Job Creep and Being Cheap
I have been a nanny for 15 months and I have two lovely charges, 19 month girl (S) and 5 year old boy (R). I'm a young nanny, yes. But I have a surprising amount of prior children experience. The MB and I get along for the most part, but sometimes she does things that really irk me. For example, when I started, I was told I could sit and relax during baby nap times. (R was in preschool.) A few months into work, MB would bring a bit of laundry and ask me if I could “Please, please fold it.” I always said yes, because 1) What else am I supposed to say? And 2) I didn't mind. It wasn't too much.
As time went on, though, she started having me do more and more. She has been job creeping like crazy! Yesterday, she posted a written list of chores I need to do daily on the inside of a cabinet. She now says that during S's only nap time in the morning, I need to be cleaning and doing my “chores”. If I get them done, I can rest. Of course, I never get them done before the baby wakes up. Another thing I can't stand MB doing, is whenever she comes into the room and S goes running to her, all she does is plop S in her highchair and give her food. S cries, food. S laughs, food. S runs, FOOD. It's like MB's only solution to the children is food. Not only that, she's constantly giving S candy when I've requested numerous times for her not to do that. S has become very whiny and aggressive, and all the food people shove down her tiny throat don't make it any better. Especially not the candy. MB gives S suckers when I've told her it makes me uncomfortable. I don't think 19 month old children need suckers.
When R gets home from school, we eat lunch and have to go out on some activity. He has some behavioral issues, so on nights when the family is going out I like him to take a nap. MB knows this and agrees. Yet, she often questions why I put him to bed and if I'm going to do useful things while he's in bed. When I started, my job was THE CHILDREN. Now I have to do dishes, grocery shopping, laundry, clean the kitchen/bathrooms/living room/basement and the children's rooms. I don't mind cleaning things or grocery shopping as long as it's for the children. But I think it's ridiculous all the jobs she expects me to do.
Not only that, but I only make $300 a week. My work day is 7am-5:00pm, M-F. And I almost never get out on time. MB has never paid overtime and never pays a babysitting wage on weekends. And she almost never reimburses me for what I spend on her children while we're out. DB is always on business trips and R just wants his fathers' attention. Whenever DB goes on a trip, R loses self control for a few days. Doesn't listen, is very aggressive and says terrible things to myself and his sister. We've tried a lot of different methods to help him, and the only one that works is constantly occupying his time with anything and everything. His favorite distraction is when we have a “Dance Party”. We go into the basement, turn on music, and dance for almost two hours. He loves it, and then we snuggle up on the couch for a nice movie.
The parents and I have an excellent relationship, but I often feel a little odd. They don't treat me like family, friend, or employee. It's something that I honestly can't put my finger on. We have great communication, but MB often tries treating me like a child. I am basically raising her children, and she doesn't respect it.
Wednesday's the children have a swimming class after 5pm. R has a class first, then S and MB have to get in the water together. When we go to swimming, I'm supposed to pay attention to R while MB and S are in the pool. Instead, she puts a screaming-for-attention S in my arms during R's class, and talks to the other mom's. The other mom's are obviously uncomfortable with me and my position, as well as MB ignoring her daughter, but instead of saying something they all cold shoulder me and pretend I don't exist. Then, she never even pays me for the two hours of overtime. I'm much too nervous to ask for any.
I know this jumped around a lot, but I just had to vent. I love my job, but sometimes it makes me want to pull my hair out! Any suggestions on how to approach MB for paying overtime or how to help R during DB's business trips?
at 6:00 AM