MB Annoyed Nanny has More than One Family

opinion 1
I'm a live in nanny and my contract states I have the weekends off UNLESS they ask me to babysit for an occasional date night. Besides that, I am free to do as I please all weekend long. I recently babysat for another family in the neighborhood... I met the mom through a playgroup and she asked if I would ever consider helping out by babysitting once in a while on the weekend. I said sure because a.) it's extra money and b.) I wouldn't be doing anything anyway.

My MB at my live-in job gets really annoyed and kind of mad when I tell her I am babysitting for the other family. I never have let the extra babysitting interfere with my current nanny job... and my MB knows that her family is my first priority. I don't know why she gets so mad that I ocasionally watch other peoples' kids. Is she right to be angry at me? I didn't think it was a big deal but maybe I am wrong? Nannies...mamas...what are your thoughts? Should I just be a one family nanny?


Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

I think it is stupid that your MomBoss is annoyed that you babysit for another family on weekends. Since your weekends are free, you are free to do whatever the heck you want to. Period.

Sounds like she either is jealous that you are caring for another child instead of hers or is concerned you may get burned out. I personally think she is just jealous.

Continue doing what you're doing. If she gets annoyed, tough luck. Just because you live in her home, does not mean she can act like your Mother.

leftcoastmama said...

I think she would have a right to be upset if this new job was causing a problem for your work with her.

You have said it doesn't, and if that is truly the case she needs to get over it.

If not maybe she should pay you more so you don't need to take another job.

I don't know why some employers believe they own their nanny.

Village said...

You have the right to sit for other children. MB is mad/scared you will find out there are better jobs out there, at better rates.

When she gets angry again, just tell her you don't make enough money, and you have to babysit to make ends meet. Then the ball in is her court.

I'm curious, you are paid for weekend sits for your current family, right?

nycmom said...

Unless she wants to pay you to be on call 24/7, she has no right to dictate how you spend time off work.

The only exception would be if it affected your job performance, but it does not sound like it does.

Talk to her. Communicate. Tell her you get this vibe and ask if it's true and why. If you call her out, she'll have a hard time defending this kind of attitude.

However, I will say I've seen this topic discussed a lot on mommy boards. Most moms are normal and understand they do not own their nanny. But some feel the other family should ask family #1's "permission" to hire their nanny and that the nanny should clear it with them. I can't understand that viewpoint, but it is more common than I would have imagined.

Maybe MB worries the other family will pay you better and treat you better. Or that you will gossip to the other family about her family. Most families are less than perfect, but like to present the perfect front. Reassure her you wouldn't do that if she raises the issue.

utnanny said...

A few years ago I was a full time live out nanny for a family and the MB tried to tell me that I couldn't work for any other families while employed by her. I kindly but firmly told her that what I did on my own time was none of her business. I currently work full time for one family and part time for two others. But they all know that my full time family has priority.

I know it is differently with a live in situation but if it was me I would get a schedule a couple months in advance and have your MB pick the days she wants you and then make other days available to your other family.

Your MB does not have the right to micromanage your life!!! Allowing her to do so will only create more problems down the road. Stand up for yourself!!

OP said...

@Village-no, my current nanny family does not pay me extra if I work during the weekend. They claim that since my contract state I work X amount of hours during the week and the OCCASIONAL weekend night, my salary should cover that. I've fought with myself about whether or not that is me.

@leftcoastmama- It definitely never has or would interfere with my current job...I always double, triple, quadruple check if I am needed AT ALL with my current family on the weekend before I accept any other babysitting offer.

UmassSlytherin said...

"Unless she wants to pay you to be on call 24/7, she has no right to dictate how you spend time off work." <<<<<<<----------THIS!!

This says it all, OP.

The Devil said...

Some people are assholes.
Your MB is an asshole, and a cheap one at that.

Tell her to go screw unless she wants to pay you for that time.

I also think you should start seeking other employment. She is no doubt taking advantage of you in other ways.

Princessbluekies said...

Awww she is jealous that is so cute.

Shutterbug said...

it sounds like just some jealousy , have an open honest convo about everything if she truly care about you she will understand and hopefully back off a little

*Melanie Raye* said...

She is jealous, plain and simple. Have a talk with her about it, and if the situation does not improve, find a new job, or this woman will start finding other ways to control you. Your time is your time.

Amy said...

OMG OP, do you nanny my past family? lol

The MB straight out told me she wouldn't be a reference for a family that wanted me to work weekends for them. She said she wouldn't give a reference PERIOD. I was shocked because I had been with them over a year at this point and asked what I would do once I left their family and needed a new job, and she said "Well, I don't give professional references, so you'll have to figure that out yourself" WOW. They also worked into the contract that I would babysit 1 to 2 nights a week (never a Friday or weekend night) if I didn't have plans and the baby was already in bed without compensation. Because I had been promised half-days on Fridays (which never happened) I agreed to it. It was all in the contract, but they never followed through with the early Friday's for me.

Honestly, just don't tell MB and DB where you're going. I know as a live-in, when they ask, that's hard. But just leave without first talking to them, or if they ask just say that you're going for a while and you'll see them later. It's NONE of their business what you do when you're not on the clock.

Karli said...

I haven't read all the other comments here so maybe this was already said, but it's none of her business, and I wouldn't tell her from now on. You can do what you want off-hours, especially if you need the money. She might just be worried that they'll "Steal" you away. I've had past bosses tell me they worried about that, so assure her that isn't the case if you want, but you really don't owe her any explanation and if they DID want to hire you and you DID want to accept, that would be your choice too. This IS a job at the end of the day. You have to look out for yourself, they won't do it for you as much as they like to make you believe the would.

Fiona said...

Once you've confirmed that you're not needed that weekend by your first family don't tell her anything else. Just go on about your business.

She cannot tell you you cannot work for others. If she wants you all to herself she can pay you to be on call 24/7.

Phoenix said...

in my opinion you working on your time off from your live in position is your business. if she has a problem with it stop telling her that you are babysitting. just say you are going to with friends. it seems that your MB doesn't want to share you and that is not fair nor is it her call.

Nanny S said...

Wow. You're an employee, not an indentured servant. She has no right. If it were me, I would leave it at "I am available" or "I am not available" and that is all. I hate when employers act as if they own their nanny's lives.

Tamm said...

Some people have said not to tell her where you are going when you babysit but I think you should tell her. If she is worried that you will like another family better, this may be the incentive she needs to treat you better. Perhaps try and casually mention that the other family pays more, or mention a gift they gave you(Make something up!). A little healthy competition for your services could benefit you greatly.

I always let my bosses know I am watching other families too, I care about other kids too. This helps make them realize that they do not own me, I could quit at any time, and they better treat me well if they want to keep me.