05 February, 2012
Nanny Bothered by Brothers' Inappropriate Behavior
Hi there, I really need some advice. I recently started working with a family of two boys. At first, I really enjoyed my job, and the money is decent, but lately things have been getting not only hard, but very weird as well. I am chronically ill and my health is deteriorating. My employers know of this, and although they seem to care, they don't seem to understand the seriousness. I'll be having surgery to repair some back problems and also a knee surgery in the next 5 months. I have been trying to imply that I am too sick to work any longer, but my comments fall on deaf ears. MB is one of those "fake nice" people who will say something that seems harmless but definitely has some rudeness behind it. She has judged my parents (having never met them) and my upbringing, questioned my diagnosis's, and practically ignored my concerns about the children.
Since I started working there, I've noticed that the boys (4 and 9) are extremely close. No arguing, fighting or rough housing. Instead they cuddle, sit on each others laps, dance together, and kiss. I was a little suspicious at first, but the parents assured me "that's just how brothers are." I have nannied for several families before this, and have several cousins and a brother, and I have never seen kids act like this. Yesterday, I was talking to the 4 year old, and he told me some very disturbing things that his brother makes him do, if you know what I mean. I got physically ill and could not look the older child in the eyes. I have never had to deal with anything like this before. I was absolutely shocked. I struggled for hours about what to do next. I decided to tell DB about what the child told me. He didn't seem concerned whatsoever, and he made it seem like he didn't believe me. I was very upset.
Today I found myself watching them very closely and keeping the young one around me at all times. I just feel horrible. The older one told him it was "exercise" and that it was a secret. I asked my mom for advice, as she has been around children her whole life. She told me to get the money they owe me and quit immediately. I do want to quit for a few different reasons, but I can't seem to find the words (or guts) to do it. I'm so conflicted because it's not necessarily the parent's fault, and I know that younger kids do experiment as they don't really know what they're doing. But the oldest is 9. He should know better. DB made alot of excuses for what might be going on... "boys will be boys" "it's probably a silly game they made up" "completely harmless." I honestly don't feel that way, and I know in my gut what's been going on. It's very obvious and like I said, I had some initial concern.
What would you do in this situation? It's a very strange environment, and I'm extremely uncomfortable working there now. I am in my 20's so I don't have too much insight on this situation. Any help would be appreciated.
at 9:56 AM