Thursday

Arrogant Boss

opinion 2 Hi everyone I have a situation at hand: The father of the twin charges that I am a nanny for is very arrogant and thinks he know everything. There is only so many incidents that can happen until I finally say "Hey!!! Enough with your smart comments and 101 questions."

I have recently purchased a used car and with purchasing a used car you have to fix it up. I came across with a problem with my car one morning (6:00am) on my way to work and had to call the mom (who I prefer speaking to anyways) and letting her know that my car had just over heated. She said for me to take my time and let her know what was going on. I had to wait for a tow truck to take it the mechanic (doesn't open until 8am) and I was letting them know everything that was going on every half hour. There were several problems with the vehicle, there was air in the system, the filter and spark plugs hadn't been changed in a while... These are things the mechanic seen when inspecting the system for the proper fluids and doing the check up.

I arrived at work at about 11 and he began with 101 questions, and telling me that the spark plugs or filter doesn't have anything to do with the car over heating (Mind you, I just told him that they found problems that didn't even have to do anything with the overheating as well). He just kept going on as if he were a mechanic (He knows absolutely nothing about cars).

The following day I come to work and he is right there again asking me what the dealership had said. I told him that they stated that it was an "AS IS" vehicle and that it had no warranty. He then asks the dumbest question as if the first answer wasn't good enough: "Well are they going to fix it?" I then told him in a very annoyed voice "It is "AS IS, NO WARRANTY"... He must have noticed the aggravation in my voice and left it at that. This is not the first time something like this has happened. I write notes daily on what is going in the day (Willingly) so that when they get home I can leave and they can read what happened through out the day and not waste 20 more min off the clock of my time. Well, that is what the mothers does. However the father will sit there for 15 min reading and then waste another 15 min of my time questioning me as if Im going to give him a different answer than what is written. He acts if I'm lying or something. His "I know it all attitude" is really starting to upset.

He also lied about telling me something that he never told me about. He does that on occasion. His wife would tell him to tell me something and he never does. She knows he doesn't because I would text her and the question being asked is something he should have told me about. I really don't know how to tell them that this is really bothering to the point where I just want to quit... The mother and charges are great people and I enjoy them, the father however, is someone where if we were on an island for months and he needed my help I would turn the other and let him fend for himself. I really don't like arrogant people.... Advice is greatly appreciated.

17 comments:

Phoenix said...

It sounds like you just plain ass don't like him. Certain people will get under your skin for no reason at all. To be honest I don't think him asking questions about your car should annoy you. It sounds like he is taking an interest. I am not there though so I wouldn't know for sure but from a third party that is what is sounded like to me. My mother asks questions like that for no aparent reason other than to fill her own curiosity. I can't take offense to it though it bugs the crap outta me. I think that you need to just count to ten and calm down everytime he starts to piss you off. Be nife, he pays you and he isn't doing anything wrong.

Phoenix said...

***nice***

LOL. nife...

OP said...

I do understand what you are saying and at first that is what I thought. But as time went on he was asking questions to answer he already knew as if he was suppose to catch me in a lie or something. Also, when he asks questions or makes a statement he says in a manner that feels as if he is belittling me. He is the type of person that even if he is wrong he is right. Its not that I don't like him, because in the beginning he was a great person and I always give a person to give me a reason not to associate myself with them or like them. I am very friendly and easy to get along with. I have been told that I am the type of person that everyone gets along with. I don't like the fact that he tries to make me feel stupid and I'm not.

Village said...

How often is Dad home? He would drive me crazy too.

My only comment is leave when your day is done. You don't have to stay while he reads. As you are leaving, (you have a date with the mechanic, every single day, if necessary), yell over your shoulder, 'text with any questions, I'M LATE!!'

He can't physically make you stay. He can fire you, but I'm not seeing that as a problem.

OP said...

I see him every morning and Friday. Since I have been starting earlier the mother is there too and they leave together but when it was just him it was unbearable. Sometimes he doesn't even say Hi. Also he thinks that as soon as I walk in the door I am on duty. I start at 7 and if I so happen to get there 10 min early, I normally use the bathroom but he is already telling one of the boys to have me do it. He is also lazy. Last week he made a mess in the kitchen making pancakes and walked out saying "sorry for the mess" I guess he must have forgotten that I am the nanny and not the maid and gave me a dirty look the next day because he had to come home and clean it.

Phoenix said...

he he he. awesome for not cleaning up his mess! He may just be arrogant. I worked for a boss who thought that women were beneath him and even though I was his secretary he had me doing his personal grocery shopping and taking his car in to the mechanic. OMG! I haven't worked for him in years. The other day I saw him at the grocery store and I was trying to buy steak next thing I know he is standing next to picking out the kind of steak I should eat and telling me why this cut is better than the other and the price cuts. Ok dude you are a CPA! I mean really. I forgot all about that until now. He was the antichrist. I hadn't seen him in years and he tries to control me again! God I remember working for him. such horrors.

Phoenix said...

so yeah. I understand the kind of guy he is now. i am so sorry you have to be around that.

Bostonnanny said...

Op you wrote the pancake thing on dcurbanmom.....I just read it lol

OP said...

Thanks for understanding Phoenix... I do not know why some men are like that. They think that you are beneath them and that they can treat you a certain way. BostonNanny: Yea I did out it there, I just wanted as much advice as possible and I was thinking that I might just be going crazy. But when he pulled that stunt on the pancake mess... I made sure I left every single crumb, spell, dish, etc. right where he left it... LOL

OP said...

That was when I knew I wasnt going crazy, he is just arrogant.

pgh nanny said...

I worked for a family like that..the mom and little girl were great...dad was such an ass. so sleazy...we would have kids over and he would say to them "bet you dont have as many toys at your house". I eventually ended up moving on in part due to the dad..I hated being home in the morning with him..i would hustle and try and leave as fast as I could. He too would leave a mess that would take at least 30 min to clean up..eggs and olive oil everywhere. Good for you for not cleaning the pancakes. This dad also preferred hiring older, foreign women..he felt that foreigners were more willing to do this crap and for cheap..yes..he actually told me this. And yes this family has been through 8 nannies in less than 2 years.

bluebell said...

People like your DB don't ever change, so if you like the job aside from his behaviour then it's simply a matter of putting as much distance between the two of you as possible. Don't arrive at work early, and take Village's advice to leave as soon as your work day is done; and since you keep a log of your charges' day, why not ask your MB to leave any messages for you in the log book rather than ask her husband to pass them on? Because the fact that he's not doing this is classic passive-aggressive behaviour...good luck, and let us know how you get on!

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

If you were on an island you would ONLY turn your head and let him fend for himself?

You sound pretty nice...I would jump in the water and swim w/the sharks if it were me!!

Minka said...

JMTCJNS and Anon: LOL.

Chrissy said...

OMG I can't stand my DB either. MB is great and kids are great. I always wonder how she ended up with such a douchebag. He just started working from home twice a week and I DREAD those days. He is also a know-it-all who really knows nothing. I can't stand him. And he's so mean to the kids (and also a huge slob). I feel for you OP.

OP said...

I was a little tempted at first about speaking up but I did. You should try doing the same. Since their your boss they think that they can talk to you any kind of way and that is not fair. I left that mess to let him know that I don't clean and I especially don't clean after you even if you were making pancakes for the charges... @ Just my two cents: I was thinking that or just tossing him in with the sharks... LOL

anon who can relate said...

I was the anon who wrote about feeling like I wrote this..I have tried talking to MB and I tell DB that its difficult and confusing for my charge when he is here..bhut he doesn't care. He will even say "I better get outta the way so I don't cause any trouble" but then continutes to be disruptive. His job requires him what seems to be about 3 hours of work a day, I think he is just bored. He goes to the gym or the pool or shopping and then I think he is just bored and I cannot stand his personality. Add the fact I don't get any paid days off even when they go on vacation, I had a whole week they were on vacation and didn't get paid..it was not a good month, thank god for my boyfriend or I would've been in big trouble financially.