Sunday

My Nightmare Nanny Job

Nanny Horror stories I’m writing in hopes to get closure. Maybe if I get this off my chest, I’ll feel better. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of them or something reminds me of them. I don’t want to think of them anymore. I want to forget all about them.

Last fall I left my management job to become a nanny to three kids. I thought being a nanny would be so fulfilling. I imagined taking them to museums, parks, zoos, out to lunch. I finally got an interview and I fell in love. I loved the parents, I loved the kids. They hired me a few days later. During my interview I made a point to ask if I would be allowed to take the kids on outings. The mom said yes after some trust was gained. Which I understood but in my mind I’m wondering why she would even hire me if she didn’t trust me.

My first week went great. I watched the twins while the oldest was at school.

Soon did I find out that this job was not what I signed up for. My days were full of screaming terror. These kids (almost 3 years old) cried at the drop of a toy. Cried if they couldn’t get their socks on. Cried if I cut their food the wrong way. And by cried, I mean SCREAMED. They fought constantly. Hit each other all the time. I know kids do things like this (I have 4 younger siblings) but it was out of control. When the oldest came home, I dreaded the 45 minutes I had to spend with him. He was the meanest kid I have ever met. He had the look of pure evil in his eyes. As soon as I turned my back, he would hit the twins, pull their hair. And the oldest, let’s call him “P” would scream and cry and throw temper tantrums over the most miniscule thing. One day he came home and was fine. 15 minutes later he’s throwing himself on the ground because he wasn’t allowed to have two popsicles at snack time at school. He was especially rude to me. Not listening when I discipline him, sticking his tongue out at me and my personal “favorite” laughing at me as I disciplined.

That was just the kids. The parent’s would leave at 7 am and not return until 4:30 pm. A lot of the time not until 5 or 5:30. Once it was even 7:30! We had discussed a 4:30 end time in my interview and I was fine with that. But that isn’t my complaint. My complaint is that when it was time for me to go home, the awkwardness never went away. I thought during my first few weeks the weirdness would just fade as time went on. It didn’t. If anything it got worse. There was something about them I just didn’t trust. I felt like they were into weird things. Super-natural things. Their demeanor and the way they were led me to think this way. I don’t want to give too much away but their choice of clothing and their kids names (which were totally weird) didn’t help their case.

I was never allowed to leave the house with the kids. Ever. Our only breath of fresh air came when we were allowed to play in the backyard. And like I said, it was fall so it was getting really cold. They never took the kids out either. The only time they left the house was to go to the doctor. My job quickly became very isolating and lonely. My brain had turned to applesauce. Talking to no one over the age of 7 all day really took its toll. I was depressed all the time, always tired. I DREADED getting up every day. I thought about getting into fender benders just to get out of working. I daydreamed of falling down the stairs with the laundry basket in hopes of breaking my leg.

The parents were so over protective it was nuts! They would wash their clothes every day. It didn’t matter if they were only wearing that shirt for a few hours and there was nothing on it. They wore different socks to bed and when they woke up, they went right into the laundry pile. The dish washer broke one day and one of the kids had diarrhea. They assumed it was from me not washing the dishes properly. I know how to wash dishes, I have never owned a dish washer in my life.

This family had already gone through 3 other nannies and I didn’t want to follow them. I didn’t want to let them down. I still liked them, given how weird and strange they were. But when I started crying because I had to go into work, that was when I’d had enough. I put in my two weeks and that was that. I have nightmares to this day that they have me locked in their house and won’t let me leave. I think about them just about every day and I want this to stop. This job was extremely scarring.

I feel a little better having told my story, whether people read it or not. My apologies that it’s jumbled and choppy. And I know it doesn’t sound as bad as it was. I will never be a nanny again.
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87 comments:

Nanny Sarah said...

Oh my gosh- I feel for you. I know exactly how you feel. I have been though that. Please just go. You could do much better.

will never nanny again said...

I worked for a horrible couple once. They were both doctors and they were just clueless. Their children were brats and the parents had absolutely no idea how to cover my "vacation time" they had specifically stated I was to get in my "contract." When I asked them for a day off weeks in advance (for a doctor's appt) they said I could not go! I told them that I specifically got a weeks vacation/personal time in my contract that could be taken if I gave two weeks notice (I gave three.)

It was agreed in my contract that I was to get paid salary, a little less than 400 dollars a week for 50 hours, and extra if they came home late. And they were constantly coming home late. I don't mean by a few minutes, I mean an hour here, a half hour there, 45 minutes there. I started writing down my hours in a log, and one day I noticed that the mother had CROSSED OUT some of my hours and written in times they came home early. So basically they were trying to dock me for them coming home late when it was specifically stated in my contract that it was to be paid me no matter how early they came home. (and they hardly ever came home early at that, they were just trying to screw me.)

Furthermore, contracts mean dick to asshole families like this. They still do what they want. Unless you want to pay court costs and sue them, you're shit out of luck.

They made my life miserable until I gave my notice, and the last two weeks were the worst. I will never nanny again. It was my first and last job. I wish looking back that I had not given any notice at all. I should have walked out.

MissMannah said...

No, it doesn't really sound all that bad, except for the coming home late all the time part. Which is bad enough unto itself. I'm sure it was a lot worse in person or you wouldn't have called it a "nanny nightmare" but you really didn't describe it as one, you just seemed like an inexperienced nanny. So they were a little quirky and very overprotective parents? That's their prerogative. I'd much rather them do laundry everyday than them never do it and dress their kids in dirty clothes.

Truth Seeker said...

Wow Miss Mannah...really?!

Anyway, I am sorry OP this all happened to you. I am sure all of us nannies have had some type of experience similar to yours...I know I have. I have had my share of difficult charges and I personally think we should get paid more for difficult children, but we never do.

I know this family was terrible, and I agree that they were nutso, but don't let this one family deter you from ever working as a nanny again. Seriously..there have got to be some better families out there for you. You sound like a great nanny, you have all the personality traits of a great nanny..it's just that you got the family from Hell!!

Why not consider going back? I love being a nanny. It is very rewarding work, and I just love love kids. Try not to let one family ruin your whole nanny career. Give it some time. At least you learned something from this experience.

You're right about nanny contracts. To sue over them would mean paying court costs and a lot of paperwork. I have never heard of a nanny who sued successfully in court over a nanny contract. They are BS. Also, I think it is nice that you stayed for 2 weeks after giving notice, but you didn't have to given the situation. You could have left immediately. Oh well...that is all water under the bridge now...

Good Luck to you in your future endeavors. I enjoyed your story. :P
I do hope it gives you the closure you were looking for.

Dr. Juris said...

I'm with Miss Mannah on this one....other than them being late, it doesn't seem that bad.

calcuLATER said...

I disagree about this job not sounding so bad, not being able to take the kids out at all sounds really claustrophobic and isolating. I will never understand parents like this, don't people want their children to leave the house and experience the world a little bit?

I am not implying that the OP should have been taking the kids on grand adventures every day, but everyone needs a change of scenery, even if its just a walk to the park or a trip to the grocery store.

I know that personally I would be okay with the parents coming home late, as long as I were paid for the extra time I spent there and given a heads up of maybe an hour or two so I could change any plans I had, but not being able to leave the house with my charges is something that would definitely be a deal breaker for me.

Minka said...

I disagree with Miss Mannah on the job not being so bad. I think this family was weird and OP, if your instincts told you something was off about this family, something probably was. We need to trust our instincts about things more often...if we did, life would be a lot easier. I am happy you trusted yours and left that crazy family. I wonder how many nannies they have gone through since you left. I shudder to think of how many.

RBTC said...

open mind time - i have dealt with people before who - yeah they are into occult practices and you get a very malevolent look from them with a total lack of empathy in the way you are looked/treated

there could very well have been an oppressive energy there that attacked you and is still attacking you - you should go see a priest/rabbi/other

the purpose of a malevolent influence like that is to isolate you, confuse you and paralyze you with fear - and yes,hurt you or cause you to hurt yourself

the pain you are feeling is an indication that you are a good person

My comments are based on a book i read called " People Of The Lie, The Hope For Healing Human Evil" by M Scott Peck, the author of "The Road Less Travelled"

Yes, you were in a dangerous situation, it's not your imagination and you were brave to stick up for yourself and get out

Bostonnanny said...

Miss mannah, that was exactly my thought as I read it. Inexperienced nanny with no to very little background in childcare, dealing with normal young children who needed a little more direction but wasn't getting it because of the lack of experience.

Plus the lack of social interaction and possible stir craziness from never being allowed out can add to the stress but could easily be rectified by taking control and planning exciting fun activities much like a preschool.

The fact that they lied about allowing to take them out and not returning on time would def be a red flag and I would have quit because of that.

MissDee said...

I am curious to know if you and the family spent any time together for observation to see if you would be a good fit for each other. If you decide to return to the profession OP, I highly suggest negoiating a "working interview" for a few hours prior to accepting any position. IMO, these are beneficial to the family and the nanny.

If these children were crying over the smallest things (and it sounds like they were) apparently the parents gave in frequently.

As for leaving the house with the children, I do believe there is a level of trust that needs to be earned between the family and nanny, especially in the beginning. If the nanny has been there for an extended period of time and is not allowed to take the children on outings, even play dates, there is a problem.

Truth Seeker is right: chalk this up as a learning experience.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

I'm surprised the OP is getting so much flack? Sounds like a really shitty position.

I've had a really bad employer and I felt like you towards the end. Yes, it was my first nanny job, but I was really, really great at it...the only part I was inexperienced with was the psycho parents. It's possible these parents were like the ones I was working for, and took advantage of that.

Texas Nanny said...

I'm with Miss Mannah, it doesn't sound like anything an experienced nanny wouldn't be able to handle and correct, other than the late days. My charges and I sometimes go weeks without going on any outings outside the backyard and sometimes don't even do that because of weather, and while it is easier to pass the day if you go on outings, it's not that big of a deal.

And I find the random dropping in here that you think the family is into "supernatural" things to be really weird. Why the hell would that even matter? What is that supposed to tell us about the family? Because to me it just makes it sound like your intolerant of beliefs and lifestyles different from your own.

Britney said...

OP..I am so sorry you are getting flamed left and right.

Everyone is trying to put the blame on you for the job not working out, citing lack of experience, etc. This could be so...however nothing excuses this family for how they treated you. They took full advantage of you, misrepresented themselves to you and lied about stuff. No matter how much experience you had or didn't have should not be an issue. IF THIS FAMILY TREATED YOU LIKE THIS, + THEY HAD ALREADY GONE THROUGH 3 NANNIES already....whew!!...then it was them with the issues...not you.

I wish people on here would give you a break. You bared your soul and they just attacked you for no reason.

I disagree w/what Miss Mannah and her followers say. It is not YOUR fault OP. Believe me.

OP HERE said...

In response to Miss Hannah & Bostonnanny: I know my post doesn’t seem all that bad. But it’s hard to put into words these kids attitudes, demeanor and tantrums. Inexperienced nanny – yes. Inexperienced in child care – hardly. I have helped raise my siblings. I’m the oldest of 5. I’m 25 and my youngest sister is 7. I know the ins and outs of raising children. My sisters are very well behaved to maybe I’m spoiled in that area. And these kids were far from normal. I’ve never received a death look from a toddler until I met these folks. They would actually whisper in a low grunt that they hated me! And Bostonnanny, I knew that the lack of their socialization and stir craziness played big into their behavior, so I did try to run it as a preschool. Scheduled activities, arts and crafts. Nothing worked.

Miss Dee – we did do a working interview. I spent 8 hours my first day there as a test drive. It worked out ok. Then it got sour.

Thank you, Britney (and everyone else on my side)! I figured there would be some people who thought it was my fault. I know it’s not. There is a reason they can’t keep a nanny. Those kids are pure evil. And in regards to them being into the occult or super natural, I have no problems with that, except for the fact that I felt like they were using it against me.

I do feel better now that people have heard me out. I don’t want to go back to being a nanny because I don’t think I could deal with that again. I wouldn’t even want to chance it. It was GREAT birth control though! ;)

MissDee said...

OP: Good for you that you did a working interview. I wish more families would do these, as they are so beneficial!

I hope you didn't think I was blaming you for this not working out. You did the working interview, you didn't see any red flags, and you thought it was a good fit for you. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, and it isn't your fault.

Please don't let them sour you on being a nanny once again. It is their fault they can't manage themselves and their children, as evident by what you described. It is their fault that they treated you like crap and keep having nannies quit.

Keep your head up! You sound like you love children, and if you enjoy working with them, stay in the field. Don't let anyone else dictate to you what you should do for a career, especially these morons.

I think we should color on their walls, spill paint on the rug, and let their kids get sugared up and have them deal with it....lol

OP said...

MissDee - you're on! lol :)

Maybe in the future I'll consider it. But for now I have a very boring desk job that I love and feel appreciated at. :) thanks!

Bostonnanny said...

Op,

I never said it was your fault that the job worked out, I just said you sounded inexperienced. My youngest brother is 10 with aspergers and I raised my siblings, I'm actually in court trying to gain custody but being a nanny to other people's kids is very different. So you can't completely compare the two.

When you find a new family, you will have learned valuable lesson....don't stay so long if they are always late or back out of previous agreements. Look for a new job as soon as these red flags start popping up. It's unfortunate you had to deal with such crap but take it as a learning experience. It happens to the best of us.

RBTC said...

I watched a family while the parents were on business trips. Joe was 14. I liked the kid, he was clever and funny and very precocious but yeah, he was into the occult and he would have weird moments

my second day there we are watching tv and he throws himself across my lap and starts humping and said, " i'm going to rape you"

i thought holy cow he could - he is as big as me, but i pushed him off and laughed, and the moment passed.

then, he tried to put a "spell" on me with some rigamarole like strings, safety pins etc and chanting. He was doing all this over a certain part of my finger

Inside my head i said a prayer to God disowning what joe was doing. I kept a very innocent look on my face. he suddenly dropped all the accoutrements and could not chant anymore. He looked up at my innocent face with a startled look and that was the last time he put a spell on me

but - low grunts of "i hate you"

that would be a deal breaker for me

MissMannah said...

My name is Mannah, not Hannah. It is short for for Amanda. :) And I don't have followers...to my knowledge. Would anyone like to volunteer to be one?

If yall would read my post a little closer, you would see that I did admit that OP made her story sound not so bad but that I think the experience probably was a lot worse. A lot of what was said just sounded like petty complaining to me, ie rude children, laundry, dishwasher breaking.

Not taking the children on outings is actually pretty normal, I think. My first nanny job, I wasn't allowed to take the children anywhere except a stroller ride around the block. And their neighborhood was under major construction so we rarely did that. After a full year I was going nuts so I managed to get them to let me take the children to library story hour once a week. Some parents are overprotective and that's ok.

It is also really offensive that you seem to be afraid of wiccans...or at least that's what I gathered. Why should they try to "help their case" by trying to impress YOU with their choice of clothing and children's names? It is none of your business.

I really didn't mean for this to come off as a rant but this post is really annoying.

Phoenix said...

what do you mean they were wierd and into supernatural stuff? That is very insulting. I am glad you had such a bad time you judgmental toad.

Britney said...

Miss Mannah and Phoenix...you guys are annoying and should get lost. Your sour puss attitudes suck and should not be directed at a person who volunteered to be the first to share her horror story on this blog. I cannot believe the backlash. It is so unfair. Okay I challenge you Miss Mannah, to get the stick out of your butt and write a story for us...let's see how you fair out. I bet you would get flamed nonetheless.

Readers: Please do not let this one story cause you to not submit your own. OP did a great job and I hope to read more stories like hers. They are fun to read and let me know that regarding nanny horror stories, I am in good company.

Miss Mannah, Phoenix and Boston Nanny...I know it is hot where you all live, but Jesus...can you guys drink something besides "Hatorade?"

bostonnanny said...

Britney,

You must be new to this site, but everyone is entitled to there opinion and if you can't handle someone disagreeing with you then don't fucking submit. This this is not the first or last horror story submitted and you need to get off you high horse and plant those over pretentious feet back on the ground.

Now i'm gonna go have a nice cup of tea in my air conditioned apartment :)

OP said...

Ladies, ladies! Let's all calm down a bit. Of course I expected people to disagree with me, it's fine, no skin of my back :) again britney I thank you :)

Phoenix...if you had read my first comment on this thread, you would have seen that I said, I have no problem with occult, Wicca or anything super natural. I embrace every culture, religion, sexual orientation. I'm completely open minded and accept everyone for who they are. However, if I feel it's being used against me ie; weird dreams, I'm gonna have a problem. The only reason I brought up the weird names and clothing is because thats what lead me to believe this. I used to be goth so I never make fun of anyone.

Honestly, your comment was the only one here that bothered me. You don't know me and can not judge who I am as a person from a blog. I am so open minded and accepting, for someone I dont even know to call me a judgmental toad is outrageous. Good day.

MissMannah said...

Britney said...

"Okay I challenge you Miss Mannah, to get the stick out of your butt and write a story for us...let's see how you fair out."

Pardon me? Are you implying you would like me to write a work of fiction? I don't have a nanny horror story. I've had bad experiences in the past, but they aren't exciting enough to give people the willies. Have you never been to this site before? This is certainly not the first nanny horror story ever submitted and I'm sure I haven't scared anyone else away from submitting their own. I know I'm not that powerful.

And you're right, it is hot here. It is supposed to hit 115 tomorrow. But don't ever say "Hatorade" again to me. Something about that word just makes me shudder.

RBTC said...

Britney, i thought your Hatorade comment was funny and clever - and very accurate for some of the posters on this site.

another opinion which is just my opinion - sometimes religious people have a dark side

recently in business i have had "christians" steal from me while quoting scripture - also there was a family bad to a nanny that then lectured her that they are christian when she quit posted a few days ago

the wiccan religion is positive but there are people that use it to hide something darker - just like christians and other religions sometimes do

Britney said...

bostonnanny: it wasn't so much about disagreeing. I am a mature and classy woman and I can agree to disagree w/anyone. What I have a problem w/is just how you present yourself. The fact that you use the "F" bomb like it is candy bothers me. It shows me that you like to take cheap shots at people, but believe it or not, one does not have to drop any "F" bombs to prove a point or make a statement.

RBTC: I agree that religions have a dark side. While I share mainstream Christian beliefs....it bothers me that some "Christians" bomb abortion clinics and protest gay marriage. This is the dark side of Christianity to me and I prefer to stay on the lighter side.

I think the fact that OP had these feelings about the family were right on. One must always trust their gut instincts and follow them. How many times has someone regretted not going w/their gut feeling about something? I think this family had weird and dark religious beliefs and OP was very smart to get away from them. Who knows what else they were capable of?

UmassSlytherin said...

I think OP's job sounds like it sucks, personally.

I nannied once. Never again. EVER EVER again. It is a thankless job.

UmassSlytherin said...

hehehe
"Hatorade."

heheheheheheheheheh
now that's funny! :)

RBTC said...

Brittny - please become a regular here, you and i can offer some dr pepper or ice tea to anyone sipping hatorade

Dr. Juris said...

OP, you're blaming the family for weird dreams you had? I've officially heard it all.

Britney said...

Dr. Juris...are you really a Dr.?? If so, you do not sound very compassionate to me. I think I will just talk to my pet hamster thank you....

Phoenix said...

you said they were wierd. We don't like to be called that. It is very rude and insulting. Just because I am ok with people being Christian I don't also say that I think they are ignorant. That goes against what I said. And yes I am judgemental this isn't new to me. I will say what I think. Maybe that's just cuz I'm wierd and supernatural. Wiccan is not supernatural either it is a religion. Not one that I personally like but a religion non the less.

Phoenix said...

and besides. The family is not going to make you have bad dreams. If you know anything about dreams at all you will note that you yourself dream what you dream in order to solve problems about things that are bothering you. At least some dreams are that way. I suspect that since you were in a stressful environment your mind was trying to work out its issues. They were not attacking you. No one can get you but yourself. How do you know they were "supernatural" which I don't even understand what that means to you. What is your definition of supernatural? And being Goth has nothing to do with anything. That is a lifestyle choice that you made to dress and act strange. I don't really understand what they were. Were they just wiccans or did they just follow the LHP? Wiccans are actually a little judgmental as well since they don't like Christians. That goes against their philosophy of accepting all life and light. So to me they are hypocritical in their own respects. Why would you think that this family was trying to torture you through dreams? That would also mean that the mother or father would have to be able to astrally project to do it the right way. Any spell or thought form used would have been weak unless they knew what they were doing. But I really can't see why they would care that much about you to do that. It is very selfish of you to think that way. And what I shall say a bit weird.

Sorry if I hurt your feeling but you seem rather sensetive from the start. Assuming that people are out to get you. That is what a high stress environment can do to a weak mind. Also if you want to make youself feel safe I can tell you how to protect yourself from such "attacks" however I don't think that they were doing those thigs to you. I think you over reacted to very stressful situation and your mind didn't know how to handle it. So it tried to when you were sleeping in dream state. Lots of people do it.

Mrs. Billy Lamar said...

Rolling on the floor laughing Brit.

RBTC said...

phoeniz asked some very very smart questions which are probably beyond the scope of a blog

again - "People of the Lie - The Hope For Healing Human Evil" By M. Scott Peck,the award winning author of The Road Less Traveled

People he writes about in his book, no matter what their religion attract a dark energy through many different ways,with a decision to embrace narcissism being the big key and yes - these type of people use that energy they attract to oppress their target - being the catalyst of everything from bad dreams,confusion,depression and even suicide

What the OP went thru was not her imagination - and i agree she is sensitive to it - she is most likely capaple of great things and she was made a target to keep her down and fearful

other posters who are not as sensitive would have never agreed to work for them - they would have known they were substandard

OP said...

Wow Phoenix there's a lot there that I'm not getting into. Mostly because I don't have the patience.

The fact that the dad to this family kept telling me their last nanny was burried in the basement cement didn't help either. It was funny the first time but when he kept bringing it up...red flag.

Phoenix said...

LOL. How is that a red flag? He was obviously trying to be funny and you didn't get his humor. I don't think it is very good humor but he obviously didn't kill their last nanny and bury her in the cement in the basement. I hope you didn't take him seriously. You are not 10. Maybe you shouldn't be a nanny. There is going to be many worse families and hopefully some good families. But you can't take life and people so literal all the time.

OP said...

I'm not a nanny anymore and thanks this family, I never will be.

Phoenix said...

I feel bad for you because I know that you are a nice person and you mean well. It is unfortunate that there are people who will take advantage of kindness and pick on people who they feel are sensetive. There is nothing wrong with being sensetive especially if you work with children. That would be a good quality to have. If more nannies were gentle then we wouldn't have neglect and abuse cases near as often. I'm glad that you got away from this family as they were causing you so much stress that you were having nightmares about it.

Dr. Juris said...

No, I am not a doctor, and I'm pretty sure Phoenix is not bird that is reborn every time she dies and goes up in flames.

They are monikers. I selected mine because I will be a lawyer (juris doctor) in one year.

Have fun with your hamster.

Ella said...

@Phoenix: Are you bi-polar? You go from attacking the OP to being nice to her, etc. I don't know what to make of you.

FYI: If anyone (Nanny bosses or the like) ever told me they had someone buried in cement in the basement...joke or no joke....I'm outta there quicker than they can say, "Next!" OP I agree, that is a HUGE red flag and I do not know if I could ever work for a family like that. That is not funny what they stated...it is horrid and gross. Yuck.

Phoenix said...

Ella,
after listening to what the OP was saying I was able to judge her character a bit more. So I started out by attacking her because I felt what she said was rude. It only takes me a couple of times reading her posts that i can read her energy and realize that she isn't intending to be rude so thus I stop being rude. i can be rude to you if you'd like. If being mean is what you have come to expect from me then I can certaintly be mean to you. I have no issues with that. :)

RBTC said...

Gosh OP - it gets worse and worse - the buried in the basement thing would have been slightly funnieer without the death looks and the bizarre "I hate you " grunts.

So - Phoenix - they sound like your kinda people - would you like their name and number from the OP - i hear they need a new nanny LOL

yawn said...

Phoenix is always like that. She is just a naturally snarky poster.

Not a Fan of Phoenix said...

I think Phoenix acts like that to get attention. Or she (or he) needs to get a refill on their meds ASAP.

RBTC said...

anonymous - thank you for the laugh - we need laughs on this blog when things get weird or serious which can happen when children are at stake

nannykeeper said...

Oh OP, bless your heart! Forget the naysayers on here, I do believe they are the same ones who bash each and every OP as being "inexperienced" and not clear on their posts or problems. I for one am going through something similiar with one of my families. One makes me want to committ assault on them and their Damien like 3 year old, while the other family I sit for provides sanity and stability, otherwise I would have lost my mind. Please look for my post real soon on my daily experience and you'll see the similiarities. I am just too exhausted tonight to get my thoughts together to start my blog. Good luck!

Nanny E said...

Oh wow......this was possibly the most hilarious thread I have ever read on here! From the poster talking about her knowledge of the "dark arts", to the poster whwho ends a post by going to talk to her hamster...seriously you all made my night!

But for what its worth.. I do take slight offense to the whole " your children have weird names, so youre a freako" assumption. My daughters name is Neve Kyrie (first and middle), and I have gotten quite a few side glances when I have called her by her full name in public. I dont think my name shows that im weird, just that I have a fondness for a certain party of five actress. ;)

UmassSlytherin said...

The bottom line is this: if this family has gone through three nannies previously, obviously OP is not full of shit. Obviously this family has a problem keeping nannies.

I'm with OP on this one. Job sucks.

Lily said...

I agree Umass...that speaks for itself. Enough said.

Phoenix said...

I don't quite understand. I get looks for being rude then I get looks for being nice. Then when I advise that I have knowledge in other things I get looks for that. Hmmm... it is true one can never please a woman. I am a female btw. I have been posting to isyn for over three years now and I do have to say that this new bunch of posters are quite stupid. Congrats guys you are the most retarded people to have ever started to comment here. i thought I made it very clear that the reason I stopped being mean to the OP is because I realized that she wasn't intending to be rude. I don't know how else to explain it to you harpes. Yes I am a naturally "snarky" person. I say what is on my mind and I don't sugar coat things. I have no intention of trying to not hurt feelings. It seems that no one can really participate in conversations here. And the only reason that I know about this stuff is because of what I am and what my family is. But I guess personal experiences don't count here. But I am above you all so like always I don't really give a shit what anyone thinks and I will continue to do my own thing. ;)

Casper the Friendly Ghost said...

Phoenix...maybe it is the spirits trying to help you out...by making sure everyone knows what you have to say today..ooohhh...spooky stuff.

BOO!!!!!!!!!

Phoenix said...

LOL. if only they were that helpful...

MissMannah said...

"It seems that no one can really participate in conversations here."

BINGO!

Hence the reason I should really just keep my mouth shut most of the time.

RBTC said...

miss mannah and phoenix - sometimes "participating in a conversation" is actually bashing the OP and in many cases actually falsely accusing them - an example would be calling the OP "inexperienced" in a condescending way - she was not a nanny very long but she was very experienced with children

having said that - the Damien family would never have gotten over on you whatsoever - Miss Mannah would would have picked up on the red flags immediately being an experienced nanny and the door would not have hit her rear on the way out. Phoenix would have moved in and had a good time, and all would be happily ever after

but - to anyone who condescends to the OPS and/or falsely accuses them - they and the other posters absolutely have the right to confront you on your negativity - it's just "part of the converstion"

Farrah said...

Miss Mannah...you finally said something I can agree with.

Phoenix said...

what I don't understand is why you are stating that I was bashing the OP. Did I not for 3rd time say that I took it back and then I was being nice. And no I wouldn't live happily ever after with this family. I don't like people who are bullies and who play pretend games of supernatural. I don't like fake people so I wouldn't have taken this family seriously at all. I don't know why you would assume what I would and would not like to do. That in itself is ridiculous.

Phoenix said...

and farrah I was the one who said the thing about the conversations. MissMannah was quoting me

Bostonnanny said...

As part of this convo (which has become completely ridiculous), I have to say that people can judge and form opinions based on what they read. When an OP writes a post that is lacking specific details to express his/her experience or question, he/she leaves themselves open to interpretation. Readers are left to form opinions based solely on their post.
Bashing people for expressing their first impression based on the post that is different from yours is hypocritical. You are doing the same thing you accuse us of doing.
In regards to this post, most of the comments you say are bashing the OP are not actually bashing they are expressing their thoughts about how the op came across in his/her post. I don't believe anyone actually said she should have stuck it out and that what she went through was completely her fault. I personally just said she sounded inexperienced as a nanny ( which she said she
was) never once did I say she should have sucked it up.

Now I may have reacted negatively to my attacks but dragging this convo on has not changed my views.

( I have no comment on phoenix's opinion)

Phoenix said...

boston. What opinion would that be? I have had too many on this post alone to count. Was it the one where I called the op a judgemental ass (or something like that) which I later redacted or was it the one where I called her gentle?

Bostonnanny said...

I was not referring to you. That is way I said I had no comment towards your posts.

MissMannah said...

LOL Farrah...too bad I don't take my own advice, right?

Phoenix, I'm pretty sure she was referring to me saying I should just shut up, not when I quoted you.

RBTC, it is not a false accusation to say the OP was inexperienced, she said so herself. And I do not feel I was being condescending in my first post, nor was that my intention. OP said it herself that it didn't sound so bad and I was agreeing with her. I said it was probably a lot worse than she described it to be (which I said AGAIN in my second post), and I meant for that to be an invitation for OP to explain precisely why her experience was so bad. I never once said I could handle the job or that she should have stuck it out.

Yes, I was rather negative in my subsequent posts but that is because I felt I was being unfairly attacked for expressing my opinion. One poster even came at me with the attitude of "If you think you are so high and mighty, where's your story?" which I feel was completely uncalled for, even though the rest of yall found it funny.

Phoenix said...

Ah I see. I was mis-interpreting everything that I was reading from Boston and MissMannah, I apologize for being retarded.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

this thread is hilarious haha

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Uh..what was this post about...I seem to have gotten lost...anyone care to remind me?

OP said...

Boston- I didn't want to provide specific details because I don't know if they read this blog or not. They still have all my personal info, I'm sure and I don't want to piss anyone off. Believe me, if I could give out specifics, I would.

Bostonnanny said...

Op,
That's understandable, it's just hard to get a clear depiction of the situation when everything was vague. You left yourself open to interpretation and can not expect someone to see the situation the same way you did. I just don't understand why every freaked out, i gave my opinion based on what I read and how I believe it came across.

Britney said...

OP, I bet you never thought you would get this many responses over ONE horror story!! LOL.

I was going to submit my own...but after this fiasco...I don't know if my skin is thick enough.

OP said...

Hahaha, Got that right Britney! I didn't even think anyone would read it.

You should post your story! I'd like to read it :) plus you can act like it's not yours! And I don't know any of these people so what they say doesn't bother me at all. I'll be on your side!

Phoenix said...

Oh yes that makes a big diff in posting things. I think that it was best that you played it safe and not given too much just in case. Smart girl

OP said...

:) thank you Phoenix.

Vanessa said...

Sound like you weren't happy with your job. Crying kids are stressful, and when you don't know them, it's hard to know how they're going to react, whether they are going to respect you or not. You can't compare taking care of sibilings to taking care of strangers. You know your sibilings, you don't know these kids. It's absolutely different. Anyway, good for you for leaving. Nobody has to stay at a job where they're not happy.

RBTC said...

britny - post your story, the OP and i will protect you from the "Hatorade" crew!!

UmassSlytherin said...

I would like to read Brit's story.

5kidsin7years said...

YUCK! It's almost abusive to you AND the children to not allow you and them out! Not even outside?! They sound like very cruel parents.
I can see it if you were just a babysitter or something, but you are their NANNY (a third parent basically). My 3 year old would become mentally ill if she were never allowed to be socialized.
You were smart to get out of there......find a nice family who have had a Nanny before, and ask for her phone number! I am a Mother of 5, and have 2 past Nannies and 1 current. I always offer my new Nanny the old Nannys phone number or email, so they can chat about us.
Sorry that your first family was a bad experience!

Experienced Nanny in Jacksonville, FLA where it is muggy......................................................................... said...

I agree that asking your potential employers for their last nanny's contact info to use as a reference is one damn good idea. If the family isn't cool with such an idea, then that is the first red flag to go up!! LOL.

I have had families volunteer me their previous nannies phone numbers and have always appreciated that they understood that while they were interviewing me, I was interviewing them as well. Some families have given me the look of death when I ask for their previous nannies phone numbers and I don't want to ever work for those families since they must be hiding stuff.

Fan of Phoenix (sometimes) said...

Dayum Phoenix! I have a love/hate relationship with you, lol. I think you're intelligent and brutally honest, almost to the point of being rude. But yes, you make no apologies for it and that's why I find what you say so interesting.

Phoenix said...

He he he... a little fan club only sometimes. I will take that. My mother pointed that out the other day as well. Aparently everyone comes to me in my family who want an honest opinion. I've heard that it is just because I am a natural redhead that I am crazy. I think that may be true.

Amy said...

sorry you had to go through this horror. Sadly, I worked for a family that was worse. The kids I cared for were not allowed outside either. They could get tan, get bit by a bug and die, and what ever crazy things mom could come up with. It came to a point where I was lying to mom, just to allow the kids to play at park. When her and her husband would go out of town for the afternoon, I would sneak the kids to the park. they were not allowed to go to the park. Other kids would be there, "other kids would be bad and influence the kids". Mom did not want their cousins to come either. Their aunt is a bad mother I guess. "she let them run around and kick a ball and eat 2 packets of fruit snacks in one afternoon". After checking the background(3 times) of a painter she had come to the house. She still thought he might be a sex offender. she wanted to lock her kids in basement. she brought lunch to them downstairs, because they could not come up when he was there. Talk about NUTS!!!

ProfessionalNanny said...

Ok first of all because a family has gone through three nannies does not make them bad. I work for a wonderful family that had gone through 4 nannies in 5 years. 1 Stole from them and the rest either went back to school to finish their degree or moved. It was then they decided to look for a more mature woman who was settled in life so their kids could have stability.

2nd my son used to tantrum until she passed out over the most minor things. And believe you me, he was not spoiled. He was finally diagnosed with autism and once we had the right diagnosis we were able to treat him accordingly. When my daughter was born and began to show the same traits we were prepared and though it took several years both children are now able to control he impulse to throw themselves on the ground and scream until they literally turn blue.

3rd Being able to sit for your 5 siblings does not make you a automatic nanny. Being able to control children's behavior who were raised completely different from you is tough and some people can do it out of the box while other's need a little more practice at it.

4th If there is one thing I have learned as a nanny it's the parents coming in late is par for the course and something that must be tolerated. As parents grow more comfortable with you they seem more inclined to do this. I manage my "family" well. Every time they slip into bad habits I speak to them and remind them that I don't show up to work late because I know they are counting on me. Likewise I may make plans and am counting on them to respect my time the way I do theirs. This usually reigns the behavior in but again, I find myself having to do it every so often.

5th I too, left a career as an office manager to nanny and I have never looked back. I have a friend who was envious that I got to spend summer days at the pool and parks and winter days at the malls and movie theaters. She soon found herself a nanny job and hated it! She had a lot of the same complaints as you OP. The children were brats, the parents demanded too much etc. She quit after the most miserable 3 months of her life (her words) She is now happily back in an office and she thinks I'm crazy to be doing what I do. (different strokes for different folks!) .

Having said all that I am very sorry this position did not work out for you. I don't know you or the parents so I can't make any character judgements about any of you. You do mention you went in with a set idea of what this dream job would be like. The best way to avoid this sort of disappointment in life is too approach new experiences with realistic eyes. Having grown up in a household of 4 myself I know it was all rainbows and unicorns. My childhood memories were happy ones but if I think hard my siblings and I fought like cats and dogs and really gave our mom a hard time at times. God bless our former sitters and I wonder if they are in therapy because of us! :D Being a nanny is hard work with great rewards. Just like I could never go back to a boring desk job again, you are probably not really cut out to be a nanny. That's OK. That doesn't make you a bad person or a failure and I'm not trying to flame you. You just sound like you are very disappointed in yourself because the job didn't work out and I believe that probably has more to do with the negative energy in your life as opposed to any occult dabbling's you believe the parents may have been into to. Chalk it up to a life experience and be thankful you got away from it and found a job you enjoy. . If you want to spend time with children, Try volunteering for Big Sisters, or read at your local library or pediatric ward in a hospital. Offer occasional sitting services for local parents to have date night which would mean extra money for you and you can try out childcare again. Best of luck to you OP!

UmassSlytherin said...

Professional nanny:

I disagree that the parent coming home late is something a nanny should have to put up with. Why should the parents feel they can rely on the nanny to be on time when they are not on time themselves?

Absolutely something one should not have to tolerate, no matter how comfortable they are with their "family." If a parent is late consistently, it is sure sign of disrespect and disregard towards the nanny.

Truth Seeker said...

I agree. Having the parents come home late is not "par for the course." It it happened once or twice, I would let it go..but if it happened frequently and I was not paid extra, I would speak up. Parents want their Nannies to show up on time, so they need to be respectful in return and be home when they say they will so the Nanny can go home to her own family.

I think if a family went through a bunch of Nannies it is a HUGE red flag. If they Nannies went back to school,etc. then that would be okay to me, but if a family stated they went through five nannies based on such and such, that would be a major deal breaker to me.

yup said...

Agreed, TS. Also, what's to stop the parents from lying about the reason their nanny left? No family is going to say, "Oh, our three nannies left us because they did not like working for us." They are going to make something up like "They went back to school" or "moved."

2Nannys said...

I have to read this one with a grain of salt. I think it was because the first thought that crossed my mind is that you don't fulfill yourself as a nanny by taking them out all the time. I'm a parent and I hate to be a killjoy, but when a nanny tells me how much she likes to take them out to parks and zoos my first thought is that Fun is a bonus not a baseline; then I ask how she feels about explosive diarrhea.

I don't see this as a horror story but as a case of misunderstood expectations. I agree that it was probably a horror story for the writer and she was justified in leaving the job, but I would just have chalked it all up to being a bad fit. Certain things needed to be addressed directly in a contract and the other personal opinions cannot be addressed at all except to just say "this isn't working for me, thank you".

Amy101 said...

Being a nanny is a rewarding job, but I've come across two horror jobs in my 5 years of working as a nanny.

One of them entails being forced to go on a trip out of the country with a two day notice (yes, two days) and on said trip I got 0 time off watching the child (the trip was 7 days long) so the minute he woke up till the moment he fell asleep he was in my care. Meanwhile the family enjoyed frolicking on the beach, drinking and doing cocaine. Yes, cocaine.

After dealing with the police, sworn testimonies, foreign police, child custody case (taking their child away) and not being paid my last paycheck (my employers were angry I told the police the truth) I'm now out about 3,000 US dollars. Terrible but very true story.

Anonymous said...

This sounds so familer.Im glad someone gets it.Contacts mean crap to assholes.Unless it is there contract that covers them.My favorite is when they forget your vacation time you asked for a year in advance.

Anonymous said...

All this is so familier to me. My favorite when i asked for vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon a year in advance and they asked if i could come in to help out lololololol aaa noooo i thought they were joking!Thank god i was out of the country. Human nature??? Selfishness im not sure what it is and why people treat others so bad?? Point is in this carrer you have to stsnd up for yourself and have boundaries and be ready financially to walk and have them know it.20 years of this crap i do not incourage any one to do what i do.As nannys we dont get paid enough !!!!!! Ps so much worse so many storys i could tell.I could write a book!mmmm?