Monday

Former Employer's Idle Mind Causing Mayhem

opinion dec
I nannied for a family last year for almost a year. I was nothing but professional, and loving to their child. I did not sign a confidentiality agreement so ultimately everything that happened, and the way they treated me is fair game in terms of disclosure. I did ended up quitting (there was no contract), because I reached my limit with the way the mother condescended me, and put me down constantly. However the care I provided for their child never failed, and I always loved/treated him as if he was my own. As a result of her own personal issues she has taken it upon herself to keep me from getting a job, or at least attempt. I am not interested in suing, because I have a high standard of morals, but I am honestly growing tired of her scandals.

What can I do from here? I have already been hired by a new loving family, but I am growing concerned she'll stop at nothing to tarnish my name to fulfill her time. She has a new full-time nanny, but does not work, or go to school, volunteer, or really much of any thing, and I am concerned that her idle mind is contributing to her obscene behavior. Please advise...

20 comments:

Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MissMannah said...

I don't know if she has to go as far as suing, but she could at least get a restraining order. She's got a new job, so what's the problem? Ex-momboss can bitch and moan all she wants, now it is up to OP to prove herself to her new boss that she is a good nanny. Actions speak louder than words.

Village said...

If you do ANYTHING it will put wood on the fire of her anger.

IGNORE HER. In the end, that's the unkindest cut of all.

Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phoenix said...

Um. just because you have morals doesn't mean you can't defend yourself. If you sue, you are defending yourself. Right now you are a punching bag. Unless you grow a pair it will not stop until this mom finds something else to be crazy about. You are allowed to sue for slander and it will not degrade you in any way or make you any less moral. Be strong girl. Fight back

OP said...

I'm sorry for those I offended with the suing comment. I should have been more clear. She is the girlfriend of an NBA player, and if I do sue it will very quickly become the target of the media. I guess what I meant by my morals is that I do not want to be paid, because of what she is doing, and in order to cover my attorney fees (from suing) I would have to demand damages, and ultimately be paid. I did not mean to offend you its just a sensitive situation, because they have a lot of money and I don't want my intentions to be lost in that. Hope that makes more sense. I think ignoring it probably is the best option, but it is still unsettling to know what she is doing. I was hoping someone knew an alternative method other than suing.

Phoenix said...

alternative method? Inform the media of what she is doing.

Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
StrawberryShortKakes said...

Jedd I agree with you about having sympathy up until OP said the thing about morals. But I think the OP explained what she meant and it now makes more sense to me.

I also had a problem with how the OP bashed the ex-MB for having a nanny but not working or doing anything else. While I wouldn't personally choose to have a nanny if I were a SAHM, I don't think you should bash someone for choosing to do that. Yes, I think the mom should take advantage of the luxury of not having to work in order to spend more time with the kids, but that is ultimately HER choice.

If I remember correctly, this MB posted a thread on ISYN about you previously, am I correct? By you saying she is the girlfriend of an NBA player rang a bell with me. If that is the case, I think this situation is pretty nasty, from what I have read. Previously, I think you were afraid of being able to get a new job because of the blacklisting comments ex-MB has made about you but look, you have managed to get a job! If I were you, I would count my blessings and move on with things. If your new MB gets wind of the situation with ex-MB, don't get all crazy about it. Calmly explain your side of the story and hopefully she believes you. Tell her you would appreciate a chance to show her those were lies and you in fact are a good nanny. Exactly what a PP said... actions speak louder than words.

kitchen help said...

Why are you worried how your former employer spends her time?

It seems nannies should carry small video and audio equipment; just in case situations get out of hand.

TC said...

I know you don't want to sue her but because she's posting stuff all over the net you really need to consult an attorney. They should be able to talk to you before charging you anything and explaining things to you

RBTC said...

i am glad this poster is keeping us ...well, posted.

i found your comment that this psycho mom is idle and does not engage in any positive activities very interesting, i have run into that kind of person

ok, as you have said - you have a good job now and you will prove to that mom how great you are

the prob is the psycho nba wife - if she stalks you causing you stress then you have 2 options - let her do it or fight back

you may wind up having no choice but to take legal action press or no press - it's clear the woman wants it

she will get the drama from you or someone else - she seems to not be well

keep us posted - thank you

NYCorBUST said...

I must have missed the previous posts... does anybody have the link(s)?

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

I would just enjoy my new position if I were you and see what happens. Hopefully, if she does decide to tarnish your name, by the time she does, you will already have proved yourself to your current family.

Perhaps you are just overreacting a bit.

Brandi said...

Well you have a new job so that's a great thing, and one less worry for you.

Try ignoring her she'll probably get bored and move on to another target.

Depending on how harmful her attacks are or become you may need to settle this legally, sometimes people only understand lawyers, particularly those who think they are entitled to something.

Take care of yourself.

HELLO said...

Contact the Wendy Williams show! Mabie they will have you as a guest

need more said...

I would like to know exactly what this MB did to OP. OP, can you be more specific?

relentless said...

My goodness people leave it alone already! I don't think OP is looking for your empathy it sounds like she just wanted some advice. I really love this site, but I think commenters can take the value out of what is really being addressed. One way or another OP if you are still following...just ignore her/him. I know its difficult, because as a nanny you love your boss like family, but sometimes those ties have to be broken and not re-visited. Just move on, and tell your current MB what the situation is if you haven't already. Please don't respond with specifics you told us enough....people just want fuel for their own dramatic fire. Thanks for sharing.

need more said...

relentless,

I just asked OP a simple question. I am sympathetic to her situation. I wanted to know more. Why are you so angry that people want to know what happened? Let OP speak for herself. I asked politely and did not put forth any accusations. I am genuinely interested.

MissMannah said...

My husband and I rented it and he told me I needed to buy a copy and put it in DB's stocking.