I have been a nanny for four years, I love my job and think it is one of the best out there. But I also think there are far too many people who take advantage of it. What I saw yesterday disturbed me so much that I had to do something about it.
I take my charge to the childrens story time at Barnes and Noble in Chandler Fashion Mall in Chandler Arizona every Friday. We love going there and playing with all of the other kids. Well, I walked in this last Friday on January 20th at 10:30 a.m. ready for story time as usual. I pushed the stroller up next to a seat and grabbed a few books off of the shelf while we waited for the story time to begin. Next to me was a young woman in her early twenties with brown hair and blonde streaks that was tied up in a bun. She was sitting on the ground next to her charge (an adorable little asian boy who looked to be around three) and while everyone else was reading books to their kids, her charge just sat there in his chair with nothing. The nanny was on facebook and checking the internet on her phone while completely ignoring the little boy. She didn't talk to him, look at him, she was so engrossed with her phone. When her charge tried to grab a book on the shelf behind him, she took it away and said in a harsh voice that he doesn't get to touch anything.
The little boy went back to sitting quietly while she went back to her phone. As the story time began, she stayed on her phone the entire time. When there was a special guest who arrived (Maisy the mouse from the Maisy mouse childrens books) all the kids got to go get a picture with Maisy. I took my charge up there and we got pictures and she absolutely loved it. When I turned back, I saw the other nanny and her charge stand up. I thought they might come get a picture like the rest of the kids, but instead she dragged him away still looking at her phone and ignoring his question to go see Maisy. She didn't watch where she was walking obviously and as she left, the little boy walked right into a book shelf!! I was so outraged that she didn't stop at all and merely spoke harshly to her charge again and left the store.
As a nanny who takes her job seriously and really enjoys what I do, this upset me so deeply. If the parents of this little boy are reading this and it sounds like your nanny, PLEASE do something. She had both her purse and a diaper bag with her. Your child deserves someone who loves him and will treat him well!
26 comments:
Poor little guy! At fist it read like a poorly executed time out.
The rest is just awful.
For the sake of the little boy I hopefully that is just a really bad moment and not the norm.
If she is his nanny hopefully someone will give a heads up to the parents just so they can keep eyes and ears out.
I'm glad you are alert and looking out for poorly treated children, but don't assume this is his nanny because they are of different races or because she is young. She could have very easily been his mother or other family member behaving badly.
@Assumptions, either way it was a caregiver and they were doing a pretty sh*tty job of doing so.
No child is going to be pulled from their home because their mom was on the phone at story time, wouldn't let him look at a book or pose with Maisy, and he bumped into a shelf.
OK,
Not if it's a PARENT. Hence, the name of this blog: I saw your NANNY.
Der.
Usually when there is a bad nanny sighting, people jump all over the OP and say the situation really isn't THAT bad or it could be parents, relative, etc. Of course that is always possible but the point of people posting these sightings is to give parents an FYI just in case they happen to be frequenters of this site. The OP posting something is just a heads up, not a reason to go and fire a nanny or arrest a parent without investigating. If you think about it, it's kinda like how the police work... see stuff that could potential be signs of a problem and then investigate from there.
@ "OK," you are right, a child would not be taken away from a mother because she didn't allow her child to take a picture with a puppet or because the child accidentally bumped into something because 1. those actions are not against the law and 2. the mother is in charge of that child and as long as she is not breaking the law, she can do that (although it is not the best methods of parenting, obviously). In the event that this is a nanny, the OP isn't saying "arrest this person!" She is simply trying to alert parents that their nanny may not be doing her job the way that the parents expect and perhaps they should look into the issue.
I honestly feel that this poor child is being neglected. He should have been able to get his picture taken w/Maisy and participate more in the storytime activity. I am a great Nanny and would NEVER treat my charge this way.
I just can't get that upset about this. As has been discussed multiple times on this board, kids need to be "watched" for safety but not interacted with every second. A three-year-old should be able to just sit and take in his surroundings for a while. especially in a bookstore. Was it okay for him to be taking a book from the shelf to read in any event, it is a store, not a library afterall. Kids have to learn that they will not be "entertained" every second, or may not even have access to a favorite toy for a while, and need to learn to "self-comfort" before they end up like the psych pts I see every day at work who, as adults, can not function now that the world isn't there paying attention to them 100% of the time.
As for the "puppet", I also have to agree with Nanny. Even though she is paid, and parents have their inviolate responsibilities to their children, sometimes enough is enough. We have ducked out of meeting SpongeBob, Barney, Santa, etc. and the kids are fine with it. Kids are tough and will survive not meeting Maisy. It's a good gentle early lesson in that you can't always get what you want. What I want, is that more young adults (the pop. I work with) had been taught this by their their ever hovering parents.
@Room to Grow:
I have to disagree w/you...as a kid, I never got to sit on Santa's lap and have been traumatized since!!
Just sayin'....
Room To Grow,
I get your point and agree to an extent (about a child self-soothing/not always getting what they want) HOWEVER - what was the flippin' purpose of even going to that childrens event? I bet I know why - so that lazy-good-for-nothing nanny could get out of the house and away from the watchful eye of a SAHM! All she was interested in doing was texting with her friends/boyfriend. She didn't give a crap about that poor kid or his well-being!
Personally, I think she was cruel.
@ Room to Grow, I agree with you that children need to learn how they can't get everything they want, but bringing him to an event and not letting him touch anything or do anything is just cruel. It is perfectly reasonable to let the child look at a book (even in a bookstore). If the child wanted to run around and scream, that is OK to not let him get what he wants. There's a huge difference there.
What is the point in even bringing the child there if she is not going to let him touch anything or do anything?
OP I'm glad you are keeping a watchful eye. In this case I am torn. Yes she could have been being a very neglectful nanny, but then maybe not.
At first it seemed as though she is a unskilled nanny and trying to give him some version of time out for a previous misdeed. I don't understand the bookshelf thing. That is something I would have to see to determine. Did the boy give any indication he was hurt? She may have thought he was being stubborn and refusing to leave. Still better ways to deal with that, but as I said it seems that if she is a nanny she might be a novice.
I wonder if she was receiving bad news on the phone since she left so quickly.
OP, since you go every week maybe you'll have the chance to observe her other actions, and you can determine how bad she really is.
I can't believe some of you guys! What is with the knee-jerk defend-the-nanny reactions? I am not a parent, but if I was, I certainly would not be paying someone to take my kid to story time and play on her phone. This is, simply put, a lazy nanny and if I was her boss I would give her a stern talking-to and then would probably follow up by having a friend randomly pop up at storytime.
OP, could you possibly fill us in with more identifying details? You said she was carrying a purse and diaper bag--do you happen to remember what they looked like? I'm just thinking if this boy's mom is reading, she might not automatically know this is her family she's reading about, based on what you wrote.
From reading these comments I know that there was some confusion, so I am going to clarify.
First, I really do support kids having some time on their own to play. I think it is healthy for them to learn to entertain themselves. My own charge has about an hour a day where she plays in her high chair/pack-n-play while I do some cleaning. But I still acknowledge that she is there, look at her, check on her. But I do agree with what others have posted here that I found it just... cruel to bring a child to an event and let him do nothing. What is the point? To make him miserable watching every single other child interact?
Another thing brought up about assuming she was his nanny because they were different races, I do appreciate this being brought up. I ran an orphanage for a year and a half and have a heart for it. What truly made me assume she was his nanny was her interaction with him and his interaction back... something was just... off. I know, that might be a b.s. answer, but it's what I observed.
Also, I was close enough to this nanny that I saw that she wasn't receiving bad news of any kind, but in fact was on facebook on her iphone and was looking at pictures.
Next, the issue with the bookshelf, she was so distracted by her phone that she wasn't watching where he was walking as she was holding his hand that she let him run right into a bookshelf. Again, I understand that kids as a natural part of growing up get little bumps and bruises, but it was the fact that she honestly didn't look as if she cared that he bumped into the bookshelf at all.
As far as further descriptions, I didn't pay particular attention to the bags she was carrying, so I don't want to give details that might be wrong. Sorry, I just want to give accurate information.
Anyway, to end this long comment... my only hope by posting this is that as a nanny myself, it hurts me and others that I know who are good at their job to have these people out there who honestly can make the nanny idea as a whole look bad. I only want the family of this little boy (if they are reading this) to be aware that something might be off with their nanny. It is simply to make them aware. And of course, I want this little boy to have the best experience and memories possible from his nanny.
Sorry, but I have to wonder about the judgement call of a nanny who thinks that Marypoppin'pills is an appropriate screen name 4 a nanny. just a thought.
that is really sad. He was being so good too! poor little guy. in these types of situations I usually pry and ask questions. I pretend to try to be her friend so I could get some info and then try to contact parents.
lynfinn, marypoppinpills, or MPP as she is known here, manages this site for Jane doe, the founder of I Saw HYour Nanny. She RE-posts contributions made by nannies and parents. Her name is on virtually every single entry.
I'm not trying to negate the op's sighting here but I'm curious how you know for a fact she was on FB on her phone? Could you see it? The parents of the kids I nanny often text me frequently throughout the day with questions that require more than a one second glance or response.
OP,
Thank you for responding to the Readers... we really appreciate the additional information.
One thing you mentioned that I would like to comment on:
"I only want the family of this little boy (if they are reading this) to be aware that something might be off with their nanny. It is simply to make them aware. And of course, I want this little boy to have the best experience and memories possible from his nanny."
ISYN exists to be an extra set of eyes and ears for a child. All we want is for the Parents to be made aware of what is going on when they aren't around... ultimately it is their decision what they do with that information.
Mismatch, OP has stated twice now that she saw this nanny on facebook. Can't you just believe her instead of having to ask her again? I think most of us have been on FB long enough that we can instantly recognize the logo even at a quick glance.
OP, thanks for coming back and clarifying. Though for me, there was absolutely no need because you pretty much just restated everything you put in your first post. I don't know why people didn't get it the first time around. I hope this boy's parents will read your post and be able to do something about his sucky nanny.
How many times have people here asked "how do you know it was the nanny?" I swear there ought to be a disclaimer with each sighting. It's so damn annoying, maybe we could line each of 'em up and take a swat at them?
That was one of the most depressing posts I have ever read on here...poor little guy. That was more than a nanny having a bad day...no good nanny would treat her charge that way. I mean, ignore everything else, chalk it up to a time out, or to her letting him be independent for a moment...alright, I can see that I guess, though I don't take a child to story time and literally ignore them the whole time we're there, but maybe some nannies do. But the end, where she deprives him of getting to meet the character AND proceeds to walk him into a shelf?!! That is absolutely cruel.
Mismatchme:
Who is that hottie in the picture??
Damn..he is fine.
Just sayin'.......................
Now op has control issues?
My god! Someone has issues and it's not the OP.
What a rude little bitch you are Miss Mannah.
How dismal your life must be if you feel the need to get your jollies from being an internet bully.
Yes, I am a rude bitch. And you are an idiot. You cannot even post on the right thread and then you go and blame the mods for it. It isn't MPP's fault you are unable to click on the proper links.
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