I am having problems with a very rude charge of mine. Currently, I have the best nanny job that I’ve had since becoming one. I have wonderful employers, one of which used to be a nanny herself, and I also get paid very well and they treat me with respect and sincerity. My ‘family’ structure is a bit different than others I have worked for, because I technically have 3 employers. The original mother that hired me is a newly single mom currently going through a rough divorce and has a 9 year old girl (L.) and an 11 year old boy (R.). Her sister and her husband live nearby and have a 6 year old son (B.) that I also take care of at the same time. Here is my problem:
The 11 year old boy is extremely rude and disrespectful to me, almost on a daily basis. I know he’s going through some tough family stuff and probably doesn’t know how to deal with it, except in anger and frustration. Not only does he not listen to instructions, but he says rude and mean things to me and I know he’s just eleven, but it still gets to me! I don’t lash out back at him obviously and I do my best to discipline him, but it’s just getting worse, in regards to him getting increasingly meaner and also me getting pretty fed up with it. Additionally, he is very nasty to his 9 year old sister, more than normal sibling rivalry, and to me is on the levels of bullying. His family is very well aware of the situation, and we do discuss it together. There have been threats of no after school sports, taking him to after school care, and even enrollment in a military style boarding school. These threats don’t seem to work, and I do keep his mom up to date on my daily interactions with him.
I’m used to taking care of younger children, and mostly girls at that. I’m not really used to such extreme levels of backtalk and I just don’t know what to do. Has anyone had to deal with issues like a rough divorce and rude, older children? I’ve been ‘given permission’ to be as hard with him as I can as far as punishments go, but it’s getting increasingly difficult, and honestly…his comments are beginning to really get to me. Advice?