Wednesday

Social Networking...

opinion 1 I was wondering how many nannies and employers were 'friends' on Facebook? I just became friends with both of mine and I was just curious how many out there were as well.

24 comments:

Frankie said...

I would never have my boss on facebook, you might slip up, or get fraped! I wouldn't want to be worrying about what I was saying on there incase they saw, I have a hard enough time trying to keep it clean for my parents to see!

Belle Vierge said...

My boss & I are connected on LinkedIn, but not facebook. My older kids have facebook, and I'm friends with them, but they only have restricted access to my profile. Filters are in place for a reason!

bad idea said...

If you have your employer on your facebook, especially if you are their nanny, you are stupid.

MissMannah said...

I don't have my boss on there, not because I'm worried I'm saying something bad or anything but I just would rather keep that part of my life personal. However, my job is finishing up next week and I want to be able to keep in touch with her and see updates on Baby K so I'm going to ask her if it is ok if I "friend" her on facebook.

I think any adult who doesn't want to have family members or has trouble keeping it "clean" for them has some serious maturity issues. And what the heck does "fraped" mean anyway?

CookieNanny said...

I was friends with two former employers during my time of employment. It created a huge problem with the first employer, mostly because she was insane and went on a crazy-ass tirade about how I was friends with her former nanny (something she knew before she hired me), and my own roommate, whom she also did not approve of, because my roommate had a child at a young age. With my last employer, however, we were friends at the time of my employment and we still are. I have nothing to hide on my facebook, and if you don't either, than I think you'll be okay. However, if you hadn't already requested or accepted their request, I would say no. I just feel that it can be hard to maintain boundaries in this industry, and facebook doesn't help.

CookieNanny said...

Ha! Just caught the "fraped" thing. Is that a typo or some weird facebook lingo? I feel behind the times...

Nanny of One said...

Hello All:

I am NOT friends with my employers or past employers on facebook. However I am friends with some psat charges whom are now older sixteen and up, however limited access for sure!

I do not think that its a good idea to put your employer on facebook no matter the age gap. For instance both myself and my employer are in our late twenties so we have stuff in common that being said, keep the profession of nannying just that a profession and refrain from personalizing it too much.

FRAPED:
Ps. I think fraped refers to facebooked raped and occurs when your employer adds you and then goes through your facebook account's every detail.

Dont do it! said...

I would strongly discourage anyone from friending their MB or DB on facebook. My first nanny job, which was over 2 years ago was with a seven year old boy. MB asked to friend me on facebook and I didn't know any better so I accepted it. Then, it seemed like she was facebook stalking me! I know she was just curious about my life but she would always be asking me questions about stuff I did and it got weird.

I don't have anything to hide so at first I didn't mind but then I felt like she knew too much about me. Those lines of professionalism were definitely blurred. Also, I know it isn't good to lie but sometimes when I would have to "stretch the truth" I would be paranoid she would find out. She was a really needy MB, always extending hours and claiming she told me things when she didn't, so I often had to think on my feet.

Anyway, just don't do it. I am still friends with her on facebook, even though I left the job, but I limited her access so she can't even really see anything I post.

Frankie said...

"Fraped" means facebook raped, its someone gets access to your facebook when you've left it unattended and they put a (usually rude) status.

As for having "maturity issues" my maturity level is fine thank you very much, MissMannah. I did not realise it was against the law to have things on facebook you would rather your family not see, such as rude frapes. When I say "keep it clean" I also mean deleting posts from friends that contain bad language, to prevent young cousins from seeing them.

MissMannah said...

Well, you certainly have me convinced of your maturity, by using terms such as "frape" and thinking it is acceptable for children to use facebook.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

wow, fraped is a really offensive term

dc nanny said...

I'm friends with all of my past employers on Facebook. I'm also friends with my older past charges (who are now 12, 14, and 16, and are like family). I don't filter anything really, because I don't ever say anything that needs filtering.

That being said, I would never be friends with my current employers. This is a completely different type of relationship, and I would not want them involved in my personal life.

I really think it depends on the relationship.

I said...

I am friends with current AND past employers on Facebook!
This includes, my work-study job in college, my daycare job as a toddler teacher after graduating from college, and my current job as a nanny (but when we became FB friends, I was their daughter's teacher at the daycare as well as babysitter, so they weren't my employers yet at the time). With all my jobs, it's been more of a friend relationship than an employer/employee relationship so nothing I've posted has ever been a problem.

Frankie said...

When did I ever say it was acceptable for children to use facebook? I said young cousins, not children.

Saraj said...

I'm friends with MB, but she has limited access. I did it because I have a FB photo album for her and uploads pics of what we're up to during the day so she can stay in touch. Some of my previous employers are 'friended' too. I've had no issues so far. If there's something I'd rather not have them see, I'd rather not have anyone see - you never know when someone might say something or if someone you know is friends with your boss etc

Colorado Nanny said...

I'm currently friends with MB (and some of her family) as well as friends with past employers. I accepted her request but know that she is a) rarely on there and b) I know that she has better things to do with her time than stalk my page on a daily basis. We have an open relationship and I have nothing to hide from her and don't have inappropriate pictures/posts so I don't see the issue.

I can see both sides of the issue but with my current situation I think it's totally fine.

nannyT said...

Im friends with my employer on facebook, Was before she hired me, Im friends with her parents and grandparents and aunts and cousins. But thats cause I work for my sister. Im also friends with past employers, I dont hide anything. I didnt hide anything when I worked for them. They knew of my hobbies ( shooting guns) and they know my life. Were all good!

ATL Nanny said...

I was facebook friends with a former employer while I worked for them. I thought it was great in the beginning -- I have nothing to hide, my page is very clean/professional, etc. And she really, really loved when I post pictures of the children and tag her and her husband in them. She preferred that to me emailing them to her because then she didn't have to turn around and email them to friends/family or post them on Facebook. It was all great.

Until I started feeling like my privacy was being violated. I hated coming in on Monday and having them ask specific questions about my weekend plans -- where I hiked on Saturday, how I liked my brunch at local restaurant on Sunday, etc. And they started asking leading, probing questions about my current relationship, trying to determine how serious it was, etc. I really regretted ever giving them that window into my personal life. I eventually defriended and blocked them -- and lied and told them I deleted my facebook account altogether. Soon thereafter, I got engaged and moved in with my significant other. They found out through the grapevine and fired me.

Since then, I've refused to add an employer as a Friend. I want our relationship to stay professional and somewhat distant -- I don't want to be friends or be entangled in each other's personal lives. That has worked very well for me and I will never be Facebook Friends with an employer again.

I am, however, friends on Facebook with some former employers. I love that because I get to see regular updates on the kids and stay in touch that way.

NannyPoppins said...

Oh NO, NO, NO! Definitely not. I keep things professional and leave it at that. I think things can get too weird having them on my page and I do not want to cross that line. Also, I enjoy my private life and like to separate work from my own personal life. I do not think the 2 mix well. While my employers are great I do not want them on my social network. But I must admit I have "FB stalked" past/current employers before hahah.

NCNanny said...

I am friends with both parents of the couple I am currently working for. I use Facebook to stay connected with other people, not as a diary, so I have no problem with them seeing whatever I have posted.

I also do not post pictures of their child unless they know about it. I think it is wrong to post pictures of others children without their knowledge even if you are the one taking the pictures.

NannyB said...

No, absolutely not. My boss and I have a great work relationship and I prefer not to make it more personal by adding her on Facebook. I am friends with some of my former employers on facebook, but I never added them until after my work with their family had been completed. Honestly, I just think it's asking for trouble.

nycmom said...

I have a fb account though have not updated it in 2 years so I'm not a very interesting "friend!"

I would never be friends with a current nanny or babysitter. After employment ended, I would have no problem being friends. I have a fairly conservative attitude here though. I also will not friend people at work who could be considered junior to be or whom I supervise/evaluate in any way. I agree with many people above and just think it blurs the lines too much. Nanny/Employer is already such an unusual and personal relationship that I think it is important to maintain some professional boundaries.

NYCorBUST said...

I am fb friends with my MB. We friended each other (I don't remember who initiated) because I was out of the country for a while, and we wanted to be able to talk during that time, exchange pics, etc, and I had limited computer time while overseas. Since I've been back, I've had to edit myself somewhat. I don't complain about work, etc. (I love my job, but everybody has work complaints sometimes!) Also I limited her access for a time when my friends knew I was looking for a new job, before I told her. It has been fine overall, and she really is like family to me in a lot of ways. In my next position, I will not add my employers on facebook. I just want a little more work/personal life separation, especially since I'm looking for a live-in position.

Momwest said...

My former nanny requested to friend me and I agreed. She loved to take pictures and add them to her Facebook page. I did not like having any pictures of our family posted on the internet due to privacy concerns so I asked her to take down photos of my child. She did but continued to post pictures of other children. She used Facebook as a diary and started posting pictures and bragging about outings with my child. When her friends would tell her how lucky she was to have a job with such perks, she would tell them that the "bad" balanced the good and then started posting about "bad" events like a potty accident. Although she never named my child, everyone knew who she was talking about. I asked her to please stop posting about my child and the job. She did but I could tell she was miffed. How do other parents handle job confidentiality in the Facebook age?