What do I do?

opinion 2 I am a current nanny of a wonderful and although we had our differences on some childcare issues- we got along rather well. I have been with the family almost a year. ( in July). I did sit down with MB and asked her about a raise on the anniversary date. I started with my charge when she was an infant and now she is a thieving and energetic toddler. MB told me she did do research and found what she thought was good pay. Maybe for a baby- but there is a lot more activity now as a toddler. The toddler only sleeps, maybe, less than two hours. I do housekeeping, childcare and laundry. I also take charge to classes and activities in my own car. That’s hard to do on $8 an hour (Michigan pay). So she told me that she could possible pay vacations now- um- how's that going to help? I take one vacation a year. So pay will probably not change- they current family says they have to be careful with their money. I understand- but why a new patio set and new odds and ends for your house?

I was offered a new position and now the hard part- telling the current family. I want to leave on a good note. I will truly miss my charge (she is an only child)- she has grown in my life and I want to stay in hers. The new position offers more money and I only care for the child.

The new position starts at the end of August. When is a good time to talk to the MB and DB? How do I tell them? I don’t want to upset them and only be a memory. Thanks for all your advice.


MC2 said...

I know you meant thriving instead of thieving but I just have to say I laughed out loud at the idea of an energetic toddler running around stealing things from people.

As for your situation - take the new job and just explain that it's time for you to move on. You don't need to give any more reason than that. Or tell them you are struggling with the work load and feel like you're no longer the best fit for their needs.

You don't sound like you have a contract detailing when to give notice so I'd advise you give them enough notice to find someone new but not too much that you'll be screwed if they do take it hard and decide to cut ties then. I always gave a month notice.

MissMannah said...

This sounds mighty familiar.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

I agree w/you Miss Mannah. This sounds like a Part II of a previous post. The previous post had only a few responses so perhaps OP decided to ask again so she could get more advice.

OP, I would just wait and give notice two weeks prior to your new position starting. Make sure you save enough money in case things go bad, and they let you go ASAP. Until then, just grin and bear it if you can. Eight dollars an hour is highway robbery for childcare, housework + laundry no matter if you live in Michigan or NYC. This family is getting a deal.

Wow said...

I would tell them why. You discussed it with them and they said they can't give you a raise, so they should understand your leaving because you need more money. I agree that $8/hour is ridiculous.

At your next job, be sure to have a contract, and let them know that you would like PAID vacation and sick days.

It kills me how people say they can't afford to give their nanny a raise, yet buy things for the house right in front of the nanny's face. I've had this happen and it's not a good feeling. Do they not know how insulting that is?

Mrs. Billy Lamar said...

When I used to nanny, I found this happen again and again. Families would tell me, "Oh we can only afford to pay you such and such a see..we are on a tight budget and unfortunately cannot pay you what we would like to...thank you for understanding, etc.." then while I was on duty, the maid would come and clean for six hours (what a luxury!!) When I brought this up to my families, they would all say the same thing to me, "Oh...of course we have a weekly maid. We work all week and don't want to spend our weekends cleaning the house!"...well isn't that what people on "tight budgets" do? Do they really think working class people like to spend weekends cleaning house? No one does, but most people have no choice. Once this family told me they could only afford to pay me what a daycare cost, and while working they had a woman come over to personally clean/wax/detail the family's two cars. I asked the detailer her rate, pretending I was interested in her services, and she said she charged $80/per car. And they had three cars!!! People on "tight budgets" usually have to wash their own cars, right? Needless to say, I was outta there the next day.

Mrs. Billy Lamar said...

*three cars. Initially I wrote two. They had three.

Nanny who loves what she does said...

OP: sorry I posted this one by mistake.

Manhattan Nanny said...

I would give one month's notice, but be prepared to be let go if they find someone before the month is up.
Be as positive as possible when you give notice. You have loved caring for their child, but you have been offered an opportunity that you have decided to accept.
I wouldn't mention the higher salary unless they ask.

Wow said...

Why not mention the higher salary? She's leaving because she needs more money. Be nice about it, but be honest. Why do nannies think we need to make parents who take advantage not feel bad? She's being underpaid and she should let them know that there are people who are willing to pay what she's asking for. She doesn't have to tell how much she's getting paid, just that she found a position that pays what she needs.

Manhattan Nanny said...

I agree with you in general, but I suggested not mentioning the salary issue in this case because the OP said she was concerned about leaving on a good note, and staying in the child's life. Since she has asked for a raise, and they turned her down, I think they will understand that she is moving to a higher paying job.