This may sound like an odd question, but I was just wondering how many other nannies have ever had to deal with their bosses wandering the house in their underpants at times.
I've been with the same family for 2 years, and the parents and I get along very well. A few times MB has come to talk to me while getting ready for work and been in just a bra and jeans, or a t-shirt and pantyhose, or something similar. I always wrote those off pretty easily - I did have to walk in on her breastfeeding a few times a day for a year after all.
Then, the other day, I came in to work (at my usual time) and went upstairs where I could hear MB playing with the kids, and when I poked my head in the room DB was in there in just his boxers. We all sort of just laughed, he apologized, and we moved on, but I thought this was a funny example of the kinds of things that happen in a nanny job that don't happen with other professions - you get poop on your hands, you get puked on, and sometimes you walk in on your boss in his underpants!
27 comments:
Although I've never seen any DB in underwear (thank heavens!), there was a family I worked for where I saw the MB in her bra a few times (also saw while breast-feeding) and occasionally she would pee with the door open. We were also very close, so I wrote it off. After all, I've seen women in underwear before. No biggie! But, I guess it depends on your comfort level, because I'm sure there are nannies out there who wouldn't be comfortable at all.
I'm pretty relaxed about it. I've seen most of my bosses in some stage of undress or another. My MB's seem to think it is fine to wander around totally naked (my newset MB called me into her room on my 2nd day to chat, she was stark naked lol!) and often the DB's in their boxers It really doesn't bother me in the slightest. I've also been called into bathrooms whilst they're showering (MB's)
Oh my, I'm pretty surprised that some of you have seen your bosses completely NAKED! I would not be able to have a conversation like that. That's really crossing the line, in my opinion. I've only ever witnessed my MB or DB in their pajamas (nothing scandalous) and one MB would come downstairs in an oversized shirt with just underwear on (just before getting ready for work)...that didn't bother me. But...naked?! Ew.
Well when i have someone who is in my house, no matter how close I am to them. I don't walk around naked. That is only for when I would be without an adudience. I've accidentally walked into the kitchen when my step-son was home. It was awfully ebarrassing
I had a position a couple years ago where the MB was always undressed when I got there, usually just getting in or out of the shower. Most of the time she was in a shirt with underwear, but there were many, many times where she was just wrapped in a towel. I was uncomfortable with this, but there was not much I could do for it. I think it depends on the parents' level of comfort with themselves/nanny. In my current position I have seen the dad in boxers several times, but the mom is much more reserved.
Being a nanny definitely is different than any other job.
My bosses are constantly in the middle of changing. I get there and dad is in boxers when mom gets home she undresses to change into sweats. I used to be a live in and they were a little more reserved. I chalk it up to them being a too comfortable now. I have been here for almost 9 years.
Accidentally walking in on someone is one thing, what bothers me is when a DB walks around without a shirt, or in boxers and no pants. If you are a man, and there is a young female employed in your household, you put on some clothes!! I can't believe how inappropriate some DBs are.
If I ever had a MB or DB pee in front of me I would probably run screaming. That's wayyyyy over the line.
I walked in on a DB stark naked, he squatted behind a table to talk to me. No joke. For another family I was a live-in, I left to drop the little one at preschool and walked in on MB naked chatting on the phone in the front room, she smiled and waved at me still sitting there chatting. Those were my two 'extreme' families, others I've seen in just underwear or breastfeeding/pumping.
hahaha....he "squatted behind a table" to talk to you?! Hilarious, but gross! My DB is always coming out of the shower and runs across the room in boxers (but the tight brief kind, which is worse!) or in a towel and says "oops, got to get my clothes"...
But really? Every day you "forget" to bring your clothes in the bathroom with you when you shower? Come on....
I've seen DB in his tightie whities more times than I care to. He knows I come everyday at the same time yet he is sometimes sitting in the baby's room rocking her when I get there. You'd think he'd throw a robe on or something before leaving his bedroom. I want to cover my eyes and yell, "Oh, my eyes!"
Oh my god, reading these is shocking for me! Seriously you guys are ok with seeing your bosses in underwear? Or you didn't immediately complain or quit when seeing your boss naked? That would have put me over the edge! The closest I've come to that was my last MB would occasionally still be in the shower when I would get there and she would scurry down the hallway with a towel around her afterwards. But she would never just waltz out butt-naked! My current MB is breast-feeding and she takes the baby into her bedroom and shuts the door the whole time. There is absolutely no reason for me to see what is going on, ever. Good grief, there are some major boundary issues going on with some of you.
I had one nanny where MB would routinely walk around in her room with the door open. She would also encourage me to play with the baby in her room while she showered and then would come out and not cover up. I chalked it up to her being an athlete and being use to having other girls see her naked. I also had a DB who would always come out of the shower with just a towel on and walk around the house. Sooooooooo uncomfortable!
I seriously have no issues with seeing my bosses naked or half naked, none at all. I have no issues with seeing anyone naked. Maybe I am just very relaxed about the human body? I would never walk around my bosses house naked and wouldn't let non family members see me naked, but around close family I'm very comfortable naked, so maybe it's just the way I grew up? It might not be considered appropriate, but I could always say to my boss 'sorry, I'm not comfortable talking to you when you're naked, could you please put a robe/towel/t-shirt on' or 'do you mind if I talk to you from outside the bedroom / bathroom door' etc
I should point out that I also do not have issues with the human body. I do not find nakedness itself a problem. I find that bosses blurring boundaries a problem. I will change clothes in front of close friends or be around them when they are breast-feeding their children. But they are not my employers, nor I theirs. I consider myself a professional and if I were an office employee and was invited to my boss's home for some reason, I would hope he or she would be fully dressed.
I can't help but notice a few people mentioning breastfeeding as something that makes them feel uncomfortable. Really? I am surprised at this. I wouldn't have thought that nannies would feel uncomfortable around that. I am just curious as to why?
It is interesting though. Everyone has their specific comfort level. For instance, my little sister doesn't even like to wear a swimsuite around the family. And I can shower with a close friend. I am very open and dont care about nakedness. Other people just can't handle it. I don't know why there is such a big difference.
My husband will walk outside in his boxers to get the mail or something. I really don't like it. I don't think its appropriate for him to let people see him like that. He also doesn't like me to be in very revealing clothes unless he is around. So I guess the only person I care about being clothed would be my husband. He's my eye candy...no one elses :)
I've had MBs nurse in front of me I don't have a problem with that Other than that no MB or DB has been nude or partially nude in front of me. That's just not professional at all to me.
I have seen MBs breastfeeding and that's ok. My current one does it in the other room with the door closed and that is nice. I have never seen a DB in underwear or shirtless or anything like that. The least I have seen one wearing is a tanktop and shorts (not short shorts). Last year I did apply for a job with a nudist family (I wrote about it on this site actually!) because the pay was great and I didn't get it. I always like to cover most of my skin up at work and in public, I just feel more comfortable.
I nannied for a family who were a very, shall we say, clothing optional kinda people. MB would nurse and walk around in a towel and even pee with the door open but that didn't bother me to much as she was a woman and she usually tried to keep mostly covered. But DB was the worst! He never wore a shirt when he was home, always walked around in a towel after his shower, he would even come into the baby's room and play with baby with just the towel on. He was a cyclist and was always wearing the really tight bike shorts. The day i showed up for work to find him buck naked in the kitchen making coffee I wanted to die. I was so embarrassed!! I spoke to the nanny who took over after I left and she said he did the same to her. She thought it gave him a thrill to be so exposed with a young woman in the house. I know it is not the reason all DBs do it but I can't help but think that for some it is. I still watch their kids on occasion and it seems more often than not when I show up even though he knows what time i am getting there for some reason or another his clothes are gone. So glad to know I am not the only who has had to deal with this.
UT, your wording is odd to me: you don't "have" to deal with that. You could just not work for those people if they make you uncomfortable. Or, if they were your legal employers still, you could possibly sue them for sexual harassment.
Strawberry, breast-feeding itself does not make me uncomfortable. It is the notion that employers think it is ok to show nannies their breasts that makes me uncomfortable. That's why we are trying to get offices to install private pumping rooms, because it would be inappropriate for women to pump at their desks in front of all their coworkers. However, if these MBs are being discreet about it and not just "whipping it out", then I am absolutely fine with it.
Wow.. soo many different views.
When I was a live in, it wasnt uncommon for me to see MB or DB in pj's or DB without a shirt. Once or twice I saw MB in just a bra and pants, but that didnt worry me.
My current position, live out, I have seen mum in a bra and work pants, only the once and DB without a shirt on a few times.
IMO; it is their house, if i had a problem with it, I would definitely say something, but I am no stranger to the human body, clothed or otherwise and I dont think its a huge problem.
Maybe talking to them while they are showering, on the toilet or stark naked might worry me.. lol
UT nanny it sounds like you have a situation of harassment going on.
It's one thing for these things to happen by accident or what have you, but to knowingly do it to get your jollies no okay.
You can make your discomfort known.
I'm really sorry about you having to deal with that.
@Aussie nanny, where in Australia are you from? I went for a trip there at 15 and have always wanted to go back.
@Susannah I did quit that job. I gave notice shortly after walking in on DB naked. I now work for a great family who are always clothed when I get there.
Oh geez, my last MB would walk in the door, make a beeline for the living room, and drop all her clothes in the process. And then in a couple of days she would yell down the stairs at me to find x,y,z pieces of clothing. It was strange, but I had no where else to go so I pretended like it didn't bother me! This was near the end of my stay there, so I suppose she was comfortable w/me.
Saw DB w/o a shirt many times, but that's not a problem, cuz the dude was/is HOT!!! hahaha, but not my type in many other ways, don't worry my fellow nannies! As a live in, we went out of our way to avoid each other in these types of situations.
I'm an in home carer for a family with triplets, so MB's always at home. I start fairly early in the morning, and with triplets sleep is a luxury in their house - so it's not uncommon for me to arrive and MB to still be in her pyjamas. She's breastfeeding the triplets (champion effort, for the record! At 4mths, we're only just having to start supplementing with formula) and BF is really common here; it's not an issue for me.
As far as DB goes though, possibly a few times shirtless, occasionally in the mornings as he's getting ready for work or when the kids are swimming, but that's it.
And, I'm thankful. I think that's about where I'd make the line.
Mom breastfeeding in front of me = totally ok.
Mom walking around naked or in underwear = weird.
Dad walking around anything less than fully clothed = absolutely not ok!!
I have nannied for two families in my life time and have seen all of the parents at least partially naked. My most recent encounter was the dad of the family I currently work for walking around upstairs completely naked! That was definitely awkward!! The mom has walked around with pants but no bra on, or in her bikini. It's like they have no shame.
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