27 January, 2012
Nanny's Dream Job Becomes Heartwrenching Nightmare
I’m really hoping I can get some advice about a heartbreaking situation I have found myself in. I have been a nanny for 7 years and have always had fantastic relationships with all of my charges and have always been head over heels in love with them. I have stayed in contact with all of them. My most recent was caring for a baby girl from 2 weeks old until she was 13 months. The family had to relocate across the country and it has been extremely difficult for me. Normally this situation is heart wrenching, but I move on healthily and am excited for a new baby to be a huge part of my life. I never imagined I would miss her SO much after starting this new job.
3 weeks ago I started with a new family and their 5 month old son. I feel like crying every time I come home from work and before I go to work! He is the most difficult infant I have ever seen in my life and it is really starting to take a toll on me. He cries constantly, but not really crying, more like whining that turns into hysterical screaming. He shakes, sweats and is inconsolable. I have tried everything to calm him down but he doesn’t stop until he is asleep, which is extremely difficult for him to do. When he finally falls asleep he only naps for about 30 minutes and wakes up in full hysterics. There are maybe two times during the time I am there which he smiles and coos at me, and it lasts about 30 seconds until out of nowhere he is building on hysteria again. The mother seems to be in denial that something may be wrong whether it be colic or something else more serious. She always chalks it up to “oh he must miss me so much when I’m gone!” I feel there should have been some definite bonding with him since I am there about 35 hrs a week, but it’s like he has no idea who I am at all. He completely rejects any affection, arches his back and seems he doesn’t want to be held at all. He is upset whether he is being held, walked around, bounced, played music, fed, changed or sitting in a swing or on the floor. I feel like a bad nanny because I cannot in any way console this poor baby and I feel like he hates me! I have thought about quitting but I feel so awful giving up on myself and the baby, I want it to work but I can’t go on like this.
After the first week of a new job I am so used to having a baby love me and reacting positively to my affection. All I want is to be able to snuggle him and give him so much love and it breaks my heart that I can’t do that. What would you do?
at 7:10 PM