text from him that said "thanks a lot. Dog shit on the rug. You couldn't handle one simple thing." That was the last straw for me. I told MB that I could no longer work for her ex husband and she understood. I spent the next two years working out of her house!

The Noble Nanny said...

Yikes! This is a classic example of people who have control issues. You did the right thing by quitting.

Even if you had never taken their food, I guarantee that they would've accused you of it at some point.

When looking for a family try to determine whether or not they are the type of people who are always looking to shift blame on others. Key signs can often be seen in the interview. For instance, if they spend a large majority of the interview complaining about a former nanny, more than likely, they are controlling and have trust issues.
Why do I say that? Because parents who have had legitimate problems with their former nannies will spend more time trying to get to know you during the interview, (to establish whether or not you are a person of character) as opposed to complaining about others. Questions are good, complaining is not. People who complain a lot are usually classic blame shifters, not solution oriented.

The fact that they asked you about the food on the interview is a giant red flag. Instead of asking you how you felt about bringing your own food, they threw their former nanny under the bus (complained and casted blame) then proceeded with control (You MUST bring your own food) Other warning signs to look for are;
-They lose their temper easily
-Try to control your every move on the job
-Abuse their "nanny cam" by questioning every move you make
-Do not follow through on your correction of the children or cast the blame to you

I hope this helps and that you find a deserving family to work for! Best of luck!

MissMannah said...

No, I have never seen anything so crazy! But I am incredibly proud of you for quitting on the spot like you did. You obviously have self-respect and know better than to let people push you around for no good reason. Good for you!

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

Wow...I have read a lot of crazy stories on this blog, but this one takes the cake.

WTF??!

This family is so damn petty...the fact that they got so angry over some PJ sandwich + nuts...I am truly speechless.

Then threatening you w/a nanny cam!!

I feel sorry for the next Nanny. Hopefully she will have the balls you did and kick this family to the curb.

Good riddance.

Seattle Nanny said...

WHAT?! A peanut butter sandwich? Who are these people??? They sound incredibly cheap so I am sure that their penny pinching probably would spill over into other areas of your pay.

I think you are awesome for walking out like that. It would have been very hard to come back to work and look those people in the face after the way that they talked to you. And the fact that you gave them the $3 is great too. I can't believe they would even think to complain when you left class to help them out on a day that was not your scheduled work day.

Anyway, you did the right thing (and I think you know this!)

Good luck with your future jobs- I am sure you will take this as a learning experience and you will have no problem finding a good job because you know your worth and the standards you have for your work environment.

SarahNY said...

This is me standing up and clapping. So happy to see a Nanny standing up for herself :)

The Mouse said...

Well,

#1: Glad your happy and hope you find a better situation. It probably would've only gotten worse.

#2: In the future, you may want to let the bosses know about something as simple as this (a sandwich) if they seem particularly anal about it (be it food, television use, cleaning, what have you). This whole showdown could've possibly been avoided had you mentioned it when they came home that day. They might've still been annoyed, but it's better you bring it up than them "discover" it because then it doesn't seem like you were trying to hide anything. I think that's what they meant by "sneaky". The whole "liar" thing (and nanny cam) was over the top, though.

P.S. No, I'm not blaming you nor do I think you were trying to be sneaky or hide anything. Yes, they were being ridiculous.
P.S.S. How the heck did they find out anyway? Probably already have a nanny cam...

*Squeaks off somewhere*

OP said...

Thanks everyone! I too have read so many crappy stories on here when young nannies feel as though they are powerless and never speak up. I just had a moment there where I thought to myself "nope, don't need this in my life" so I left.

Just a side note - both MB and DB tried to contact me all that day and for a few days after. I took a few phone calls but I could tell that the apology was forced as they didn't want to be left without help.

I would also like to mention that these two are both executives who have in the past taken $50 000 holidays and both drive big fancy 4WD and dress in anything designer. Not that it matters what their finances are like but it is worth noting.

To answer one of the posters comments about why I didn't tell her about the sandwich - I forgot! My mind was on her sick child and telling MB about her high tempreture throughout the day and which medicines she had had (which I had written down).

They found out because there was an extra plate 'grown up' plate in the dishwasher! They didn't know exactly what I had eaten.

There were def red flags looking back now from the interview. They spoke of their ex nanny very badly and really just spoke at me about the job. I had very little input.

Anyway I am on the look out for a new job and until then I am doing some casual work for a friend who runs a small business.

Thanks again!!!

Jessica said...

OP: I do not think you had any obligation to inform them that you ate their food. I mean, back in the old days when people used to watch kids, it was just a given that they could eat whatever they wanted.

Anyway, I can understand why it slipped your mind, you had so much going on that day. You were by no means being sneaky.

Good for you for not accepting their apologies. Hopefully, they learned a valuable lesson here. To not be so petty and to treat their Nannies with more respect!

Good luck to you.
I hope you find a new job soon.

Hopefully with a family who won't mind if you eat a sandwich or two.

ericsmom said...

Glad you left OP. Wow, I can't believe they had the nerve to question you over a sandwich.
I mean you went out of your way to pick up their child. You took extra time out of your schedule, you had to leave class to pick her up. You should have charged them an "emergency fee".

Really and whoever told OP she should have told the boss what she ate get real. Most normal people don't think twice about grabbing a snack out of the fridge. Just shows these people just want to abuse their power over you.

They told you OP! said...

They did tell you never to eat, did they not? It's not as though you didn't know? Maybe money is tighter than you think. You wouldn't have died if you went without lunch for one day. Are you overweight? Perhaps they are trying to help you?

OP said...

I am just going to assume that the above post is just a joke!

Jennifer said...

To the rude poster two up from me:

1) If money is tighter than OP thinks, to the point that a peanut butter sandwich and a bag of nuts is a big deal, the family wouldn't be taking 50K vacations.

2)The over weight question was out of line. First of all, skipping a meal harms, not helps those trying to lose weight, so it's not a valid argument.

Secondly, some people have health concerns where skipping a meal can be very serious. Diabetes, for example, or simply low blood sugar. I have days at work where I have been shaky, and the nurse (I work at a nursing home) tells me to have a snack high in sugar. Then she checks my blood sugar, which in that situation is always low. The nurses also want us to do everything in our power to convince diabetic residents to eat at mealtimes, because not doing so can be a very serious health risk. Telling someone "you would not have died" is very rude. What if they would have been hospitalized? Is it okay because they were not dead?

Why do all food related posts on the internet cause some very rude anonymous person to basically declare that the person in question is overweight or anorexic (depending on which way the post went)?

Rudeness is not okay just because you can hide behind an anonymous moniker.

anon nanny said...

OP,
Pay no attention to the asswipe above that made the snide comment. You did NOTHING wrong! You now see there were red flags, so next time, just use that to your advantage when looking for another job. Everyone learns something new along the way.

In closing, may I say, you effing ROCK girl!

no moniker said...

repost for anonymous:
OP..that was the best
"Bitchslap" I have seen in years.
3 bucks and an "up yours" I quit LOL They really thought they were going to give you a lashing for eating a sandwhich when you took off from a class, used your car and gas to pick up their sick child because they were too busy? YOu are a grown woman not a 14 year old baby sitter who was playing the music too loud.
No nanny should have to bring their own food, that it stupid to say the least and to expect someone to report to them that they ate a sandwhich and a bag of nuts?? I hope you find another job soon and that you pick better people to work for. Never let anyone down talk to you, EVER.

*Melanie Raye* said...

good on you, OP! I applaud you, and wish you all the best for finding a new job with a family that values and respects you.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

OP: Just overlook the idiot who posted that lame post.

It's probably someone who has nothing better to do than troll internet blogs and try to make people feel bad.

Perhaps they should find a hobby or better yet...get a JOB!!

Phoenix said...

ok so this bitch called you while you were in class and asked you to leave YOUR class to pick up their child. Then you eat a sandwich and think you are a liar because you ate a sandwich. Ok lady if you werent apart of the family then why the hell did they call you out of class like you had an obligation to fullfill.

I am so happy you did that. Kudos to you. Please give other nannies your confidence to stand up and do the right thing! Stealing food. what bs

AG21 said...

Thank god you left!! If you stayed imagine what else could have happened?!

Penny said...

Well OP good for you! I bet it felt good to walk out, you shouldn't put up with that BS. I cannot believe they would scold you like that over food! It is shocking to me how cruel and disgusting people can be especially to a person who cares for their child! But sadly it doesn't surprise me, I personally have had as well as some of my fellow nanny friends experiences with families who are some real pieces of work who got in a tizzy over petty things all the time! So frustrating!

Oh and that comment from that rude poster was irritating and just nasty! Perhaps the rude comment is from the actual mom or (sigh) someone who treats their nanny the same way.

ericsmom said...

Penny that is what I was thinking. I bet the rude person was either the mom that got wind of this site. Or it could be a employer that is the same as her nasty boss.

Phoenix said...

I thought the same thing. Only THE employer in question would act like that.

oh well said...

I think you did the right thing on so many levels.
You totally went out of your way for this family - even putting them before your education.
You ate a PB sandwich because this was the only sensible thing to do. Of course you forgot to tell the parents. You had a sick kid on your hands.
You put an end to the verbal abuse by paying them for the food - I agree with those who say that these people definitely have control issues. They said you were overreacting when they are the ones who totally lost it. This is very typical of manipulative behavior.
Leaving was the smart thing to do.

ericsmom said...

Duhhh, I just realized what I wrote. My brain isn't working today

Abby said...

Amazing! You should be proud of yourself. if only all nannies would do the same, perhaps our profession would move up in respect.

OP said...

I really don't think it is the Mom! Just for the record and I didn't even want to respond to that stupid post but I am not overweight. So really she would have no reason to ask that.

She actually told the director of the daycare centre that I left as they had been nasty to me and they really felt ashamed about it, one of the Moms heard.

Now I feel a bit sad for them as this has spread around the daycare like wildfire and I have been contacted many times by Mums giving me their support. It's become a bit of a saga!

Thanks so much for all the nice posts it was actually really funny as after I was driving home I was thinking that I have got to put this on ISYN!!

nycmom said...

I was going to abstain as this seems so clear-cut, but as an employer I also want to add my accolades. You did a great job! I can't imagine having the ability to think and act so quickly like that, and to do so in such an appropriate way.

You should be proud of yourself as a Nanny and a person dealing with bullies!

They told you OP said...

I have a job, as a full time nanny!!! I was simply pointing out to the OP that this shouldn't be a big surprise to her as she was told not to. I have been told not to do things that I wouldn't have thought mattered but I don't do them because my boss has asked me not to.

You are all so dramatic!! She would have been just fine to skip lunch!!!!

SLNanny said...

Thank you for all the superfluous exclamation points!!!!! They really make you seem like less of a self righteous douche bag PP!!!!!

OP - Bravo. I'm so proud of you for calling them on their ridiculous behavior. You were good enough to care for their precious children but not worthy of a peanut butter sandwich? Those people suck. Hooray that you don't have to work for them.

They told you OP said...

I would bet my life savings that OP is obese and they were scared she would eat all the food in the house!!!!!

SLNanny said...

Again with the inappropriate and excessive punctuation. Reading comprehension isn't a skill you possess is it PP?
OP said she is not obese. Either way I would much rather have an obese nanny than one with such a poor grasp of grammer and basic writing skills. I shudder to think of the inaccuracies you are teaching the kids that you care for.

They told you OP said...

I bet she is

SLNanny said...

@Told you - I am feeling sad for you. You are just not able to receive information and then turn around and correctly use that info as a tool for learning and self improvement. Google School House Rock. It make help clear up your pesky issues with punction.

OP said...

I just feel sorry for her becauae she does not seem to be a very nice person

nynanny said...

First off, hooray for you, OP! $3.00? Man, I would have given anything to be a fly on the wall at that moment, that was PRICELESS, lol!

And to the asswipe that keeps trolling OP, not much needs to be said as SLNanny has certainly put her in her place, lmfao!

Hey, "They told you" - are you sufficiently embarrassed enough yet? hahaha!

I'd hate to go toe-to-toe with you, SLNanny - you are hilarious!

Phoenix said...

OP don't feel sad for these stupid people. They are the ones that did it and hopefully they learned their lesson so they won't treat their next nanny like that. A little embarrassment is good for the character.

You Can't Afford Me said...

I've never been asked to bring my own food. In my eyes...if you can't afford for me to eat a PB&J every once in awhile YOU CAN'T AFFORD ME!

Nashville Nanny said...

I worked for a family that told me to help myself to anything in the fridge, and the ONE TIME I did, the MB almost had a coronary over it. Apparently I had eaten something "littlebabysonofabitch" couldn't function without (it was a Polly O String Cheese, btw). I learned to never, ever even help myself to a glass of water from that point on. Seriously. It wasn't like I ate the last one. Did she count them?? Did she see the wrapper in the trash?? It was absurd.

Pamela said...

I guess it's kinda like when someone says, "Oh..make yourself at home," then would get offended if you took off your socks, put your feet up on the coffee table and burped.

LOL.

Nothing really is meant to be taken literally.

Karli said...

What a weird family! I've done so many permanent and temp jobs over the last 9 years and never ONCE have I not had a family tell me "Help yourself to anything in our fridge or pantry." I'm pretty sure every person I've ever worked for has told me that. What I HAVE had happen though is when the previous nanny did something the family didn't like, so they automatically think i'll do the same thing and are always watching for it. I finally had to tell my last boss "I'M NOT HER! I do things different."

Anyway, glad you quit!

Karli said...

Whatever, Anonymous, that was an ignorant response. These parents need to have probably a few more nannies quit on them so they'll see they're being ridiculous and hopefully un-clench a little. *eye roll*

UmassSlytherin said...

OP, you did the right thing.

These people are cray-cray.

Bethany said...

Glad you left.

I can't believe they flipped out so much.

I can only imagine how things would have been for you had you stayed on.


It amazes me how quick parents are to bend the rules when it suits them ,but can't show the smae flexibility with their nanny.

You sound like you have a good head on you shoulders and I wish you luck finding a new job and with school.

CityNanny said...

Epic! Good for you for not putting up with their shit!

Kat said...

ROFLMAO, good for you OP!

SLNanny said...

@nynanny - Aw shucks. Thanks :) I normally only use my powers for good but that jackass was on my last nerve. OP is clearly awesome, she didn't need that noise.

OP said...

Thanks so much everyone!!

erica said...

OP, this post was definitely in the top 10 for best of ISYN. You said you couldn't wait to send it in? I don't blame you! Awesome job! LOL

Aries said...

Wow good for you OP. I would have walked out too. What a pair of selfish, petty, cheap indiviguals. I sometimes wish i could jump into the minds of these type of people just to see how there wired up there and why they think an do some of the things they do.

Honestly though, i think these people think ''Well we have to pay her so much every week, such a waste, so she isn't going to cost us even more money by eating our food. Heck let's switch to dollar brand soaps/toilet paper and then switch back to the good stuff when she leaves.''


Pathetic people.. Kudos OP!